kailaniece
02-16-2007, 04:55 PM
Hello all,
I'm a 26-year old african american professional musician/graduate student who loves to dance (salsa, ballroom, arg. tango), travels the world whenever possible, and has always cared very much about being healthy. The problem is, caring about being healthy and actually diligently taking the proper steps toward your goal are two different avenues. I like to call myself officially addicted to diets (I hate addiction). I have defined myself as either off or on a diet since I was 12 years old, and before that food was always on my mind. I remember one day when I was around 8 or 9 sitting on the floor at home in a one piece bathing suit, eating a bag of doritos (actually i think i was licking off the cheese because i didn't like the chips, gross and TMI, i know), and my mother said to me "you know if you keep eating those doritos you're going to get fat". Funny the things that stick with you. I mean, I was never really skinny or fat until I started getting into dieting. I thought I was fat but looking back at photos I was just average. I was a vegetarian from age 12-14 thanks to a wager that I couldn't last a month, but I still ate lots of fatty stuff.
The summer of 95, I was 15, I got a gym membershhip and really started working out seriously. Thus began my first bout of being really ON a diet. As soon as the school year began again I found it very difficult to keep up and gradually went back to my old habits. Plus my friends and I (with our unbeatable young metabolisms and newly found freedom at lunchtime) ate out everyday at Wendys, Port of Subs, or Taco Bell (ick!). From that point on my life was a wave of diets from atkins to low-fat to dangerous eating habits to my favorite, the purple jello and rice diet. Every time I would lose weight I'd gain it back because "something" would happen or I'd just start to allow myself a little here and there until I was right back to square one.
Two years ago I spent WAY TOO MUCH money on a program that actually melted about 60 lbs. from my body with rigorous exercise and diet and supplements in about 4 months (210-150). Everything was going great until I injured myself and gained back about 30 lbs.. I remember being so excited about the prospect of actually acheiving my goal of 120 lbs...... it was really hard to get back knowing how hard it was to lose those pounds and I'd have to do it all again...
Which brings us to today. I'm a vegetarian (with occasional slips). I don't eat fast food (haven't been to McNasty in at least a year). I began eating about 95% raw (can't kick the cheese habit yet-it is raw cheese-, but working on it) on Tuesday February 13 and had been preparing for it by adding more veggies, having "last chance meals", and cleaning out my cabinets for about 2 weeks. I've lost 5 pounds, my skin cleared, and have lots of energy. Currently I suffer from dry skin, excessive weight, head pressure, anxiety attacks with chest pain and pressure, recent frequest yeast infections and utis, and feelings or hopelessness at times. The hoplessness is disappearing and while I still feel some of these symptoms I feel like my body is already changing. I know how good it feels to be full of fresh foods, but I think my body is not sure whether to trust that I'm going to keep it up for good this time.
My current goals in addition to healing my diet-ravaged body are to further my career as a performer (violist-solo, chamber, orchestral), reignite my passion to be an amazing salsa dancer with the body to do it, create a life that is full of light happiness and love.
I wish everyone luck in their journeys! I apologize for being so long winded and scattered :-)
I'm a 26-year old african american professional musician/graduate student who loves to dance (salsa, ballroom, arg. tango), travels the world whenever possible, and has always cared very much about being healthy. The problem is, caring about being healthy and actually diligently taking the proper steps toward your goal are two different avenues. I like to call myself officially addicted to diets (I hate addiction). I have defined myself as either off or on a diet since I was 12 years old, and before that food was always on my mind. I remember one day when I was around 8 or 9 sitting on the floor at home in a one piece bathing suit, eating a bag of doritos (actually i think i was licking off the cheese because i didn't like the chips, gross and TMI, i know), and my mother said to me "you know if you keep eating those doritos you're going to get fat". Funny the things that stick with you. I mean, I was never really skinny or fat until I started getting into dieting. I thought I was fat but looking back at photos I was just average. I was a vegetarian from age 12-14 thanks to a wager that I couldn't last a month, but I still ate lots of fatty stuff.
The summer of 95, I was 15, I got a gym membershhip and really started working out seriously. Thus began my first bout of being really ON a diet. As soon as the school year began again I found it very difficult to keep up and gradually went back to my old habits. Plus my friends and I (with our unbeatable young metabolisms and newly found freedom at lunchtime) ate out everyday at Wendys, Port of Subs, or Taco Bell (ick!). From that point on my life was a wave of diets from atkins to low-fat to dangerous eating habits to my favorite, the purple jello and rice diet. Every time I would lose weight I'd gain it back because "something" would happen or I'd just start to allow myself a little here and there until I was right back to square one.
Two years ago I spent WAY TOO MUCH money on a program that actually melted about 60 lbs. from my body with rigorous exercise and diet and supplements in about 4 months (210-150). Everything was going great until I injured myself and gained back about 30 lbs.. I remember being so excited about the prospect of actually acheiving my goal of 120 lbs...... it was really hard to get back knowing how hard it was to lose those pounds and I'd have to do it all again...
Which brings us to today. I'm a vegetarian (with occasional slips). I don't eat fast food (haven't been to McNasty in at least a year). I began eating about 95% raw (can't kick the cheese habit yet-it is raw cheese-, but working on it) on Tuesday February 13 and had been preparing for it by adding more veggies, having "last chance meals", and cleaning out my cabinets for about 2 weeks. I've lost 5 pounds, my skin cleared, and have lots of energy. Currently I suffer from dry skin, excessive weight, head pressure, anxiety attacks with chest pain and pressure, recent frequest yeast infections and utis, and feelings or hopelessness at times. The hoplessness is disappearing and while I still feel some of these symptoms I feel like my body is already changing. I know how good it feels to be full of fresh foods, but I think my body is not sure whether to trust that I'm going to keep it up for good this time.
My current goals in addition to healing my diet-ravaged body are to further my career as a performer (violist-solo, chamber, orchestral), reignite my passion to be an amazing salsa dancer with the body to do it, create a life that is full of light happiness and love.
I wish everyone luck in their journeys! I apologize for being so long winded and scattered :-)