My dad thinks raw is an addiction!

[Rmiller]

I can't believe it!! My dad came over to visit my place and while I was doing something else, he put restrictions on my computer so that I can't access any raw or vegan web-sites anymore (I'm visiting the forum at my friends house). When I discovered this and questioned him, he said that he was doing it for my own good because eating raw vegan food is an addiction just like porno is an addiction. He said that he was saving me from this destructive lifestyle! What do you think, do you think this is an addiction like porno or alcoholism?

[D'vorah]

Your father most probably means well, but he is coming from a lifetime of eating the Standard American Diet (SAD). Anything he has to say about raw vegan will come through that particular filter, and from that vantage point; what we choose here can *appear* to be fringe, radical and unhealthy.

I'm guessing your dad is around my age. When we were in school our classrooms were decorated with the "four food groups" posters (which, I only came to understand in adult life, were created and supplied by the meat and dairy industries dollars).

For our field trips, we visited diary farms and meat packing plants. We grew up with the lovable "Elsie the cow", who encouraged us to eat our cheese and drink our milk so that we would grow up big and tall.

It's propaganda, and effective propaganda at that. And let's face it, the foods we grew up on appealed hugely to our taste buds and quickly and lastingly satisfied our hunger. And they were whipped up in mom's kitchen, and came to mean to us, nothing less than mother's love.

When I was a child, the largest portions of the grocer was the unprocessed foods, meat, milk and produce. We had only a few processed packaged foods to choose from (and "TV dinners" were a great treat, reserved for when dad had to work late, and served in front of our favorite TV shows).

Over the years, gradually, the processed sections of the grocery store have increased by leaps and bounds, multiple brands of the same cereal, bread, frozen pre-cooked foods from which to choose. A huge, HUGE variety of tasty dishes which can be prepared in minutes. And it's happened gradually enough that we rarely have questioned the impact upon our environment or our bodies. We trust the food industry and we trust our happy family grocer (which is a thing of the past, but still exists in our subconscious mind).

Further, in our youth, doctors were never questioned, they were the final authority, so as your father, and others of his generation, develop arthritis, high blood pressure, vascular disease and other such issues, they accept the standard treatment, which is pills and surgery. I watched my own father go through vascular surgery last year and not one person, not ONCE was he counseled on diet, and had he been, it would have been marginal at best, as the majority of his health care workers, both doctors and nurses, were over weight. Some were morbidly obese. And the food served in the hospital to patients and visitors alike was high-fat SAD foods, and in the south, that's really high fat.

So, from his vantage point, yes, what we do here is bizarre. But imagine the reverse, imagine if you were raised away from civilization, eating only what you could forage, as our Bonobo/Chimp friends do, eating fresh, raw fruits, greens, stems and shoots, imagine if you were thrust into his world, how would his world look to you? It would look addictive, radical, unhealthy and dangerous.

He can't help how he sees it, he's been indoctrinated for years into a lifestyle that is satiating and tastes wonderful to him. He's viewing it through his filters, albeit, uneducated filters. He probably loves you and he probably wants what is best for you, and he's probably afraid of this extreme-appearing expression of diet.

I wish you well, going against the grain of decades of food propaganda is difficult, and you are obviously a minor still living with parents. The best you can do is find the books, articles and research which support your desire to live healthfully, educate yourself (The China Study is an excellent read) and avoid bringing literature into the house that reads as radical and fringe. Unfortunately there are some among us who don’t write well, and have not backed their words with solid research and they come across to those of my generation as freaks.

Long answer made short, no, this is not an addiction. This is a choice to live healthfully in a culture that doesn’t embrace such. Porno and alcoholism are addictions that embrace the opposite of health. It's regretable that he chose to express his concern in that manner, he lost ground.

Blessings as you press on,

Deborah

[KombuchaCHIC]

Oh my goodness! He sure has some strange views of nutrition and addiction! No, I don't see this as an addiction. I think addictions are bad habits that take over your life which are detrimental to your health. This is a lifestyle which is beneficial to your health. It sounds like he needs to do more research. How old are you? If you have your own place, it seems like you are old enough that he doesn't really have the right to restrict which websites you choose to view? Does he restrict pornographic websites as well? Either way, good luck to you! I'm sorry he doesn't understand.

[trinity082482]

If it is an addiction.. its a good addiction. And at least your eating! OMG how can he be so ignorant about a healthy life style. Obviously anything different scares him. Maybe talk to him about it.

[eatyourbroccoli]

anything can be an addiction. people can be addicted to alcohol and porn, yes..but they can also be addicted to working out, the internet, and even food itself. one can become addicted to just about anything, and it seldom has much to do with the substance itself; usually has everything to do with the mindset behind the use.

if youre going raw because of mentally unhealthy reasons, then yes..i can see how raw could be an addiction. a physically healthy addiction, yes...but not a mentally healthy one. and if thats the case, then i would have to say that raw may not be the best choice for that person - not, at least, until they approached it with the right reasons and worked out whatever the issues were causing them to approach it unhealthily in the first place.

but if youre going raw from behind a healthy, happy perspective, then no - i dont think its an addiction.

[Revvell]

More of an obsession with some than an addiction. But then, these would be the same people who were obesessed with food no matter what the food program.

Revvell

[DavidZaneMason]

I hear you. If YOU don't make it an issue, then it will slip the mind of others...for whom it was never an issue. Simply go about your work! And accept that others don't accept it! LOL. Don't have a problem with them having a problem. Ha! ha!

-David Z. Mason

[kyrie]

Hi ,

Sorry to hear what happened. Your dad will come round once he sees you're healthy, vibrant and happy.

But for a solution, you need to uninstall your internet explorer, or even do a full system reboot, and reset the computer to its default settings, then welcome back to the forum from the comfort of your own home.

Also put a password on your computer, to prevent access ;). Use absolutely random letters and numbers, no algebraic or algorithmic series or logarithmic series. And also if using windows XP, set it so that any settings can only be changed by the administrator - you.

Use a kickass password!!!

It's a shame he didn't respect your privacy. I wouldn't be too happy, and it is definitely a trust issue on both sides!!!

Best of luck.

Happy Trails,
Carla

[Gwena]

Like everyone else, I'm so sorry to read about what your dad did. Gosh, raw is the least addictive thing I've ever done. I find cooked food addictive, not raw.

I agree with Revvell. Folks who have an addiction to raw were probably struggling with addictive tendencies with food to begin with, but obsession makes much more sense.

Anyhoo, I wish you the best with your pops and, like the others, hope he comes to respect your privacy while in your home and on your computer.

[D'vorah]

Kyrie, as a parent, I can tell you that while what you suggest might work, it will only fuel suspicion and distrust on the part of the parent who has the ultimate power to confiscate the entire machine.

A better path is to be above-board honest, share what you have learned, share your passion, make legitimate literature available, establish agreed upon boundaries. . . things of that nature.

One problem is that within the raw movement, there is not an abundance of solid research supporting a lot of what we do, available in layman's terms. In the arena of low-fat cooked vegan we have authors such as Dr. John McDougall , Dr. Joel Furman, John Robbins and Dr. T. Colin Campbell. While these authors don't espouse raw vegan, they would be a great place to start in teaching a distrustful father about vegan eating from a platform of solid science. Add to that Alissa's work, and you have a great amount of literature to share.

Sooner or later we all have to face the questions of diet and relationships and how to strike balance, and I can promise you that the parent/child relationship matters greatly. I offer that as both an adult daughter and a parent of young adult and teenage kids.

Deborah

[Revvell]

She's 27. He has no rights whatsoever other than what she gives him.

Revvell



Kyrie, as a parent, I can tell you that while what you suggest might work, it will only fuel suspicion and distrust on the part of the parent who has the ultimate power to confiscate the entire machine.

Deborah

[D'vorah]

Oh, gosh, I completely misread the original post, he came to HER place and messed with her computer. I see. Yes, that's a different story. Yeah, I'd be furious.

My apologies for muddying this thread.

Difficult relationships are difficult to maintain. I've spent years working at relationship with a semi-abusive father, whom I love very much, to that extent, I do stand by a portion of what I said, but certainly not all of it.

Deborah

[blaqberry]

:eek: *SPEECHLESS*

[Rawzula]

I would be furious too, if that happened to me. What a total disregard for your privacy:eek:!

[misslinda]

Rmiller, I can see where this would have developed......

I know you had been fighting anorexia and can see where your father would abruptly react.

In my own personal experience, in 2003 my last weight extreme weight dip with anorexia, my family was confused and skeptical about my NEWLY RAW food adventures in 2004. It takes family time to adjust and accept we have every intension of becoming healthy. The process isn't always easy or smooth............relapse does happen and I think that is the ultimate fear.

So given the circumstances, I wouldn't be offended. Don't let his behaviors frustrate you. It may be his way of saying "I'm afraid you........"

:)

[lil fairy z girl]

mmh, interesting. i think anything can be classed as an addiction if it consumes your life and you cannot control it. however i cannot see anything wrong with eating fresh healthy food. its way better than meat n two veg or junk diets.
its good you are looking after your health.

best wishes
sal
~*~*~*

[carolg]

Dad doesn't understand his boundaries. Maybe as future suggestion, a class or book on boundaries and sticking up for your believes. He has/had no right to visit and mess around with someone else's property. He still thinks you are "daddy's girl living in his house". So he was a trespasser?

Are you paying for own internet services? Can you call provider for their assistance in unblocking the sites he put restrictions on? If you told them the true story they would not believe you probably, so maybe say a "friend" was playing with your computer and blocked some sites and now you want to unblock them.

We can be obsessed with work, and many other things besides food. Eating health and not having to be another hospital statistic is a great goal. I remember my husband who refused to be a vegan way back as I was passionated about it when it wasn't popular. He then had a one time seizure, no signs/warnings, and in 6 weeks he was healed by choices that impact his today. He's in great condition, but we immediately became vegan, learned lots and the results speaks for itself. Sometimes ignorance can be a factor too.

So sorry for this challenge.

carolg

[Rmiller]

Thanks everyone so much for your understanding. The funny thing is that I never talk to my dad about what I eat because I know he will just go ranting on about how silly it is.

Linda: you most likely hit the nail on the head just worried about me since I've had a bad history of eating issues. I like eating raw because physically I feel so much better and it has really freed my mind up to be able to eat whatever and how much I really need to to maintain a healthy weight.

Thanks again for your understanding. You guys are all so supportive on this forum :)

[Pierre]

Are you paying for own internet services? Can you call provider for their assistance in unblocking the sites he put restrictions on? If you told them the true story they would not believe you probably, so maybe say a "friend" was playing with your computer and blocked some sites and now you want to unblock them.
Already solved (see the other forum). He added some lines to /etc/hosts.

[alex]

RMiller:

On your computer if you are using internet explorer:

On the top IE bar click on 'Tools' and select 'Internet Options'

At the top click the 'Security' menu tab

In the top box click on the red 'restricted sites'

Move the cursor down just a little to the box labelled 'sites' and click it

You will then be able to scroll through the extensive list of sites which Microsoft has already decided that you should not have access to (most with probably good reason). Your dad probably used wild cards (?, *) to specify any website that contains the characters 'raw', but he may have gone through your favourites and entered each website individually - so you will have to go through the list, and click on the website in the list, and then select 'remove'. When you are done, simply close the window, reboot your computer and you should be back in business!!!

The above may look complicated but it isn't really - just follow each step.

Take the best care


alex

[sport]

I have read and heard many times that cooked food is an addiction and I am inclined to agree with this theory.
It is far harder to give up cooked food than it is to give up raw food and people with addictive personalities have a far more difficult time doing so.

[carolg]

Pierre,
Thanks. Off to look for the resolution post.
Were you ever soapmaker? Did you have newsletter? If so, I remember you way back.

carolg, former soapmaker with tons of vegan soaps and lifetime ...another hobby explored and graduated from....

[RowanC]

She's 27 and he did this? :eek:
I'd be MAJORLY P.O.'d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[carolg]

Problem SOLVED. Many genius' came to the rescue, but here's the link to the SOLVED mystery:

http://rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?p=223761&posted=1#post223761

Programming Raw just came on board at the perfect time solving the problem. Everyone here rocks. We all care!!!

Alex,
Thanks for increasing my knowledge base here. I've got a boatful of my own challenges. If you are ever up for a challenge, email me as I can have at least two presently. One I've lived with forever even reformatting hard drive.

carolg

[mongomango]

She's 27 and he did this? :eek:
I'd be MAJORLY P.O.'d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know. I have refrained from comment so far so as not to say something inappropriate! But parents will always see their children as their little ones and work to protect them, even if it's only the child's best interest in their own mind. But oh boy...would I have had some words.