Soda,candy,icecream,junk food

[fruit]

:mad: I am so frustrated,I keep trying to feed my kids healthy raw foods and everytime i turn around somebody is giving them junk.Well my daughter still can't swallow but even before i would catch the both of my kids with chips,soda,candy,icecream and other crap,I ask them were they get it and they say there friends or there daddy(my husband).Also i feed them at home healthy and then they go to school and eat with there friends.My husband is always giving them soda and i am screaming at him telling him they dont need it but he thinks its fine and it will not hurt them.
I have told them over and over that that the junk they keep sneaking is bad for them but at 8 and 10 when all your friends around you have it they want it to.I amjust so frustrated and i dont know how to stop them,I tell them if i catch them eating that junk that they will have to come inside for the day but is that even right to do?
I was arguing with my son a while ago because he wanted to go eat enchilladas at his friends house and i told him no your having organic fruit salad and salad and he was so mad and told me i never let hgim do anything..
Well i just wanted to vent some i guess sorry you all and to listen i just am fustrated like i said...

[sungoddess]

I am 18 and grew up with a mother who was not raw, but very into health food (organic, whole etc.) and strongly wished for me not to eat junk either. The house was stocked with fruits, vegetables, grains and even a supply of organic "junk". But because the rest of my friends were getting to eat cheeze-wiz and lunchables, I felt so denied, EVEN though I had free reign at friends houses and family gatherings and so on. She was not obsessed with stopping me from eating those things, but I knew that she silently dissaproved of them. As much as my mother tried to lead me in the right path at a young age, the denial actually led me to a binge eating disorder. I wasn't even denied at all. In middle school and high school I would have anything I wanted at school. I am lucky that I have come around and am now doing raw to rid myself of health problems, but for me, denial was a BIG issue. Not every kid will start bingeing like me, but many do. The point is that this day and age, with all of the media focus on making crap food "cool" for kids, denial can lead to feeling left out and emotional problems. I had a perfectly normal high school career. I am was only about 15 lbs over MY ideal weight (which is thin), and within government standards of normal weight. No one would have even KNOWN that I was a binge eater.

My advice would be to keep your home as healthy as possible (for your sake, and theirs) and to simply guide, but not restrict. They WILL probably go hog-wild. After years of "feeling denied what other kids eat" they will take a long time to come around and see the truth about food and health. You will always be ion the back of their minds as they grow up before they decide to join you. Give them time, normally without a serious reason (health problem) it is very hard to live a lifestyle that is so different from the majority of the population ESPECIALLY in middle school and high school. Wait for them to join you so they can enjoy it. After all, I eventually joined my mother. I am in college now which seems like another four years of pressure to eat crap and party all night... which for most it is. Luckily for me I am at NYU studying musical theater so I am lucky to be where I am, with the mindset that I have. I have faith that your children will eventually join you on a quest for health and happiness... but until then, denial can be dangerous...

BEST of luck. I hope this was somewhat enlightening (probably not what you wanted to hear though...)

[SparklePlenty]

Honestly, I hear your frustration, but all that negative energy is creating a power struggle. It might be good for you to be "selfish" about feeling good and eating well yourself. So, fire yourself from being the 'raw food police', tell them they are responsible for what they choose to put into their bodies and that you LOVE them! xxxooo

If you hold it all loosely, then you can relax and trust that you ARE a dominant role model for your kids (and your husband too :) ) and know that it's very likely that they will eventually follow your lead. But no one likes to be strong armed into doing something 'for their own good', ya know?

So your job and the way to influence them the most, is to hold the vision of them radiant, healthy, happy and raw, and imagine that day when you see them CHOOSE to eat raw foods, and leave SAD behind. Find the feeling place of THAT every day and watch what happens!

Find the best feeling place in you, enjoy your raw journey and trust that everyone is learning what they need to learn.

You are their teacher and can lead by example much more powerfully than by force.

Love
Jan

[juliebove]

I've had this problem too. It's easier for me now that we know of my daughter's food allergies. Much of what people "might" give her is stuff she is allergic to. And now she is very careful not to eat something that might make her sick.

Prior to knowing of the allergies, people felt I was being mean to her by not letting her eat or drink what they other kids had. I was told by some people that kids should be allowed to eat what they want and that the drink was "juice" when in fact it was some blend of high fructose corn syrup, perhaps with a bit of juice added. Now granted, most of these same people who were giving her stuff (or attempting to) I didn't want her to have were also giving her good stuff like apples. Of course they would give her the apple in front of me, but would often sneak the other stuff to her. I didn't like this and she didn't like it either. She felt bad if she turned down the food, not wanting to offend the giver. She felt worse if she told the person that *I* didn't want her to have it, only to have them tell her that what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. But if she ate the food, she felt bad not only for having to conceal it from me but felt bad physically as well!

What I do that works now and used to work sometimes in the past was to send her out of the house with food and drinks. If she were to be going to a place with other kids, I sent extra for them so they could have what she was having if they wanted some. Now sometimes the food would come back uneaten. Sometimes they'd feed her stuff anyway. I'd always know because she'd come home and refuse to eat dinner since she'd been so stuffed full of food elsewhere.

Her own dad was the worst offender. I have pictures of her when she was 2 or 3 years old. He'd sneak her out of the house in her pajamas before I'd even gotten up for the day and take her to some coffee shop where he'd stuff her full of donuts. He made the mistake of taking pictures of her eating them. He'd then try to deny that it happened, yet the pictures were right there. He always got her two huge donuts and then denied any responsibility for it saying that the lady behind the counter just "gave" them to her. And this may well have been true because people are always trying to give her food wherever we go. But as I told him, you can always say "no"!

Prior to learning of the food allergies, I did try to make sure that she ate a balanced diet but I also made allowances. For instance if she were at a birthday party and the only drink available was soda, I'd let her have it. Now with the food allergies her diet is so limited that she hasn't the luxury of occasional treats like birthday cake unless it is something I make from home or pay a fortune for from a special bakery. She doesn't like to feel sick so she is very careful with her diet.

[luckitri]

Even if you pack them a good lunch they will trade for the junk they want. I don't even try. I just hope that my son will turn on his own as he matures. He always wanted standard SAD from the earliest age. My family's idea of a vegetable is a french fry with their meat. My hubby started eating salads and I recently got him off the iceberg lettuce. How much is TV advertising, other kids, school, my hubby, and his tastebuds - I don't know. I just don't battle it anymore. Once in awhile I make progress. Hubby wanted me to go to drugstore to buy chemical laxative. I know this is not raw but I made him some serious slippery elm paste with honey and cinnamon. He respected the result....so progress in little bits.....the more I learn .... the more arsenal I will have when they need it....or are ready.

[Draginvry]

This is very important, I cannot stress this enough:

DO NOT FORCE YOUR KIDS TO DO THINGS.

Seriously.

Not only will they not do what you want them to, but they will make a point of it.

I grew up not wanting to be too uncool, although it is generally agreed that I was uncool anyway. I didn't care what I ate. I drank sodas constantly. My teeth are living proof, or dying proof, as it were. But that is what gives me my strength. It is because of my poor lifestyle that I can appreciate my lifestyle now. It is because of being sick and tired that I now know how valuable life truly is. It is only in understanding the depths of pain that one can know what joy truly is.

Your kids will take control of their diet in due time. All you can do is give them the best that you have to offer, and pray that they wise up faster than most people.

[Sharon in Colorado]

With kids you really have to make eating raw FUN not a chore.

Trust me, I have a 12, 11 and 7 year old and they do not like to eat raw all of the time. They want to have their junk here and there.

But I don't yell or threaten them.

Here are some tips:

1) Show some excitement when you make a new raw recipe.

2) When you eat something raw, make sure you show how much you LOVE eating it.

3) Refrain from negative thoughts and words toward them or loved ones/friends who feed them cooked food.

4) Be an example. When they see how wonderful you look and feel eating fresh food, it will be contagious.

5) Don't use food as a punishment/reward. I find this the most challenging, because it seems easy to use it as a bargaining tool. By 'rewarding' good behaviour with junk food, or 'punishing' them by taking away their food or other privileges because they ate junk food, they will resent you and eventually rebel against you.

6) Teach them how to read the food labels. Ask them what the ingredients are, how many grams of sugar and fat are in the products. Ask them if they know what the ingredients mean, and what they think it would be doing to their bodies.

7) You have to compromise if your hubby isn't with you on this. My dh support raw and what I am doing, but because he does not want to do all raw himself, the children follow suit. My dh has tried raw for 10 days, but he didn't like it. He eats a LOT of raw, and many times he even requests fruit dinners, but he still wants to have some cooked every now and then. So unless your husband wants to be 100% raw with you, you do have to compromise with the children.

8) Be happy - you are in this for the long run, yes?

9) Always start their day off with fruit, or a fruit smoothie and start their dinners off with salad. This will instill a love for fresh foods.

10) Relax.......

[fruit]

Thank you all for your replies :)

But how can i just sit back and let my children do this to there bodies when there are so many people in this world with disease,Who is to say that if i don't make them eat the healthy coices them they will ever want to eat that way.
For instince look at todays children(i am not trying to talk bad about anyone,i dont mean to offend)I see children all the time making there own choices and there feeding there selfs Mcdonalds,taco bell,junk food and everything else..Today there is so much obesity and disease among our young and it is because we let our children make there own choices in what they want to eat.
Now don't get me wrong i was that parent for many years.All i would feed my kids were fast food and my kids used to be sick with the flu and cold every single month.Now that i make them eat healthier (my kids still eat junk) not what i would like them to eat.But apossed to before they now eat fruit and or salad/veggie and mainly every meal.When before it was fast food.They are hardly ever sick now just from that change.
The only reason i try and force healthy foods on them is because i fear them getting disease and if i don't force it on them they would choose to live on burger king and taco bell :eek:

Oh yea i forgot to mention my kids are not 100% raw they are only about 50% so techically i am letting them eat junk food too,they are not vegan and i would never force that on to them...

[Pierre]

Think of it this way. Your kids are scientists. They are doing experiments with themselves as the subjects. They eat raw and they notice how it makes them feel. Then they eat junk and notice how it makes them feel. Eventually they will learn that, to stay healthy, they should avoid junk. So don't force them; they have enough good food, and enough good sense, that they can figure it out on their own.

[luckitri]

I really like Sharons suggestions. For me I just know to be an example. My men are very obstinate so I am concerned for but all I can do is be ready to help them when they are ready. Right now they think that men need more meat and bread (carb) than women. For my husband with his health this is a serious concern but there is nothing that I can do other than make the good stuff available and watch it rot week after week. When they are younger and more suggestable you have more options. I have spent alot of money and effort making coconut blends and all kinds of fruit smoothies and every kid loves them and I can give them to every kid on the street but my son will still refuse them. Then I can get him interested in something good and all it takes is for one kid to go "ewww" and my son is done. For a few years now he prefaces everything with "Is it healthy?" or "Is it educational?" letting me know that if it is he doesn't want it. However surprising things have happened in the school. They have a health class of some sort and they taught the bad things about aspartame and he came home and talked about it alot but it didn't cure his dad from his bad choices. Now they are taking the junk food out of the schools (well the really junky food) so he can't go buy some junk and save from his lunch money for illicit purchases. This kid of mine is very stubborn. When I have tried to put him in charter school - the first thing he didn't like was not having a cafeteria with school lunch and he griped about it for the whole year. Can't push him - can't trick him - can't coerce him - can't persuade - he will have to come to it on his own.

[spicyfull]

Hope you are feelin' better and that they will soon understand that you only want what is best for them............