Getting along in a SAD world...

[star1919]

Hi... As I've changed my lifestyle so much... I find it does feel a bit different at times... with social and family sitations etc.

At times it has felt uncomfortable... especially when someone else has cooked a special dinner or for holidays etc. I appreciate their efforts... but want to stay on my path... At first, I would have just a few bites of some of what was there... but that wasn't a good solution for me.

I've learned to simply mention that fresh salads and fruit are great! I usually offer to fix a salad or something for the group... that often works well. For other situations like parties etc... when I don't know the people as well... I usually eat before I go. And, sometimes take a few apple slices or small carrots with me, tucked in my purse. Then, I am prepared... if there isn't anything I can eat. It isn't always easy but, I keep my focus on the conversation and other things.

I've found it easier to use words like I prefer and mostly eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Otherwise, I've ended up in conversations that were too long for these kind of situations. I find it best to not justify or over explain my choices. Unless someone is truly interested for themselves, I don't talk about it. Sometimes they are... mentioning how good my skin looks etc. Then, I'll mention it briefly... and offer to share more later.

Mostly... I have found what works best for me... is to be very honoring of other people's choices for lifestyle and food. Being honoring of them feels good... And, the more honoring I am of others... it seems it is easier for them to be honoring of my choices.

What have your experiences been? What are things you do in these situations?

[Sharon in Colorado]

I know what you mean.

In actuality we're not the ones who are eating so extreme.

My kids begged me to get a recipe for this "dirt cake" they had and loved...when I finally got it, I see it is made out of oreos, butter, cream cheese, whipped "topping", sugar, vanilla pudding, and milk. I am not sure what to do with this. I know if I make it (on someone's next birthday) with "real" whipped cream and possibly some organic substitions, my kids will not like it "as much" as the one they had before. I find it frustrating that they were fed this artificial processed concotion and it will remain in their taste bud memory bank as loong as they live.

What does this have to do with your post - well, the fact that this recipe is an extreme, abnormal way to fuel our bodies. We are really supposed to be eating to live, not the other way around. When people see that you are intelligently living, you will earn respect and remembered as the grounded, real person you are.

[Linda1970]

Hi Star,

I feel all the things you have described. You gave some great tips, and I also truly believe that honoring other's lifestyle is very important. Thanks for sharing.

[fiddler]

The farther along I get on the "health" journey, the easier it becomes to deal with said social situations.

I agree with you about honoring others choices. Most people really don't care about how you're eating. Deep down they just want their way of eating to be validated. So, if you care, really care, about the other person; that person will pick up on your love and understanding and spare you any kind of confrontation about your food choices.

I usually just try to say "I've already eaten" or some variation like that to escape at all costs a confrontation. If a confrontation does arise, I try to be as pleasant as possible and to respect the other person's viewpoint by listening to their concerns. Sometimes this can be difficult; but after all, most of us were in the same place at one time before we found our raw, "health" journey.

I like to lump "diet" in with the other conversation topics to avoid -- "religion" and "politics" :)

Cheers,
Fiddler

[DavidZaneMason]

My experience:

-I always BRING fruit plates to parties and social gatherings. They always clean the plate! Ha! ha!

-When going to restaurants and dinner parties.....I always eat before I go...and usually bring a couple of apples in my pockets! :)

-Worst case scenario is that I go to a pre-prepared luncheon.....in which case I just inform them that I'm not eating....and I order a glass of water to be polite (but I don't drink THAT either! Ha! ha!).

-If asked politely...then I say that I am not eating...and am there to spend time with THEM. If asked why I am not eating......I tell them I'm on a special diet! Ha! ha! It's true!

-Last night, I'm sitting in Don Pepe with my family while they order cuban steak and fried plantains! Ha! ha! I support THEM! In a weird way...it's kind of funny. It's like a sane man watching a group of people jump up and down on a rattlesnake and ask you......why aren't you joining in?! LOL.

-Just my thoughts / opinions.

-David Mason

[fiddler]

-Last night, I'm sitting in Don Pepe with my family while they order cuban steak and fried plantains! Ha! ha! I support THEM! In a weird way...it's kind of funny. It's like a sane man watching a group of people jump up and down on a rattlesnake and ask you......why aren't you joining in?! LOL. LOL ... That's so hilarious!!! And so true!!!

Thanks for the laugh...

Fiddler

[asil]

Mostly... I have found what works best for me... is to be very honoring of other people's choices for lifestyle and food. Being honoring of them feels good... And, the more honoring I am of others... it seems it is easier for them to be honoring of my choices.



This is a very thoughtful and compassionate way to look at raw as we live in the world. Thank you for posting. This is my 2nd time around on raw and this time I've met with absolutely zero resistance. I think people just don't want to feel judged and if we're always describing and explaining what we're doing, then we end up making them feel defensive. I do the same thing you describe, often saying something like, "Oh, I just can't get enough fresh produce right now. I'll explain more later if you really want me too." Most of the time, it never comes up again and we just happily continue with what we're doing. Nobody likes to feel they're recieving a lecture from a know-it-all in the middle of their dinner. Now if someone *really* wants to know, I'm happy to share.
:D

[star1919]

Yes... it would be more of a challenge with kids. What a gift to offer them eating healthy as part of their experience!

Thanks for the comments... helps to have more ways to handle social and family gatherings. :)

David... you're very funny! Had me laughing...
(Sharon in Colorado is funny too... if you've read some of her posts)

Anyone else's experiences and ideas would be wonderful...

Thanks all... Have a great holiday weekend! :D

[Justdoingit]

It's kind of interesting when you follow a raw lifestyle to watch others eat. I still cook for my kids but more healthy choices now, low fat and at least 50% of their diet is now raw. However, watching my boyfriend eat all that garbage now makes my stomach turn, within 30 minutes after eating a big SAD meal, he is complaining of a full stomach, and is sleepy and has no energy. I can have a huge bowl of fruit, or a big salad, my stomach is full but I feel lite and full of energy. I have friends who know exactly how bad my health has been the last year and what I have gone thru and they cannot believe the change in just a couple of weeks, and when I tell them it's a combo of raw food and juicing they look at me like I have lost what is left of my marbles.. They can't imagine eating this way, but have to admit the difference it has made in me...
Then they run off to the drugstore to pick up more vitamin supplements that they don't need. Maybe one day they will see the light.