I think my child may have depression...

[kellibelli]

I have three girls. My middle one is only 6, but she is just like me when I was young - easily overwhelmed, has a hard time functioning in school (not so much with her academics but she simply doesnt "have fun" like the other kids according to her teacher), and she is and has always been this way. I recall being this way as a child and as an adult...basically, I identify with her and know what she is going through. I was diagnosed with depression years ago and have been on medication for that. There are so many side effects of the drugs and I certainly would not want to subject my child to them. For that reason, I hesitate to take her to a doctor for this issue. I am transitioning my kids slowly to raw and have enlisted the help of their father, my exhusband. I hope this will help both myself with my depression and her, but I certainly could use some advice and opinions of you all out there. Please help us.

[dreamrawalwz]

I know what you're talking about. I was like that since I was in 1st grade and always have been. When I went 100% raw it helped a lot at first (other things are going on at the moment so i'm sure if these were fixed I wouldn't have depression now either). I would not do medication for your daughter. Not just because I"m against drugs, but the fact that the warning says "for children it may increase these thoughts and feelings (of being suicidal)." Six seems very young to be on these types of drugs as well. Can you just start to openly talk to your daughter about how she's feeling and try to engage her in other activities at home she really enjoys so those feelings will flow over during the school day. My mom never asked what was wrong and that hurt me a lot. I kept it all inside. I was being bullied and picked on as well and my mom never took is seriously (it caused a DEEP depression from it, self-esteem plumeted, ect.). I felt like I couldn't talk to my mom so I just isolated myself. Just reassure your daughter and get her to talk. Maybe a counselor could help her (not sure how bad she is?) before it gets worse?

[Graciebeliever]

This is a plea for you to read this and purhaps you might have some answers to your daughters and your own issues. Your description sounded so much like myself and I found this INVALUABLE!!!

It might not be what you are looking for but I can tell you this... It helps everyone. Those who are this way and those who arent but love or live with someone who is.

I sounded just like your daughter and I am now 46. This is a GREAT BOOK


Here is the website to the lady whos book I read at first. I suggest you stick with her initially then perhaps venture out in this area.


http://www.hsperson.com/

Sending you wishes for answers to help your daughter and her ease of life.

[kellibelli]

I read that website and I will get the book for the highly sensitive child. I took that test...guess what? That is me to a tee and also my middle child. Oh, this is such a relief to have a resource to refer to. Again, you have done us a tremendous service. Thank you SO much.

[dreamrawalwz]

I read that website and I will get the book for the highly sensitive child. I took that test...guess what? That is me to a tee and also my middle child. Oh, this is such a relief to have a resource to refer to. Again, you have done us a tremendous service. Thank you SO much.

I took the test and got a 25. Yikes! My mom said she'd look in the library for the book!

[Sharon in Colorado]

If your child is goes to school outside your home, I'd make sure everything is okay with the teachers and other students. Just to make sure all is well, which I'm sure it is, but never hurts to check.

[kellibelli]

Sharon in Colorado - I have spoken with her teacher and she seems to be understanding of my daughter's personality and thankfully her teacher is kind-hearted and gentle and willing to help out whenever the need arises. In fact, I will be eating lunch with her and her class several times a week in the school cafeteria and that will help boost her spirits I hope.

dreamrawalwz- It sounds like you and I are in the same boat...I got a 24...its a blessing and a burden at the same time to be this way.

[juliebove]

My daughter is the same way. A change of diet did seem to help some. In her case, not raw but eliminating foods she was allergic to. We knew she had allergies. The Drs. kept blaming her respiratory infections on allergies but they also kept telling us she didn't have food allergies, yet they didn't test her. Now she has been tested and we know what she can't have.

Moving to another state also helped us. We do move frequently because my husband is in the military. The worst place for us was NYC. We moved there less than a year after the 9-11 thing. It was as though an invisible gray cloud shrouded the city. I could feel it and my daughter could certainly feel it. I was horrified to learn that in school she was reminded of it several times a day. They'd get on the PA system each morning and tell the kids about all the bad people out there and all the people who lost their lives. At age 5, she was too little to understand. She just picked up on the bad vibes.

She would get weepy and refuse to go to school. When she did go to school, she wouldn't talk to anyone. She was also traumatized because the teacher she was given for the first couple of weeks of Kindergarten was not used to teaching little kids. She laughed at them when they couldn't figure out that they needed to use the bathroom and she yelled at them frequently. It was so bad that they replaced her with another teacher. My daughter never got over this and remained fearful of the new teacher even though she was nice.

The worst part of this for me was that she was seeing the school psychologist, but the school refused to allow me to know what went on at these sessions. So that didn't help me any.

When we moved back to WA, that first year was rough. Even though I have friends and family here, my daughter was still very shy and didn't want to talk to people. She was terrified of school, but the school here is totally different from the school in NY. She is in 3rd grade now and only just now starting to realize this. She is starting to loosen up a bit.

She is also enrolled in dance. She is taking 4 classes. As she puts it, "Dance is my life!" The dance classes are really helping her because they force her to interact with people. But this is something she had to decide to do on her own. She is not the type who you can push into an activity. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to do it and the more you try to push her, the more she digs her heels in and resists.

I don't know if my daughter is truly depressed or not. At times I think she is. She sometimes makes comments like, "I don't feel like myself". Or "I wish God would just make me dead". Or, "I wish I were never born". But then if I try to get more information from her about what she means, she gets really nasty with me and won't tell me any more. She also sometimes does destructive things. I have no decent furniture because she has either cut it, ripped it, drawn on it with a pen, or ground messy food into it. It can get very, very frustrating.

[wyjoz]

I took a depression class last fall. To give you a very short answer of 6 books that we had to do for the class.

Omega 3 via flex seeds !

Sunshine

Green smoothies

Excercise

Classical Music for relaxation

Complete Darkness in rooms when we sleep ! No night lights, no radio clock lights, no street lights through the windows etc COMPLETE DARKNESS

Obviously there is more to this but start just doing this daily and the link for http://www.hsperson.com/ sounds interesting. I'll have to read it tonight.

Look into this: http://www.radiantrecovery.com/ read the whole site. Kathleen deals with depression and foods and kids and foods. Joz

[Sharon in Colorado]

Sharon in Colorado - I have spoken with her teacher and she seems to be understanding of my daughter's personality and thankfully her teacher is kind-hearted and gentle and willing to help out whenever the need arises. In fact, I will be eating lunch with her and her class several times a week in the school cafeteria and that will help boost her spirits I hope.


Hi Kellibelli - that's great that she has an understanding teacher. I'm in a group that gets together weekly called "Bringing up Boys" and it went over teasing and bullying and some of the characteristics to look out for. I was just thinking about that.

Sometimes kids can be overly nasty to one another, and other times certain kids can take a light teasing or joke too seriously, so I was just wondering about if there were any negative interactions going on with your child and others in school. Since the teacher seems to be connecting with your child, I'm sure she's looking out for her.

[kellibelli]

Sharon in Colorado - I know that she has had a few tiffs with a friend in her class recently. She seems to choose friends that have strong personalities, bossy, etcetera...and she gets her feeling hurt frequently...breaks my heart.

I picked up "The Highly Sensitive Child" last night and started reading it and this morning I picked up "The Highly Sensitive Person" as well. Man oh man, I feel really validated and important and I actually dont think I am "nuts" anymore after getting half way through both of these books. They describe me and my daughter so perfectly and I feel much less pressure to conform to others' standards of what is "social" and what is "happy" than before. I know I said it last night, but truly you have helped me and my family so much by suggesting these books. Thank you so very much.

wyjoz - I will read that link you suggested as well. Thank you so much!

[Graciebeliever]

Sharon in Colorado - I know that she has had a few tiffs with a friend in her class recently. She seems to choose friends that have strong personalities, bossy, etcetera...and she gets her feeling hurt frequently...breaks my heart.

I picked up "The Highly Sensitive Child" last night and started reading it and this morning I picked up "The Highly Sensitive Person" as well. Man oh man, I feel really validated and important and I actually dont think I am "nuts" anymore after getting half way through both of these books. They describe me and my daughter so perfectly and I feel much less pressure to conform to others' standards of what is "social" and what is "happy" than before. I know I said it last night, but truly you have helped me and my family so much by suggesting these books. Thank you so very much.

wyjoz - I will read that link you suggested as well. Thank you so much!



Kelli you have no idea how good I feel right now..

As I wipe away my tears, I once again realize how important that first day was that I could see myself as someone special instead of nuts or chronically depressed!!

It is an amazing thing to finally realize that what and who you are is WONDERFUL and that the things you see and observe at an intense level is something to be proud of..

Now comes learning to take care of yourself and that gift.

Learning how to limit your intake of visual and environmental information.

Learning to say no to situations that you know will cause you to over load.

Hugs to you and your daughter and welcome to a very new chapter of your life..

Now you will see how you are is a real gift :)

[kellibelli]

I have always wondered why I felt so different from those around me. It wasnt just simple depression because really depression wasnt the right descriptor. Knowing that "the way I am" and the fact that I always remember feeling "this way" has always made me feel misunderstood. My family and friends have always kind of looked at me sideways when I have told them that my idea of fun is some quiet time sitting on the couch petting my cat. As I have gotten into my 30s I have really begun to question whether or not I was seriously going nuts because more and more people give me the subtle hint that I am a hermit or someone who doesnt have a lot of fun or social contact, but really that isnt the case. When I go to church on Sundays or out to the grocery store or whatever that is about all I can manage for the week. I have 3 little girls and I am a divorced mom and I am as busy as heck working from home to support us financially and taking care of my little family and all of that alone is enough to put me into the fetal position. I feel so validated now knowing that (1) I have a huge load for anyone to carry - sensitive or not, (2) for an HSP, this kind of a situation is particularly overwhelming, (3) I feel that I have ammunition now when I get a comment from people of how "sad" my life is that it is anything BUT sad - it is just a whole heck of a lot of work being me and being in my situation.

So, that was the long version...sorry all of you who had to wade through that! Anyways, my best to all in raising your children and in your journey in life.

[berrymarymac]

I never bring up my depression with my psychiatrist because of this issue. I'm already on ADD meds. Yes I do have ADD, I was diagnosed when I was 5, which has been 14 years now...it's not a false diagnosis or something. But I get extremely depressed. And at 10 it began. Make sure everything is fine at school...like nothing is wrong with bullies or anything. Some kids don't bring it up...I never did until I came home with blood on my back from kids sharpening pencils and poking them into my skin until I bled, then they broke it, leaving the lead. Also I came home with black eyes.

But I hope you find the strength you are seeking with this! Take her to a psychologist or counselor, perhaps the problem will be brought up there. Good luck!!

[kellibelli]

Thank you so much. That sounds like a terrible ordeal to have to go through. I am so sorry about that. I have met some of her friends and I will be eating lunch with her every day at the cafeteria now. Her teacher seems to be on the ball and has been watching out for her. She and her friends are at the age now, first grade, where if I strike up conversations with them during lunch time I can probably sway her "social life" to a more positive direction. She is so sensitive when someone doesnt want to play with her. I just want her to see the positive side of things at her age and hopefully I can make that a bit easier for her by being fun/cool mom at school so that her friends continue to associate my daughter with a positive role model. I will continue to look out for her, though, and especially keep my eyes open for signs of being picked on. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Sometimes we go through things so that others will benefit from those experiences...thank you for sharing your sacrifice with me. ;)

Oh yah, she also met with the school counselor on Friday and will be doing so probably once a week or so. This is a lady that is just there to talk with her when she feels overwhelmed. I like the idea of her feeling that she has an "ally" at school. It is very comforting to me.

[Graciebeliever]

I LOVE knowing and actually having a "REASON" as to why I am the way I am.
A validation of myself.

I love having a "RICH INNER LIFE".

I hear you 100% on not being able to handle much without it putting me in a total turtle withdrawl.

I too am a single mom of 2 teenage boys and I have had to work hard to keep from over doing my time obligations so I stay sane.

Having this forum is like a Godsend because it takes out the stress of meeting and being with everyone all at once. Don't get me wrong, I would love to meet people here but to be honest and upfront, if I walked into a room with all the people on this board, I would be glued to the wall, limiting my vision to something small and trying to keep out all the visual stimulation.

This board allows me to really open up without discomfort :) I get to set my own comfort level.

Please keep me up to date with things, it is a joy to see you find answers that I know will help you. A REAL JOY

[kellibelli]

I only hope I can somehow sense when other people need to know that they are an HSP or have children with that quality as you have done with me. Lets just keep up the good work, continue to be sensitive to our needs and the needs of those around us, and PAMPER OURSELVES!!! ;)

[eatyourbroccoli]

kelli..

just another suggestion: (actually..i havent read any of the others so this may be a repeat)

try elliminating possible allergens from her diet. wheats a big one, but any grain seems to cause a night and day in my emotions. then theres always dairy, soy, etc.

good luck with everything

[kellibelli]

I am transitioning my girls to raw...so these things are slowly being eliminated. I am hoping that this will help as well.

[luckitri]

Thanks for the link Graciebeliever! Yup, that's me! My son was much like juliebove's daughter with the negative comments that are frightening for a parent to hear. We have moved alot and what has brought him out of it is that we finally live in a neighborhood where he can play outside with nice kids every day if he so chooses. As far as medicine goes - I agree that they have potential risks but if for a short time she tried them and got to feel more like the other children - more involved - more laughing etc - maybe that would giver her an idea of being more engaged in her life and what the goal is. I know that with my son he had the option of ADD medicine. He tried it and he didn't want to stick with it.

[Mango]

My daughter is 15 years old. She has suffered from depression her whole life. We noticed it at about age 5. She was different and withdrawn from the other kids.

A couple of years ago, the depression got very severe. She began cutting herself. She has been going to counseling for many years. There was no real reason for the depression. She was sad and didn't know why. She always said she had a great life and had no reason to be sad.

Last year I spent a ton of time researching depression and trying to find the cause of it. She became a vegan along with me but continued to eat high carb diets. While I was researching, I came across info that suggested gluten could be the cause. We decided to go off of gluten 100% and the depression was GONE in 3 days! I mean completely gone. I went from having a child that wanted to kill herself to a smiling, happy normal 15 year old girl. You can't imagine the joy of seeing such a transition.

She has been depression free for almost a year now. We have had a couple of setbacks during the year because she was eating hidden gluten in a few things. Once we discovered it, the depression was gone again.

You need to be very careful even eating raw. You can't have wheatgrass or barley grass.

Good luck and I hope you find the answer through nutrition.

[juliebove]

Wheat grass does not contain gluten. Not sure about barley grass though.

[Mango]

I know that they say they do not contain gluten but my daughter clearly cannot have them. It is too hard to seperate the gluten from the grass.

[kellibelli]

Wow, that is amazing. Strange thing, Mango, because as you describe your 15-year-old daughter well that was me as a teen, exactly. I am so thankful for this forum because it has brought lots of things to my attention. Thankfully, we are on our way to 100% raw as a family and that will cut out some possible contributing villains in the way of allergens, etcetera. Thank you all for sharing your stories and opinions. As always, you all have a wealth of knowlege in your experiences and that always helps me.

[luckitri]

Yup - years and years ago the State of Connecticut had an experiment in their mental hospitals on scizhophrenic patients and eliminating the wheat from their diets and alot got cured! I heard of this word of mouth many many years ago and just can't understand why it is not now common knowledge or that I see no references to it in my travels through literature on health. (My mother knew a woman whose daughter was in the experiment and got better.)

Graciebeliever - you state my feelings exactly - I can set my limits here and I am shy socially and especially don't do groups. Well - lately I have been thinking that my biggest problem is that the groups around me settle their differences according to their relationships - and not wanting to hurt those they care about causes them to think about their choices in handling stuff. I think this is all nice but I find it frightening that they think that way because that group dynamic - well they go off the deep end sometimes and I don't trust them. I try to govern my life with principles and ideas that I can get behind. I will not be loyal to you regardless if you are my friend. If you are in error I will tell you and that is what I think friendship is. These people around me are loyal to the relationship and some twisted behaviors result.

[Mango]

My BIL is schizophrenic. I have given him so much information about the relationship to schozophrenia and gluten. He has chosen not to give it a try. It is so sad that these doctors don't look for a cause and just treat the symptoms. I am very convinced that my daughter would be going down the same path as him if we didn't discover this. I get emotional and thank God every day that I found out about this now and that she did not have to suffer the rest of her life with this horrible disease.

There is gluten in many foods. It is even in shampoos and some toothpastes. You need to read labels on EVERYTHING. Over the summer I had my daughter doing a colon cleanse. I thought that it was just herbs in the cleanse and I never thought to read the label. She got soooooo depressed for 3 weeks. We thought she was just getting depressed because school was starting. Finally she thought to look at the label of the colon cleanse and sure enough it had barley and oats in it. I could have kicked myself for not looking at the label. Oh well, live and learn. It took about a week for her to get back to normal.

[ArcticMist]

My son who is 7 has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He is on medicine but I have accepted he may have to be on medicine. I do believe food plays a role but it is not the cause...

I have not tried gluten free. I am going to try that and get back into high raw with them. I know I have slacked on the food during all the stress of this.

But I would like him to not be on such high medicine and we risk going up to 4 pills. so this is a great thread!