View Full Version : Bring me down!
08-07-2006, 05:16 PM
I hate posting more things, but something has been bothering me lately.
Well, my sister went raw with me because she wants to follow me and was put in jail a few weeks ago, now is back home. Well, she couldn't do the Raw thing and now she seems to be taking me down with her!!
Yesterday we went to get sushi and I just got a cucumber and avocado roll, very happy with just that! And the guy who was helping us, gave us some free sushi of shrimp and crab stick, then my sister tried to force it on me, along with her other rolls. I said no, but she kept on pressuring me...I didn't give in!
Then last night, I smelled this awful smell...i thought something had died in my airvent!! lol, and it turned out to be someone popping popcorn (which is one of my weaknesses!). Well, my sister hates popcorn and popped it, then came into my room to let the smell go through it...I can still smell it. EWW!! Also she did this when we went to the movies when I first went Raw.
I thought, well...I can handle this. Then she baked chocolate chip cookies...yeah, I would have eaten so many of the little cookies!!!! She then came into my room and smiled sweetly, an odd sweet like fake smile, asking me if I wanted some milk and cookies! She knows I don't drink milk anymore because I found out it was causing my skin to break out! And she said a few wouldn't hurt me! I don't want to have heartburn again like I did this last week from being off Raw because of allergic reaction to pineapple. I said I didn't want anything, and she laughed!!! She's been trying to push me down lately and can't understand it! Even my mom has noticed it and says I should just not say anything.
I was happy when I went to IHOP with my mom though, they fixed me a very nice salad with spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and onions with lemon squeezed on top and two bowls of strawberries. So I am happy with myself about that, I have selfcontrol over my actions and I am sooo proud of myself. My mom was so excited for me as well!!!!!! She said I had to get used to ordering like this. She is very supportive of my food decisions.
But I don't know...just wished to share that with ya'll!
08-07-2006, 05:19 PM
I'm sorry your sister sucks. :( But good on you for being strong!!!! I haven't given in to anyone else's temptation, only my own. :( You're ahead of the game!
08-07-2006, 05:41 PM
Some people have their strongest temptations from within some from without. we all have them and you are doing just GREAT!!
Next time she asks you if you want cookies, hold up a piece of fruit and and say nah would you like this? and smile the same smile back at her!
You can't change others and she obviously has some issues that go beyond eating Raw.
Hang in there. Do what's right because you are the one who will have to feel crappy if you give in and you don't want that!!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!
08-07-2006, 05:54 PM
My husband is the type who delights in other people's misery. He is in fact a very unhappy person himself. Long story there and one that I didn't see before I married him. Partly due to the fact that he is in the military and we wound up having a long distance relationship for the two years before we married. But I digress...
Two of my favorite foods used to be pancakes drowning in syrup, and Mexican food. Not all Mexican food but certain things. Whenever I ate pancakes he used to complain about how sickening they were and how he couldn't stand watching me eat them. If I made them for him, he wouldn't eat them. I'd have to beg to go out for Mexican food because he hated it so much. If I did manage to get him to go out for it, he'd usually complain about how bad it tasted.
Then I found out I had diabetes. So no more pancakes. And for many years, no more Mexican foods, although in recent years more and more Mexican places (at least in this country) have been offering salads and such. So I can once again go to a Mexican restaurant to eat, although I can't eat my favorite thing...a bean burrito. Never mind the "raw" factor. Waaay too many carb for me now.
Now all of a sudden he wants to go to Mexican restaurants all the time. He'll wave his fork in front of me and tell me how good the food is. He'll order pancakes in restaurants and do the same thing. And at my daughter's Pre-K graduation I had sat there furious with him for his behavior.
The ceremony was a long one, held at a country club. It was very formal with the kids wearing caps and gowns, reciting things, singing, etc. Two hours of stuff before they fed us. It was a brunch. Set menu. No chance of getting anything different. I already knew this and had stashed some nuts and raw veggies in the car in a cooler just in case. As it turned out, there were a few things on my plate I could eat, but not much.
I ate what I could, but was still very hungry and could not get to where our car was parked. They had valet parking and I had no clue where they'd put it. So I just sat there waiting to leave so I could get to the food. There was a dance afterwards. Meanwhile, my husband kept waving pastries under my nose and offering them to me. I was not tempted by these things because I don't like them. But there were pancakes on the plate and he must have offered me the syrup for them about 17 times. I finally snapped, "Stop offering me the syrup!" "Why?", he replied. "I'm only trying to be polite. I noticed you weren't eating your pancakes and you have no syrup. I thought you might need it!" At that point, I merely stabbed my pancakes with a fork and threw them onto his plate. He didn't like that too much. Heh!
The funny thing was that we were sitting with some people from some middle eastern country. I am not sure which one, but apparently some place where they do not eat pork or meat or whatever the sausage on our plates was made of. Before the waitress set their plates down, one of the men hopped up and said something like, "We are offended by the sausage, please take it away!" They did kindly take their plates back to the kitchen and either take off the sausage or bring them plates without it. Not sure which.
I could have done that. But I didn't. I chose to eat what I could of it and try not to make a big deal of the rest of it.
Yes, my husband still torments me like this. Some of it can be downright comical. Like how he tries to get me to be upset because he is eating ice cream and I am not. I think ice cream is his favorite food. But I've never liked it. Not any kind, ever. In fact I used to cry when I had to go to the dentist. Not because I hated the dentist but because he always gave me a coupon for a free ice cream cone at the ice cream shop downstairs. My parents would then go get me a cone and expect me to eat it. Eventually they gave up and realized that I wasn't going to like any kind of ice cream no matter what.
Now when he acts like this I just try to tune him out. He is trying to get a reaction out of me and he isn't going to get one. Hehe.
08-07-2006, 06:35 PM
Juliebove...wow, I'm so sorry about that!! My dad did that with me and meat for 7 years...and still does it. >_> But not to that extent! And my sister thrives on getting a reaction out of everyone...it's sickening -_-
Graciebeliever, it would be a waste of time just to pick up the fruit to wave it to her lol! She was adopted from Russia when she was 11 and has problems. It's just frustrating living with a 6 year old in a 20 year olds body, if that makes sense. She has lived in our house maybe 4 years total and mental hospitals with the rest!! Or so it seems. She did the same thing with her dinner...but I don't like chicken nor have never liked meat...so it didn't bother me. She's just...want attention and is mean.
We went to the dentist and my mom wanted me to go to the grocery store...she yelled at me saying I was rude and inconsiderate...oh and selfish for not telling her we were going to another place!! She said I was selfish for thinking about myself and going to the store for our mom!! It was like 5pm and she hadn't eaten for the day. That was NOT my fault!
08-07-2006, 08:15 PM
Hang in there!
I can relate. Before August, my mom announced that she was going to embrace raw for a week or two. My sister joined the band wagon. We have a family challenge going on. My mom didn't even try it, just abandoned the idea all together which is sort of what I expected. My sister is now trying to eat healthier but with slim fast, doesn't trust that raw will be enough to satisfy her. They buy cheezits, candy, ice cream, everything - all of my old favorites and ask me over and over if I want some and then say things like " you can't do some crazy diet forever". Apparently, they are not ready yet and so I've got to continue drawing support from this site. You do the same. For those times that you do dine out, go with your mom since you know she is going to be supportive and will throw old favorites in your face.
08-07-2006, 08:49 PM
I pray for your Strenght and Courage. Keep your eyes on the PRIZE.......Hang in there. All these things are ahead of you.......Long life, desease free, Young atitude, hourglass figure. Girl you will always be cute when everyone else is old fat and......................
Sharon in Colorado
08-07-2006, 09:05 PM
I think if I was on the other end of that, I would start praying out loud that s/he be forgiven for trying to be manipulative and insensitive to other people's needs.
This would work well for sisters, husbands, generally anyone. That is in my case, though. So if you don't pray, here's another suggestion.
Showing a caring attitude to them first might help them to curb being malicious to you. Not saying you aren't 'cause I don't know your whole situation, but I sense some resentment in your post(s).
One time I was a guest in someone's home, I was "trying" to stay raw and she kept offering me crap. Held a disgusting cooked deer sausage under my nose, in a taunting kind of way, etc. That didn't temp me rather it annoyed me. But when she bought a box of Cinnabons from the mall it did temp me. I half-joked that she was evil and she got kind of offended. That was probably not good of me to do, but I was getting testy with her.
I think it also helps to turn the table on them.
Ask them why they feel they need to offer you foods that you prefer not to eat.
Ask them if they have any thoughts about supporting you, instead of trying to undermine you.
Ask them what exactly they are thinking when they do that to you.
And ask them in a sincere manner, not an offensive, angry, hurt manner.
Instead of getting ticked off and hating them, try to find out what it is that is causing them to do this. I think the more they are questioned, the less they will exhibit this behavior toward you. That goes for husbands, etc. I mean, you will probably need to sit down with them and be the big person here. They will realize that their actions are not only foolish, but hurtful to you. And this will probably take more than a few talks, but with each time, I guarantee it will get better.
08-07-2006, 09:09 PM
I'm sooooooooo proud of you for stickin' to your raw guns!!!
Your sister's attitude really does suck. I hope that she can realize how wonderful you are, and how much you want to improve your health and your life. Bah Humbug to her.
08-07-2006, 09:24 PM
Spicyfull...I think I cried with your post!! I don't know why, but yeah...it was very encouraging!
Sharon, I know I have a lot of bitterness in my posts, maybe because I am bitter towards her, which I shouldn't be. I do pray, so I will think about this. I think she would laugh or something, go tell my mom I was acting strange. I will try to ask her, which I didn't think of. I usually don't have full conversations like with my mom or others with my sister. I love her, but she is a 24/7 person...someone has to watch her all of the time or she will get into something. But my mom said to ignore her, which is hard to do around her. But your post was very very helpful! All of the years of having to wait in a psychiatric hospital to visit her, the long therapy sessions, the images of her hurting my parents and trying to stab my mom, along with everything else just has been building up inside me for too long. I will pray about this, which I need to start doing more often. I am typically not a spiritual person, but am a Christian.
08-07-2006, 09:52 PM
Mrandal I am soooo very proud of you. You are doing soooo awesome. I just know you are going all the way! RAW4LIFE!
08-07-2006, 11:08 PM
I have one word for you. That is called "SABOTAGE!" I am very thankful that my family does not do that to me. Otherwise, I would have a field day telling them that all of their aches and woes are caused by eating the junk that they gleefully try to shove down my throat!
Sometimes people want to make themselves feel better by pulling you down with them. This may be because some people try to undermine your efforts, telling you that you cannot have this "extraordinary willpower" forever! Well, don't let it get you down. Smile in the face of adversity and just keep on "truckin!"
And next time you look in that mirror, feel great about the fact that there is "nothing" and I mean "NOTHING" on earth that tastes as good as raw tastes and makes you FEEL! :)
08-07-2006, 11:52 PM
Every post here makes me sad, it's just so hard. I highly recommend the book Living Among The Meat Eaters by Carol J. Adams.
Bless all y'all trying to deal with an honor dishonoring family members. I have had my share of the same.
08-08-2006, 04:13 AM
Thanks Lay Lay!! I am pushing through everything now, walking away from all the junk I pass by, it's hard but worth it!
romanticsnet, I've been dealing with people like this, who have wanted to put me down for years about a lot of things. People said I couldn't do all of the things I have accomplished, like things with my music. So I know what you mean!
D'vorah, I'll check the book out! I'm putting it on my list. My mom struggled with people doing this as well, and with her brother for many many years! She's been a vegetarian since she was 15, officially when she was 21, and the only one who really supported her was her father who would create new dishes for her.
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