lunch date and a little worried.....

[salsababy]

I know this may sound odd but I just got asked out on a date (for lunch or dinner) and I am a little confused on how to approach the "food topic". It's not like I know him that well to have him understand where I am coming from and I don't want to make a big issue out of it.

I was thinking of telling him I eat very healthy and anywhere with a good salad is perfect for me. I am not sure how well that would work. Or if I should tell him something different?? Also, I grew up with the logic that "real women DONT eat salads". Evidentally it indicated that either they were uncomfortable eating in front of a man or they had an eating disorder. I am neither. I eat sooo much!!! So, I can only imagine what he would think if I kept ordering JUST salads all the time. How do you explain raw food to someone who doesn't understand in a simple way? :confused:

[MaryWalker]

Unless he brings it up, order your salad, and maybe bring your own dressing too . . . and don't make a big deal out of it. When the subject comes up, tell he the truth -- that you are eating an extremelly healthy diet/lifestyle and it is all vegan live food. Let him ask the questions after that. Don't "should" on him about his diet. Just let him see your excitement about your health and your inner beauty will shine through (as you already have outter beauty!)

[Sharon in Colorado]

Surely he'll ask you what kind food you like if he's a gentleman, and that's when you say you eat mostly fruits and vegetable so anywhere that has fruits and salads is great with you.

Of course if he just makes a reservation without having the courtesy of inquiring your preference, maybe he's a cad or controlling, however you can still get a salad almost anywhere.

I've heard steak houses make pretty good salad, just make sure you ask for an "entree sized" garden salad because most of the entree sized salads in restaurants have all the stuff we can't have.

[luckitri]

Good advise Sharon! I however would not want to label him for not inquiring - after all - I would never ever have thought of this a year ago! If it is totally off the radar screen he won't even know to ask. WE must worry about being labeled as we are so radical to their eyes - so we do not need to do it to them also (don't want to start a war) - although I could feel minds around me starting to rethink today as the news article was about consumption of cloned cows! In years past I have heard people like I have now surpassed (cooked vegans) referred to as "food facists" or "New Age Nazi's". I just eat different and it helps me to feel better than I do when I eat the other food.

Hope this guy is worth all this discussion! LOL!

[Vegan Princess]

I have this problem lately too. Sushi seems to be easy...just order rolls without rice. But I have been sort of putting off dates b/c I don't know how to broach it. Just telling people I was vegan was offputting to them. And I SO loved eating at new and fancy restaurants on dates before I became vegan and raw. It was part of the fun. We'll figure it out! And I guess if a guy thinks we're too wierd and is not accepting than they really aren't right for us anyhow. Whomever I marry needn't eat the way I do, but they must be supportive of my decisions. Good luck! And most importantly, have fun! The date really isn't about the food, afterall.

Cindy

[salsababy]

Good advise Sharon! I however would not want to label him for not inquiring - after all - I would never ever have thought of this a year ago! If it is totally off the radar screen he won't even know to ask. WE must worry about being labeled as we are so radical to their eyes - so we do not need to do it to them also (don't want to start a war) - although I could feel minds around me starting to rethink today as the news article was about consumption of cloned cows! In years past I have heard people like I have now surpassed (cooked vegans) referred to as "food facists" or "New Age Nazi's". I just eat different and it helps me to feel better than I do when I eat the other food.

Hope this guy is worth all this discussion! LOL!

LOL. Well, I don't know if he is worth all this discussion. lol. But most of people on this board seem to be with spouses or significant others who are already aware and informed of their lifestyle change and there is no need to explain yourself. To others, especially someone that might seem interested in knowing you, the type of healty living we practise may be considered "fanatical" or "hardcore". It's easy to say you eat healthy but if you see the person again, they may try to find a place which they assumed was "vegan" or "healthy" trying to please you.

Yes, the cloned animals are insane!!! I bet more people will be looking for vegetarian or vegan products.

[salsababy]

I have this problem lately too. Sushi seems to be easy...just order rolls without rice. But I have been sort of putting off dates b/c I don't know how to broach it. Just telling people I was vegan was offputting to them. And I SO loved eating at new and fancy restaurants on dates before I became vegan and raw. It was part of the fun. We'll figure it out! And I guess if a guy thinks we're too wierd and is not accepting than they really aren't right for us anyhow. Whomever I marry needn't eat the way I do, but they must be supportive of my decisions. Good luck! And most importantly, have fun! The date really isn't about the food, afterall.

Cindy

Yeah! Another single person who feels some of the tension I do. :) It's funny how we say that food is not the most important part of the date, but we put so much emphasis on it. It's easier with friends and family that understand and are okay with how you choose to eat.

I'll have to look at sushi. Thanks!

[Sooboopa]

I remember going on this 'date' to a lovely Italian restaurant. I ate cooked vegetarian and didn't drink alcohol. He thought that was really weird. He asked me why I was vegetarian. I said 'Well, I feel about meat the same way you might feel about offal'. He said 'I love offal'. He was very good looking, but there was no connection at any level. Luckily my boyfriend and I got back together after a 'break-up' and he is vegetarian. (He is sick of me for going on about raw food though and teases me for always checking out raw websites...)

[misslinda]

Surely he'll ask you what kind food you like if he's a gentleman, and that's when you say you eat mostly fruits and vegetable so anywhere that has fruits and salads is great with you.

.


Sharon said it all.

It's really not a big deal but if you order a salad and talk about RAW all night, he might be kinda weirded out :p

[mongomango]

I would just tell him the truth. You eat only raw foods, but most restaurants can accomodate you and leave it at that unless he questions further. As MissLinda said, it might not be wise to go on about the raw lifestyle all night, but imo, the most important thing is that you grow away from any insecurity regarding the issue. Be confident in yourself and your choice of how to live and what to eat. Tell him confidently and matter of factly as if it's no big deal, because it's really not, and move on. I have found that men respect that a lot more and it becomes something that makes them more curious about you and something that makes you unique instead of "weird."

[maryonherway]

Salsababy, I just met a really nice guy last week and as we sat there drinking our herbal tea we got to talking about our health (a common topic, I think, once you hit the big 5-0). I took a chance and told him about how I eat and how it made me feel to eat this way. He listened carefully, and then told me he'd tried being a vegetarian for about 10 yrs, but decide people were meant to eat meat, so he'd gone back to his old way of eating.

A few days later, when he asked me out for a 2nd date (yay!!!) he asked if I'd send him some info about eating raw, which I did, of course. I was shocked, as that was the last thing I'd expected. Now he'd decided that he is going to switch to raw himself!

So, my point is: Don't assume they won't understand or be interested. You just never know who might actually listen to you and not think you're crazy!

Good luck, hope this turns into a nice relationship for you, Salsababy!

[Davylp25]

If the guy likes YOU, and is interested in you ---- telling him will make you appear more exotic and rare. A new breed of WOMAN.

If the guy aint feelin you, well then ****, er uhh....keep the mouth closed...

Use that womanly intuition to gage the situation... smile all in good fun!!

lol

[salsababy]

Thanks you guys. I know we all have our struggles and I have read a many a posts on family situation or spouses. And I am sure there are lurkers reading who may have issues with dating or family commenting on their eating style. My family and friends are supportive of me being raw so I am lucky in that aspect.

Mongomango I think you hit me on the head with a coconut with what you said about insecurity. I am a little hardcore about nutrition (but only for myself, I DON"T preach to others, I may share if they asked). But I am scared that I will be judged for it or that people may find it inconvient to live with (even though I am so easy going about eating out). LOL. I hope my craziness makes me exotic and rare and not just high-maintence. :p

[quotidianlight]

if you are nervous to say something you can just order a garden salad with oil and vineger or oil and lemon on the side.

[paprika]

The best advice for any date is be yourself and be honest. Order a salad and try not to think too much about it, just enjoy your date.

If the food topic does come up, tell him openly that you eat all raw foods and mention some of the other healthy things you may do. If you say "I'm a raw foodist; I eat all raw fruits and vegetables as well as exercising regularly and meditating" it softens the idea of raw food and brings it more into perspective as a whole healthy lifestyle. If you just say "I'm a raw foodist; I don't eat meat or anything that's been cooked", it does sound kind of harsh and extreme to someone who's probably never heard of it before.

[greenfeline]

I just say I prefer fruit and vegetables and leave it at that. People do tend to get weirded out though. Just two days ago I was in my boss' office and a couple of people were going out to a impromptu lunch. Now I do go out to lunches if I know in advance, but otherwise I already have a delicious lunch prepared raw from home, so I declined. Anyways, after seeing me not eat chocolate cake etc... in the office the boss declared "she doesn't eat!" He has seen me eat at luncheons etc.. and he said it with a laugh or whatever but I thought it was rude. I just said real quick, "no, it's just that I already brought my lunch!" Whatever!!

As far as spouses go, my husband and I haven't even discussed raw per se, all he knows is that I eat mostly salad and fruit!!

[trinity082482]

I would order a large salad, water with lemon and something else on top. Something raw and healthy? Maybe raw stuffed peppers if they have them. Maybe if you eat more than 1 thing, it wont be so obvious that your meal is a salad, and if things hit it off I would tell him about your healthy life style :)

[jaurequi]

Maybe you can pick the restaurant. Does it have to be he who chooses?

Choose one which can accomodate you by calling ahead, asking if they can prepare a raw dish for you. When you find one which will (most will), inform the gentleman if said restaurant sounds good to him (which he should agree to...I don't see why he wouldn't), then make the reservations.

Best,