View Full Version : Help me stay Raw...please!
08-10-2006, 06:14 PM
Hello all. I'm a newbie and this is day 13 of my personal challenge. I've had about 3 slip ups, but I've still managed to lose weight :D (11lbs. so far), feel energized :) , and for the most part, enjoy the raw food lifestyle. ;)
However, I'm having problems with my parents. They attack me everyday because I'm not eating 'good food' - the typical Caribbean cuisine of heavy starches and greasy foods that will 'stick to my ribs'. What should I do about my parents?? They just won't leave me alone. This morning was the last straw.
Here's my journal entry for today:
Depressed. I spent the day crying (off and on). My dad staged what he considers an 'intervention' about my raw food eating habits. He's the one that takes high blood pressure pills everyday and has a huge belly. I was so offended. He completely embarrassed me in front of my mom. So hurt. So very hurt. I'm not even boney/skinny. For goodness sake, I still have a pot belly, cellulite and big thighs! I wanted to explode. His words cut deep. I think he feels threatened 'cuz I'm the only one in the house (out of 6 people) who is trying to eat right. I'm not in a good mood AT ALL. Maybe I should just give up on raw foods until I'm out of my parents' house. Ignoring their attacks/insinuations is HARDER than resisting the temptations of bad foods. I really didn't factor this into the equation when I started this journey. This is tough.
Not smiling for today,
The following has kept me going this long in the raw journey, but I don't know if it can motivate me much longer...not with the kind of opposition that I'm getting at home:
*My mom, little brother and cousin have diabetes :(
*Diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease runs on BOTH sides of my family :(
*All of my immediate family members are obese :eek:
*My own struggle with lymphedema :rolleyes:
Any advice/support would be awesome. Thanks in advance. :o
08-10-2006, 06:19 PM
HUGE BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!
Geez you're getting a lot of attitude for doing what you feel is best for your body ...
It sounds like they may be upset because they feel locked down in their own obesity, and they have no desire to get out of it. So if you come along eating wonderful healthy foods, you're right, they might feel threatened. I don't know.
Just try to stay strong... You gave your reasons there for going raw, and I think those are wonderful reasons. You are doing your best to be healthy and fit, and I don't think they should be angry about that.
Plus, meals that "stick to your ribs"? Obviously they are sticking other places too. I know they do when I ate them LOL
Hang tough girl!!!!!!!!!!
08-10-2006, 06:22 PM
awww, I'm sooo sorry about that!! Just remember how amazing you will look and how wonderful you will feel! You will have a glow and people will say to you, "wow...how do you look so amazing?!" Then you can smile and say, "RAW!!" They will be shocked and wished that they were raw as well!!!
If you ever need support, you can email me at email@example.com or if you have AIM, then sn is berrymarymac.
I know it's hard right now, just push through it!! I pushed through all of the negative and now am 100% for the most part and I look amazing and people are saying I look thinner! It's amazing!
08-10-2006, 06:22 PM
Wow, I am so sorry that you are getting hit with opposition from your parents. What is their reason for it? Did they say?
08-10-2006, 06:25 PM
-I hear you. It must be difficult to do the right thing - when you live with your parents.
-It is your happiness, serenity, and confidence that wins people's hearts and like-ness.......not your logic or sense.
-Distance will eventually give you a great respect / love for them.
-Hmmm....if you're not 100% raw for life...then just eat their stuff when they are there....and eat what you want all the other times.
-I think if you eat a high percentage of raw food per meal - then your parents might understand THAT. Try eating 2/3 raw with every meal. A big salad.....and some fruit cup.......and then just lightly eat whatever else. I think you'll still experience big change.
-You have to do what you think is right - while being as understanding as you can with those that don't have your level of understanding.
08-10-2006, 06:44 PM
This year I went through exactly what you are going through..My husband and I decided to become Vegetarians and his family constantly attacked us, most of the times it was on a daily basis..but we prayed about it daily and stuck it out and now they don't bother us about it at all. The thing is that most people do not like change, especially if it reflects badly on them..so your good eating habits makes their bad ones really stand out. To become your own person, you have to do what makes "you" feel happy, sometimes you have to go through the bad to get to the good, believe me once they see you are sticking with raw because it makes you happy, they will back off, that is what our family finally did, they don't mention it anymore and we now have our independence..I hope this helps you..I will say a prayer for you..hugs :)
08-10-2006, 07:39 PM
hey Deena, maybe i can relate i live with my grandma who says my diet of mango's is not healthy, she eats a very SAD diet and keeps complaining of feeling run down and tired, she keeps telling everyone about my diet and now everyone thinks im trying to be anorexic, im even the same weight as you ive already lost 6lbs and sam here todays my 14th day, but i dont care i wont let them hold me back, i feel good doing this and you should too, diabetes scares me too and you shouldn't sacrafice your health for your dad, maybe you could get some books or research those who've lost weight and healed themselves and get your dad involved- he probably does feel threatened and he's probably use to being the "man" of the house lol hope that helps and good luck don't give up!
08-10-2006, 07:40 PM
To become your own person, you have to do what makes "you" feel happy, for you..hugs :)
I went through a something like that with my mom.
I really like what Angelic stated above. Just go with what you know you need and want to be doing and you will be so much happier then you would be if you were just pleasing other ppl. I wish the best for you.
08-10-2006, 09:22 PM
I have a similar situation, pretty much....but I wont go into explaining all that now.
I just wanted to wish you best in your journey, and I think you should do whatever YOU feel you need to do right now. If you feel that you must give a little bit in order to make your home life more peaceful than you should do that. It's probably not long before you are on your own right? How old are you? I am 15, and have more than just my mother down on me about being RAW (step dad, brother, mom, therapist, my doctor is so-so, etc etc etc). But hey, why can't they just be happy I have finally begun to gain weight all on my own! ah well.
I would try making them some great raw recipes, just don't tell them its raw or anything until they start saying how delicious. :p
any way, if that is you in your user pic you are very very pretty! It doesn't look like you need to lose weight from that picture!
I hope your family can come to an understanding...both of our families! we're in this together *HUGS HUGS HUGS* I completely understand how you feel, and its sooo awful :(
08-10-2006, 09:44 PM
As others have said. Do waht makes YOU feel good and waht feels right for you and ONLY you. Don't try to please them. They may be jealous since it's different than how they eat and they know it's healthier. Just keep going raw and don't worry about it. Once they see how happy, energetic, young, glowing, and healthy you become they may change their minds. I wouldn't suggest eating any cooked just to keep them quiet. If you feel best on 100% then do it! Stay strong, ok?
Sharon in Colorado
08-10-2006, 09:53 PM
Maybe if you tell him that his food makes you feel sick instead of making it more of a choice he'll lay off you a little bit. When folks know I eat this way for health reason they don't pester me.
08-10-2006, 10:04 PM
Have you tried educating your parents, at all? There are lots of books out there, and lots of stuff to download off the web. Maybe they'd feel less threatened by it if they realized that there's a whole community out there doing this, with plenty of scientific study and case examples to back it up. anyway, i know it's hard, we all get attacked...but it's been my experience that the people who fight hardest are the ones most likely to come around in the end.
08-11-2006, 10:38 AM
Thanks everyone! Today is a new day and I am feeling much better! Your advice has been priceless in my weak moment yesterday. I really want to do this for me. I'm sticking to my 4 month raw challenge. It may not be 100% all the time, but it has made a huge impact on my life already, so I won't quit.
@David - I think I remember reading that you came here (Bahamas) before, so I'm sure you know firsthand what I mean about our 'heavy' Caribbean cuisine. LOL!
@Lunar*Fey - that is me in the pic. Thanks for the compliment. I'm small at the top, but big at the bottom (stomach/thighs/bum/legs...pear-shaped). My #1 desire is for health, but I'm looking forward to loosing some weight so that my left leg (that's affected by lymphedema) will appear normal again. It has 'gone down some' already!
@Sharon and rawbeliever - I decided to have a talk with my folks yesterday. I think they understand a little now. My mom even went out and bought me some fruits! They still think that this is a phase, though. Ah well.
@Angelic - your prayer worked! Thanks!:)
The members on this forum are just wonderful. I can't say thanks enough, everybody!
p.s. Today makes 2 weeks raw!!!
08-11-2006, 10:48 AM
That is great news DeenaSmiles! I am glad the prayer worked, it always works for me also. That is a great first step that you talked with your parents and your Mom bought you some fruits, I am so happy that you have decided to stick with raw and so proud of you that you stood up for yourself! :)
08-11-2006, 11:32 AM
Hi Deenasmiles... I prayed for ya gurl!!
I also prayed for your family! My family is also like yours. I attribute it to lack of information. Call it ignorance if you will. My husband is the only one that is supporting me. I have not told my mother yet that I have almost been raw for 2 weeks. She would never understand and I don't want the negativity. I am a new mom ( my little one is 1 years old today).Once I regain my health, I will mention it to my mom and see what reaction I get. Right now I just tell her that I am eating better. She is really happy about that. (GO FIGURE).
It is a little different for me through , because I don't have to live with my mom and dad. KEEP ON EATING RAW GURL. They WILL see the light though you. YOU WILL BE and inspiration for them. My Mom sound like your dad. She has high blood pressure and heart disease and a big stomach. Her mother (my grandma) had the same and died of a stroke. I don't want to go down that path. My dad is a little different. He has his garden and sends me fresh veges every day! Hid cucumbers and tomatoes are humongous. I hope I have his green thumb! I LOVE MY DADDY!!
Take it day by day. I will be 2 weeks raw next monday and I also can't believe it. I feel great and have lost 10 pounds already. I will keep reading your journal, because you inspire me to stay raw. It may seen tough right now, but us sisters of color have thick skins... kinda like pineapple skin or coconut skin :D
Keep on eating your wonderful island fruits and I will keep eating mine.
Thinking and praying for ya from California daily!!
PEACE and RAWLOVE!!
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