Stuck up for myself...

[dreamrawalwz]

This is probably nothing big, but the few of you that do know me...I'm very shy and let people walk all over me. I get "used and abused" emotionally and alwyas feel belittled whenever I say something that i've researched and believe is to be correct, but the other people that are ignorant (that word sounds too harsh) and havn't done an ounce of research say I'm wrong. Anyway, this is the very first time I've stuck up formyself and havn't deleted it (yet, I always end up doing so because I'm afraid). It was to my former best friend. She thinks chemicals, addatives, and whatever else they can stuff into "food" is ok for the body and if it wasn't then we'd be dead. She also said this reguarding the homemade cat food I made. Here is how the livejournal conversation went:

HER- "So I was thinking the other day about parents and there kids, and there are a lot of kids and parents who don't get along at all. I find that really shocking since I've gotten along with my parents for the most part. So is it the parents who are just becoming bad parents and not doing there parenting jobs or is it that parents are doing they're parenting and kids are just becoming brats and idiots and are just going to ruin the future. Kind of scary to think that we're the future when I look at some of the people I know. We're going to be screwed."

ME- "I think it has to do with society and honestly...look at what chemicals are put into our food supply that affects our brain chemistry. There is WAY too much technology these days so kids don't have to do much to get by as they have in the past. They can sit on their buts all day and eat junk food while the video games "stimulate" their minds while 'back in the day' TV was very limited, rules were enforced, family time was regular, ect."

HER- "so kids being brats have to do with what people put in foods? I think your evolving your life to much around food."

ME (this is the response that I'm afraid to leave posted, let me know what you think ok and please don't be mean...?) - "Please don't take this personally, this is not an attack on anyone's particular lifestlye, just me rambling and annoyed at the general public not knowing this stuff (so not at you directly so please don't get upset):

I'm going to stick up for myself on this one. I've done TONS of research. I know my stuff. It's obvious and very logical. ADD/ADHD/Autism are more rampant, most isn't real. More and more kids are living off processed crap and fast food LOADED with chemicals, addatives, preservatives....and you think that DOESN"T have an affect on the body? Come on. MOST, if not all children with the above "illnesses" remove sugar, wheat, and animal products from their diet, have the illness mysteriously dissappear and they get healed. Preservatives, dyes, chemicals, addatives, ect. are NOT for human consumption. You may ask then "why aren't we dead?" well it's because our bodies have adapted, but not completely...look at all the disease, cancer, ect. becoming more prevalent. It's NOT genetic...part is, but mostly it's a crock and excuse. Did you know that the general public says that most cancer is genetic...only 1-2% really is. The rest is diet. If we were adapted to these foods then we would be disease free, think about it. I'm sorry if this upsets you, but if you havn't done the research so please donn't say i'm wrong (which is bascially waht you've done). This is my passion, healing others through diet and a hollistic approach. "

That is information to me that is just there if you look how our society is developing, changing, and growing. Some info is also from David Wolfe lectures.

P.S. I'm even a little tentative to post this here. I really hope it doesn't sound rude, abrasive, or whatever. I'm just frustrated with her and other people's ignorance saying they're correcect. BTW, she eats only fast food and processed foods so that could be why...i don't want to sound like i'm attacking her (or any of you!!). If this is inappropriate please let me know and I"ll remove it from here and on LJ.

[DavidZaneMason]

Awesome. Very inspiring! You got guts girl.

-David Mason

[Judy]

It sounds good and I think it would make sense to most, no, probably all people on this board. You vented your opinion and it is a sane one. Not everyone in the 'normal' world may understand or appreciate it (yet), but that doesn't mean you can't have an opinion. You didn't say anything weird, stupid or offensive. You go!

Maybe you're not waiting for my advice, but if you have problems with sticking up for yourself, this may be a very good exercise (I didn't invent it myself, I read it somewhere, tried it and am still doing it, and can guarantee it works).

Repeat the following affirmation, whether out loud or in your head, like 300 times a day, for about one month (I'm not kidding! I never even got to 50 per day and not even a month, but it still had impact, and I still use it nowadays when I really need it): 'I appreciate myself'. Repeat this to yourself time after time, especially in situations in which other people belittle your existence or in situations in which you just shrivel away. If you do this exercise repeatedly, in time you will notice that you can say this to yourself in whatever difficult situation you may be, and really mean it. Then you know that you are truly starting to change and that you are learning to appreciate yourself more and getting stronger.

[fruit]

You go Girl!!!

[berrymarymac]

Good for you!

But I have ADD and I know it wasn't because of my diet, my dad has it, etc etc. So it is genetic in some instances. I do think that many things can be fixed with diet, or help with, like autism and ADHD. I just can't concentrate well at all...never have been able to really.

[Revvell]

As fruit said: "You go GIRL!

You're not attacking ~ you're giving information. Don't be surprised if she or someone else perceives it as being attacked. That's how they ignore the message.

And might I add, I wish I knew what you know when I was your age. Sure would have saved a lot of physical, mental and emotional problems ~ if I'd have listened, of course. :)

Revvell

[dreamrawalwz]

Good for you!

But I have ADD and I know it wasn't because of my diet, my dad has it, etc etc. So it is genetic in some instances. I do think that many things can be fixed with diet, or help with, like autism and ADHD. I just can't concentrate well at all...never have been able to really.

Oh of course. Not all are diet related, but may be assisted with diet. I mean, I'm sure genetically there is a reason, but if you add junk food and fast food all day long would it get worse? Has raw helped any?

[being]

...I think your evolving your life to much around food."


I had this very same comment recently, and instead of sticking up for myself like you so wonderfully did for yourself, I burst into to tears and let them get to me... you're right, maybe I do have a problem, maybe I DO let my life revolve around food... sigh.

Thank you for sharing this dreamrawalwz, because it was a GIGANTIC inspiration to me (and has given me some ideas of what to say, how to say it etcetera) :D

Thank you Thank you! Next time I will have the courage and strength to do like you did... :o

[dreamrawalwz]

I had this very same comment recently, and instead of sticking up for myself like you so wonderfully did for yourself, I burst into to tears and let them get to me... you're right, maybe I do have a problem, maybe I DO let my life revolve around food... sigh.

Thank you for sharing this dreamrawalwz, because it was a GIGANTIC inspiration to me (and has given me some ideas of what to say, how to say it etcetera) :D

Thank you Thank you! Next time I will have the courage and strength to do like you did... :o

Wow thank you so much. I never have seen myself as inspiration for anyone. I'm glad I can help you out! This was a huge step for me and I'm still a little anxious as to what her response will be (she's on vacation so I get to be anxious until Monday). I shouldn't be worried though right? I mean, she's no longer really my friend, so why should I worry? I just hate dissappointing others, making them upset at me, ect. Am I too nice?

[Revvell]

I just hate dissappointing others, making them upset at me, ect. Am I too nice?

That's part of your challenge. Did any of these people put you in charge of their feelings? How are YOU "making" her, or anyone else upset? She can choose how to respond with the information you give her.

I don't mean to consciously do something mean and nasty (what you did wasn't by the way) yet, there's a line between taking care of oneself and letting others take care of themselves.

The world would be a happier place if people leave others to their othernesses and take care of themselves.

[Rawkinlocs]

Girl, that was an AWESOME reply and I'm so glad you stuck up for yourself on that! I applaud you...it wasn't rude or disrespectful or anything remotely like that...it was the TRUTH.

So, what was HER response to your dynamic response?

[Revvell]

*whispers to Rawkin' ) She's on vacation. :p


This was a huge step for me and I'm still a little anxious as to what her response will be (she's on vacation so I get to be anxious until Monday).

[PDMagnusen]

YAY!! You rock, Tracey! I'm glad you stood up for yourself and your beliefs! You deserve to be heard just as much as anyone else :)

[Rawkinlocs]

*whispers to Rawkin' ) She's on vacation. :p

Ooopsie! Guess that's what I get for skimming and not reading the whole post! :o

[juliebove]

Good for you!

But I have ADD and I know it wasn't because of my diet, my dad has it, etc etc. So it is genetic in some instances. I do think that many things can be fixed with diet, or help with, like autism and ADHD. I just can't concentrate well at all...never have been able to really.

I think some people really do have ADD or ADHD and some are misdiagnosed. My dad and husband both have ADHD. I also have/had some friends and coworkers who have it and a the son of a friend who has it. When the school tried to tell me that my daughter had it, I didn't believe it. I knew the odds were with a parent and a grandparent that had it it was likely she would too. But her behavior and the way she did things was not in any way like what they did.

Further testing revealed food allergies. Once she eliminated those things from her diet, she was able to concentrate.

I also know in the case of Autism, there is much we still don't know. Many people with autism respond favorably to the Feingold diet which eliminates dairy and wheat. There is probably more to it than that. I do believe it is a whole food type diet.

[dreamrawalwz]

Ya know, I didn't realize how much of an issue this would be for me. On the way home from Jujitsu I started hyperventilating for fear of waht she will respond with and think of me. WHY DO I EVEN CARE!?

[juliebove]

I think we have two separate issues here. Kids and parents not getting along is one issue. Diet is another. And I don't think there is any one answer to either thing.

First the kids and parents issue. My daughter is 8. I feel that she is plenty old enough to help out around the house. She feels that she shouldn't have to do anything other than what she wants. Oh, she will help willingly sometimes but what she wants to do isn't necessarily what needs to be done. For instance, today I told her I needed her to help put her laundry away. She got angry and refused to do it. We talked about it for a while and in the end she did help and wasn't nasty about it.

However, I felt frustrated because I have a lot of things to do today and didn't really have the time to sit down and discuss why she needed to help out. Now perhaps her doing this was her way of getting my attention that she wouldn't ordinarily have gotten because I *was* so busy. I really don't know.

I also asked her why she does what she is told at my mom's house but not my house. "Because", she replied, "grandma is meaner than you are!" Now this really isn't true, but she has told stories of the old days and what happened to kids who didn't do what they were told. The punishments varied from family to family, such as beatings, whippings, lack of a meal, being sent away to work and the wages earned sent directly to the family, standing or sitting in the corner for hours at a time, being humiliated in some way by having their long hair cut off or having to wear a sign advertising what they did wrong. Then of course is the being "grounded" or "restricted". That is still used today by some families but I think has less meaning than it used to, mainly because so much is available to us today and at any time we want it!

As for the food, it's very easy to blame chemicals and such. And yet they've been around for many, many years. This is not a new thing.

[dreamrawalwz]

Julie - my mom added to my post that each generation asks why the younger one is so "rude" and "rowdy" and ...forgot the other word she used. Anyway, I wasn't replying to the mother/child relationship, but more of her "children being brats" comment. I'm not blaming chemicals, but that is a major factor I believe. Even way back when when there were chemicals, those foods were like treats to children and not used in every meal and snack. Most meals were home cooked, not fast food. I don't know, I just see the trend.

[being]

Ya know, I didn't realize how much of an issue this would be for me. On the way home from Jujitsu I started hyperventilating for fear of waht she will respond with and think of me. WHY DO I EVEN CARE!?

I wish I could offer some wisdom here. I can't really, so I'll share my personal experience with this "anxiety of what people will think"

I have reached a point where I truly don't give a rip :eek: what someone else thinks of me... even my own family. How I got here, well, it was indirect ... very indirect! But it happened, and it is a wonderful, relaxing and freeing place to be. I wish I knew what I could say that would help you.

Your post not only inspired me, it has helped me realize that I made it to this place. I read this last bit, "WHY DO I EVEN CARE?" and it struck a chord. I thought, that's right! Why DO you care?

I can remember asking myself that over and over. Being so hard on myself, because it seemed silly to be so anxious about what some other person thought of me. I look at people on the bus, and watch my mind making up stories and judgements about them... and I think, do they care what I think of them?

Doubtful. Most likely they too couldn't give a rip what I thought about them. All that matters is what I think of me. I try to live each day in a way that when I sit at night to meditate, my mind is already calm and stressless.

It seems you have found a way to live your life that really resonates for you, and makes you feel good about yourself and your choices.

THAT is all that really matters.

(Besides, you know you have all the people here on this forum in your corner, thinking YOU RAWK!! :p :D )

[lissomllama]

Of course you know your stuff. Stick up for yourself, you deserve to be able to speak your mind. Every person has that right, don't take yours for granted. You might also tell your friend that one's life REVOLVES around food, not evolve (although some of us believe that as well, ha :D ), as the saying goes. Oh and ALL creatures revolve around their diets, if not, they die. Food and water are LIFE. If a creature cannot eat what is natural to them, they either die out quickly or adapt by changing forms (either partially or impartially) so yes, food is a big deal. You don't need to back down on this. People need to be told, shown and reminded that the junk we are being sold and fed is full of poison or else this movement wouldn't grow! I'm proud of you for staying firm in your believes and telling it like it is.

[dreamrawalwz]

Of course you know your stuff. Stick up for yourself, you deserve to be able to speak your mind. Every person has that right, don't take yours for granted. You might also tell your friend that one's life REVOLVES around food, not evolve (although some of us believe that as well, ha :D ), as the saying goes. Oh and ALL creatures revolve around their diets, if not, they die. Food and water are LIFE. If a creature cannot eat what is natural to them, they either die out quickly or adapt by changing forms (either partially or impartially) so yes, food is a big deal. You don't need to back down on this. People need to be told, shown and reminded that the junk we are being sold and fed is full of poison or else this movement wouldn't grow! I'm proud of you for staying firm in your believes and telling it like it is.

Haha this is so true. I odn't want to sound TOO mean. I don't know, I've had an ED so she knows that part of my past so she may be referring to that when I "evolve" around food lol. She also...doesn't eat mcuh so food isn't on her mind at all so I don't know if that's a factor as well. To her eating is a chore or something and just doesn't do mcuh and when she does it's all junk and fast food. She wonders why she's constantly tired, has a sinus infection or ear infection ::sigh:: I can only try to inform right?

[lissomllama]

Yeah, you're doing your best. Just be a good example and she'll see, someday.