how to switch a pre-teen???

[pattico]

Hi. I have a 12 1/2 yr old daughter. She is 30 lbs. overweight, has ADD (is on Straterra, for now), has major mood swings, has a negative attitude, and we just discovered through blood tests has high uric acid and high levels of testosterone. She is average in school and we try to keep her active with swimming and other various sports throughout the year. She is a kid that will disagree JUST to disagree!!! :mad: I need to say this... I REALLY DO LOVE HER TO PIECES!!! She has many good qualities, too!! Funny, creative, LOVES animals, and is very caring. She is ADDICTED to food and has always been.


I went raw about 7 weeks ago and just the suggestion from me for her to add more raw foods (even though she loves all foods) sends her over the edge (her father, my husband, does not help, he thinks eating this way is soooo ridiculous). When I tell her it will make her healthy, she says she doesn't care...how do you respond to that other than..."well, I do". UGH!!!

I am currently reading THE LIVE FOOD FACTOR and I am convinced most of her "negative" traits can be reversed if I can get her to eat raw. Now let me say this...she is very smart for those of you who might suggest things like...let her decide which foods to choose or how about a smoothie?? I have tried these and it works once, and then she is "on to me"!!!!

I would love any suggestions along with if anyone knows of any good books of suggestions on how to transition someone like her. :confused:

[Sharon in Colorado]

I'd say if you and your husband are in agreement then you decide what's best for her. She's still a child, and is living under your roof. Of course you cannot force feed her but she needs to be respectful of your wishes for her.

I think if you are giving her lots of fresh fruit and salads, etc. that will go over easy for her. Just have a lot of fruit around, and slowly get rid of the stuff you don't want ther to have. Yes, she'll probably cheat at school but if the majority of her meals are at home, eventually her body will start rejecting the bad food.

But from your post, it sounds like you don't have a good support system or maybe there's a lack of communication with your husband. So you may have to be more of a quiet example and happily keep on truckin' while making all the foods available for you daughter.

Also I would work on this "disagreeing just to disagree" subject. From your post it sounds like it's more of a respect issue, than anything else. If she hasn't been trained up to respect her parents, then she's likely to do or act the complete opposite of anything you do or want for her. I see a huge difference between disagreeing just to be ornery and contrary or disagreeing for personal preference.

[lissomllama]

It is her body and her life, no matter how old she is. As soon as became able to make conscious choices and feed and clothe herself, these became her choices and her rights. All you can really do is show her the way and make the info available, Unfortunately she has to hit bottom before she can make the decision to be healthy. But it will take her own realization and decision to be raw. This isn't something you can do for her or make her do.

If you force it she will only learn to hate it. If you simply introduce it and make it more available than other choices, she may become interested one day but most of all, she'll remember that you introduced it with love and happiness rather than forcing it. Children remember these things. It is important. Just keep trying with your own gentle grace and she'll probably come around someday. I know you want only for her happiness but she is her own person with her own choices to make. For now, balance can be achieved here between your lovely raw ways and her not so raw ways. But don't let this change the way YOU live on raw.

Your husband needs to be supporting you though, Even if he doesn't agree with it or do it himself, he loves you and you need his support, like a tree needs the earth. Tell him what you need from him and tell him that putting down your choices in front of your daughter will only make things worse. He can support you both equally.

[luckitri]

My strong-willed son - I just bargained. He wanted his McBurger but he had to drink a huge orange banana smoothie first. Now he can't finish the McBurger! Maybe eventually he will notice how much better he feels but at this time in history Mama can do no good - so bargain it is.

[Sharon in Colorado]

It is her body and her life, no matter how old she is. As soon as became able to make conscious choices and feed and clothe herself, these became her choices and her rights.

Yet she's only 12 years old, a child, who is overweight and is on medication. Her parents need to make the choices, as she is their responsibility.

If kids made all their choices, then they could show up at school meetings and in court themselves. But that simply is not the case. They require parents and/or guardians to take care of them and make sure they are healthy.

Just like parents watch out that children don't leave the house in 20 degree weather without a winter jacket, they need to make sure they are well nourished.

Yes, she could choose the color jacket, or she could choose what color toothbrush she uses, but the parent decides that she uses that jacket and brushes her teeth or CPS will be knocking on the door, and they don't want to speak to the children about the "choices" they made, they want to speak to the parent.