Always Justifying to People!

[Stellaluna]

Gosh! I've been wanting to go 100% raw for the longest time, but people are ALWAYS there to put me down. I always have to explain why I eat this, why I eat that, why I don't eat this, why I don't eat that. Then, I get so frustrated and eat cooked food just to prove I'm not "weird".
Grrrrr! :mad:

[Draginvry]

You should just do what I do.

F!@# em

[DavidZaneMason]

Suggestion / opinion:

-Do not expect people that are doing the wrong things to understand your desire to do the right things. Have some compassion for them. When you are happy and confident - that is the best thing you could ever do for them.

-David Mason

[sport]

Then, I get so frustrated and eat cooked food just to prove I'm not "weird".
Grrrrr! :mad:
I love being "weird". Why not just learn to enjoy it. It can be great fun.

[dreamrawalwz]

Do this for you and ONLY you. You don't need to prove them ANYTHING! Do you think it's a subconscience excuse to eat cooked? Get rid of it in your house and if you go out always keep something with you prepared in case you're tempted. If people ask just say you prefer this. You don't need to explain anything to anyone if you don't want to. Say "because I like it!" or something like that if you feel you must defend yourself. I wouldn't do this, but I've heard of others asking meat eaters about their choices.

[Goldenrod]

Just smile and say "this is what works for me." And then drop it. If you don't give them any fuel to keep the conversation going, there isn't much they can do.

[Stellaluna]

Thanks for all the advice guys! Ya'll really do make me feel better!

dreamrawalwz: WoW! I never thought about it like that ... " Do you think it's a subconscience excuse to eat cooked? " ... Man, that makes so much sense.

Goldenrod: Your right Goldenrod. Probably I do sometimes give them fuel to keep the conversation going.

THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE!

[codajess]

It also helps if you aren't one of those people who go on and on about their choices, or always bring them up. I'm not saying you are, as I don't know one way or the other. I find when I don't bring up my choices, nobody notices.
I've never been a person who tries to convert others to my ways. I don't tell them about all the wrong they're doing and how my way is right. That's what sparks debate. Now those who DO like the debate and try to convert people, then that's all good. However, for me, since i'm not like that, nobody knows unless I tell them.

If someone offers you something, you don't have to say "Oh no, I don't eat that." That starts a dialog about the who/what/when/why. I learned years and years ago as a vegetarian to just say "No thanks." And for the rare times when they'll say "Why not?" I say "I'm vegetarian." If they ask why, they will always get the answer: "I prefer my animals alive." It doesn't go anywhere after that.

[sport]

On one occasion someone said to me "the way that you eat is not normal".
I replied that normal at my age was to be overweight, have high blood pressure, Risking cancer, heart attack, stroke and brittle bones. I said I have no wish to be normal.
There was no answer that she could give to that. I am still proud of that moment and consider it one of my finer victories.

[misslinda]

On one occasion someone said to me "the way that you eat is not normal".
I replied that normal at my age was to be overweight, have high blood pressure, Risking cancer, heart attack, stroke and brittle bones. I said I have no wish to be normal.
There was no answer that she could give to that. I am still proud of that moment and consider it one of my finer victories.

* applauds and gives standing O *

btw, I got to the point in raw that I just ignore what everyone says and continue on. I mean what is the worst they can do? Maybe at gunpoint, I'll feel inclined to explain ;)

[Draginvry]

On one occasion someone said to me "the way that you eat is not normal".
I replied that normal at my age was to be overweight, have high blood pressure, Risking cancer, heart attack, stroke and brittle bones.

You make a good argument.

[Bingka]

sport - great statement!!!

When I eat out or with others I do not say a word about how I eat.

Friday night I had a birthday to go to at a place called Chomps. It is a sushi/teppan place (they cook the food in front of you). So everyone ordered something to be cooked. I was the only one who had a salad. The cook did his best to harrase me, but it didn't work. He tried to throw shrimp in my mouth, rice, etc (it's what they do to entertain guests). I just refused. He got no where with me so he moved on. There was a woman sitting next to me that thought it was weird to come here and eat salad. I told her I only eat what grows from the ground. She gave me a strange look and turned away.

If you don't give people reason to question you, they usually lose interest very fast.

Ken

[D'vorah]

At a conference recently, I was told it is good to be weird, since "wyrdd" is an old Gaelic word meaning, "One foot in each world," (Spiritual and physical)!

I googled it and also found "Close to the other world."

Kinda cool, in my opinion.

Deborah

[maraw]

I have doctors and biologists in my family that love to give their two cents on raw food - usually in the form of a cheap pot-shot. It usually boils down to the enzyme argument. I just don't fuel that fire any more. I realize that the way I enjoy eating shouldn't become an argument in my family. Nor will I compromise my health to satisfy someone elses sense of self-righteousness. Don't get me wrong, I love these people very much - but my health is more important than winning an argument.

It reminds me of spiritual salvation. If you know The way, The truth and The light, it is near impossible not to share it with everyone you know. There will, however, be people that will not be touched by that light -no matter what you say.

Living by example, in both cases, is the best argument.

Deborah: I like your comment too. I'll remember that one!

[Stellaluna]

I mean what is the worst they can do? Maybe at gunpoint, I'll feel inclined to explain ;)

LOL! :D

[Sharon in Colorado]

Sport I love it!

Yes, the "No thank you" works everytime for me too. I find that when I don't bring it up, they don't. Also if people really get real nitty gritty about it, I say that I eat this way because of my high cholesterol and heart attacks run in my family. Nobody ever debates that.

So there are a few options. Usually though the debates and conversations go on and on if you are saying that this is the "optimal" way to eat, or we are "all meant" to eat this way, or something else that makes people feel like they have to defend their own food choices.

[Ariannah]

I can see Stellaluna's point. For me, the harder I try to be inconspicuous and blend in, the more I stick out....

Reminds me of Bridget Jones diary where she gets invited to a dinner party and she's the only "single" amongst a bunch of married and knocked up couples, and the conversation inadvertently turns on to her.

If I simply say "no thank you", there's always some freak who says "why not?". I either have to lie and say I am full, but most often I say, "I'm not in the mood for this", because I hate being put in a position where a LIE is the most politically correct response!

Lack of uniformity with regards to eating in social situations, especially smaller crowds (which I tend to find myself in) is a magnet for people who like to say in a loud voice (picture Roseanne from her sitcom), "Yah, so you like, don't eat meat and stuff, whyzat?" It stands out. It's like a non-religious form of communion, everyone notices when you're not partaking.

Sometimes if I am in a LARGE crowd, I get away with not having a slice of cake or whatnot.

Sometimes in smaller crowds I'll take a piece of whatever and have it sitting in front of me on my plate, and just gab, and people are so busy stuffing their own faces they don't notice that I'm not :)

I try not to be put into a position where it even LOOKS like I'm snubbing other people's lifestyles.

Thankfully, the situations where I'm expected to eat with people are few and far between....

[Lay-Lay]

Just say I like this type of food and leave it at that. You owe no one an explanation if you don't want to.

[Tangerina]

I agree... if you don't bring it up it usually won't come up. If it does just come back with a simple reply that isn't a challenge or open for discussion. Also, with specific foods, you can say you are allergic.... Also, there is the flip side that sometimes you will meet people and your food choices come up in conversation and they are impressed or interested, it isn't al bad, I've had some great conversations about it.... the case is helped greatly if you have some of RP's brownies on hand....