Has anyone ever been attacked for their food choice in a restaurant?

[Angeline]

I've been questioned and ridiculed for being a vegetarian many times but never like what happened to me tonight when my family and I went out to eat. The only choice I had at this restaurant was the steak salad (only salad that they had). I asked for it with no steak, eggs, cheese, croutons or salad dressing. (I had my own raw dressing I brought) The waitress asked me what was wrong with the steak. I told her that I just preferred it plain. She rolled her eyes and said whatever. It was my daughter's turn to order next and she looked at me apprehensively so I ordered for her a patty melt without the hamburger. The waitress asked me why not the hamburger. I knew at this point I should make it clear we were vegetarian. The waitress said “I don't understand you people, don't you know you have to eat meat to get protein"? I smiled at her and said we get enough protein. "Not without meat you don't" she said forcefully. My son ordered next a salad without the meat or eggs and cheese. The waitress looked at me and said "oh, this is just sad what you've taught them". "What kind of mom does this to her kids"? One that loves them I told her and looked her straight in the eye to back her down. "That's not love that's just stupidity" she said back and then turned to my daughter and asked her "Do you even know where that hamburger comes from"? My daughter didn't want to answer. "It comes from a cow that belongs to a farmer who makes a living by raising them she said with a hard edge to her voice. My son told her no, it comes from a cow who was killed in an assembly line that was born to be slaughtered so you could eat it. I was ready to leave at that point but everyone was hungry and it was getting too late to find another restaurant. When our food came I was delivered a salad with bacon bits on it, cheese and ham. My son was given the same thing. My daughter received a patty melt with hamburger juice on the open bun that was left on the side of the plate. (They took the hamburger off because the cook forgot to make it without the hamburger, but the juice was left on the bun) I asked her to please bring us the salad without cheese and any meat. She said “Well maybe it would be easier if you just picked it off". I told her she could take it back because we didn't want it. She said to me" look at what you are teaching these poor kids". I'm teaching them how to love themselves and every living thing I finally said starting to feel my patience reaching an end. Then she went into a rant about farms and how we were hurting them and how I didn't know anything about farm animals or how they were put on earth by God to be eaten. Needless to say we left the restaurant and went home. I made my son a salad with peas, cucumbers, sweet tomatoes, grated carrots sprouts and my own raw dressing. I made my daughter her grilled cheese sandwich with a salad and decided we would use the money we saved tonight on a trip to the gorge after school to go hiking.

I tried to dismiss what happened tonight from my mind but the words “you people " felt like I was being placed in some category and separated from whoever the other people were. Being called stupid in front of my kids and the people eating near us made me feel this anger rise inside that I controlled on the outside. My kids were quiet all the way home and I think it hurt them too. My daughter told me tonight at bedtime that she knew where cows came from and how they were killed. While we talked about it we both cried and couldn't get through the discussion because we were crying. I think she was thinking of the mental image of how cows can see the one in front of them being killed and how afraid they must be. All you want to do is somehow stop the madness of it and give those cows a hug and a good running start out of the slaughter assembly line. I grew up on a farm. I've hugged many cows growing up. I've talked to pigs while sitting on the fence, and petted chickens and ran away from the geese. By living on a farm it makes you love animals not want to kill them. You can feel them as being a part of you and you love them. I guess whatever "one of those people is supposed to be" I am one, but that feeling of alienation came over me like a dark cloud for a while. As far as all the things I should have said to this waitress or wanted to say....I don't think it would have mattered. I sometimes think that food is as touch a subject as religion and if you don't believe the same as what they do they feel you are attacking their belief system. I did get a chance to talk to my kids about how life is an energy dance and if someone thrusts negative energy at you can give back more negative energy and make it increase or neutralize it with good energy. If that doesn't work then you opt out of the exchange and say a prayer of peace to charge the energy to positive.

I guess within this long post is that I am wondering if anyone else has had this kind of situation to deal with? I'd like to be able to share other's experiences with my kids.

[juliebove]

I haven't, but... I would not go to that kind of restaurant to begin with. I do sometimes have to ask for things to be left off. But if they don't already have something on the menu close to what I want, I won't go there to begin with. We tend to eat at the same places and they know our food issues. I have never been talked to like that by a waitress, but I have run across several dumb ones.

My daughter has a wheat allergy. She's not a vegetarian. She ordered a meat patty with no bun. They messed up and put it on a bun. When I said she couldn't have the bun, they took it back, took off the bun and brought it back with pieces of bun and sesame seeds still sticking to it.

We both have an egg allergy. Mine is severe. We asked about the green salads at one restaurant because some places do put croutons or cheese (both have dairy allergies) on them. But she didn't tell us about the bacon and egg put on the salad! I apologized after she brought them with the egg and bacon on there, telling her I had not realized these would be on there and could we get salads with just the vegetables. Same thing happened. She took them back, picked off what we didn't want, then brought them back to us.

Got this same waitress again. This time I thought I'd be smart and order the salads with just vegetables. She gave me a totally dumb look and what we wound up with was a plate of lettuce. Nothing else on it.

At another restaurant, I ordered hummus and raw vegetables. This isn't on the menu but the owner has made it for me many times. She brought me hummus with steamed vegetables. Yuck!

I can't understand how a waitress would make comments on your food choices. That's not her job. Her job is to ensure prompt service. That's it!

[vgloveforlife]

I cannot believe your experience!! That lady had no right to say the things that she did. I would have complained about here to the manager.
I have never had an experience like that. There are plenty of meat based resturaunts in this town that I make sure to avoid-instead I go to the vegan one down the road. No judgement there. :)

[rawfigure]

I am glad you left, your waitress was way out of line. I would have stopped to get the name of the Manager/Owner on my way out and contact them.

I have a restaurant I go to regularly, the owner served our meal so she could talk to us and did ask me if I anything other than salad ? but it was in a joking fashion.

I had one experience at a very nice, expensive restaurant where I asked for special items, no chicken etc etc. The waitress was rude, brought my husband his (filet) meal, but never brought mine, I asked 2 more times and she said it was being made (it was salad...no chicken)..?? and then she brought our bill, with our meals on it. I pointed out that my meal was never brought and she said...OH I will take it off the bill. We paid the bill. I asked for the Manager at the desk. She was out. I called her the next day, she never returned my call. I wrote to the owner of the Restaurant. The Manager was fired shortly after that, and the waitress. We went there for lunch Sat, very nice (it has a view so we still like to go there.)

[Revvell]

No, I've never been "attacked" anywhere I go. Although you and your children were treated rudely you were not "attacked" (It's all in the perception). IF I don't get the attention and response I expect from a waitperson I will request the manager at the first eyeroll. IF the manager does not give me the courtesy I expect and deserve, I leave.

As Julie said ~ I do not go to restaurants which have nothing I can eat on the menu unless I'm going with a group who do not share my food choices ~ then, I'll eat beforehand. I have done a mystery shop at a Cheesecake factory and even there I've been able to substitute and order what I wanted.

You waitress was out of line. IF that were my situation I would have stopped her and told her that I did not come into this restaurant to be preached to; please get the manager. IF there was no manager available I'd have asked for another waitress (move to another table if necessary); if no other waitress was available I'd ask if the restaurant was willing to accomodate me. If not, I'd have left.

In situations like this, one has to take control of it. You allowed her to control you. She's a WAITRESS! That means her job is to wait on you and please you.

I once went to a Japanese restaurant. The waitress was very accomodating when I changed the California roll to an avocado roll and the miso soup to the vegetarian miso soup (Many moons ago when I was "just" vegetarian) and it was my co-worker who apologized to the waitress for my "giving her a hard time". After, in no uncertain terms telling her she was NOT in charge of me and what I did, I explained to her that that is the job of the waitress ~ to wait on me. (And yes, I was a waitress for quite some time so, I know what the job entails and it does NOT entail preaching at someone for their food choices.)

It's up to you whether you contact the manager and explain what happened or not. Personally, I'd probably make one call and see what happens. If no satisfaction, it's not worth the time/energy and let it go.

Revvell

[GlimR]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.......NO ONE is entitled to shove them down anyone elses throat. Voicing her opinions in such an agressive manner was completely out of line. Her job is to take your order in a pleasant manner and see to it that you get what you ordered, period!!

I would have had the manager at my table in a heartbeat...(as soon as she said anything about my choices) and failing any satisfaction there I would have been on the phone to the owner.

Some things you can just let go and some need to be addressed.

[Sharon in Colorado]

:eek:

Yeesh what kind of restaurant did you go to anyway? Mel's Diner? Is Flo still around?

You need to write a letter out exactly as you told us here, but with more paragraphs for readibility, and send it certified mail to the restaurant's manager. Actually your responses to the waitstaff is not necessary, just write out what she said to you and your kids.

I am shocked that you were treated that way.

Unbelievable.

I would have left because who knows what would wind up in your food if you'd have told her off.

[levamssg]

WITH REGARD TO HOW YOU HANDLED THE SITUATION ... Your children are eons ahead of many because of the knowledge you have given them. In leaving that restaurant you made a great statement -Hooray for you! They have tools to stand up for what they believe in, because they saw you do it. Again, hooray for you. What lucky kids you have! Will they be stronger because of experiences like this? Yes. Will they be more compassionate? Yes.

You are so right in that arguing about it never works. You were dealing with an angry, narrow minded person. In any conversation/confrontation, they are always right, no matter what.

And yes, you are part of that group of 'those people' ... those people who are enlightened to the healthy way of eating and treating our bodies ... those people who are enlighted about the plight of the animals ... those people who actually care about our planet. I think it is pretty special to be one of 'those people'.


WITH REGARD TO THE BUSINESS END OF THIS ...
You have every right to order food to fit your specifications in a restaurant. If they can't/or won't comply, their obligation is to politely tell you so, and leave it at that.

The server had no business speaking with you in that manner. Contact the manager for the restaurant and lodge a formal WRITTEN complaint. If this is a 'one off' place (not a chain), then make sure you have the person whose bottom line is affected. If it's a chain, make sure to find the top of the line person who can action something like this, and take it up with them as well.

In any business, customer service is what keeps clientele. Word of mouth travels fast. Make it a point to put this word of mouth on high speed.

There is no place in our society for businesses that treat people in this manner. At the very least, that server should lose their job. And you certainly deserve an apology.

I eat out a lot, and frequent places ranging from vegetarian to high end meat/potatoes places. Although there have been times when the pickings were mighty slim -- I've never been ridiculed for my food choices.

[LisaDS88]

Wow! I would have contacted the manager and made sure she was fired. Her job is not to try to "educate" you on what to eat. Not only is it rude, but it's plain horrible service. What happened to "the customer is always right" anyway?? Any good business knows that. They should have been thankful you were saving them money....by paying for food at the same price as it is with meat/cheese, but not getting the meat/cheese. They would have made a good profit off of you. Lost cost with high turnover. What a stupid waitress.

Sometimes I get funny looks when I order stuff "altered", but never any problems like you had.

[therawdeal]

We went out to eat over the weekend and tried to order our salad without chicken, eggs, bacon & dressing. The lady looked at me like I spoke a foreign language. I repeated myself and she said okay, do you want ham? I repeated that I didn't want any meat. Would you believe that she asked me three more times if I wanted chicken? After saying a firm NO she went to another waitress like surely she wasn't understanding me and the lady asked us if that was what we WERE wanting and we were like YES, NO CHICKEN, Can you do that here? Finally, we got our order with two different kinds of dressing on the side!! I guess they just couldn't imagine it. I guess they didn't even notice a big bottle of home made dressing on the table!! ;)

[Guppy]

Ugh, that's so horrible. I have eaten in many different places all over the world and have never ever had a problem ordering vegetarian. Some servers do not know what it is and will say things like "but chicken's OK right?" but I find that a polite and good-humored attitude keeps everyone happy. If they cannot make what I have requested I would say "OK, thanks anyway" and leave, no sweat, but I have never had to.

Sorry that happened. It was just one crazy person. Try ot let go of your stress over it.

emily

[Pailani]

I agree with the other posters. Surely you're not the only vegetarian to have gone to that restarant. She was way out of line and you need to complain to the manager.

[Sharon in Colorado]

Also I have found it the most helpful to just order a salad with "everything on the side"...ordering a salad and saying to hold 6 different things just confuses some people.

One thing that stands out in my mind is an old poster here by the name of Samuel Wilson - he wrote that when a server questioned him he'd give them the silent treatment.

Wouldn't look at them or anything. That would make the server uncomfortable and they would repeat the question, continuing to get the silent treatment until the server had to call over the manager. I don't remember what he wrote at that point - maybe just repeated his order to the manager.

It was kind of amusing, but I'm sure it was affective for him. Not sure that I could do that, but if I ever was on the receiving end of someone like the server you described it would be easier to do.

[Eveleaf]

Yes, of course she should have had respect for your choices and just done her job. EVEN IF she were 100% correct in everything she said, (which of course she believes in her heart) she had no right to say it.

I have some trouble with this myself, sometimes I find myself making negative remarks in the grocery store when we walk past, for example, the meat aisle or the dairly aisle. I have to remind myself that there was a time when I firmly believed this stuff was crucial to a healthy lifestyle and you can't force others into enlightenment.

I had to find that path gently, with love, over time. And others are no different.

Now, I live in a fairly progressive city and I received nothing but praise for my choices. On the other hand, I understand it is different all over the country. Especially in areas of the country where the economy is dependent on the slaughter of animals. Then the issue gets much hairier, because everyone's personal feelings become involved.

If you listen to some of the remarks she made, I believe she has some unusually strong personal feelings about the meat industry, especially the farmers who make their living there. My guess is that she has been effected deeply by this issue - possibly someone in her family is struggling to make ends meet in this industry. Perhaps a father or brother has poisoned her mind with rants about those "d@mn vegetarians" while floundering economically in a country that has suddenly become more wary of red meat. That kind of thing. My sense is that she has a reason for anger and hurt directed at vegetarians.

Of course I don't know her past at all. But a wise man once said "If we could read the personal history of our enemies, we would find there enough pain and suffering to disarm all hostility." I believe that with all my heart.

[Veganforlife]

:eek:

Yeesh what kind of restaurant did you go to anyway? Mel's Diner? Is Flo still around?

You need to write a letter out exactly as you told us here, but with more paragraphs for readibility, and send it certified mail to the restaurant's manager. Actually your responses to the waitstaff is not necessary, just write out what she said to you and your kids.

I am shocked that you were treated that way.

Unbelievable.

I would have left because who knows what would wind up in your food if you'd have told her off.

I totally agree with Sharon. You NEED to write a letter - send it certified. That should not be tolerated. You are PAYING them to provide a meal for you.
Yes, I agree too that you totally did the right thing and have done the right thing with raising your children with an understanding of the slaughtering of cattle. You should read Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation. Great book! A real eye opener.
Also, it is very disturbing, but let it go. That gal has some issues.
I have never had a problem when going out to eat. However, I rarely go out (to eat)...I go out. I'm not a hermit...LOL!
Hang in there. You did good kid!!!

[Lay-Lay]

so much for her earning a tip, LOL!

[DavidZaneMason]

My opinion(s):

-I'm not defending the actions of your waitress - and I agree with the above posts that you should always go direct to the manager....and not bandy idle words with the waitress or un-ruly staff.

-On the other hand, this problem is always going to be present when you expect others to accomodate you - specifically at restaurants.

-One who is eating well simply cannot expect those who are eating very poorly (traditionally) to understand or be able to accomodate THEIR choices. This applies to individuals - but most especially to restaurants.

-I go to restaurants all the time - but I always bring my own food - or just do not eat. I have never encountered a problem. If asked, I have always simply responded that I am on a very special diet. The staff is always very understanding while I munch on a few grapes or bananas. Some times they even have whole fruit and will bring it - but this is certainly not a requirement. Other times, I simply order a glass of water (and then don't drink it! Ha! ha!) and spend my time with my loved ones...which is why I'm there in the first place.

-Sun Tzu said something like (paraphrase): If you find yourself on a battlefield....facing an enemy.....then you lost a long time ago.

-LOL. It's true! One should never even precipitate that kind of encounter.

-The watchword for the raw food person should be preparation.....along with understanding and compassion for those who do not understand. They'll have a hard enough time without me coming down on thier heads or getting them fired from their $6.40 / hr job! Better to avoid that - I think.

-What do you think?

-David Mason

[rawnora]

Angeline,
It's not too late for you to contact the manager of the restaurant. There are many people dependent on our exploitive 'food' distribution system for their livelihoods, most likely including that waitress's family/husband/friends. Her loyalty to an unsustainable, despicable industry does not give her the right to use her boss's business as a forum from which to support its continued existence. I'm sure her boss would love to hear about your experience. If you live in an area that is dominated by the animal agriculture industry, the manager might be of the same ilk but at least then you'll know to avoid that restaurant in the future.

A person would not attack another for the reasons she was pretending to have -- that she's concerned that your kids aren't getting enough protein, etc. She has to have felt personally threatened by what you're teaching your kids. Noting this distinction is only one of many lessons that your kids can learn from a situation like this.

Best wishes,
Nora
www.RawSchool.com

[misslinda]

:eek:

Yeesh what kind of restaurant did you go to anyway? Mel's Diner? Is Flo still around?

You need to write a letter out exactly as you told us here, but with more paragraphs for readibility, and send it certified mail to the restaurant's manager. Actually your responses to the waitstaff is not necessary, just write out what she said to you and your kids.

I am shocked that you were treated that way.

Unbelievable.

I would have left because who knows what would wind up in your food if you'd have told her off.

if you are compelled to go this route, take Sharon's advice and contact the chamber of commerce too.

the minute service is bad, walk out---you don't even want to imagine what [actually] goes on in the kitchen.


Every restaurant I've been in the past has always accomodated and at times, the cook was brought out too--for complete understanding. Depends on where you go. Be selective about where to eat.

[D'vorah]

Yeesh what kind of restaurant did you go to anyway? Mel's Diner? Is Flo still around?

hahahaaaa, I was thinking the same thing!!

I can understand her not getting it. I can understand her messing up the order. But questioning your choices is not her place. Unless that lady owns that restaurant, she needs to have her sorry self fired. Her job is to take orders and deliver food *as ordered*!!! Making commentary on your food choices is inappropriate, making commentary on your parenting in front of your children and TO your children is reprehensible. REPREHENSIBLE!!

I wouldn't hesitate to report her IN FULL to the owner or manager of the restaurant. If it was a chain/big box restaurant, I'd take it to corporate. Your experience was beyond tolerable.

I'm one for biting my tongue and not making a scene, but she went way out of bounds.


Deborah

[fikustree]

I, too, am so sorry that this happened.

An important thing to remember is that she has very different information than you which led to her thinking that what you were doing is harmful. She obviously felt passionatly which led her to think that she should speak up.

Of course, this is not okay. People in the customer service industry are not allowed to question the beliefs of others. I have had a lot of luck telling people that I can't eat, whatever it is, because it is against my religion (it is!) so that seems to take a lot of fire out of thier argument.

Her remarks were so insensitive and hurtful that I think writting some letter will be helpful. I write them all the time. One to her, one to the restraunt, the management, the owner, the newspaper, and especially the corporate office if one exisists. I think your post was very eloquent and you could just copy and paste.

[mongomango]

Wow! How awful for you and your family. I'm sorry you had to endure that.

As a business owner, I appreciate it when my customers tell me their troubles. The alternative is that customer saying nothing and just not patronizing my business any longer. I will never know why they stopped coming if they do that, and I will never be able to fix the problem, or train staff regarding issues customers have if I don't know what those issues are.

Most business owners are HAPPY to hear complaints from customers. We want to keep their business, not lose it, and generally most of us will jump through hoops to make it right for a customer. I am certain that the owner of that restaurant would be happy to hear from you about your ordeal.

I understand people don't want to get other people in trouble, but that person could have driven off many, many customers with her attitude and rude demeanor.

[Sharon in Colorado]

Remember when Flo would say "Well, Kiss Ma Grits!"

And then she'd spell Mississippi with the humpbacks and crooked letters?

Now, I know you people over 36 have got to remember Mel's Diner!

I didn't even think of the religion point of view. What if you were Kosher and could not eat meat outside of your home, or if you were from India and was a vegetarian, or had an allergy. For her to "assume" and point fingers and lay blame is completely out of line.

For whatever reason you ordered exactly how and what you wanted to eat, it was just none of her business. This has been quite irritating, and please, I hope you take some kind of written action, at least, and then tell us what you did and the outcome! We'll all be waiting.

[Revvell]

We'll all be waiting.


Uhhh, no, we wont. lol

[eatyourbroccoli]

you should have walked out

i dont go where my choices arent respected

and i think restaurants in general are kind of dirty and gross. worked in enough of them to know that eating organic food at home is far better.

though i do love karyn's in chicago.... :)

[pinkglttr]

I have never had such an awful experience, especially in a restaurant, and I live in TEXAS!!! Hello BBQ country!

You should copy and paste, then print this post and send it to the manager of the restaurant. I'm sure they'd be QUITE interested!

[Angeline]

The restaurant we went to was way out in a little town outside of Portland near where my husband’s paintball practice was. He's eaten there a few times and thought they had great steak and pot roast. (He is the only one in our family that eats meat) We were supposed to meet there last night after his paintball practice. His practice ran late and he was still going to meet us, however after everything I called him and said let's forget it. We don't usually eat out and when we do it's at places in Southeast Portland where the restaurants are Vegan friendly. Today I printed off a letter relaying what happened and how it made my kids feel. My husband is going to give it to the manager when he goes to practice again on Wednesday. I don't want to get this lady fired or make life worst for her and I made that clear in my letter. I think she has had something happen in her life that caused her to feel so strongly against vegetarians. I don't want to be the cause of her having another reason to dislike them. At the same time I wanted to let the manager know about the issue so that when the next unwelcome vegetarian eats at their restaurant the same thing doesn't happen to them. For good measure I am adding her to my list of people to send peace to when meditating.

I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know my kids did too and I could tell it made them feel better that there are other's out there with similiar views. My daughter wanted to know who Flo was at Mel's diner. I had to tell her about the sitcom. I'm sure they must have a re-run of that show on tv-land sometime. :)

[Sharon in Colorado]

I tried googling an image and this is what it came up with:

"Kiss Ma Grits!"

[misslinda]

OMG, Sharon !!!! Youa re more than funnny...I would have thought the same too ;) Well maybe more worn out clothes and missing teeth :D

[Pailani]

I don't want to get this lady fired or make life worst for her and I made that clear in my letter. I think she has had something happen in her life that caused her to feel so strongly against vegetarians. I don't want to be the cause of her having another reason to dislike them.

You're being a lot nicer about it than I would have been. A waitress's job is to bring the customer what s/he orders, or explain why it's not do-able in that particular restaurant. Period. Her job never includes criticizing or challenging the customer's choices.

[Rawzula]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[juliebove]

We went out to eat over the weekend and tried to order our salad without chicken, eggs, bacon & dressing. The lady looked at me like I spoke a foreign language. I repeated myself and she said okay, do you want ham? I repeated that I didn't want any meat. Would you believe that she asked me three more times if I wanted chicken? After saying a firm NO she went to another waitress like surely she wasn't understanding me and the lady asked us if that was what we WERE wanting and we were like YES, NO CHICKEN, Can you do that here? Finally, we got our order with two different kinds of dressing on the side!! I guess they just couldn't imagine it. I guess they didn't even notice a big bottle of home made dressing on the table!! ;)

I get the dressing one all the time. I don't eat dressing. I don't like it. Never have. I've had people push me to eat it, assuring me that I'll love it! Each time I do, I want to kick myself for ruining a good salad. Love salad. Hate dressing. I don't care what kind! But what really floors me is when I explain that my daughter can't have croutons (which she loves)cheese, or dressing because she is allergic and then they still bring them but on the side. Sometimes they'll even make it worse by saying that it looked like her salad "needed" something.

Sometimes I think when people like something, they just can't fathom that other people might not. My husband is one of the worst offenders. He's a super big meat eater. He'll take us to some restaurant starting out by saying "You're going to LOVE this place!" That's always a warning to me. It's usually a steak place. I can usually find something to eat at most places, but a steak place isn't usually one of them.

[Wendee]

Nobody has the right to talk to you in that manner.
Doesn't she realize you are hiring HER, and not the other way around??

The manager needs to know. I am sure she has done this to others, too. It's time to stop her. The manager should be grateful to you for telling him.

What if you and your family had severe allergies, and you didn't want to explain that to the waitress? It is none of her business what you choose to eat and why. As for your children, she was waaayyyy outta line telling YOU how to raise/feed your own children! They aren't hers, and it's none of her business what you feed them.


wendee

[Sharon in Colorado]

Quite a while ago before I was even a vegetarian I had a friend who always ordered salad without the dressing. She said she liked to taste the salad. She was very cut and dry about it so no one ever questioned her or tried to push anything on her. I forgot all about her until this discussion came up.

[star1919]

Wow... Really surprised at your waitress... that she wasn't able to simply honor your choices... You handled yourself with such grace... what a kind and loving example you are for your kids... :D

And, Sharon... You're sooo funny! :D
(By the way... your website is great!)

[PATH301]

Wow... Really surprised at your waitress... that she wasn't able to simply honor your choices... You handled yourself with such grace... what a kind and loving example you are for your kids... - I agree, with what star1919, has said. There are times you may want to respond differently, but it's important to maintain that good example for your children.

[light food]

I've come across lot's of restaurant workers who have been burned by vegans.

One Subway sandwich maker would ask "no cheese?" several times throughout the making of my sandwich, this would happen several times a month. Eventually I just took it off after I got the sandwich.

At another place where they grill the sandwiches in front of you at a mall, I asked for a sandwich with no cheese and the griller huffily cleaned a spot on the grill (I hadn't asked him too) and made my sandwich on that spot. I remember this incident as being a bit embarrasing, I think it was because it held up the line.

And, the peace-de-resistance, I ordered soup and when it came the waitress lowered it very slowly and then very carefully tipped it a little and spilled some on my lap. Of course she appologized. I still haven't figured that one out. I don't remember ever talking to her before. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity. But, hubby agreed with me that she did it deliberately.

Vegans only hurt themselves when they alienate people. :(

[littleangelbear]

I have food sensitivities besides being a raw foodist so I just don't even say anything about it to the server...I know where to eat and what's on the menu and they are used to me :) My Thai place makes me a raw apple salad that is 98 percent raw :)

I was at a college town bar and they made me the nicest salad off the menu...I left the waitress a $5 tip.

I guess I haven't had any problems...

I think though I see both sides because I've been a waitress, but yet, I believe there should be good professionalism too...Maybe your waitress just had a bad day...not to excuse her behavior though.

[juliebove]

I've come across lot's of restaurant workers who have been burned by vegans.

One Subway sandwich maker would ask "no cheese?" several times throughout the making of my sandwich, this would happen several times a month. Eventually I just took it off after I got the sandwich.

At another place where they grill the sandwiches in front of you at a mall, I asked for a sandwich with no cheese and the griller huffily cleaned a spot on the grill (I hadn't asked him too) and made my sandwich on that spot. I remember this incident as being a bit embarrasing, I think it was because it held up the line.

And, the peace-de-resistance, I ordered soup and when it came the waitress lowered it very slowly and then very carefully tipped it a little and spilled some on my lap. Of course she appologized. I still haven't figured that one out. I don't remember ever talking to her before. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity. But, hubby agreed with me that she did it deliberately.

Vegans only hurt themselves when they alienate people. :(

It could be that he was instructed to clean that spot for people with food allergies. For us, cross contamination can be annoying if not deadly! It's easy to avoid obvious sources of an allergen, but it's those tiny specks of things we can't see that get us.

[Befronia]

I haven't been "attacked" as such, but I have been discriminated against. Before I started eating raw, I was eating in a Japanese style restaurant. The preparer thought it was funny that I mistook the beef broth for soy sauce (he had been made aware I was a vegetarian). Needless to say, I didn't tip. I should have refused to pay since I had put the broth on my rice and stir-fry and couldn't eat them. I complained to the management. Maybe I could have faked an allergic attack? But I'm not that kind of person...

Another time, I called a restaurant ahead to see what was available. When I stated I don't eat meat, the man laughed and said I was calling the wrong place. At least he was honest. Most of my experiences have been good ones, though. I've had some interesting conversations with the wait staff and chefs.

[Pailani]

If a person has some kind of past issues that make them feel justified in harassing customers for what they order, they shouldn't be in food service. It's the wrong line of work for them. We live in a world where so many people have allergies, and a careless or resentful person allowing the wrong kind of food on their plate could be deadly. Special orders are pretty routine these days, and shouldn't be a big problem.

[lissomllama]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that negativity. You handled it well. I probably would have ended up getting very angry and asking to speak with a manager. How shocking that she was so rude and pushy toward you and your darling children. Obviously that woman is just insecure about her own choices. Not yours.

I know what you mean about the animals. I feel the exact same way. I don't understand how people can hurt living creatures. I just can't fathom it. When I was little, my parents served me meat all the time and I never really knew what it was. When I found out, I was confused and horrified to know that I was actually eating the flesh of an animal. It still gives me chills to this day.

I live in a semi rural area of california so I get mixed reactions. Luckily there is alot of agriculture here so fruits and veggies are available and california in general is pretty vegan-friendly, but there are also alot of old-fashioned meat-eaters and old okie folks here so it can be a double edged sword. I always have an easy time getting what I want when I order though. I think it's because I am sure of what I want. I don't ever sound like I'm hesitating. I just say, loudly and clearly: "I'll have a nice big salad with no meat, no dressing, no cheese and no croutons and instead, I'd like to have tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, onions and a sliced avocado." I've never had an issue with that. Sometimes they ask again about the dressing once and I just firmly reply that I don't want any. And I always say it in a tone as if to say "Dressing?? Who would want that?!" I'm always p[atient and kind with my order but nevertheless, perfectly clear and adamant and I've never had a problem that way.