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chilove
02-20-2007, 07:10 PM
Hello all,

I recently posted this in response to another thread and I thought I'd start a new thread about it so more people could see it and benefit from it and to generate more discussion about techniques to deal with emotional eating. It would be great to hear what works for you!



What I've discovered about emotional eating through studying it a great deal and working with clients is that we typically do it to avoid feeling something (anxiety, boredom, sadness, fear, etc) and we do it out of habit (social situations, celebrations, etc). Part of it is that cooked food is very numbing and when we first go raw we often spend a lot of time trying to recapture that numbed out sensation. We feel uncomfortable being fully conscious and present at first. It is hard for us to just "be" with ourselves and our feelings. But if we stick with it and find the courage to be willing to resist the urge to eat we can learn that those feelings are 1) not nearly as horrible as we had feared they might be and 2) actually pass pretty quickly if we would just let ourselves feel them.

Another reason why avoiding cravings and emotional eating is so hard is that these behaviors are driven by how our brains have evolved to reward us for engaging in behaviors that are very important to our species, like eating and reproduction. If these behaviors weren't enjoyable we might not survive as a species, so our brain rewards us with flooding our brain with pleasurable feeling chemicals (dopamine for one) when we engage in them. We are always seeking this chemical reward because it feels so good. The idea is to replace the behavior that is troubling us (emotional eating) with something else that makes us feel good. Make sure that you have many pleasurable experiences in your life. Food is meant to pleasuable, but it shouldn't be the ONLY pleasurable experience in our lives.

Also, cognitive therapy teaches us that changing the way we think about cravings can help a great deal. Many times our thoughts make things much worse for us. We often tend to exagerate and catastrophize things. Here are some common unrealistic beliefs about cravings and some better ways of thinking about them:

Unrealistic Belief:
Cravings are excruciating or unbearable.
Realistic Alternative:
They are uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

Unrealistic Belief:
Cravings are constant.
Realistic Alternative:
Cravings are time limited. They will pass.

Unrealistic Belief:
Cravings force one to use or act.
Realistic Alternative:
I choose to act on the craving. There are many urges I do not act on and I can resist any urge, no matter how strong it is.

Unrealistic Belief:
I'll go crazy if I don't give in.
Realistic Alternative:
I haven't yet and won't. Actually, I will be more emotionally and physically healthy by learning to resist urges.

Emotional eating is largely a learned behavior and CAN be unlearned. It just takes some perserverance and some willingness to do the work. It also requires that we be adults for ourselves and be willing to experience some momentary discomfort when we don't give in to our cravings. Every time we are successful at doing this we realize that we are actually much stronger than we think we are. At the same time we need to be working on issues contributing to our wanting to eat emotionally (is our life working the way we'd like it to? do we need to develop more effective and healthier coping skills?) so that we aren't always having to "white knuckle" it and so that we can reach a place of having a comfortable, balanced relationship with food.

I hope this helps. I do know that conquering (or at the very least succesfully managing) emotional eating IS possible. I know that if I (a former compulsive overeater and junk food addict) can do it, ANYONE can. :-)

All the best,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

dreamrawalwz
02-20-2007, 08:10 PM
Thank you so much for posting this!

RawFoodieMom
02-20-2007, 08:58 PM
chilove, some great points!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I've been thinking about this issue too, because it's something I struggle with.

I think another key point besides recognizing our false beliefs, and alternatives to those beliefs, is thinking about what we can do INSTEAD, when we're experiencing a time where we're feeling emotional about something and don't want to turn to cook food. Besides resisting, and realizing that it's something we can overcome without giving in to the craving for cooked food, what do we do instead? We need to replace the action of turning to cooked food with another action.... I haven't figured out yet what that would be for me...

sweet pepper
02-20-2007, 11:17 PM
Thanks so much. I am starting once again and this time I am going to DEAL with the emotional ups and downs. I struggle with this so much and I do it so unconsciously, I mean, I slip before I even think about it. I think I am going to be better on guard this time around.

Thanks again for the great post!

Sweet Pepper

raw-siobhan
02-21-2007, 12:05 AM
I desperately want to find that alternative pleasurable thing to do other than eat. Seriously, I cannot think of any other single thing that brings me relief other than eating. It is my reward for making it through the day, etcetera, etcetera. Makes me so mad...I want to find something to replace the emotional eating...I just dont know what it could be....

chilove
02-21-2007, 12:32 PM
Siobahn,

Here are some suggestions, but like you said, you need to find the activities that are meaningful and effective for you!!

talk to a counselor or trusted friend/family member
journal
take baths
cry
scream
play with pets/animals
get a massage
give yourself a foot rub
ask someone for a hug
give yourself a hug
get on the floor and do some yoga/stretches
get on the floor and do some exercises
go for a walk
meditate/do some deep breathing
put on music that you love and dance around the house
play with a child


The possibilities are endless!!! Love yourself! :-)

All the best,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

theresaann
02-21-2007, 01:39 PM
thanks for posting that, Audrey! So helpful.

One thing I do is first of all, remind myself, like you said, that in a minute or two this craving is going to pass, then visualize WHY I want to be raw, and BE that person-act as if I AM that person-just choose to be that, and the craving ALWAYS passes. if there is an emotion coming up that I am trying to avoid, I look at it, and forgive myself for making up the beliefs that are creating it, and go back to acting how I WANT to be.

Thanks for starting this thread...:)

rawOrchid
02-21-2007, 01:54 PM
This is great Audrey!

Your advice is wonderful...

Like others have mentioned, its important to RECOGNIZE the craving, and its as important to REPLACE it with a new positive thought, an acceptance of the situation, and even better, an activity that makes YOU feel good.

This happens often to me for chocolate (man oh man.... why is it always chocolate?!?!) and I can most often be free from this temptation by reaffirming my reasons for the lifestyle... Writing, I believe was also mentioned as a way of dealing with the cravings. IT works... POUR OUT YOUR SOUL... you'll get the answers to anything!

lil fairy z girl
02-21-2007, 01:56 PM
thank you for your post and the list of other things to do. thank you for your helpful information,

best wishes
sal
~*~*~*

goodbeets
02-21-2007, 02:41 PM
Dear Chilove, thank you for that great bit of therapy. I have been thinking a lot about what you have written and how long eating for reasons other than hunger has been habitual in my life, my routine. I am hearing all these excuses come up from myself about why I continue with these habits that do not serve me in the long run, then I thought , "Heck, it's like some kind of peer pressure, I am my own peer pressure!! I am going to hang out with some much healthier peers!! Luckily they are already within me!" LOL

elfinbaby
02-21-2007, 03:52 PM
Thanks for posting this chilove. It's wonderful and just when I needed it most:)

April

aimsee
02-21-2007, 08:30 PM
I desperately want to find that alternative pleasurable thing to do other than eat. Seriously, I cannot think of any other single thing that brings me relief other than eating. It is my reward for making it through the day, etcetera, etcetera. Makes me so mad...I want to find something to replace the emotional eating...I just dont know what it could be....

hey there raw-siobhan... I COMPLETELY understand what you mean! Is there anything you would like to do as it relates to a hobby? Or maybe a creative idea or passion you've not pursued because food is your reward? For me personally, I am going to try to "reward" myself by pursuing art... it's something I have always wanted to do & I know I will feel better about myself in both areas if I can focus those feelings into a drawing or painting :)

You'll find it! Hang in there!!!!!!!!!

raw-siobhan
02-21-2007, 08:57 PM
Wow guys! Those were awesome ideas. I love them. :)

chi-iris-73
02-22-2007, 12:48 PM
I am a very emotional eater..

That's why I make lots and lots of nice stuff so when I get a craving,atleast then it's healthy...

Like chips and cookies and fruit leathers.

Sometimes I eat a whole pot ,but hey,it's fruit,not M&M's....

I am the only one that eats raw,I have a partner and 2 kids...so it's really hard for me sometimes....

And I sometimes eat the same as they do,but I get stronger,because the satisfaction is not as good anymore now I know that I "deserve better"


Iris.

sherahtaylor
02-22-2007, 01:03 PM
I've always used food as something that I look forward to. As a busy mommy of five kiddos ages 7 & under, there isn't much time to do anything for myself during the day. So my day consists mostly of tending to others' needs, cleaning house, etc - but there are four things I REALLY enjoy that I look forward to and engage in when I'm able to.

Surfing the internet
Eating
Watching a good movie
Reading a good book

So eating used to be my main #1. I'd wait until the kids were in bed, then enjoy my "insert favorite comfort food here" and I would look forward to that ALL day. Eventually it became a habit and that was hard to break. We don't have TV, so I subscribed to Netflix and rent the different shows that I love. I watch one or two episodes at night now, or a good movie, and THAT is what I look forward to. I make sure there is something yummy to munch on like RP's brownies, raw pistachios, etc - and that has replaced my eating habit.

Another thing that I learned recently during my 38 day Master Cleanse, is that when I completely switch gears in my head and do not even allow myself to think about, imagine eating, contemplate how it would taste, whatever - the thing I'm craving, then it passes much faster. While on the cleanse, I wasn't able to eat ANYTHING so the choice was absolutely not there. I of course could have allowed myself to salivate, to think about and wish I could take a bite - but that would have been needless torture.

So I'm applying the same principle to eating raw, and we'll see ... it's working so far. Also I think the key is alot of greens - they really help keep my cravings to a minimum.

chi-iris-73
02-23-2007, 04:29 AM
I seem to be more busy making/preparing and thinking about food then eating it:confused:


When I make a huge amount to put in my empty coconut oil bottles,I think it just looks so fantastic that I don't want to eat to much,a fuller bottle looks better haha...

I have a beautiful set of bottles and I am getting more and more...

Iris.

learningrawways
02-23-2007, 08:56 AM
I have found that I eat when I am bored and not even hungry, but I want to chew on something. Most times I want to eat potato chips or fritos or something crunchy. I end up eating pretzels because they are the lesser of 2 evils but I would like to stop eating them but it's so hard. Sometimes I think the snack food is replacing smoking ( haven't had a cig since the day of my heart attack 1 1/2 yrs ago) but I also snack when I am reading. lol. I have done this for years and especially when I am in bed at night. I would really look forward to going in bed, reading a book and snacking on candy, potato chips or whatever it was I had to snack on while engrossed in a book. Since I have been eating raw, I still eat those pretzels but they are not juicy like raw veggies but I still eat them. The last few weeks, I will eat an apple which is crunchy, juicy, sweet & delicious while reading and so far so good but I think I would like to be able to read without eating at night. And last night I eat a stalk of celery. I am hoping to get off the junk food. It is hard though because of the cravings. Thanks for starting this thread.

Rawkinlocs
02-23-2007, 09:06 AM
I really love this post Audrey! Thank you! :)

chilove
02-23-2007, 12:28 PM
Great ideas guys!! Keep 'em coming! :-)

I agree that finding raw favorites and developing them as new comfort foods is a great strategy for the times when other techniques to avoid eating are just not going to cut it. One of my favorite comfort foods when I first went raw was a delicious smoothie/milkshake that ALWAYS worked to combat a cooked food craving. Here it is:

the water and flesh from one thai coconut
4 or 5 frozen bananas
a handful of almonds or a couple of tablespoons of almond butter

This is so incredibley sweet and creamy and delicious!! You can add raw carob powder to make it chocolatey or fresh vanilla to make it a vanilla milkshake.


Sherah, I totally agree with you that it is imperative not to indulge in cooked food fantasizing!!! It makes withstanding the craving a million times harder if you start imagining how it will taste, feel, etc.... Don't even go there. Do whatever you have to do to "change the channel" and get your thoughts going in another direction. I discovered that for me getting up and moving to another location and doing something that occupied my body and mind (often some type of exercise) seemed to help the most.

Blessings,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

PreciousLight
02-23-2007, 01:01 PM
Excellent Post Chilove! Very true, Very Real, I will be thinking on this one for some time!
Thank you very much!

luna99
02-23-2007, 01:02 PM
I LOVE this thread!!

thank you soooo much!