Depression is so depressing.....

[Kristi]

As I've said in an earlier post, I was very excited that the doctor said I could reduce one of my antidepressants until they were gone.......I think it was about 3 weeks ago. I've been doing every other day. Well, I crashed this past week. I didn't want to believe it wasn't working. I wanted to be "normal." I wanted to believe that there wasn't something wrong with me. I've done so well with the raw and exercise. I thought between the hormone cream and thyroid med, along with all the wholesome foods and natural endorphins, I'd be finally getting off the antidepressants. My friend said I was pulling away, I was losing my enthusiasm in class, losing the intensity that I usually trained at. I didn't see it. I started to snap at the kids, the house felt gloomy, I felt uglier, wanted to nap in the afternoon. All this and I still didn't see it. I did about 80% raw but at night I didn't do well because I ate for emotions and anger I felt inside. After an all out crying fit, I realized something had to change. I went back on the meds. Amazing that after only a couple days, I felt better. I certainly understand depression but I really want to be cured from it. I want off the medicines. I hate spending the money on them, too. With all the changes in diet, why can't I be off them.........yes, depression is so depressing.

Besides just going raw is there anything specific that I should be doing or eating to get off these meds? For some reason I can handle the thought of being on a thyroid pill for ever but not antidepressants. Why is that?

Thanks for listening.

[NWgal]

Hi Kristi :)

I fight the exact same issue in myslef. Its a social stigma thing for me I guess. I just wanted to say to you.. Its ok :). I havent even started my raw food lifestyle yet. So I just have no information on what to take or eat.
All I know to say is your not alone in your feelings.


(((((hug)))))

:)

[kirk]

Hi Kristi,
Sorry to hear that you have to go back on the anti-depressants. :( I haven't much to offer except maybe the link below. You may look through there and hopefully find some answers.

http://www.curezone.com/forums/f.asp?f=27

kirk

[Kristi]

Thanks NWgal and Kirk.

That curezone is overwhelming. I think I'll look at it again later. The "foods that kill" list have all been eliminated from my diet. That's good news.

Thanks again.

[thunderdancer]

Heya ((( Kristi )))

1st of all - i've never been on depression meds so I can't pretend to understand how it feels, BUT I have been depressed and I have experienced having to live on meds - for asthma and allergies.

Have you looked into alternative treatments for depressions.. like taking st John's wort or supplementing your omega 3 fatty acids?

I guess i'm thinking if it was me (and of course I can't do this really coz i'm not there) I would like to wean off the meds too, big time - I know the feeling of wanting to be free. With depression it must be doubly so, I can understand that xx I think i'd go to the doc and ask for a lower dose, like not skip alternate days but take a slightly lower dose instead, only slightly, then if thats ok, go down some more.. I don't know, i'm no dr but with my meds I did this. I remember being off them for a while and feeling so happy I was off, but then something triggered me and it was awful and I tried not to take anything but in the end I had to. I felt so shit, like I wasn't natural and I couldn't survive without drugs, I hated it. But what happened was I got more and more healed. It's been let see... a year and 8 months (ish) and no meds but I know i'm not healed yet - I still feel it when i'm in a smoky room, I can feel it now - I can feel my chest when i'm detoxing, and I know when I go home to the UK I will come in contact with more triggers - animals for example and the thing is we have to be gentle with ourselves. WE WILL HEAL.

I have NO doubt Kristi, and that's a BIG thing to say eh?

I'd say research, if you haven't already, into ways to naturally boost yourself, natural remedies etc. help the healing, go deep into yourself if you are into that, build up your self confidence and self love and approval, Louise Hay is one who is amazing for me - so amazing I hardly dare to pick up the books ;)

Of course, you may already be doing all this - i'm doing a load of assuming - i'm really just saying what i'm doing and most of all saying that you ARE normal, you WILL BE off the meds. Dare I say it.. my most hated and most cherished word.. p a t i e n c e - be gentle, I hate it too but we can't rush the healing. When I feel I can't be goddam patient anymore I get on the net and research.
In fact... if you want any help there i'm your man :D

Tonnes of love and we are BETTER than normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lil]

Depression is a classic symptom for a thyroid disorder. What thyroid meds are you on? What kind of hormone cream are you on?. Many people find relieve from the depression by getting on the right med and the right dose (I have Hashimoto's and I read a lot on thyroid stuff....). Also, I was just reading on how some antidepression, like prozac, are actually known to induce hypothyroidism. Plus - many antidepressants are addictive (even though the manufactuers say they are not...) - all the more reason they are hard to give up.
Have you tried any therapy?. I would think that would be the best way to get off of them - to find out what's holding you back. But you would need a therapists that's open to your ideas.
I haven't researched much on this issue - but I'm sure there is lots out there. I would start at an alternative or health related bookstore. I'm on a few alternative health forums but they mostly talk about the dangers of SSRI's...but if I see anything on getting off of them, I'll pass it along.
FYI: I use St John's Wort.

[Kristi]

I've tried St John's and it didn't help. I take armour thyroid 60mg. I take 300mg Wellbutrin (200 am and 100 pm), Lexapro 10mg daily and a progesterone cream daily. The Lexapro is what I was starting with to get off them. I did two days on then one off for about 2 weeks and then every other day......then I crashed. I was on prozac for a long time several years ago. I did therapy. She was awesome. Very open to raw and so many natural things but she believed the depression was totally related to a chemical imbalance in the brain not something holding me back. We made some small life changes and I opened about past traumas. I've done tons of reading and research........I do tons of exercise for those endorphins. Let me know if you learn anything and thank you!!!!!!

[smasty]

(((((Kristi))))) (that means hugs in case you didn't know)

I'm so sorry to hear you had a rough week. I don't have experience here, I wish I could help. Hopefully it's something that will just take a long while to heal, bits at a time. Stay the course, get back to where you feel you can maintain.

[Sadii]

Hi Kristi,

I just stopped taking Effexor, and I kind of know how you feel, at least as much as another can. I started taking it because it's supposed to increase energy in those with CFS. I tried to cut back to every other day, but ended up feeling like I had the flu. Finally, I started pouring out a tiny portion of each pill, roughly the same tiny amount each day for about a week. Then I poured out a bit more for another week and just kept on until I was to about 1/32 of a capsule. I quit after a week of that. Believe it or not, I still felt funky, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It's been two weeks, and sometimes I still feel that feeling, but less and less.

This may not help you at all, but just know that I send my hugs, too. You've probably already tried 5-HTP, right?

Hugs,
Kathy :)

[thunderdancer]

((( Kristi )))

same as smasty :)

she's SO right.
I try to fix fix fix all the time, faster faster damn it, I want it yesterday!
I truley believe you are doing TONNES to heal, wonderful things for your body, mind and spirit.
Hang in there, believe in yourself, I believe in you xx

[Sweet lips]

Hi Kristi,

I too take meds for depression and also I am hypothyroid because 25 years ago, I had thyroid cancer and had my gland removed. Currently, I am take 10 mg of lexapro, after two years of celexa - which had been known to cause liver damage.

I can honestly say I understand where you are and I know what depression can do and how it can make you feel. I too want to come off of my meds - I also have diabetes, high cholesteral and hypertension [I think, bp is so much better], and survived a bout with uterine cancer. I am highly intelligent and gifted in many areas, as I suspect you are. Those are gift, and sometimes we feel like they are a curse. I do not say that to brag, I say that because often, we take the lead on things, we keep things inside, hurts, pain and sadness because we may have created a certain criteria to live by, and when we don't live up to our criteria, it can cause us to fall. I have had some very difficult times in my life and because of those times, I tried to handle those things, and not cause trouble, and it began to feed on me in the inside, thus the depression. I am not bi-polar, I just have depression, just like I have moles.

I make a joke about it - because it is so very serious. I never wanted to die, I just didn't know how to live. Since my last episode, I have had to pull back from some activites, learn to say no, and realized that I can't be all things to everyone. I also found out, that there are some people, I don't care for, and vice versa and you know it really is okay. Since I have started my raw journey, I have a better sense of self. Somedays, I still feel unattractive, and I am not ugly, but on those days, I can not be persuaded otherwise, some days, I feel grumpy, and some days I have such a sense of well being, I could just propell up into the atomosphere. I belive now that God does hear my prayers, although, logic tells me He did so in the past, and he answered them as well, but without joy, it didn't seem so. I am learning to look at a blade a grass and see it's beauty. I also am not so stuffy, everything doesn't have to be perfect, although some times it would be nice :p But perfect is as perfect does, and that makes it perfect!

Today, a woman told me that when she used to observe me, she thought I was very focused and very busy with a good job that kept me like that. Yes, I do have a good job, but I had a lot of noise in my head, and I had to focus from falling apart.

I wrote all that to say, it is a daily journey. Mine too is a chemical imbalance. Please do not be discouraged by the mere fact that you are still medicated, each day is a new day with tender mercies abound. You have made wonderful strides and accomplishments and you have encouraged me as well as others. The devil will come a knocking at your door, and that is okay because that's when you know you are doing the right thing.

Look at yourself and see your healing - see the changes that have come about that are so positive - investigate when the darkness started, what could have triggered and live in the now, not the yesterdays, nor the tomorrows. There will always be yesterdays and tomorrows, but if you focus on them, you could miss the nows.

Be blessed Kirsti, in your comings and your goings

[thunderdancer]

sweetlips,

I just had to thank you for this:

***The devil will come a knocking at your door, and that is okay because that's when you know you are doing the right thing.***

That is one that really strikes home with me, thank you so much, one for me to keep.

Bless YOU in your comings and goings

Namaste

[yeahbethany]

hugs for kristi. it is hard, i know. when i first was on lexapro, it made me so sleepy all the time and i just wanted to be off them. all I can say is, hang in there. you've made such remarkable progress in the past couple of months, and I'm sure you will continue to make progress. so maybe it is in the cards for someday down the road...

You are doing amazing, Kristi. I am so inspired by your progress.

-Bethany =)

[lil]

A great book is "Natural Highs" by Hyla Cass. She thoroughly reviews various antidepressants and alternatives.
It took me awhile to find a St John's Wort that worked. They are not all made the same. Not that I'm pushing it - but that with alternative supplements, the quality can vary between manufactuers.
I would still explore the thyroid connection. I'm sure you've seen Mary Shomon's site and her stuff opn depression?. It seems important that the TSH be below 1 in order to curb depression. A lot of people tweak their thyroid meds (up them) but it's not something I really recommend.
It could be chemical - that's a pretty traditional view of depression, but again, depression is such a classic with thyroid disorders and that likely means it's hormones. The thyroid can make a mess of all your hormones.
Perhaps you tried to go off the meds to quickly? You may need a slower descent.
If this helps - I know some women that have reduced their thyroid medication just from eating raw....
Hang in there!