Day 17 and husband begging me to stop

[muse]

He doesn't care what I eat, as long as he gets his wife back. My skin is clear, eyes are clear, weight falling off, lots of energy. But I'm rageful. I hate everyone around me. It doesn't help to eat, the feelings continue. It's been this way for at least a week now. No, not that time of the month or PMS.

When I read that long term raw foodists like Storm, after decades STILL crave foods deeply, painfully, I'm wondering what I'm setting myself up for here. Why would it be different for me? Thinking positive, fully believing in what I'm doing but if people who have been living this way for years and years continue to struggle so hard and desperately crave what they know to be 'poison' what kind of life is that?

[Apasaraw]

I'd guess one of two things if it were me.

1. A food reaction to something. (Corn turns me into a demon...I kid you not)
Is there something you are eating that makes it happen soon after?

2. You are feeling alot of new feelings for the first time in awhile and don't know where to channel the anger/fear that is welling up.

If you think it's based in something you harbor anger about, try writing (with a real pen/pencil and paper) and see if anything comes up. Being raw means more than the food and the good things that happen physically...it really brings on emotional things that are ready to come up and heal.

"I remember...."
"I am angry because...."
"I am afraid because..."

In the meantime, I send you good thoughts...dig into yourself and find it so you can begin to purge it.

:)

[Rawkinlocs]

Muse,

When you begin to eat a cleaner diet, not only do we detox physically, but emotionally as well. See, a lot of us used food...comfort foods amongst other things (some use alcohol, drugs, etc.) to numb ourselves and stuff down our emotions and our feelings. With raw foods, you really can't do that...there is nothing to numb you like cooked food (and other things) can oftentimes do so things will surface.

It won't last forever if you can believe that but you DO have to kinda come to terms with the deep-seated source and root of the emotions in order to deal with them.

Many do things such as meditation or prayer or yoga or whatever to aid in accomplishing this and bring peace and relaxation.

As for having "painful" cravings for a lifetime...that is NOT every long-term raw fooders experience. You cannot go on someone else's experiences, only your own.

But if the feelings you are expressing are taking a major toll on your life, your marriage, and your relationships with loved ones then you could transition more gradually into this if you feel that's what you need to do. But at some point these things WILL have to surface and be dealt with in order to be able to get past it.

[goodbeets]

Is it possible to go away for a few days so you can get the rage out and not freak out your husband?

There is also a technique called "tapping cure", EFT, that I have found very helpful. I agree with Rawkinlocs, if you have been "stuffing' emotions, letting them up and letting them go is very important. Finding a way that helps you work through it will channel your feelings constructively.

I understand what you mean about "what am I getting myself into", well, you ARE getting yourself into a vibrancy like never before. Since going raw, there have been times when I have eaten cooked food, I notice how much harder it is on my body compared to living foods. Something I had never noticed before. I really like feeling vibrant. YOu will do what is best for you no matter what.

[rawpriestess]

this is emotional detox, and isn't pretty for sure.

I know, I've been there, both on the giving and the receiving end, with ex - boyfriends, who attempted to quit drinking. UGH!!

anyway, I understand where you are, it is the most difficult thing in the world to NOT be mean, and yet, you MUST get this out of your system,

I'd say go away for a while, that is why raw retreats are so great, I used to think they were a waste of time, but now I think they can really help people, get out of their old environment and into a new place, mentally, physcially and emotionally, and the people there, already are familiar with what you are going through, so they know how to cope and deal with it,

it's just like any kind of rehab, it's not just keeping you off your addiction of choice, it's going through your pain to release the CAUSE, the reason you wish to numb out in the first place.

so, I'd say get away, and if you can't get away, prepare to live alone,

harsh reality -- I know, -- but to be fore warned it to be fore armed!

I was a massive monster WITCH you may change the first letter of the previous word for anyone that fits. LOL

[merfie]

i agree with everyone about going away for a few days, remember you are human, we have rough spots, it makes us better humans on the other side of it. remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and no, it's not a train!

it is definitely an emotional release and anger and rage are connected to the liver and gallbladder, which is what you are most definitely cleaning out!

my boss is a very angry woman, and though she is trying to heal and becoming aware of certain issues, i am begging her NOT to do a liver detox until off season, when we are not around...lol.

my suggestion, look at alternative healing techniques where you could be in a safe place with a trained and caring facilitator to help you move through some of this. Raindrop Therapy, Emotional Release, PsychK, accupuncture, massage, chiropractic (SOC), hydrotherapy, there were a few more mentioned above. take a bath everyday and imagine releasing through the water. and of course, drink lots of water.

the best of life, meredith

[Apasaraw]

Goodbeets that tapping cure really works...

Sometimes called thought field therapy (TFT) too...I know someone who was released from some heavy stuff in minutes. Salma Hayek was cured of her fear of snakes in one 5 minute session. Astounding...what does EFT mean?

[lodestar]

great advice from a whole lot of experience above...

this is how it is working for me. four months totally raw--my third attempt.
on Monday i was having a meltdown of raw desire. here i had been through some major holidays--cooking but never eating cooked food. then out of the "seemingly" blue i was reaching for five Cheerios left on the counter as i was cleaning up after breakfast. what's up with that? here i have been turning away from amazing favorite cooked food and I was ready to collapse over a few crunchy Cheerios.
Well, i took myself to my bedroom and gave it a good long thought. This is what I came up with.
I was recently injured while skiing. and even though i was physically full--i was still reaching for comfort, numbing, sedation, mouth-feel,--heck, i was just plain empty. now recognizing this was a huge step in the right direction. it was like aaahaaa. so, will i be raw forever. i don't even go there. i just want to be raw today and that feels right to me.
Gee, i hope this helps.

[aenea]

a raw retreat sounds wonderful, do those happen a lot?

[jaurequi]

He doesn't care what I eat, as long as he gets his wife back. My skin is clear, eyes are clear, weight falling off, lots of energy. But I'm rageful. I hate everyone around me. It doesn't help to eat, the feelings continue. It's been this way for at least a week now. No, not that time of the month or PMS.

When I read that long term raw foodists like Storm, after decades STILL crave foods deeply, painfully, I'm wondering what I'm setting myself up for here. Why would it be different for me? Thinking positive, fully believing in what I'm doing but if people who have been living this way for years and years continue to struggle so hard and desperately crave what they know to be 'poison' what kind of life is that?

Wow, really? Storm has painful cravings? I'm surprised by that.

Honestly, muse,I think these issues are things buried deep within you; one doesn't suddenly develop a rage. Rage is a slow-growing, usually pushing down of emotions that eventually explodes. That it coincides with a drastic change in your life is not surprising; however, raw is not the cause or reason. It may be a vehicle which spurred it; but it is not the cause. Doing away with raw would be very sad and a step in the wrong direction, or a step back, as it were.

I would deal with the underlying issues; get professional help, if you need it. And keep eating well. The detoxification is best gotten out of the way as soon as possible; you do not want to have to start all over again and prolong it.

If it helps any, I've been 100% raw and I have absolutely no cravings, and, in fact, never had after going raw. For others, if takes a while, but I think they would get over them if they stay on the 100% path (or the percentage which facilitates this for them, which is an individual thing). I suppose there are those who will battle, as in Storm's case...perhaps you are not one of those.

Best,

[D'vorah]

Here's an article that has been helpful for me:

http://www.rawgosia.com/articles/bryan_yamamoto.html

I've also used EFT with some success.

But more significant in my journey has been the book The Pathway. For me, the book changed how I viewed my emotional responses to life. I knew it was the key for finding balance and integration and joy in my life. But the book alone wasn't enough, I've also used kits from the author that guide me through exercises that re-balance the way I feel my feelings and establish my expectations of life in a realistic manner.

http://www.thepathway.org/

If you want more, I'll share more,

Deborah

[aubrey]

Muse,

So sorry to hear about your difficulty! I know how you feel...when I first went raw a couple years ago, I cried a lot. This time, I realized what was happening and I spent a lot of time in yoga meditation trying to figure out why I was so sad...

I came to the conclusion that for years, I have been hiding behind my chronic illnesses. I would blame all the things I didn't like about myself on my illness. It was the perfect excuse, and it was way easier than confronting the nastiness within myself and going through the effort to change. Now that I am raw, I have begun the healing process by apologizing, cleaning out my house, and by becoming personally accountable for the things that I don't like about myself. Its so very painful, and it takes a lot of effort and courage to work through the emotional toxins.

I keep two quotes in my mind: "Be the change you want to see in the world" ~ Ghandi, and "A thousand petal lotus grows out of the muddiest waters...breathe through the sticky stuff." ~ Rainbeau Mars.

Eating raw forces us to inspect our lives and get rid of things that no longer serve us. I found cleaning out my house therapeutic...I sold, donated, threw away, and recycled anything I had not used in the past year. It felt awesome...a simple solution that could have a big impact.

Another thing I have personally noticed is that I am super sensitive to chemicals now. I can't use my same laundry detergent...I get a rash. I have to switch to organic shampoos, soaps, deoderants, and cleaning products. Not a bad thing! But the more synthetic stuff I come into contact, the more I become aware of how it has affected me. I also stopped putting anything on my skin that I couldn't put in my mouth. So now I moisturize with coconut oil. You might consider that, too...your body is repairing and becoming so healthy, but are there other toxins that are having an effect?

Best of luck... :o

[muse]

Now that I am raw, I have begun the healing process by apologizing, cleaning out my house, and by becoming personally accountable for the things that I don't like about myself. Its so very painful, and it takes a lot of effort and courage to work through the emotional toxins.


I really appreciate where you're coming from, or where at least, I understand you to be.

But I keep going back to Abraham (www.abraham-hicks.com) as well as The Secret, The Work (www.thework.com), Anthony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, and host of other teachers who try very hard to awaken the masses that one should absolutely not 'focus on reality' or dig deep into pain from the past (or present, for that matter). Whatever one focuses upon, increases. Looking at what one doesn't like about oneself increases the opportunities to experience that pain, and find new things one doesn't like about oneself. There is no way to say 'no' to anything in life, truly, for there is only 'yes' in terms or whatever one focuses on, even to say, 'I don't like that/want that' means a 'yes' to the Universe. It's included in one's vibration (whenever one focuses on anything).

So whilst I've been in that place of 'cleaning out' emotionally and taking 'accountability' whether it was 12-step (including making 'right' things from the past), or tons of alternative and traditional therapies, I think that approach isn't for me any longer.

But I do sincerely appreciate every post in this thread and the advice, encouragement therein. It isn't fair to assume that Storm's stuggles to stay raw will be mine. If I'm experiencing rage, it might have nothing to do with raw, you're right. It may just mean I've 'pinched off Source pretty good' and i need to adjust my vibration to joy and where I'm going, what my desires and dreams are. My husband is having a strong reaction to what he sees, and trying to figure out, bless him, what on earth changed and he feels that my mental stability took a serious downturn about the second day I went raw. He is worried and I know he loves me, wants me to be a good mom to our three little ones, including a near round-the-clock nursling.

Thank you everyone for your words. I read through your posts slowly and your kindess is so evident!!

[muse]

...what does EFT mean?

I think it's Emotional Freedom Technique.

[chilove]

I agree, this sounds like emotional detox. Stick with it. It will pass. I'm 100% raw and have been for about 2.5 years and don't have "painful" cravings for cooked food. I know other long term raw fooders who don't also. You can do this!!! It will get better! :-)

All the best,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

[Nimmanu]

EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique

Learn how to do it by downloading the free pdf file from the site of the man who discovered it: www.emofree.com

[Sharon in Colorado]

I can't speak for Storm, but knowing where he'd be if he weren't on his present path (dead from disease like all his relatives, probably), I think he'd take the ocassional cooked craving over that anyday.

It is a trade-off - you can have some emotional & physical detox, some cravings, etc. OR you can continue down the road you were on, with whatever ailments and weight issues you have had. It is your choice.

Do what feels right, for YOU.

[Svadhyaya]

Emotional detox is real, and strange, and difficult. But it passes. My first experience with it I literally thought I was going crazy!

Spend some time alone to think about what's happening in your mind and heart right now. Are you resentful that your husband is eating stuff that you "can't have" and, as a consequence, do you abuse him for it? Make sure that you weigh the pros and cons of raw (and, yes, I believe there are cons) and make the best decision for yourself.

The above reasons are why I'm not 100% raw. I have tendencies toward depression and feeling deprived makes it worse. It also makes me resentful and mean. I stay rawer and happier when I allow myself a taste of something cooked now and then. Whenever I try to draw a line in the sand and say "no more" I always end up in a resentful, binging, screw-everything state.

Everyone says there's a world of difference even between 99% and 100% raw, and I'd like someday to experience that for myself. But for now I'm really happy with my progress and will only move forward at a pace that doesn't make me nuts.

Best of luck to you!

[LovingLife]

Hi Muse -- I'm so sorry for what you're going through -- and first I want to congratulate you on your 17 days! That's wonderful!!!

I don't want to oversimplify the answer to your problem, but are you drinking any young coconut juice? I swear by it for lifting me out of any funk - - I actually call it my "happy juice" because it helps me through any rough spot in a day.

As for food cravings, the most I've heard about longtime raw foodists having them is the Boutenko family 6 years into being raw. Victoria writes about this in her green smoothie book "Green for Life" (she talks about it on her podcast at www.veganradio.com too) -- she said that once she started eating enough greens, her cravings left. So maybe eating more greens would help too.

One of my favorite benefits of eating raw is how emotionally blissful I feel so much of the time. Wish I could pass that along to you!

[aubrey]

:) Muse, your approach is so positive and wonderful!

I have implemented a new regimen...each night before I go to bed, I say thanks for ten things. Last night, it dawned on me that there are a lot of unlikely things I should be thanking the universe for...things that are less obvious. I had a terrible day yesterday. I'm not getting along with a couple people in my life anymore...I realized that I can't just go along to get along sometimes when it no longer feels right. I got yelled at in a very public way yesterday, and embarrassment ensued for me (when in fact, she probably embarrassed herself more...). I cried, and felt hurt. But then I realized that this was an opportunity! I thanked the universe for the adversity it had brought me that day. I was thankful for it because that same adversity was an opportunity to try and begin to practice more fully compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. Instead of focusing on the pain, I acknowledged it, and then sought immediately to forgive. I was more aware that the reason for the adversity probably stemmed from her pain, and I was compassionate of that, and I sent warmth to her, and wished her all the best, even if I could no longer surround myself with her anymore.

That's what I meant...it was hard at first, but its getting so much easier. I suppose its finding the silver lining in everything, no matter how rough or difficult. Only you can know your own path and what honors you...best wishes in getting there, and I hope that raw is a tool that can help!

[JEN]

Muse I think that by eating raw you will only vibrate higher. If everything vibrates at a speed then surely an apple vibrates much higher than a burger because its still living. Thoughts anyone :confused:

[theresaann]

I also think that what people close to us are saying subconsciously when they give us a hard time about raw is "please stop raising your vibration, because I'm afraid to raise mine, and if you don't stop, I'm afraid I'll lose you". which is what CAN happen sometimes. I know that's a side effect of going raw that probably keeps people from staying raw, is the impact it's going to have on relationships. It sort of exposes where there are aspects that are not very healthy, and then we have to change-that can be hard.

But if we DON'T follow our own higher truth, life becomes unbearable, at least to me...seems to me all we can do is just love people and offer support for them to overcome their own emotional resistance to raising their vibration.

[Apasaraw]

Thanks for the EFT link Nimmanu.

I found this with the link you posted, which helped me understand. TFT is similar but not exactly the same as EFT...

Muse I appreciate where you're coming from in wanting to be more positive and not attract anymore "stuff"...hope you're feeling better too!



A Frequently Asked Question & Answer about EFT
How does EFT differ from Thought Field Therapy (TFT)?

TFT uses similar principles as EFT but asks the student to learn 10 or 15 different tapping routines (called algorithms), each of which is designed to cover a specific issue such as trauma, phobias, depression, etc . Anything not covered by those individual routines (e.g. insomnia, TMJ, dyslexia, etc.) requires a diagnostic process. EFT, by contrast, uses only one comprehensive tapping routine to cover all issues (not just 10 or 15) and doesn't require diagnosis. A more thorough treatment of the EFT/TFT comparison is covered in The scientific evolution of EFT from TFT.

[RawNurse]

Hello Muse,

I am in a similar situation where my husband is not a raw foodist and we have kids, although the similarities stop there. I didn't go through the strong emotional bouts until I started using Dr. Schulze's colon cleanse formula #1. I was repressing every emotion in my colon (the organ that is responsible for repressed emotions) and with each passing day I saw a change.

Since you are eating things (Fiber) that is forcing your colon to clean itself and repair itself, you are in effect doing what Aubrey did with her literal house and getting rid of the clutter. You, in time, will find your BMs will take on different, and sometimes strange, charactoristics. You will be surprised on what you produce (i.e. different colors, textures, even intermixed pieces os unidentifiable clumps) with each passing day.

If you are a passive-agressive person like me, it may take some time for everything to even itself out. Like jaurequi stated, it is all about being self-aware. And I agree that once you begin cleaning yourself out you will be more sensitive to things. That includes the energy put forward by other people.

I hope your journey carries you to the place you want to be in the swiftest mannor possible, with the least amount of friction.

Take care of you:D)
Janet

[ilovebanannas]

I havent been 100% very long, but I know exactly what you are feeling. I feel great, good things are happening to my body but I do feel the same...a lot actually. What I do....and this is just my way of coping. I use Transendental Meditation. Any form I think is good. When I am having a hard day, or just feeling like I want to rip someones head off, I take about ten minuets or so, and meditate. this takes those strong feelings away and allows me to be more realistic.
I think this is a good thing to do on a regular basis because it keeps me inline. I try for twice a day, that isnt always possible. It really helps me stay on track with all things in my life.
Also, exercise helps me too...stay on the diet and releases good endorphens. Good luck!

[muse]

Muse I think that by eating raw you will only vibrate higher. If everything vibrates at a speed then surely an apple vibrates much higher than a burger because its still living. Thoughts anyone :confused:

ITA. Anyone remember the jamba juice adverts (not that I'd get anything but a wheatgrass there, frankly)? A picture of a hamburger 'thinking', 'I wish I felt healthy'. Or a doughnut thinking the same thing.

I've stayed with raw, still experiencing tremendous physical benefits. I love that. That is a revolution in and of itself, truly. I kept staring at my face in windows today, because like so many raw foodists say, the features change SO much! Not just whites of eyes, but the whole face changes. Miraculous!

I've also found some solace in reading other long term raw foodists writing, like Shazzie who says her emotions were all over the place for a long time. I've already mentioned Storm and his struggles, longing for cooked foods. So I know I'm not alone in this, as others have mentioned, too, in this thread.

I absolutely must have energy for all I have to do everyday with children and everything else. Only raw gives me that (and more). The other ways I tried (more sleep, caffiene, 'healthy' eating, therapy, 'more me-time', visualisation) just never helped. So for very practical reasons, I stay raw. Can't have mama needing a nap after breakfast! :-)

[upstate ny]

These emotions remind me of when my best friend has gastric bypass surgery and lost 150 lbs. - she and her husband had marital issues because she went through so many changes. Obviously eating raw is different as it is a much healthier and more natural way of change but the similarities are that whatever issues that were being stuffed by an unhealthy relationship with food are still there when the food issues are resolved.
I am moved by the support on the site. What a resource to us all.

[Guydiane]

are you talking about Storm Talifero? I have never heard him say he has a disire or craving for cooked food I have read Jinjee say that she has when she first started. Thay are a great couple they do a raw retreat on a sail boat. Off of Ventura Ca. You can check out there site at http://www.thegardendiet.com/. but i hope that you are doing better. Just remember every one of us are different and react to things in different ways.

[muse]

are you talking about Storm Talifero? I have never heard him say he has a disire or craving for cooked food

Yes, Love.

From his blog, dated December 2006:

Storm's Web Log - Raw Vegan Forever

Blogdate 12/18/06

The Downside of the Raw Vegan Diet


But now after over thirty years I find myself besieged on all sides by intolerable food and drug cravings. I'm experiencing a level of agony that I never experienced up until now. When I first started I never experienced what is commonly known as detox. It did take a certain amount of discipline to change life long eating habits. But right from the start I was so excited by the incredible results until I was just swept away by the momentum of the discovery of a new frontier.


But now as I enter into new levels of consciousness through the long term effects of the reversals of accumulated waste and toxins, I'm finding that my ability to manage my energy levels in relation to my energy levels are not in sync. I think that this will happen to every single person who attempts to do the raw vegan diet long term. Eventually you will be confronted by the wall.


What happens when we reach the wall is that we give into a craving. Most people when they come off of doing a 100% raw vegan diet they break it with rice. I think that there are two types of raw vegans. The first type hates the thought of cooked food, can't stand the smell of it and it hurts him/her to be in the room with it. The other type - I include myself in this group - still loves the memory of everything they ever ate, still craves meat, and all manner of cooked foods and junk foods. The second type has the harder journey.

http://www.rawveganforever.com/

I would absolutely agree with Storm, that the raw foodist who 'still loves the memory of everything they ever ate, still craves meat, and all manner of cooked foods and junk foods' (as he says he does), has the harder journey!! Blessings to him, and all of us who are choosing a higher path, despite the 'agony' as he says, of cravings.

[Conscious Midwife]

Just remember Storm continues to maintain his resolve to stay 100% RAW.

If I'm correct his wife Ginjee was also pregnant at this time, actually still pregnant, and she had a few struggling moments herself.

Men experience Couvalde syndrome when their mates are pregnant, compound that with "memories" and all other temptation and one would definately have a battle on their hands.

Adddiction is just what it is ;)

[muse]

I guess when someone like Storm, who has seen and knows a heck of a lot more raw foodists than me, believes ALL raw foodists will hit the wall after eating this way for a long time, it gives me pause.

How long can addiction to cooked foods be a factor when one has been eating raw for 30 years? At a cellular level, if one isn't consuming anything cooked, how would cells 'crave' what hasn't been around for decades? If our entire body does indeed renew itself entirely every seven years, then raw living would only build upon itself, not retrograde into 'agony' craving cooked foods.

[Selena]

Muse: I read somewhere that the memory is on a cellular level in our dna. I can't remember where I read it, or the exact wording.

The best way for me to think about it was that when our mothers (women) are born every egg cell is already in our ovaries. These cells have been fueled by the cooked food our mothers ate, and they have been fueled by the cooked food their mothers ate etc. It's basically the genetic memory of how our ancestor have eaten for so long.

Does that make sense?

[muse]

Yes, that does make sense in some ways. As does something like ultrasounds doing damage to the ovaries of the female fetus, whilst the mother carries her.

I'm wondering then, as Storm asserts, are cravings something to reckon with for all raw foodists? I know the popular line is to add minerals (sea veg, etc) and green leafies, then no more cravings. But surely someone like Storm knows this.

If 30 years of eating 100% raw isn't enough to overcome genetic memory, then that would imply raw eating can't really change the body-mind enough to make raw living easy. If raw food is truly more alive, more powerful than cooked, why would a lineage involving cooked foods prevail to the point of making it so hard for long term raw foodists?

Further if it is true that we are 'meant to be raw', and our long ago ancestors ate raw, far more generations of human evolution have been raw, than cooked. Does the body not have this wealth of ancestry to draw upon?

[Selena]

Wow, I really want to answer your questions, but I'm not sure how to do it :) I think probably someone who knows more than me, would be better at it. Raw Nora comes to mind.

I guess one ting to remember is that humans have been eating cooked foods for thousands of years and it probably took a while to change our genetic memory and therfore will take a while to change it back.

Also I read somewhere (probably the same place, I wish I could remember where it was) that humans started eating cooked food to dealt with food shortage. Probably when we started moving to colder climates as there aren't as many fruits and nuts here, and not for the whole year.

As for being 'meant to be raw' many people, and this is tru for me, find that the idea of going raw makes a lot of intuitive sense to us. Maybe this is our ancestral knowledge?

I don't know if I'm making any sense and there are many people here that know a lot more about raw then me, so maybe they will clarify some things.

[shine72]

Muse - here is my two sense.

Each person is different and experiences raw in a different capacity. I was doing great with no cravings for almost two months now, and now I powerfully crave cooked, hot, Italian food. However, for me, there is a truth I know about myself. I know, from having abstained from cooked food previously, that if I gave in to that craving two things are true:

1. It WOULD NOT taste right and I would actually have to reprogram my tastebuds to enjoy it.
2. I would feel VERY sick after eating it.

Another thing, I would be sabotaging all the progress I've made physically/spiritually/emotionally while being raw, just for a few minutes of supposed happiness. Now, WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?!:confused:

Answer being, I wouldn't. I know raw works for me. I feel it in ways I can't even begin to put into words right now.

You have to find what works for you. Each of us does. My prayers are with you as you do this, because I do understand that it can be extremely challenging at times. But I do pray that you find your way on this journey.

Sunshine :D