The demon 10 lbs.

[SmilingRawDancer]

(If this somehow goes against the rules of the forums, I apologize)

Alright, I'll start this with a preface:

February of 2006 (last year) I was about 140 pounds (I'm 5'1", so that's too much for my frame etc.), and I was overweight and I felt awful, my feet were strained and I had the worst self esteem. I cried alot over it, and...well anyone who's been bigger than they'd like to be knows how I felt.
I had some other huge stress issues going on at the time as well, and I feel into a pretty bad eating disorder/disordered eating.
I ate around 300-400 calories a day, and exersized for 1 1/2 hours religiously every day. That went on even through my first 5 months of being raw (without knowing about Alissa Cohen), and untill maybe 2 months ago I was still eating very restrictivly. After that I felt ok with Raw, and wanted to see if I could maintain my prefered weight on raw, eating all that I desired.

Now, as I've been feeling my jeans get tighter, and my stomach layer of fat getting thicker (and it's already thicker than average, even when I'm "skinny"), I'm very dishearted, and I find myself daily fighting restricting again. I DESPERATELY want to get back to 96-98 lbs, as that's where I look healthily lean, and comfortable in a bikini, but I see no way to make that happen.

I'm afraid to fall back into bad habits, but I need something to calm me and make the summer months more bathing suit comfortable.

If anyone has any advice, tips, tricks...it'd be appreciated mucho :)

<3

[BrianC]

98 pounds??? That's way too skinny, even for 5'1". I don't know much about eating disorders but I'd say you should find counseling since it seems you've headed back in that direction. I hate that this country has established such a terrible standard for appearance, but guys do not need to see ribs and collarbones for a girl to look good in a bikini. Raw is about knowing you are healthy, not needing a doctor or a waistline to tell you. Hopefully this helps you feel better about your body image.

[salsababy]

Hmmm....well I am 5'1 too. I wasn't able to see any pictures of you but I think you are more small framed (yes?). I agree with Brian that 90 something pounds may be a little too thin. 110 lbs. may seem a more healthier goal (and still pretty darn good for a bikini!!). I am more of a larger frame and I thought 110 lbs. was my goal weight UNTIL I lost a lot of weight one year and I would have looked horribly sick at 110lbs. It was then I could accept that sometimes numbers and just that, numbers.

Another thing, exercise. I am the same weight I was in highschool yet my body structure looks different. Because I workout. Nothing can boost your self-confidence and give you a better body than working out and eating healthy. It really does change your perspective on things. I use to want to be thin- at no costs! Now I want to be vibrant, healthy, with some rocking abs. lol. :p

[SmilingRawDancer]

I can't believe that 98 lbs sounds bad to someone. Actually, I can. But honestly, I know how I looked at that weight, and it was still meaty. (lol)
No bones, just leaner.

OK, from here out I'll not use pound terms, I'll just say this:
I'd like to look leaner, and decrease my body fat that I've accumulated, while not starving.

[salsababy]

I can't believe that 98 lbs sounds bad to someone. Actually, I can. But honestly, I know how I looked at that weight, and it was still meaty. (lol)
No bones, just leaner.

OK, from here out I'll not use pound terms, I'll just say this:
I'd like to look leaner, and decrease my body fat that I've accumulated, while not starving.

Ohhh...we didn't mean anything bad when mentioning lbs. But really lbs. can be an obsession. And I think Brian pointed out that as someone who used to have issues with the scale (me too!), it would be better not to pinpoint a goal weight. Like you said, concentrate on looking healthier and leaner! That sounds great!! :)

[misslinda]

I'm a inch taller but I understand what you mean. Even at 107, I was still "pudgy" I think only short people can understand that. I think sometimes these 2 digit numbers shun people. Granted, there are some frames that can look real slim at 107.

When I was 100% raw I was healthy and slim 93-96 lbs mind you I was able to eat a whole cantaloupe ,6 grapefuits,salad and head of lettuce so I would hardly call it starving. :p

Smilingkyle, for clarification, are you saying that to get to the weight that you are now, you have had to restrict on raw?

[SmilingRawDancer]

No, I've been eating as much as I want (plus a little more "emotional overeating" food), and I've gotten to the pudger size I am today.

I'd like to get a tad leaner again :-\

[rawOrchid]

You are a beautiful girl! You have to feel confident and beautiful from within to find self-repect, love, and gratitude.. It is these tools that will help you conquer , along with your raw foods and exercise, your "demons".

I've danced all my life, and I've seen my friends through many hard times, with eating disorders... I've never been perfect with weight myself, but have made a conscious promise from a very young age to respect wherever my body feels most confortable at.

Try and visualize a healthy, leaner, more respected YOU, and thrive for that healthy image! Maybe, detach yourself from the bubble that you are in and stand far away from it... look at the big picture and realize that being healthy and confortable in your own skin is hollistic, beautiful and true.

:)

[misslinda]

No, I've been eating as much as I want (plus a little more "emotional overeating" food), and I've gotten to the pudger size I am today.

I'd like to get a tad leaner again :-\


Smilingkyle, how long have you been raw?

By what you have said, it sounds like you have put your mind/body under distress and that alone interferes with our body's ability to function optimally.......how about doing a combination of things--dealing with the underlying cause of emotional eating and eating RAW with FUN and pleasure?

Alot of us that have struggle with ED's or emotional eating have found great strides in doing our daily appreciations and the abundance thread. Ya know, we have to start somewhere--right? We would love to have you!

It took me 2 years to get to where I am at but that was without any help or assistance. You can do it sooner!!!!:) ;)

You'll be AMAZED out how much change you will make..........:)

[SmilingRawDancer]

I finally bought the book The Secret the other day, and I read the chapter on weight/body image, and I've been using all the tools recommended, and it does help quite a bit. I guess I'd like to find a way to maintain a leaner body (while raw), without feeling deprived.

[SmilingRawDancer]

Thanks so much everyone :)

I know that things can only get better with raw, and I have the confidence that EVENTUALLY things will balance out, even if it takes 5 years.

I think I'm just going to eat a tad cleaner (less mixing, blending, gourmet), and see how I feel, and go from there. I've been trying to find something to distract me/give me the same comfort I need when I feel like eating for emotional reasons, and I'm still working on it :p

<3

[misslinda]

See, you are already on top of the world Smiligkyle!!!! It's good to share your feelings and get it out there---enriches all of us by heart........keep us updated chickadee :)

[Dj 247]

First, be proud of what you have accomplished! You lost weight and sought answers for a serious eating problem! I say way to go for that. I think your weight goals are probably doable. I mean I am 5' 4" and my healthy range is as low as 111 lbs. I would never go as low as 111 lbs because I like my weight at 117. I have just started adding raw foods into my diet. It has caused me to eat a lot more because my body is craving the fat and processed sugar from my previous eating habits. I have read when my body gets use to the change I won't feel as hungry. Give yourself time and add more raw vegetables and fruits. Your know your mother was right if she said eat your vegetables, but she should have said eat your raw vegetables! lol I also don't think there is nothing wrong with wanting to look great in a bikini as long as you get into that kind of shape by eating healthy raw foods or mostly raw foods. Imagine looking as good on the inside as you do on the outside.

[SmilingRawDancer]

Thanks :)
I'm going to walk for 30 min every day, and stop mixing foods so much. More mono-type eating for awhile, and see how that goes :)

[faith4u]

I highly recommend Jean Antonello's books used along with a raw diet. Especially Breaking Out of Food Jail.

It sounds to me like you are in major starvation mode. She tells you in her book how to get out of the vicious Feast/Famine cycle. It is a long process but worth it.

Her other book is called How to be Naturally Thin.

[fjernsyn]

Yeah, I don't think 98 pounds is too skinny for someone who is 5'1". Dr. Fuhrman, who does not advocate a raw diet but does advocate a very high nutrient vegan diet, says that women should weigh around 95 pounds for the first five feet and then 4 pounds for each additional foot. Also that women should be able to pinch no more than one inch of body fat on the abdomen.

I find it interesting that raw foodists, who have taken the huge step to get away from the SAD diet, still often have SAD weight ideals. The truth is, even if some women look nice with more "meat on their bones", that excess body fat just is not good for the body.

[Vegan Princess]

After restricting, your metabolism is probably in survival mode and holding on to what you eat. If you just stick with raw your body will be able to heal itself and your metabolism will return to where it should be. It just takes a little time and patience to let your body heal from the stress you put it through. Be kind to yourself. :) I've been there!

Cindy