Rmiller
08-20-2006, 11:28 AM
Hi Lunar,
I've been reading your posts over the past few days. I just wanted to pass along this info to you just in case you don't check your e-mail too often.
Regarding your desire to exercise: I have always been a runner at heart too. I started jogging with my dad since I was 5 years old. I've always loved it. I feel so free that I could just go and go and go..... I really helped releve my stress, especially during my high-school days. I was also really great at it and won lots of competitions.
When I developed the anorexia (age 17), my parents and doctors banned me from going running as well. I hated it because this had always been a big part of my life and I missed it terribly. I found that I actually became really depressed because I wasn't getting the endorphins that I was used to. Also, my stress level went up because I didn't know how else to releve my stress. I would feel terrible guilt if I did go running because I didn't want to displease my parents. Actually, not being able to run made the anorexia much worse.
Eventually I came to the point where I said, I've had enough. I missed exercise. However, I had to learn to incorporate exercise so that I wouldn't lose weight. This was the toughest part. I didn't want to have to eat more just because I went for a run. I ended up with forced hospitalizations because I couldn't keep my weight up, especially when I exercised.
Finally I found a dietitian who was really supportive. Although she didn't agree that I eat only raw food, she supported me and helped me with it. We developed a meal plan together. It basically outlined what I needed to eat in a day in order to maintain my weight. If I exercised, then she gave me certain amounts of servings that I had to eat extra in order to hold my weight. I found this VERY helpful because I could still choose what I wanted to eat but it also made sure that I ate enough. It also helped to free up my mind because it was like the meal plan gave me permission to eat again. It was also great because then I didn't have to get into counting calories. Another bonus was that my parents calmed way down because they knew that I was on a meal plan with a dietian and it was helping me. Does this all make sense?
I still follow a meal plan and am exercising. I feel great and have been able to maintain my weight as well as slowly start to increase my weight (by increasing the meal plan with the dietitian). I concentrate more on weight-training but usually about 2x a week a go for a run as well. The meal plan that I'm currently on looks like this:
Pre-Breakfast: 1 T BarleyMax, 1 cup fresh veggie juice
Breakfast: 6 servings fruit/veg, 2 srv protein (e.g. green smoothie with either 1/8 cup ground seeds or 1 scoop raw protein powder)
Snack: 2 starch, 1 milk, 1 fruit
Lunch: 6 servings fruit/veg, 2 srv protein
Snack: 1 milk, 2 fruit
Dinner: 3 fat, 2 starch, 3 veg, 2 protein
Snack: 1 fruit, 1 protein
Here is an example of what I eat for certain servings:
1 fruit = 1 orange, 1 cup fruit, 1 apple, 1/2 large banana, etc
1 veg = 1 cup greens, 1 cup of any other veggies
2 protein = 1/8 cup nuts/seeds (I usually grind them after I measure it), 1 scoop raw protein powder
1 starch = 1/8 cup raw grains (measure before you soak), 1/4 cup oatmeal (measure before you soak), 1 really large banana
1 milk = 1 cup nut/seed milk
1 Fat = 1/4 avocado, 1 t oil
If you do any exercise then for every 15 minutes of exercise that you do (like 15 minutes of running), add 1 extra fruit serving. If you do 30 minutes, then add 2 fruit servings. If you do 45 minutes, then add either 3 fruit servings or 1 starch serving or 1 protein serving.
Does this all make sense?? It may seem a little complex at first but it really is easy. I really recommend you try this - I think it will help you just as it helped me.
I also want you to know that you are constantly in my prayers. You wouldn't believe how much we have in common that it is sometimes scary (I've discovered this commonality by reading a lot of your posts). One thing that I find extremely helpful with dealing with some of the negative thoughts is to repeat certain phrases to myself. I don't know if you believe in God, but my belief in God has really given me that inner strength that I needed. For instance, when I don't want to eat or just hate myself, I repeat phrases like:
- I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength
- I died with Christ and died to the power of sin in my life
Anyway, let me know if you have any questions about all of this. Please e-mail me sometime when you get a chance,
Lisa
I've been reading your posts over the past few days. I just wanted to pass along this info to you just in case you don't check your e-mail too often.
Regarding your desire to exercise: I have always been a runner at heart too. I started jogging with my dad since I was 5 years old. I've always loved it. I feel so free that I could just go and go and go..... I really helped releve my stress, especially during my high-school days. I was also really great at it and won lots of competitions.
When I developed the anorexia (age 17), my parents and doctors banned me from going running as well. I hated it because this had always been a big part of my life and I missed it terribly. I found that I actually became really depressed because I wasn't getting the endorphins that I was used to. Also, my stress level went up because I didn't know how else to releve my stress. I would feel terrible guilt if I did go running because I didn't want to displease my parents. Actually, not being able to run made the anorexia much worse.
Eventually I came to the point where I said, I've had enough. I missed exercise. However, I had to learn to incorporate exercise so that I wouldn't lose weight. This was the toughest part. I didn't want to have to eat more just because I went for a run. I ended up with forced hospitalizations because I couldn't keep my weight up, especially when I exercised.
Finally I found a dietitian who was really supportive. Although she didn't agree that I eat only raw food, she supported me and helped me with it. We developed a meal plan together. It basically outlined what I needed to eat in a day in order to maintain my weight. If I exercised, then she gave me certain amounts of servings that I had to eat extra in order to hold my weight. I found this VERY helpful because I could still choose what I wanted to eat but it also made sure that I ate enough. It also helped to free up my mind because it was like the meal plan gave me permission to eat again. It was also great because then I didn't have to get into counting calories. Another bonus was that my parents calmed way down because they knew that I was on a meal plan with a dietian and it was helping me. Does this all make sense?
I still follow a meal plan and am exercising. I feel great and have been able to maintain my weight as well as slowly start to increase my weight (by increasing the meal plan with the dietitian). I concentrate more on weight-training but usually about 2x a week a go for a run as well. The meal plan that I'm currently on looks like this:
Pre-Breakfast: 1 T BarleyMax, 1 cup fresh veggie juice
Breakfast: 6 servings fruit/veg, 2 srv protein (e.g. green smoothie with either 1/8 cup ground seeds or 1 scoop raw protein powder)
Snack: 2 starch, 1 milk, 1 fruit
Lunch: 6 servings fruit/veg, 2 srv protein
Snack: 1 milk, 2 fruit
Dinner: 3 fat, 2 starch, 3 veg, 2 protein
Snack: 1 fruit, 1 protein
Here is an example of what I eat for certain servings:
1 fruit = 1 orange, 1 cup fruit, 1 apple, 1/2 large banana, etc
1 veg = 1 cup greens, 1 cup of any other veggies
2 protein = 1/8 cup nuts/seeds (I usually grind them after I measure it), 1 scoop raw protein powder
1 starch = 1/8 cup raw grains (measure before you soak), 1/4 cup oatmeal (measure before you soak), 1 really large banana
1 milk = 1 cup nut/seed milk
1 Fat = 1/4 avocado, 1 t oil
If you do any exercise then for every 15 minutes of exercise that you do (like 15 minutes of running), add 1 extra fruit serving. If you do 30 minutes, then add 2 fruit servings. If you do 45 minutes, then add either 3 fruit servings or 1 starch serving or 1 protein serving.
Does this all make sense?? It may seem a little complex at first but it really is easy. I really recommend you try this - I think it will help you just as it helped me.
I also want you to know that you are constantly in my prayers. You wouldn't believe how much we have in common that it is sometimes scary (I've discovered this commonality by reading a lot of your posts). One thing that I find extremely helpful with dealing with some of the negative thoughts is to repeat certain phrases to myself. I don't know if you believe in God, but my belief in God has really given me that inner strength that I needed. For instance, when I don't want to eat or just hate myself, I repeat phrases like:
- I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength
- I died with Christ and died to the power of sin in my life
Anyway, let me know if you have any questions about all of this. Please e-mail me sometime when you get a chance,
Lisa