Help! just pigged out on non raw pizza! first time [Archive]

stiletto

08-21-2006, 11:39 PM

Oh my Goodness. Yes, I was feeling emotional after a little confrontation with BF.... he doesn't think I'm beautiful... so, we're at his uncles house and I, after eating a salad for dinner and lunch and everyone is in bed...., heated up a slice of Unc's regular cheese pizza.... I feel so good after I ate it, and of course, feel so bad.... do I hafta feel so bad.... I really love pizza!!!! Do I have to go the rest of my life without eating this most amazing food.... So what if i go from 99 to 101 pounds. will I die? he doesn't think I'm beautiful anyway! I don't look like a supermodel... so what the hell is the difference. Why do I have to torture myself all the time. I mean, I would never eat a poor defenseless animal.... but pizza. god, I crave it everyday! and I gave in after 3 months.... So, sue me....

anyone???
Stiletto

sherahtaylor

08-21-2006, 11:41 PM

Hmmmm....you probably don't want to hear this, but if anyone told my friend or sister that she wasn't beautiful? I would say he's not the guy for you...go find someone who loves you for who you are, inside & out. Eating Raw is all about cleansing, taking care of yourself ~ it seems like we have to do that in our relationships too.

Toni in OR

08-21-2006, 11:44 PM

I am sorry that you are feeling rotten. I have to admit that I had a few bites of my dd's pizza this afternoon and then told my friend that pizza was the one reason that I could never commit 100% to raw. So you aren't the only one with that weakness.

I will say that your bf is a dork. My guess is that he is insecure and he takes it out on you.

stiletto

08-21-2006, 11:50 PM

stiletto

08-22-2006, 12:00 AM

also, not being home I have no access to my raw food indulgences. Like, for example, if i was home, I could have pigged out on some raw cashews or made a raw pizza or whatever. But being at my Uncles (we are remodeling our new house) I have nothing to eat over here. I ate 5 banana's yesterday and thank God for the raw Jicama Salad at Whole Foods (may not be totally raw) but, other than that, I'm in trouble. So I ended up pigging out on pizza. When I come home late at night at home, I usually just grab some salsa or avocado or cashews and I'm ok...

This is so hard!!! isn't it?

Gosia

08-22-2006, 12:08 AM

Actually, I think that you do look like a supermodel.

Gosia

Kitty

08-22-2006, 12:25 AM

I also think your beautiful. And I always thought that if you loved some one no matter what they looked like you would think they were beautiful as well. There was this show once where two unattractive people fell in love and you saw that the girl was thinking the guy looked like will smith and the guy was thinking the girl looked like some famous model, and I think that is how it really happens! I think my husband looks like will smith but I know he probably doesn't :p ! But its because I love him!!
remember, you are a goddess! Love yourself too OK! That includes loving your body enough not to emotionally eat something that really isn't good for you. But don't beat yourself up about that to much, I think we all struggle with that. And its very hard when you don't have an abundance of raw food.

kellibelli

08-22-2006, 12:29 AM

Stiletto,
You are beautiful. All you can do is move forward with your eating and don't beat yourself up. Keep loving yourself. You are worth it.

PATH301

08-22-2006, 12:40 AM

hey stiletto,
from a guys perspective you look great! :D
I don't have any idea what your bf was thinking when he made that comment?
As far as goof ups and eating sad foods - it happens to the best of us. Don't sweat it, just keep on doing the best that you can do. :D

rawpriestess

08-22-2006, 01:08 AM

first, let me say, that no matter what you look like, your bf should think you are beautiful, gorgeous, hot, to die for.

second, eating one piece of SAD pizza is NOT a crime, and I will not report you to the RAW police, you will live, and you will continue eating raw tomorrow, and the day after and you will be fine.

third, dump this dude, he is NOT the man for you. you need a REAL man who loves you, and doesn't try to make you feel badly, because he's a jerk.

fouth, You ARE beautiful

fifth, you are a Goddess, and I can hook you up with a ton of guys, waiting to meet someone as sweet, and beautiful and loving and kind as you, so tell him THAT, as you toss him out on his ear.

PLEASE, do NOT believe anything this guy says to you, ever again, he's not worth your time.

and, I'm sorry that you are hurting right now, it will pass, and you will feel beautiful again, I promise.

luckitri

08-22-2006, 01:37 AM

Everybody wrote great things to you - exactly what I wanted to say only said better! I would be thrilled to look like you and if you can't look in the mirror and see that - help! Anyway at least he admits it is his issue but significant others are not for inflicting "issues" on each other - don't we all want to feel like number one! I know I do. Comparing your current to your ex is not just tacky - its incredibly self centered and to me just the lowest immature game-playing. If he is taking his old baggage out on you it sounds like he needs to spend some time alone before he considers another relationship. There are guys who are focused and able to recognize, appreciate, support and cherish you for who you are - and I know that they are difficult to find but you can do this.

lissomllama

08-22-2006, 01:48 AM

You are gorgeous but that isn't the only issue here. You obviously are with someone who isn't treating you right, don't put up with it. You deserve better.

In regards to raw foodism, it is hard at first, yes but it gets easier. You choose what you eat, of course but if you truly want to eat raw, there is no excuse not to. Raw, vegan foods are almost everywhere. They just might be hidden. Can't you go to the store and get yourself some raw veggies and fruits to last you till the house is done? If you have access to a whole foods you should be able to get some produce there. The point is that you have to want to do this. Slip ups happen, it's not really anything to get too upset over. You can move on and tomorrow is always a new day. Just start over and just do it. Don't let yourself eat cooked. No one is forcing that hand of cooked food to your lips. You make that choice. So if you want to, make the right choice. If you have absolutely no access to raw, vegan foods for a little while, go on a water only fast for a few days and rest if you can. A fast is very cleansing and good for your body and isn't unhealthy at all. Everything needs a good healthy rest for a little bit, including your digestive tract. Believe it or not a fast can actually help curb cravings.

Whatever you choose, I hope you feel better and get some real love and a real man who can see how beautiful you really are. You need to see it too though. I hope you choose to continue to be raw. Cooked will not bring you anything but disease and pain. Just look at the cooked eaters around you. Sooner or later it catches up with them.

Coriander74

08-22-2006, 01:59 AM

Stiletto, that man is blind. And stupid. And a fool.

You have always struck me as this glowing gorgeous woman, with such a radiant smile.

So what if you had some pizza. Go out when you can and stock up on some raw goodies. Live for yourself, whichever way makes YOU feel good.

NaturalWoman

08-22-2006, 05:37 AM

Stiletto,

This man is emotionally abusive. Please, for your own self worth, dump him immediately. You ARE physically beautiful, but that is not the point. People with abusive personalities know how to lock on to an insecurity that you may have and amplify it to make themselves feel better. Maybe he never hits you, maybe he never calls you names, maybe he is very sweet in other ways, but if he made it known to you that to him you are not beautiful then that is abuse. That is an effort to tear down your self esteem to make himself feel better. Don't let him dress it up as if he is just being honest. He is just being a jerk and you don't have to accept that kind of treatment from anybody. He wants you to feel bad about yourself. If he loved you the way you deserve to be loved, you would know about all the things that physically make you the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes. Loving you for what is inside is GREAT, but the physical you is still you. Don't let him get away with saying that this huge part of you is not good enough.

The pizza you ate is not the point.

I hope you take this in the spirit it was intended.
Good Luck To You

Halo Aglow

08-22-2006, 07:51 AM

Let's drop this pizza worry for a minute and talk about this man of yours! Girl, you deserve so much better. This isn't the guy for you and something tells me that if this relationship were to get deeper, it will get worse in what negative things he tells you.

So how did this conversation come up, him telling you that you weren't beautiful? I bet if you'd tell your family that he said this, they'd want to kick his a$$ LOL. You need to tell him that you ARE beautiful ('cause you ARE!) and that you want to be with someone who appreciates you in all of your beautiful state! Tell him that what he said was rude and emotionally abusive and that you don't want to be with someone who thinks you aren't beautiful. Tell him that there are plenty of men who think you are and that he's not the only man out there and you love and respect yourself to know that he's not the only man you can get!

You really need to tell him off! Don't be sad around him and let him think that you can easily be hurt and put into a submissive state of mind. KNOW that you ARE a GODDESS. That you're one beautiful bad a$$ chick and that you'd be damned if you put all of your energy into loving a guy who will tell you that you aren't beautiful!!!

Geez, I feel like calling this guy up myself and telling him off!!! :mad: I don't see how you can stand to be around this guy anymore!

Pierre

08-22-2006, 07:51 AM

Stiletto, you are beautiful, and I'm sure it's because of raw. I've never seen so much beauty in one place!

In three more months of eating raw, you will be so absolutely stunningly gorgeous that every man's eyes will pop as you pass by. Ask your BF if he wants you to be this gorgeous, inside and out. If he does, keep him. If he doesn't, he's not the man for you.

fallenangel

08-22-2006, 07:55 AM

:eek: Stiletto,
I was only looking at your avator last week thinking to myself how beautiful you looked and how to me you look like the perfect advocate for Raw food with the radiance that is enimating from you.
my heart broke readiing your post because the comment from your bf reminded me of a past relationship where the guy made constant berating comments like that , which eventually wore down my lovely outgoing personality to the extent that my parents didnt recognise the vunerable introvert that I had become. The comments wear you down to the stage where you BELIEVE that you are not beautiful and it makes them feel more secure in the relationship because they know that you dont have the confidence to attract an alternative male.
I dont know the dynamics of the relationship but it doesnt sound right to tell someone you love ,that they are not beautiful , its an insult and deeply disrespectful. Please do what you can to change this behaviour before it becomes a habit!
or alternatively you could take him to see an opticians because he is in serious need of a pair of glasses!!!
love yourself stiletto ( YOU SHOULD!!)
XXXXXXXXXXX
Yvonne

Veganforlife

08-22-2006, 08:28 AM

Stiletto - have a good, long talk with yourself. Do you really want to be with someone that thinks that way of you? Come on! YOU are what matters. Not what other people think. He sounds like a jerk. I'd ditch him and find someone that appreciates you for you!

stiletto

08-22-2006, 09:29 AM

Thank you all for your support and sweet comments. I can get over the pizza thing but it usually start me off on SAD. I just have to eat totally low fat raw for a few days and I'll cleanse it out. I don't want to fall down the path I did last time eating SAD as soon as the weather got cooler. I really like this lifestyle, it's just hard sometimes. By the way, there was an orange right next to the pizza, but NO... I didn't grab the orange. I will now, though. lol

As for my guy, he has a total issue with this beauty thing. He's so sick of women being rated for their looks and using their looks to get ahead. He values other qualities and he really is a great guy. I just need that reassurance once in a while and I can't get it from him. He doesn't think it's important enough. But, as a woman, it DOES define us to a large degree.

I am an entertainer and come from a world where looks count SO much (for women, really -- men can look like crud and still be ok). As I get older I fear my worth in the business will fade and it will be difficult to make the transition. I think BF knows this and wants me to focus on my other qualities. But I would like to hear him say I am pretty or beautiful once in a while. It would feel nice.

Anyway, you are all right about the pizza. I'll get over it. Thanks!
Peace,
Stiletto

honeybee joy

08-22-2006, 09:54 AM

Your inside and outside are who you are, and a part of you. If he says he loves who you are inside, then he would love your outside as well. I can tell you that you are hot but really it doesn't matter what I think, or what he thinks, it is what you think. Do you think you are beautiful?

It doesn't sound like this guy is ready for a relationship.... he has to deal with his inner demons, and that could take forever. Get out there and find a guy that thinks you sexy on the inside and the outside. You won't have much problems. Doing this would be a choice to love yourself. I know that you cannot be happy with yourself when you are hearing that from someone that claims to love you.

If he really loved you, he would not be telling you that you are only beautiful on the inside. That just doesn't happen. He is trying to knock your self esteem down. That is not love.

Looking like you is the best thing that could happen....because it is YOU...and that is what makes you beautiful.

Judy

08-22-2006, 11:15 AM

The question is: 'Do you yourself think you are beautiful?' Because when you do, other persons' comments wouldn't trigger you so much. Or not even at all really. It doesn't matter what anyone says. Maybe this is not about your boyfriend and pizza slip ups, but about working on your self esteem. Okay, so it's nice if someone thinks you're beautiful, but your mood and the way you look at yourself shouldn't be depending on that. I think this is about how you feel about yourself.

Sharon in Colorado

08-22-2006, 11:26 AM

Did this all start out with the bad hair cut? I think things took a downward spiral after that.

The interesting thing is, this whole situation is a huge learning experience and in a way it is actually good this happened. Sounds ridiculous, but true.

I think if half the bad things/mistakes didn't happen to me I wouldn't be in as good of a place as I am right now.

Just wait till you get back on track, you'll be better than ever!

Cinnamon

08-22-2006, 12:17 PM

When I first saw your photo Stiletto I thought you were a model! So don't doubt your beauty inside and out. And as for the pizza versus the orange sitting right next to it, well I don't think there is one of us who hasn't grabbed for that pizza a time or two. Just part of our learning experience, no raw police around here though.

lil fairy z girl

08-22-2006, 04:32 PM

dear stiletto,
i just had two slices of my hubbys veggie pizza tonight. i ate it as it was mega stress at work, please know you are not on your own.
I am sorry your bf said those comments. Please know that just because he says something does not mean its true. He is totally wrong in his view.

anyway, tomorrow i am going to try and be good again and get back onto raw,

kind wishes
sal
~*~*~*

Feebee

08-22-2006, 04:45 PM

Pierre

08-22-2006, 05:20 PM

I am an entertainer and come from a world where looks count SO much (for women, really -- men can look like crud and still be ok). As I get older I fear my worth in the business will fade and it will be difficult to make the transition.
Just look at rawpriestess's pictures. Your beauty will last a whole lot longer than that of any SAD eater.

Nini

08-22-2006, 05:38 PM

stiletto,
I have to say I am jealous of your beauty. You are so feminine and I have always wanted to be.

BTW, My husband and I watched your promo video online and you can sing it girl! And we loved the variety of music.

KindnessToAllCreatures

08-22-2006, 06:04 PM

Stiletto, you are a stunning woman. Drop dead gorgeous.

Regarding your BF, it doesn't matter whether or not looks are important to him. It's important to you. You've told him it's important to you. It's not too much to ask for him to let you know that. I'm guessing his "issues" include insecurity and control issues. Not that he doesn't have his redeaming qualities, too. He's totally missing the mark, though, in respecting what's important to you. As a result, he's being disrespectful of you as a person.

Wishing you love and happiness... :)

stiletto

08-22-2006, 09:02 PM

You guys are awesome. What a great feeling to know there are people you can talk to when you feel crummy and you guys understand. Anyway, I gave it to BF and told him to get over all his old issues already. I shouldn't have to pay for what his ex's did to him. You guys gave me confidence. Well, he felt really bad and said it was definitely him and not me. I told him it makes me feel .. itty and it was just downright mean and he said he's working on it. He just feels awkward giving complements and stuff.

So, the real reason I wrote. I"m not the only one who has had a midnight pizza fest. Thanks for the support. I was really good today. I ate mangos, oranges, apples, now I'm going to have some celery and guac / salsa for dinner. No contraband at all. lol. Thanks guys.. you're the best.
Stiletto

Lay-Lay

08-22-2006, 09:06 PM

The worst part about it is that he says he loves me for who I am inside... which is what we're supposed to want really. But do we really? I mean, don't we want to feel beautiful? He say's it's him because he's been beat up emotionally by beautiful women and has some emotional issues with it, but I think he just loves the fact that I'm not beautiful enough to hurt him. I like the fact that he loves my insides, but c'mon. I wanna feel pretty like the rest of us...
ya know?

I want to be loved inside, outside, and all around. Your are beautiful, unbelievably beautuful. Is he off his rocker! You have to think that you are beautiful before he will think you are.

I know I am and my hubby thinks I am too! You receive back what you put out.

rawfigure

08-22-2006, 09:31 PM

I have to Ditto it too.

You are beautiful.
Dump the bd..and find some who things you are drop dead gorgeous.

Make RAW Pizza !

sport

08-23-2006, 05:48 AM

[QUOTE=Toni in OR]I am sorry that you are feeling rotten. I have to admit that I had a few bites of my dd's pizza this afternoon and then told my friend that pizza was the one reason that I could never commit 100% to raw. So you aren't the only one with that weakness.

QUOTE]

There is a thread going here started by RP about cheese which explains (in the recent posts) why it is so addictive. Once you recognise it as an addiction it will be easier to beat the pizza problem.
I have not had cheese for 5 years and as a vegaterian I had it every day but I went cold turkey.
Hubby still eats it (grilled which make the smell more potent) and I love the smell but have not had a morsell pass my lips in the 5 years.
It can be beaten.

luckitri

08-23-2006, 06:17 PM

Glad you are doing better but I have to agree with above - when I first read your original post I just thought your boyfriend is trying to control you and bring you down so that you need him - or getting his sick kicks by making you miserable - that was the first reaction I got - I hope it is not true because people like that around you can ruin your life. My humor may not be appreciated here so I deleted it....my son has a phone number for some kind of professional reject line just across the river from you! (If there is a next time.)

Gosia

08-23-2006, 06:25 PM

Yay!

Gosia

romanticsnet

08-23-2006, 09:20 PM

Wow.. reading this thread has me worked up!

Life is too short to spend with someone that says a very hurtful thing like that. Sometimes it is easier to settle with someone like that because of their "redeeming qualities." You know ... my ex -huband was a "great guy"... but he treated me like crap, and said some pretty hurtful things every once in a while to "control me". I put up with this crap for 11 years due to his other "redeeming qualities"... talk about wasted time. He was very good looking which made it even harder... His famous line was... "I could never love you as much as you love me, I have been hurt too many times." Well... I felt it was my duty to prove that I could make him change his mind! I wasted all those years trying... and then divorce came when he found someone younger, and easier to control. and then...

I met and married the most wonderful man who loves me no matter what I look like. (Maybe the secret was that he picked me, and I didn't pick him!!) He will keep loving me. He loved me when I was fat, and he loved me when I was losing my hair, and yelling at him. He loves me and tells me I will be beautiful to him even if I weigh another 200 pounds more.

No one should ever be treated like you have, Period! If he says it again... have enough self-respect to lose him, and for good. There are way too many men out there who would die to be with someone like you.

Women are to be cherished in every sense of the word. Men who do not realize that, and give stupid excuses and blame past problems do not deserve to be in relationships.

But sometimes we have to learn the hard way...
no matter what our friends and supporters say.

*hugs* Keep your eyes open, and your heart ready.