Questions~help me ease my mind

[Lunar*Fey]

Hi everybody. I haven't been here in a while. I shouldn't even be here now...too much homework! I hope this is the correct place to post this, I have some questions that have been sort of getting to me. I know some of these are more objective but I would like to at least discuss them...and here seems to be the best place to turn to, with more like minded individuals here and all...
I know I have been here a while, but I am finally just going to throw these things I need to discuss out there instead of thinking and thinking of them.
here goes...

*Is it possible that I am still growing even though I haven't grown in a while and am almost 16?
*How much fat do you think raw female teenagers would need? (I don't really get any exercise any more as I am not allowed to. I do a little strength training many days and walk home from my bus stop about 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile with a HEAVY backpack) I would rather just listen to my body on this but I am afraid that for now my mind just gets in the way and I want to make sure I am not jipping my body
*Do vegans grow more slowly, or less?
*If I once stunted my growth, can my growth catch up?
*How much zinc does a teenage female require? I find I almost never get the recommended amount. How might this be detrimental to my already compromised growth and development? What are the signs that I am not getting enoguh zinc and that my health is being compromised because of it?
*Is it possible to bring back true health and how can i know that I am truly healthy. Why is it that I was never previously "unhealthy" at a naturally lower than average weight and now that I am raw and have previously had an eating disorder this lower than average weight makes me unhealthy
*Are these signs of unhealthiness? (in the winter-hands get very cold and are often bright red or dusky purple/blue and gross looking. hair is very thin although it seems to be growing back healthier now. sometimes get spacey/out of it like a blood sugar drop or something but I don't feel hungry-I eat anyway and generally get energy again.This happens very infrequently though. I can't think of other examples right now. Over all I do feel healthy, just very uncomfortable and self concious of my body...not because i feel fat AT ALL but because I feel that my body is weird, strange, wrong, hurt...or something like that. I feel very exposed. I also hate hate hate having the back of my neck or my arms bare.

I understand this is rather long, but I would really appreciate some help/advice/discussion with me and others from anyone who is willing. Thank you so much!

[Pierre]

I checked my height when I applied for a passport to go to Portugal, when I was around 25. I was 1.47 m tall. I have since grown to 1.51.

[Lunar*Fey]

hmm thank you for addressing that Pierre. Don't growth plates close after a certain amount of time though? Do you think your height difference could have been your shoes or hair-do or something like that? I am not sure about that unit of measurement so I don't know if my questioning is plausible. Any way thank you, I really hate the idea of being short and weirdly figured forever when I was supposed to be tall and properly proportioned and whatnot. ugh I can't believe I ever did that to myself *hangs head*

[misslinda]

*Is it possible that I am still growing even though I haven't grown in a while and am almost 16?

If you are talking about height, there's a possibility of spinal issues and cervical that can contribute to losing height. As far a growth period, that I am not knowledgeable in.

*How much fat do you think raw female teenagers would need? (I don't really get any exercise any more as I am not allowed to. I do a little strength training many days and walk home from my bus stop about 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile with a HEAVY backpack) I would rather just listen to my body on this but I am afraid that for now my mind just gets in the way and I want to make sure I am not jipping my body

With raw, your body utlizes nutrients much more efficiently. You will find that you don't half as much exercise as conventional standards. Myself 1/2 hr a day was sufficient for not only toning but blood flow and exercising dexterity for the body. Yoga is excellent that you can do in the privacy of your own room. Back to fat, just eat what feels comfortable.......not that we encourage to eat nuts all day but there are so many levels of raw that it really is hard to determine what is right b/c like you said, you alone know by what your body wants--that will be the most accurate vs us trying to determine.



*Do vegans grow more slowly, or less?

Grow as in???? If you mean height again, I don't see why a young person who is getting vital nutrients would stunt in growth.

*If I once stunted my growth, can my growth catch up?

that reminds me of your first question. Looks like Pierre had results. Again, could be a number of factors. People start holding themselve taller,starighen the spine etc.


*How much zinc does a teenage female require? I find I almost never get the recommended amount. How might this be detrimental to my already compromised growth and development? What are the signs that I am not getting enoguh zinc and that my health is being compromised because of it?

It's more of an issue of why your body is not assimilating in a nutrient vs how much you are taking in. Those recommended amounts are based on conventional standards that don't take into consideration that thos that can absorb and assimilate effectively, dont' need as much.



*Is it possible to bring back true health and how can i know that I am truly healthy. Why is it that I was never previously "unhealthy" at a naturally lower than average weight and now that I am raw and have previously had an eating disorder this lower than average weight makes me unhealthy

Achieving optimal health is a process. Just b/c you [seemed] healty in you "unhealthy" days doesn't not mean you were void of health issues. Granted when I was severely anorexic, I was running 15 miles everday and working full time and seemed healthy. Health issues can be "dormant" and what do you mean by now at raw you are "unhealthy?":confused:



*Are these signs of unhealthiness? (in the winter-hands get very cold and are often bright red or dusky purple/blue and gross looking. hair is very thin although it seems to be growing back healthier now. sometimes get spacey/out of it like a blood sugar drop or something but I don't feel hungry-I eat anyway and generally get energy again.

Sounds like a blood circulation issue. It would depend on the prior months that leads to your response to what you have been experiencing or eating. Styaing hydrated in the winter months is important too. How were the months prior to winter?


Okay, I just threw some thoughts out there and will quite babbling. :p

[nzgirl]

As for the, do vegans grow more slowly, question. I think it's all about how you eat. I've been vegan since I was 12 (vegetarian since 7) and I'm 5'7 so it didn't stunt my growth. I think as long as you healthy, get in all of your nutrients, you'll hit your maximum height.:)

[Pierre]

It couldn't have been my shoes, as I measure my height barefoot. It couldn't have been my hair; I'd have to make a bun on top of my head to get 4 cm. It was probably my spine.

[luckitri]

Oh Lunar Fey! I am so mad at this new board! I wrote you a long heart felt response and the board messed up and refused to let it post!?!?! Aaagghh! I will try again later.

[Lunar*Fey]

Thanks MissLinda!

*Is it possible that I am still growing even though I haven't grown in a while and am almost 16?
If you are talking about height, there's a possibility of spinal issues and cervical that can contribute to losing height. As far a growth period, that I am not knowledgeable in.

Yes I am talking about height. Most of my family is tall. My mom is 5'91/2 herself and I am a picture of her. It was estimated I would be around 5'8" but now I am only 5'4...I stopped my growth/development at a most vital time...my body hadn't even truly started transitioning/developing into adolescence-adulthood yet...it was just on the very verge.

*How much fat do you think raw female teenagers would need? (I don't really get any exercise any more as I am not allowed to. I do a little strength training many days and walk home from my bus stop about 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile with a HEAVY backpack) I would rather just listen to my body on this but I am afraid that for now my mind just gets in the way and I want to make sure I am not jipping my body
With raw, your body utlizes nutrients much more efficiently. You will find that you don't half as much exercise as conventional standards. Myself 1/2 hr a day was sufficient for not only toning but blood flow and exercising dexterity for the body. Yoga is excellent that you can do in the privacy of your own room. Back to fat, just eat what feels comfortable.......not that we encourage to eat nuts all day but there are so many levels of raw that it really is hard to determine what is right b/c like you said, you alone know by what your body wants--that will be the most accurate vs us trying to determine.
Often I don't even desire any overt fat sources...but then when I want a lot I sometimes don't any way. My mind sort of plays tricks. I just don't want to stop myself from properly developing or functioning or whatever. Agh confusion! I know I am making this way too complicated but I have already screwed up so much for myself I fear ruining more and such

*Do vegans grow more slowly, or less?
Grow as in???? If you mean height again, I don't see why a young person who is getting vital nutrients would stunt in growth.
hmmm I don't really know, I guess I meant grow as in height. I agree...but withotu all the hormones and crap of the SAD diet does it happen more slowly I wonder? And how do I know I am getting the vital nutrients? lol aghh

*If I once stunted my growth, can my growth catch up?
that reminds me of your first question. Looks like Pierre had results. Again, could be a number of factors. People start holding themselve taller,starighen the spine etc.

True, althoguh I am talking a matter of inches. My mother grew about 3 inches after age 17...but she was a hardcore runner so i don't know.

*How much zinc does a teenage female require? I find I almost never get the recommended amount. How might this be detrimental to my already compromised growth and development? What are the signs that I am not getting enoguh zinc and that my health is being compromised because of it?
It's more of an issue of why your body is not assimilating in a nutrient vs how much you are taking in. Those recommended amounts are based on conventional standards that don't take into consideration that thos that can absorb and assimilate effectively, dont' need as much.
ahh thank you, how would I know if my body assimilates the nutrients? I stuff myself everyday and yet my weight is not increasing and my mom and the doctor are getting mad. My weight is low...but the thing is my body looks healthy besides being thin...like there aren't any bones showing that shouldn't be and nothing is sunken in or anything like that. People generally don't look at me and think I am a sick individual (unless I have had a rough day during school:rolleyes: ) Since our standards are different than conventional as I presumed, I wonder how much I woud need (zinc) as a raw foodist? I don't want to get hooked on numbers or whatever I just mean to ensure that I am doing what is best for my body. I just fear doing any more damage to my life...

*Is it possible to bring back true health and how can i know that I am truly healthy. Why is it that I was never previously "unhealthy" at a naturally lower than average weight and now that I am raw and have previously had an eating disorder this lower than average weight makes me unhealthy
Achieving optimal health is a process. Just b/c you [seemed] healty in you "unhealthy" days doesn't not mean you were void of health issues. Granted when I was severely anorexic, I was running 15 miles everday and working full time and seemed healthy. Health issues can be "dormant" and what do you mean by now at raw you are "unhealthy?"
I agree. I have a question for you, how do you like know when you are truly like living free of an ED? I don't feel like I have an eating disorder any more at alllll....and yet I am consistantly and that I am just used to living with it or whatever. I mean, I enjoy eating and do my best to ensure that I am providing my body with enough calories and nutrition. I don't do anything to try to hurt it or starve it or anything. ugh i don't know what I am trying to say anymore

*Are these signs of unhealthiness? (in the winter-hands get very cold and are often bright red or dusky purple/blue and gross looking. hair is very thin although it seems to be growing back healthier now. sometimes get spacey/out of it like a blood sugar drop or something but I don't feel hungry-I eat anyway and generally get energy again.
Sounds like a blood circulation issue. It would depend on the prior months that leads to your response to what you have been experiencing or eating. Styaing hydrated in the winter months is important too. How were the months prior to winter?
I am not quite sure but I remember feeling very healthy and vibrant during the summer. I just felt like a glowing ball of energy. I LOVE the sun and when I am spending a lot of time in it I just feel all together healthier. Winter months seem to kill me the past two years. I get sick more often, I have trouble staying warm, my hands turn gross and purple or bright red...it literally looks liek I painted my skin or something. yet in the summer time I generally feel great, radiant, wonderful as far as I remember

Okay, I just threw some thoughts out there
and will quite babbling.
no no thank you so much! I truly am greatful for your "blabbering"!

[Lunar*Fey]

NZGirl,
thank you. I guess my fear is what if I am NOT getting the nutrients? I mean I get plenty of calcium lately but what if I am not absorbing it? agh I am just fearful of further damaging my health and life I guess...and so I was just wondering if vegans maybe grow more slowly and that I wasn't like doing something wrong or something. I should probably be around 5'6 right now but stunted my growth and am 5'4. Potentially my height was estimated to be soemthing like 5'6" to 5'9"...*Sigh*

Pierre,
Please know that I didn't mean to sound insulting or anything...I was simply making sure. Thank you for sharing. THat is so wonderful and gives me hope. I laughed about the bun hair style :) is it true then about growth plates closing or whatever? Or are you thinking something else spinal? lol sorry I am a very concerned individual at the moment...which I know isn't healthy but...

[moonstone523]

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but Lunar*Fey, I know you've struggled with eating disorders in the past, and many of your posts TO ME sound like you still are struggling with some issues surrounding them.

I wish you the best on your quest to better health, but I really think you should look within and combat your eating issues before you go any farther on raw.

Eating only raw foods is a form of control, and if you are unable to handle that , I think you should work out some of your old issues first.

:)

[luckitri]

*Is it possible that I am still growing even though I haven't grown in a while and am almost 16?

Yes you are most definately still growing. I was still growing in my mid twenties. I got muscles in my stomach and back that I did not have in my teens. (I assume they are for child bearing.)


*How much fat do you think raw female teenagers would need? (I don't really get any exercise any more as I am not allowed to. I do a little strength training many days and walk home from my bus stop about 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile with a HEAVY backpack) I would rather just listen to my body on this but I am afraid that for now my mind just gets in the way and I want to make sure I am not jipping my body

This is all very individual. You need fat for brain development and maintenance also - so don't jip your brain either! I am sorry that you have lost your trust in yourself and your own judgement.


*Do vegans grow more slowly, or less?

Vegans grow more slowly. Over time they do catch up and often surpass their SAD peers. I know because I am one. (partially) I also know because I have read many sites about raw and vegan and that is the common observation about children raised this way.


*If I once stunted my growth, can my growth catch up?

Yes, even premature babies catch up in most cases. The human body is a wondrous mechanism. Many children starved in concentration camps and came out to grow into wonderful adults who did many great things. So don't worry, OK?


*How much zinc does a teenage female require? I find I almost never get the recommended amount. How might this be detrimental to my already compromised growth and development? What are the signs that I am not getting enoguh zinc and that my health is being compromised because of it?

Dream is a wonderful researcher. I will defer the amounts and signs question to her. I do know that before you were a thought in the back of your fathers mind I took a nutrition class. We were taught that men need zinc and women need magnesium. We both need both of course but men need the zinc more than women do . . . and conversely women need the magnesium more than men do. The professor taught us to remember "zinc for the dinc" because these minerals are needed for proper function of sexual organs and he wanted us to remember which one was for which sex.


*Is it possible to bring back true health and how can i know that I am truly healthy.

Yes you can still achieve true health. When you get there you will forget all about these questions in your zest to achieve your goals in life.

Why is it that I was never previously "unhealthy" at a naturally lower than average weight and now that I am raw and have previously had an eating disorder this lower than average weight makes me unhealthy

Like Miss Linda said. . . . or. . . . You may have hereditary tendencies which have not manifested due to your youth and your healthy lifestyle. Averages are simply that - what is average is not normal for many. In order to achieve an average number in math you have to accumulate the numbers at both ends of the spectrum as well as all the ones in between. Maybe you are naturally at one end of the spectrum.

*Are these signs of unhealthiness? (in the winter-hands get very cold and are often bright red or dusky purple/blue and gross looking. hair is very thin although it seems to be growing back healthier now. sometimes get spacey/out of it like a blood sugar drop or something but I don't feel hungry-I eat anyway and generally get energy again.

They may be signs of weakness or unhealthiness or maybe just a very sensitive body. I would recommend getting a non-western allopathic point of view of these things. I remember years ago reading in Chinese medicine that open pores on the face indicate sugar intolerance. I see that it is true. They have thousands of years of observation accumulated in their practice and I think highly of it. If you determine that you just have a more sensitive body than others do it will help you (I hope) to realize that your quest to maintain health is a rational good choice for you. Some people need to be more careful with their bodies. Dancers are notoriously sensitive. Not something that is often mentioned in the literature about them. The sensitivity and the fragility is part of the beauty. Cherish it - don't hate it.

This happens very infrequently though. I can't think of other examples right now. Over all I do feel healthy, just very uncomfortable and self concious of my body...not because i feel fat AT ALL but because I feel that my body is weird, strange, wrong, hurt...or something like that. I feel very exposed. I also hate hate hate having the back of my neck or my arms bare.

You had your autonomy taken from you. You are a dependant child so it is legal. However you were strong on the path to developing your independance and now you seem to distrust everything about your self and your own thought process. I can only see the destruction from here. I am sure that what happened to you was valid but I see it as barbaric as well because I am seeing the destructive aftermath in your self expression. I believe that they failed to fully address the healing process and that it is a failure in the profession not the individual professionals that treated you. It is also a failure of our medical system to not want to pay the true cost of helping you to heal all the way. The words that you use to describe your feelings towards your body (above) are reflective of the attitude of others towards your body when they put you into that program. You still have their attitude towards what your body was then stuck in your head. Since their program seems not to address it I urge you to develop positive self image with the body you have now. It is a very hard thing to judge because at your age it is common and expected to be uncomfortable with your body. So the professionals can legitimately overlook it. But I think you are in a danger zone. I think you need help to complete the healing process. Also, even if your body seems out of proportion to you now - that is common when in growth phases. My son has huge feet and a skinny little body. The huge shoes look ridiculous on him but that is just the way it is. He still is beautiful to me. He is only 12.

Please try positive affirmations with yourself. Positive self-talk. Try to regulate your thoughts. If you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself in your head you have to cancel it out by overpowering it with positive. This can be construed as being obsessive compulsive also but you really DO need to cancel out and overpower those negative thoughts. Pray. 21 days to make a habit.

[dreamrawalwz]

I don't have much time, nor do i know the answers to all your questions, but for the height thing...EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT :) Some grow slowly, others quickly. Some shoot up while others grow gradually. My aunt was 5' when she went in to college and by the time she graduated she was 5'3".

[Lunar*Fey]

Moonstone,
no worries. I appreciate your input :) . I agree, although I don't believe I necessarily have eating issues any longer there are sadly other issues which hinder my health. I understand the whole control thing, but at the same time that is not my reason for being raw. I am truly a girl who desires an all around natural, healthy lifestyle and raw really fit that. I willingly eat much more than many other "normal" girls in my school. Truly raw has to do with my passion for nature...althoguh I do see how it could be a form of control.
thank you again and I will continue to work on addressing my issues :)

Luckitri,
wow what a detailed and lengthy response. Thank you very much. Thank you for the reassurance about the growth. My doctor and school wellness teacher taught that one only grows for two years following the arrival of one's menstrual cycle or by around ages 14-16. This scared me to death as I will be 16 in April.
I agree I need to ensure that I give my brain proper fat. Lately i have been forcing myself to make absolutely sure I have some overt fat sources. I have tracked on fitday.com and see that I get around 9-17% of my daily intake from fat. usually somewhere in the middle of those figures. I am not able to trust my own judgement as it has been so entrenched upon me to get certain amounts of certain types of foods and keep track of them and ensure that you get no lower than a certain amount of calories and blah blah blah. I fear that if I don't I will unknowingly eat less and lose weight and that scares me to death as I am very closely (weekly) watched by the doc.
Oh thank you, that IS proof that i can catch up! there is hope for me yet. I just pray that I am feeding myself properly. I try my best but how can I know for sure that I am giving myself just what I need? *don't worry don't worry* lol. thank you!
zinc is for the dink! lol funny. I do get plenty of magnesium daily..now I just hope my body properly absorbs it. My zinc intake and sometimes my phosphorus and selenium intake are the only ones that seem to be less than conventional standards.
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement, you don't know how much I appreciate it!
Also, I do think I must have a very sensitive body. I can feel large reactions to every little thing. I can also sort of feel things going on within my body if that makes sense? I also seem to be very sensitive to what I eat and such. I am very senstive to those around me and my environment as well. That's funny because, although I have never had the opportunity of formal training, I absolutely love dancing.
I agree with your view of medicine, but as a 15 year old whose opinion and ideas are always looked down upon...there is nothing I can really do about the medicinal situation. When that is more under my control I will definately do so!
I actually have been using positive affirmations/mantras without really meaning to. :) I do want to love myself and achieve true happiness and health...body, mind, and spirit. and I do recognize the necessity of loving oneself and body no matter what and being positive. Again, thank you so very much for taking the time to send me all this. I appreciate it so greatly.

Tracey,
Thank you for replying despite your lack of time:) We haven't talked in forever, I miss you!!! Wow your grandmother grew late. There is hope for me yet! lol

[luckitri]

It may well be that the sensitivity that you describe may be a more normal original state of being - something that we were in a previous time - when we were more in tune with our responses to things and to our environment - when we knew that discomfort at the base of our spine meant to leave that place or that person NOW type of intuition as well. We have been trained to tune all that out and ignore it or belittle it because it is not scientific and we have no way of measuring or proving it yet. Nowadays being called "sensitive" is usually a form of insult or disdain not respect - a way of belittling someone who cannot hide their reactions to negative stimuli or who needs to honor their reactions for their own health. Those of us who are "sensitive" need to learn special coping ways and things that we can say to others without putting ourselves in a vulnerable position. Someone had posted a link for "highly sensitive people" awhile back. I need to find it and look at it again.

[vgloveforlife]

thank you. I guess my fear is what if I am NOT getting the nutrients? I mean I get plenty of calcium lately but what if I am not absorbing it? agh I am just fearful of further damaging my health and life I guess...and so I was just wondering if vegans maybe grow more slowly and that I wasn't like doing something wrong or something. I should probably be around 5'6 right now but stunted my growth and am 5'4. Potentially my height was estimated to be soemthing like 5'6" to 5'9"...*Sigh*

All this worry and stress over your diet is going to cause deficiencies!!

Just eat, enjoy your food, fill your body, take a supplement if you need to and then forget about food and nutrition.

You can grow fine on a vegan diet. My daughter is 6 and vegan and she is very tall. She just had another growth spurt and needs new clothes.

Also my advice to you: Don't stress if something isn't raw. Just eat healthy food whether it's raw or not. You have a history of an eating disorder and I don't think limiting your food variety is such a good idea. I was obsessive for a time there too and I lost a lot of weight and was too skinny. I am not obsessive or picky anymore and I feel better then ever and I've gained weight.

[dreamrawalwz]

All this worry and stress over your diet is going to cause deficiencies!!

Just eat, enjoy your food, fill your body, take a supplement if you need to and then forget about food and nutrition.

You can grow fine on a vegan diet. My daughter is 6 and vegan and she is very tall. She just had another growth spurt and needs new clothes.

Also my advice to you: Don't stress if something isn't raw. Just eat healthy food whether it's raw or not. You have a history of an eating disorder and I don't think limiting your food variety is such a good idea. I was obsessive for a time there too and I lost a lot of weight and was too skinny. I am not obsessive or picky anymore and I feel better then ever and I've gained weight.

I was going to mention that. So much stress/anxiety/ and worry can caus your body to "freak out" and become ill, defficient, or lose weight or something similar. Try to be calm and peaceful and let your body do what it needs to do to heal and absorb all your nutrients. I think you should try to not concentrate on your food intake as much anymore. I know you know roughly what provides what and how many calories I'm sure, so can you try not to log it into fitday anymore? We need to chat via email :)

[Lunar*Fey]

Luckitri,
hmm yes that interesting, I was actually thinking about that the other day. I have always been a very senstive person (physically and mentally) and this has definately been heightened since going raw...it may have more to do with my attitude and desire to listen to my body's language than the food but who knows? Its probably both. People do tell me it is bad to be so sensitive and that I need to work on it but that feels like betraying myself...i don't know!

VgforLife,
I agree! That is why I posted this...I need to just get it out of my head and reassure myself. I just need to like talk about it a bit. Like its already helped a bit today. I was thinking of supplementing but we have really cheap vitamins and I used to take them pretty much daily. I dreaded the time I had to take them every day because I alwasy felt queasy after and then sort of burped them up all day. yuck. I think I am going to stay 100% for now, just because it feels right to me right now. I used to feel sort of bad for eating sprouted legumes and grains...now I do it just to add other nutrients in case and I actually enjpy them now whereaas before sprouted legumes (lentils) made me feel sick. that reminds me, I need to get some sprouting now! But thank you, I am really trying to not worry about it, but I am consistantly told/made to worry about it by the doc and mother and such.

Tracey,
You're right. And while I am not really like freaking out about what I eat, I still worry about doing the right thing for my body all the time and I know I need to stop...thats why I came here when I should be doing my bucket loads of school work lol. Thank you for the info/advice. I will try harder to do so...or maybe the key is not trying at all. lol we shall see. thank you again, we do need to talk! :)

[luckitri]

Well the only bad part about it is being around unethical people at school or work who like to poke at you and watch you squirm. So it is good to learn to make your face passive and not show reactivity to those types and to be able to call up a quick response to get them to back off. It is considered a sign of weakness and not valued in our culture but it can also be a source of strength. Remember - the beautiful fragile flower is the one most cherished. You need to cherish yourself. You are flowering and you want to give good fruit. Don't let strange fruit poison you.

I know. I have some sickos at work that still like to make fun of how I was physically when I had a disease 8 years ago. I have had surgery and don't do that anymore. . . but they still like to make fun of it. I actually had to wait for one to retire. No one tells them its a tired old joke. No one tells them to stop. No-one sent me a card or anything for the surgery and I could have died - and even after I was stuck on life saving medicine for years. But for some sick reason they think it is OK to pick at it.

[Lunar*Fey]

Luckitri,
quite true. I am terribly sorry to hear about your awful experience. People can be so horrific! That is disgusting.
It sounds like you are a very, very strong admireable woman :) Luckily, I have learned not to let people take advantage of me for the most part. The only issues I tend to ever have in that way are with family :( . But yes, sensitive people (especially) need to learn to stick up for themselves or they will be miserable.
You are right, we all must cherish ourselves in order to bloom into a truly happy healthy being.