Waitress didn't understand

[juliebove]

We went out to dinner tonight at a restaurant we often frequent. The owners are familiar with our food allergies and preferences and when they are waiting on us, we almost always get what we want. There was a misunderstanding once but it was quickly corrected.

Tonight they were busy so we got this waitress I'd never seen before. I was afraid there would be problems. What I ordered for my daughter is not listed on the dinner menu but the owners said if we were refused it, to give their names and say that they said we could have it. No problem with my daughter's order though.

The problem was with mine. I'd ordered a Greek salad minus the dressing and cheese. What I got was a plain green salad. The standard bagged stuff of lettuce, purple cabbage and carrots, with two Kalamatta olives on top and one pepperocini. No tomatoes, no cucumbers, no onion. And it was a small salad. Their normal Greek salad comes in a big bowl. And it's not the mix of stuff. It's romaine only. Okay, I could live with that. At least she didn't charge me for the big one.

I then ordered an appetizer that is normally a plate of hummus, cucumber slices, tomato wedges, olives and pita bread. I asked for this but with no pita bread and some raw veggies instead. I had planned on sharing this with my daughter. She loves their hummus but is allergic to wheat. So no bread for her.

What arrived was a huge pool of hummus on a plate with cooked vegetables decorating it. I was like, "Uh... I asked for RAW vegetables." The waitress just looked a bit baffled, then apologized and returned to the kitchen. She brought the plate back with the same assortment of vegetables, this time seemingly very lightly cooked. *sigh* No tomtatoes, no cucumbers. No olives. I did mention the olives and she tried to tell me it didn't come with them. Only after she looked it up on the menu did she realize that I was right about those. She then brought me two olives. There were two slices of carrot, cut as if for stir fry plopped in the middle of the hummus. Around the edge were similar slices of zucchini and also some broccoli and cauliflower. I have no clue what they did to them. They were warm. I managed to eat one of the carrot pieces. It was very tough and hard to chew. The other had black (burned?) marks on it. The rest of the stuff was just kind of warm and wilted looking. The only thing I could figure was that perhaps they had a bag of frozen vegetables that they cooked only enough to make them not frozen. But... Yuck! I did try one bite of zucchini. Clearly it was not raw, but also not cooked. Just warm, wilted and yuck! Certainly not something you could dip into hummus.

Not only was I disappointed with what was usually a delicious meal, but my dad spoke sharply to me and blamed me for not getting what I wanted by not being specific as to what I wanted. How could the waitress not understand what raw was? Gah! I didn't get angry. I don't know if it was her fault, the cook's fault, lack of communication or whatever. One of the owners was working in there but was very busy so I didn't get a chance to talk to her. By this point I had pretty much lost my appetite anyway. Cooked broccoli and asparagus just gag me to have to smell them. And even though the second batch wasn't technically "cooked", the first batch had been and had tainted the hummus with that odor. Blech!

So I guess next time if I get a wait person other than the owner I will have to be more specific and ask for some tomato wedges, cucmumber slices and carrot slices. But how can I explain to them that I do not want them to be cooked in any way?

[codajess]

I don't think you can dumb it down anymore than you have!!

[juliebove]

I don't think you can dumb it down anymore than you have!!

Well, that's kind of what I thought. But I thought maybe perhaps I was missing something.

[Helen Of Tennessee]

I know Victoria Boutenko carries a card(s) with her that states on it that she only eats raw food and below she lists all the foods she can have. She would give this to the server and ask her to have the chef be creative and see what he can make up with what was listed on the card. She always tips the chef.

Since you go to the restuarant frequently and order pretty much the same things, why not make up a card like that and hand it to the server. You can share verbally but then she/he would have it written in front of her. You could have a card for what you want on your salad, a card for what can be on the appetizer dish, etc. Maybe type on the very bottom DO NOT COOK ANY OF THE FOOD.

[seasidedaisy]

Funny Story. Before I went 100% raw I was on a no gluten diet. At Caraba's they have a gluten free menu.

I asked the waitress for the gluten free menu, she brings it and looks at me funny. Then she came back to take our order, she aksed me why I was on the gluten free diet because I am thin? I told her I was allergic to wheat. I could tell the lights came on. She thought it was glutton. lol I still laugh when I think about that.

Main Entry: glut·ton
Pronunciation: 'gl&-t&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English glotoun, from Anglo-French glutun, glotun, from Latin glutton-, glutto; akin to Latin gluttire to swallow, gula throat, Old English ceole
1 a : one given habitually to greedy and voracious eating and drinking b : one that has a great capacity for accepting or enduring something <a glutton for punishment>

[dreamrawalwz]

Funny Story. Before I went 100% raw I was on a no gluten diet. At Caraba's they have a gluten free menu.

I asked the waitress for the gluten free menu, she brings it and looks at me funny. Then she came back to take our order, she aksed me why I was on the gluten free diet because I am thin? I told her I was allergic to wheat. I could tell the lights came on. She thought it was glutton. lol I still laugh when I think about that.

Main Entry: glut·ton
Pronunciation: 'gl&-t&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English glotoun, from Anglo-French glutun, glotun, from Latin glutton-, glutto; akin to Latin gluttire to swallow, gula throat, Old English ceole
1 a : one given habitually to greedy and voracious eating and drinking b : one that has a great capacity for accepting or enduring something <a glutton for punishment>

When I was younger I used to always thing people said Gluttonous rice instead of glutenous rice lol...I used to always think "eww, I will never eat fat rice." or something like that lol.

[Conscious Midwife]

Poor Julie :confused:

First of all from a metaphysical stand point you put the energy out there for things to go wrong; you expected it, had fear of it happening and it did.

Next go round, start by affirming the experience and the individual. Let the waitress clearly know what you always recieve and be very detailed/specific and animated. Get her as excied about the preparation as you are the meal itself. Remember she is only as invested in the outcome as you help her to be. My guess is that she submitted the order on paper or via computer menu without the specifics, in the wrong assumption that the details were no big deal or that the chef would figure out what she scribbled.

If your dad noticed your lack of specificity, then you probably weren't specific enough. Communication is HUGE and what we don't say is often as important as what we do say.

I've told folks I'm eating raw and their assumption is that my food is not out the can or bag, but still cooked! DUH :confused:

One coworker who I thought understood the raw concept offered me a Coke, I expressed my desire for natural, fresh, raw vegetarian only consumption and she insisted that COKE didn't come from animals and that "it's not food, it's a drink, so have one". ( My thought's: Yeh i know it's not from animals and it's definately not food, it's battery cleaner which is why I don't want it). My response, 'thanks but no thanks I'll have water". Double Duh :confused: :confused:

But what I realized is that education with respect to nutrition is so far gone that often folks aren't speaking the same language. UNcooked seems to explain raw better to "some" folks then raw, but then ofcourse they want you to eat sishi with them. Imagine how many people call themselves vegetarian yet still consume eggs, fish, milk etc... so we have extended nomenclature, ovo. lacto, pesco VEGAN etc...

I like the create your own card idea

Since you frequent this restaurant, have them name a salad and side after you with you being measurement and content specific

Julie the GreeK salad

f. Romaine tossed in cold pressed olive oil
w/ 1c sundried tomatoes
1/2 c kalamatta olives
2 cups of julienne cucumber
1/4 shredded carrots
5 pepperconni
etc...

It's worrth it since you spend bucks there and know the owners. Plus it would be easier on the staf and more enjoyable for you.

[Veganforlife]

I agree - COMMUNICATION is the key. The card sounds like an excellent idea too, but who knows, the card might get left there or ground up into someone's something!
I specifically say what I want. If it comes back NOT what I want, it goes back. YOU are paying them to serve you what it is you request, and don't feel badly about it. You better believe some steak-lover that would get a well-done when they wanted rare would bellow about it! Loud and obnoxiously too!
Don't make excuses for them such as they were busy and all. That's rubbish. It takes no time at all to put some FRESH, RAW veggies on a plate and serve it. Your Dad was right. You SHOULD speak up. The servers could care less, it's a mindless, meaningless job for them. But if you don't educate them and make them aware of their lack of interest, they will never learn and maybe one day will make someone sick with an order that was specific and they goofed up on.
The older I get, the more I speak up. Not obnoxiously, but making my point. I am paying THEM to serve/wait on me. I want what I pay for and that's it.
Another reason I don't like eating out much...

[juliebove]

Funny Story. Before I went 100% raw I was on a no gluten diet. At Caraba's they have a gluten free menu.

I asked the waitress for the gluten free menu, she brings it and looks at me funny. Then she came back to take our order, she aksed me why I was on the gluten free diet because I am thin? I told her I was allergic to wheat. I could tell the lights came on. She thought it was glutton. lol I still laugh when I think about that.

Main Entry: glut·ton
Pronunciation: 'gl&-t&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English glotoun, from Anglo-French glutun, glotun, from Latin glutton-, glutto; akin to Latin gluttire to swallow, gula throat, Old English ceole
1 a : one given habitually to greedy and voracious eating and drinking b : one that has a great capacity for accepting or enduring something <a glutton for punishment>

Oh that's funny! My daughter is on a gluten free diet as well. Nobody seems to understand that one. At one restaurant we went to they put bacon, egg, cheese and croutons on the salad. When I asked for those items to be left off, they simply took one of the salads that had them on there and pulled them off. Another time I tried asking for the salad with the vegetables only. Waitress didn't get that either. And then there's the bunless burger thing I've seen too many times. She orders just a burger patty. No pan. They bring it out on the bun. When we say she can't have the bun, they take it back to the kitchen, throw out the bun and then bring it back with bits of bun still sticking to it. Aargh!

I can understand it when I'm dealing with a foreign person, but not with a person who speaks English.

[juliebove]

Poor Julie :confused:

First of all from a metaphysical stand point you put the energy out there for things to go wrong; you expected it, had fear of it happening and it did.

Next go round, start by affirming the experience and the individual. Let the waitress clearly know what you always recieve and be very detailed/specific and animated. Get her as excied about the preparation as you are the meal itself. Remember she is only as invested in the outcome as you help her to be. My guess is that she submitted the order on paper or via computer menu without the specifics, in the wrong assumption that the details were no big deal or that the chef would figure out what she scribbled.

If your dad noticed your lack of specificity, then you probably weren't specific enough. Communication is HUGE and what we don't say is often as important as what we do say.

I've told folks I'm eating raw and their assumption is that my food is not out the can or bag, but still cooked! DUH :confused:

One coworker who I thought understood the raw concept offered me a Coke, I expressed my desire for natural, fresh, raw vegetarian only consumption and she insisted that COKE didn't come from animals and that "it's not food, it's a drink, so have one". ( My thought's: Yeh i know it's not from animals and it's definately not food, it's battery cleaner which is why I don't want it). My response, 'thanks but no thanks I'll have water". Double Duh :confused: :confused:

But what I realized is that education with respect to nutrition is so far gone that often folks aren't speaking the same language. UNcooked seems to explain raw better to "some" folks then raw, but then ofcourse they want you to eat sishi with them. Imagine how many people call themselves vegetarian yet still consume eggs, fish, milk etc... so we have extended nomenclature, ovo. lacto, pesco VEGAN etc...

I like the create your own card idea

Since you frequent this restaurant, have them name a salad and side after you with you being measurement and content specific

Julie the GreeK saladf. Romaine tossed in cold pressed olive oil
w/ 1c sundried tomatoes
1/2 c kalamatta olives
2 cups of julienne cucumber
1/4 shredded carrots
5 pepperconni
etc...

It's worrth it since you spend bucks there and know the owners. Plus it would be easier on the staf and more enjoyable for you.

I don't think I was not specific. How much more specific can you be when you say "raw vegetables"? This particular restaurant is a small one and does not use a computer. Often the person taking your order is the person who also prepares your order. I think a great deal of the problem is that the waitress didn't know how the food was supposed to be to begin with.

I may have to resort to making up the card. Thanks!

[juliebove]

When I was younger I used to always thing people said Gluttonous rice instead of glutenous rice lol...I used to always think "eww, I will never eat fat rice." or something like that lol.

I was the assistant for a Home Ec class in Jr. High. One day I had to show a film strip and read the accompanying text as I went along. It was a very boring film strip about various foods. While the kids were looking at the screen, I'd glance down at the next line of text to see what I was going to read next. At first glance I read, "And look at this appalling beet dish!". But what it really said was, "And look at this APPEALING beet dish!" Even though I knew what the card really said, I got it in my mind the other way and really it did look appalling. It was an old film strip, probably from the 50's or 60's where everything was over-garnished and served in whimsical bowls. I got myself into such a fit of giggles I couldn't finish reading the card. One of the students had to read it for me. And of course nobody thought it was funny when I told them what had happened.

[Sharon in Colorado]

I agree, you probably could have a menu item named after you. My friend did this at Keva juice. She had them create something called "Raw Power" which had all kinds of raw stuff in it, plus a shot of wheat grass juice. So anyone can now go in there and ask for "The Raw Power" off the menu.

Another thing, and I don't know if this would help, is to use the word "FRESH". As in "I'd like my salad with only fresh, raw fruits and vegetables"... Or you could just order "EVERYTHING ON THE SIDE" that way you are sure to get what you want, and whatever is left over take home in a doggie bag and drop it off with a homeless person.

However there will always be someone who takes your order who either has no idea or concern about your diet, and is truly not taking any kind of interest in it, no matter what. Some folks are just like that.

[tammay]

Julie, I sympathize. I've had this experience recently before going raw but with being vegan. I was amazed at how the world is so geared towards meat and dairy (and by extention, cooked food) when I first experienced ordering out in restaurants. The past few months I've been all over the country - in San Francisco, in Texas, in the Midwest - because i've been traveling. Almost with every restaurants (and there were many!) I had to scrounge to get something I could eat and even then I had to explain to the waitperson what I wanted and why. In one place the waitress opened these big cow eyes and said, "God, how do you live???" (i.e., without meat and dairy). I said, "Very well because I eat HEALTHY". At that same restuarant I ordered a bean burrito (the only thing I could eat) and I got a third into it before I hit the goop of cheese. I pointed this out ot the waitress and i got the cow eyes again: "But [the cook] NEVER puts cheese in it!"

More recently, I went with my parents in my area to a mexican restaurant and ordered yet another bean burrito (but with some veggies in it). Halfway through i found a few pieces of meat in it. When I pointed this out to the waitress, she aplogized and said probably the cook was grilling some meat fajitas at the same time he was grilling my veggies.

This is yet another reason why (other than the usual reasons that it's way more calories eating out and way more expensive...) I loath eating out and usually do not do it unless my parents are visiting or I'm traveling.

Tam

[ljannise]

Years ago when I was a vegetarian, hubbs & I went into Quiznos. I would always get the spicy monterrey- NO MEAT. It took this lady f o r e v e r to understand what that meant. Hubbs was getting so pizzed. After the 3rd time of making it WITH meat, she looked at my husband & said "It's not meat, it's ham."

I didnt think anyone was that bad. After that I sweared that I had heard it ALL!!

[Sharon in Colorado]

It took this lady f o r e v e r to understand what that meant. Hubbs was getting so pizzed. After the 3rd time of making it WITH meat, she looked at my husband & said "It's not meat, it's ham."

I didnt think anyone was that bad. After that I sweared that I had heard it ALL!!

:eek:

For cryin' out loud! I think some people need a special sign on their forehead so you could just say, "Anything that comes from an animal, lady"!

[juliebove]

Years ago when I was a vegetarian, hubbs & I went into Quiznos. I would always get the spicy monterrey- NO MEAT. It took this lady f o r e v e r to understand what that meant. Hubbs was getting so pizzed. After the 3rd time of making it WITH meat, she looked at my husband & said "It's not meat, it's ham."

I didnt think anyone was that bad. After that I sweared that I had heard it ALL!!

Heh! Reminds me of the British comedy I saw where the young guy took his girlfriend to a family party. He explained to the family that she was vegetarian. An elderly relative then took him aside and whispered, "But could she eat some of that ham if it was cut up very fine?"

It also amazes me how many people think that meat = beef. My mom went on a "vegetarian" diet but still ate fish and chicken claiming that it was the third type of vegetarian. I gave up on that one.

[Cinnamon]

I went to lunch with a girlfriend about a year ago, to a place that I don't usual go. Well, I was very specific to what I wanted on my salad and by the time I was done explaining I think I had the poor waitress so confused as to what I would or would not eat. (Just as much my problem as hers!)

So when my salad arrived it was mixed greens, that was it! No carrots, tomatoes, or other fresh veggies that I had asked for based on their other salad ingredients. So as I was eating my very plain salad (with lemon wedges for dressing) the manager came over to check on our meals. I pointed to my salad and started to laugh explaining what I'd tried to order. He said he'd be back in a minute. Well he comes out of the kitchen with the most beautiful plate filled with shredded and cut up veggies in such a pretty presentation. Made my day!

No real helpful advise here, just a fun story this post reminded me of that I'd not thought of recently.

[DavidZaneMason]

Opinion:

-Why don't YOU bring good food - and show others how to eat....rather than waiting for good food to be brought to you?

-No one will probably EVER fully understand your needs.....and you might not be able to communicate them. BUT, you DO have to make sure they are provided for - by yourself.

-David Mason

[juliebove]

Opinion:

-Why don't YOU bring good food - and show others how to eat....rather than waiting for good food to be brought to you?

-No one will probably EVER fully understand your needs.....and you might not be able to communicate them. BUT, you DO have to make sure they are provided for - by yourself.

-David Mason

In this state it is a health code violation to bring food into a restaurant. My daughter and I were visiting my parents and we went to a restaurant because that is what they wanted. We offered to make dinner but they don't like eating at their house and just wanted to go out. As I said, we do frequent this restaurant. We know the owners and have no problems when they wait on us. They already know what we eat and how we eat it. But they didn't wait on us. It was someone else who apparently not only couldn't understand what I was saying, also didn't know how they normally make the things on the menu.

[blaqberry]

Years ago when I was a vegetarian, hubbs & I went into Quiznos. I would always get the spicy monterrey- NO MEAT. It took this lady f o r e v e r to understand what that meant. Hubbs was getting so pizzed. After the 3rd time of making it WITH meat, she looked at my husband & said "It's not meat, it's ham."

I didnt think anyone was that bad. After that I sweared that I had heard it ALL!!


LOL "gawd"

...I also used to vegetarian years back, can definitely relate to that one!

*shakes head, more laughing*

[Lay-Lay]

I know Victoria Boutenko carries a card(s) with her that states on it that she only eats raw food and below she lists all the foods she can have. She would give this to the server and ask her to have the chef be creative and see what he can make up with what was listed on the card. She always tips the chef.

Since you go to the restuarant frequently and order pretty much the same things, why not make up a card like that and hand it to the server. You can share verbally but then she/he would have it written in front of her. You could have a card for what you want on your salad, a card for what can be on the appetizer dish, etc. Maybe type on the very bottom DO NOT COOK ANY OF THE FOOD.

I did this and I found it only confused them more. Some people just do not understand the terms RAW and UNCOOKED. It sometimes just baffles the mind.

I often look through the menu and find something that has is mostly raw stuff then tell them what I want them to leave off and what to add if anything. Usually I bring some homemade salad dressing along if I need to dress something up.

[dreamrawalwz]

going out isn't that difficult for me. Friends know of my food allergies and now raw so I always pick. I always chose 1 out of 2 salad bars around here. Other than tht I don't eat out. Usually pick up fruit at the store if we're on vacation or something. If the instance does occure I tell them a plain salad. Sometimes I look at the menu to see what raw veggies they have available and ask if they can add that. If not no problem :)

[mcasburn]

I just went through the same thing (sigh). I ordered a mixed salad that was described on the menu as "mixed"... no details. I asked the waiter if everything was raw, and he said "oh, definitely". I asked what was in it, and he said, "oh, it's seasonal, changes all of the time." reassured me again that it was all raw. So I ordered it with lemon for the dressing.

It arrived....and what do you know? It was pre-mixed with VINIAGRETTE, COOKED BARLEY and COOKED BLACK-EYED PEAS. The lemon wedges were sitting next to a bowl of that processsed "lemon in a squeezie bottle" stuff.

I'll take the blame for not pushing hard enough on the ingredients. Live and learn... and stay mindful that we are far better educated than most of the planet regarding which foods are raw and which are not.

[DavidZaneMason]

I hear you Julie. I suppose they can make being happy a health code violation too! :)

-If you don't want to buck the system....then eat before you go out. Order a glass of water....and enjoy why you are REALLY there - to be with those you care about.

-David Mason

[Sharon in Colorado]

I know what she means too. I have found it frustrating where before I'd go to a 'regular' place and get what I requested, but then someone new comes along and can't get the order right no matter what.

I think it was more of a matter of that, then anything else.

[Conscious Midwife]

Went to PANERAS today and the romaine, tomatoes and strawberies were perfectly RAW and filling. That's what i asked for and that's what i got.

The other salad fixins were out of the can/jar so i left them. Boy I really wanted those olives :p

[juliebove]

I hear you Julie. I suppose they can make being happy a health code violation too! :)

-If you don't want to buck the system....then eat before you go out. Order a glass of water....and enjoy why you are REALLY there - to be with those you care about.

-David Mason

Easier said than done with my family. For some reason they get all bent out of shape when I do that. They say I am causing all the problems in the family food-wise. Even when I think I am doing something not to cause them problems, they get even angrier.

[DavidZaneMason]

-Sure. I can only imagine what that's like. But sooner or later.....you can't expect them to understand....or even be convinced.......but YOU can only provide a good, successful, and happy example. If you are happy despite their disapproval......you will make converts. Being upset because they are upset does not do YOU any favors! LOL.

-Like I said: If it's a big deal - then just fill up before you go out.....and take joy in your family and friends. If they question you: Tell them you are there to see THEM....and already ate....which is true.

-You will succeed - I'm sure!

-David Mason