View Full Version : What do we do with the "others"?.
I helped out at a party last night for a client. The client wanted chinese food - so a huge amount was ordered in. There was also a lot of the ususal party junk food throughout the room. There was a lot of people there - clients and staff.
I came prepared with my daily insulated bag stuffed with fruit and veggies. The only way I was going to get through this party was to munch on fruit (grape and prunes) throughout the evening.
While helping a coworker with serving the food (ugh! overcooked and full of meat!) she asked me: " Are you not eating, AGAIN?". I was a bit stunned...and said: "What do you mean? I've been eating non stop since I got here!" and I pointed to my bag of grapes on the counter. "I mean eating REAL food" she responded. Again, I was taken back. I said: "I brought some salad from home. You know I don't eat meat. You don't think fruit and salad are real food?". She responded, "I mean food with substance." and as she walked away, she turned and said "I'm only teasing you...." ( I must have looked stunned!).
Sadly, this was from someone who spent the whole evening complaining about her health!. But I was a little thrown by her confrontation. How could eating fruits and vegetables be seen as 'not eating'?.
Anyone have similar experiences with the "others"?.
09-05-2004, 10:44 AM
Yes , I've faced the same thing in my current and soon to be former job. The social aspects of raw are hard for many to understand. I go to plenty of business functions that are not raw. I eat ahead of time and have a few raw snacks in my briefcase or car.
My co workers know I'm raw and most accept it. It's the clients and new friends who need to adjust. I try to keep a low profile when it's dinner time and we are discussing business. I just make a simple low key gesture to the waitstaff that I'm just going to have a salad. When asked by the client "why aren't you eating "Real Food". I honestly tell them. My co-workers chime in to bust my chops and mention that M.B. is on a special diet so let him tell you about it.
It really gets the conversation flowing.The client can see how committed I am to a project by sticking to raw and hopefully can see that spills over into my work. I really give it the old college try.I mention my focus and energy and the mental clarity aspects. Some are quite intrigued.
On the other hand, the client may think I'm a total wacko and dismiss me all together. That's when he goes back to eating his pork rings and mountain dew.
The things we do for raw. Hey that sounds like a song doesn't it?
09-05-2004, 11:06 AM
Yeah - it's like when we are so 'different' (as in actually CARING about our health and diet) people just assume it's ok to insult and make jibes and judgements. I've found this at times altho i've been very out of the 'limelight' where I live, which has helped!
It's prejudice. Some people feel that because we are the ones who are different/in the minority - they have a right to pass judgement, it's pure prejudice in these cases (IMO).
I find it hard enough now that people around me have got used to how I eat and live, because they still tend to make it the topic of dicussion at every meal or get together and I just don't want that. It's dying down a bit now as time goes on and I hope that as I move home and see family and friends more it will just be a part of life - not the hot topic! Sometimes I don't even want to go out as I know I will end up being the subject of debate.
I really find it hard how just coz i'm not 'in the majority' I therefore should expect to be picked apart bit by bit.
I LIKE talking about it when it's a new, non-judgemental (rare) person, it just gets to me when it's over and over again or it's people like you describe.
I used to feel SO defensive (easy when you're being attacked!) and used to get het up and feel so angry/upset sometimes that i just wanted to leave the restaurant. I felt like I had to explain myself, which I DON'T! Like "yeah, i'm eating 2 small side salads and that's not much, but thats because the restaurant doesn't have a big varied salad like I would normally eat at home" and so on. I learned to sit back, I learned not to rise to it - and I learned this because of a particular friend who lives to get a rise out of people. He taught me by being the way he is. He taught me to sit back, just smile, be confident in myself and so much so that I could just say 'I don't want to be the topic of dicussion thank you' or even just to listen to him and not retort - VERY hard in my case :D
I guess this just shows how raw teaches us so much more than just eating well - it teaches us how to accept, how to 'not take things personally' and how to let go, how to be strong and confident. Hard at times for sure.
I'm definitely going to be put to the test when I return home soon - I will be getting a job for the 1st time since going raw as well.
09-05-2004, 05:16 PM
Awesome posts here! When I was juice fasting it was really hard. That was 3 months ago and people are still surprised to see me eat...anything!! I don't know why they feel the need to comment on my food so much? It goes to show what an anomoly wholesome fruits and veggies are becoming.
Nice post Thunder!
09-06-2004, 02:10 AM
thanks smasty :)
I forgot to mention fasting - cor yeah, I did a juice fast and even went oiut to dinner with friends on it (we don't see them often) and that challenged them!! The very idea that I could sit at the table, NOT eat and ENJOY the night - it surprised me and I was so happy, but it challenged them for sure.
09-06-2004, 07:06 AM
I bet if we turned the tables and talked all the time about the poison they feed themselves and the ailments they maintain because of their lifestyle.....we'd be less than popular......but it seems to be ok for them. Can you imagine commenting on the glass of milk they are drinking by calling it pus or talking about the dead animal they are eating or the many chemical poisons they eat in the processed foods and say "no wonder you have headached", "no wonder you feel terrible", "stop complaining about your weight while you eat all that junk." I don't mean to suggest we treat them like they treat us.......but wouldn't it be interesting if the shoe was on the other foot......
09-06-2004, 07:33 AM
Hi all, just joined the forums and wanted to comment on this thread.
Isn't it amazing how the large food corporations have through advertising change our common sense thinking concerning what is good for you and what isn't? I work a local Wal-Mart supercenter and I had a body building friend of mine give me a challenge while I was working. He said when you past someone in the grocery section look to see what's in their cart first before you look at them. If you see mostly pre-packaged food and meat in their cart they are mostly likely overweight. If you see more fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and such they will be mostly slim and trim. lol well he was right! The very sad thing is 2 out of every 3 people I see come into the store is overweight.:(
I have had people I work with comment on my eating fruits and vegetables instead of the local fast food. Amazingly in the mid afternoon when I still have energy to complete my day, they are slowly down.
09-06-2004, 08:09 AM
You are so right, Curtis. I always imagine that Alissa is the checkout cashier. Would Alissa approve? I guess I get a little weird after a long stay in the grocery and waiting in line. :p
I sometimes tell people I'm eating raw. It just depends the situation and how much attention I want. If we are talking about it, the debate usually ends up to be about protein: "your not getting enough" - which I usually answer "Yep", so they leave me alone!.
It was hard when I did the Master Cleanse. No one would have gotten that!. So I just said I wasn't eating because I had blood work the next day.
I'm really noticing more and more how sick people are after eating cooked food. Ever notice? Either they are complaining ("oh, I'm so tired...") or they have physical symptoms - like running to the washroom, sinus problems (stuffed up, clearing their throats) or their behaviour changes. I don't think I ever paid much attention to that before.
09-06-2004, 09:21 AM
I can be blunt with my mom and she complains all the time about how she feels after she eats.......she'll complain and I'll ask, what did you eat? Always something bad that she knows always upsets her......why do you do it mom????? You don't purposely stub your toe cause you know it will hurt so why do you purposely eat stuff that you know will hurt you?
I guess we all learn in our own way in our own timeframe.
09-06-2004, 11:26 AM
Hi Guys! Welcome Curtis...hey speaking of grocery stores...you know what's sad? Everytime I check out with all my fruits and veggies, the checkout kids have to ask me "what's this?"....um, eggplant. "What's this".....um cilantro. "What's this?" .....um, papaya. Unless it's corn, they don't recognize veggies out out here! :mad:
09-06-2004, 11:27 AM
So far just about everyone I see remembers me 7 months ago, 50 pounds heavier, sick and without enough energy to get through the day. They can't argue with what they see. I am going to have to find some before pictures and take some afters for those that I meet anew that might question what I am doing.
My husband too, 50 pounds ago and full of medicines he is now free of all medications (high blood pressure meds and the meds that counter those meds etc). Who can argue with that?
My inlaws came to visit a few months ago. Since we had turned the stove and oven into a sprouting center and the microwave, toaster and crockpot were long gone we decided this was their opportunity to try something new. I had been raw a short time and we were primarily very happy eating simply but I knew I had to find some recipes that had some substance and variety. I hadn't found Alissa yet and the books I had were less practical in the everyday living sort of way but I found enough in an old Ann Wigmor book..made nut and seed loafs, raw corn salads, bought flax crackers, humus, various dressings and dips.Made frozen banana and berry ice cream. They loved it. After three days their tastes changed. They couldn't find anything satisfactory to eat on their drive home...."it seemed all the vegetables were drowned"...I had packed several things for them and this is what satisfied them.
If someone questions protein I mention greens and the chlorophyl blood connection and mention the sizes of cows, horses and elephants and gorillas. Also, as humans we have the ability to pick (literally) and choose. Our thinking minds can figure things out rather than just eat what's in front of us ie. what they tell us to eat on the tube. When I first went raw I saw ads for those chocolate tongue shaped wafer things. Having been a chocoholic I wondered about that. I wasn't craving chocolate anymore but I saw how this was being marketed as almost a medicine..A wafer that melts on your tongue, everybody gets energetic and happy.
So more than everI am seeing how psychologically driven people are. The further the way I am from the SAD the more I see how influenced people are by things other than natural hunger. A real sociological study this is becoming.
Once while painting outside with a group of people I was close to a conversation about skinning animals which led to their observations of how chickens react when you kill them depending on the different ways you do it. There was excitement in the voices, the general tone of the conversation was upbeat and unless you were knowing what they were talking about it sounded like a positive, happy, intelligent exchange.
One of the women teaches at the local college, a really nice, gentle person,( many pounds overweight) the other is a new painting student from one of the alternative colleges in the area (who I would have thougt to be vegan since most of them are there). They obviously knew each other before joining the group.
It reminded me of bad drivers. These could be the nicest people but put them behind the drivers seat and watch out!
I have become very sensitive to a lot of things since going raw. We bought a new used car and decided to treat ourselves to some nice seat covers. We both had the same thing in mind when we went into the shop..sheep skin of course. There we were feeling it, putting our faces in it when suddenly we both looked up at each other in horror and said SHEEP SKIN!!?? So we bought the acrylic alternative.
It's hard be around anything that has to do with abuse of any kind. This hasn't made things easier especially when it comes to people I am close to..the illnesses and problems from what they put in their mouths. I have to tell myself constantly that I didn't arrive at this place overnight and that everyone has their own path and timing. All I can be is an example (and not a preacher) The best I can do sometimes is say, "Here, try one of these" and hand them one of Alissa's fudge balls rolled in coconut.
09-06-2004, 01:09 PM
Nice post Jeanne,
What I find is happening to me as I open myself to learning about these things who I need to learn them from comes into my life. And like you I have to be loving and kind when I share what I have learned so far because of the "brainwashing" the advertisers have done folks.
Wow congrats on you and your husbands weight loss. :) hehe hard to argue with results thats for sure.
09-06-2004, 02:48 PM
Most of the time, when people asked me what I am eating- I tell them. I really don't mind splaining to them - although it is foreign to some, especially the different veggies and fruit that I buy. I too Sue, have had the grocer people ask me during checkout - what is this, what do you do with that. I just tell them. I did have one checker stop and write down a suggestions for prepartion of the jicima.
I don't get offended when people make comments, probably because I have always walked to a differnt drum beat - the fun thing has been comments like, whatever you are doing, keep on doing it, because you look healthy, great, skin is glowing etc. Although, I noticed that my sister-in-law, feels it necessary to tell people that I no longer eat meat, when we are at family dinners or in a restuarant - which stikes me actually as really funny because I didn't think going raw made me unable to speak. Perhaps it did, I dunno! :D
I agree with Jeanne, and I pray that my example will speak for itself, because I am still in progress and ate SAD for many of year and consumed dead animals, and as a result, through study, divine intervention, I made a change that is saving my life. I too notice sick people, but I am not all well yet, so when I look, I too am looking at me. I will say I am better, but my journey is just beginning and I am glad about it! :)
Be blessed in your comings and your goings
09-06-2004, 02:56 PM
AWESOME post Jeanne! and hi :)
This is a brilliant topic, I just wanted to thank everyone for thier posts - totally brilliant!
09-06-2004, 11:25 PM
Thanks Thunderdancer and Curtis and I agree, a great thread!
I love Kristi's word pictures. I see Alissa behind a checkout counter and instead of packing things into a bag I see her tossing packages over her shoulder without a glance and then every now and then she gently puts a green leafy into a bag. The tossed things end up in a wheel barrow...then what happens? Does the wheel barrow get taken out to the dumpster or does it all get put back on the shelves?...I wonder..
I am also at the beginning Sweetlips. But like you the difference from the recent past is like day and night. I can look at some of the people that are so obviously ill and remember like it was yesterday the fog and depressioin I lived in. I do think that I had to reach a certain depth of despair for a strong change to occurr. My husband had to be told there was no way out from the BP medications. My son had to feel sick after eating 90% of the time. Still, I have others in my family who are preparing a 2 1/2 year old for an adenoidectomy and ear tubes next month.
Curtis, I am going to try the grocery cart experiment. This might be a good idea to do with children. Not to be judgemental but there is so much non truth bombarding them all the time this kind of thing can bring something home. Imagine kids going up to people with a questionaire.. I can imagine what kind of questions a kid could get away with asking. 'Excuse me ma'am would you mind if I asked you some questions for my science project? "Why no sonny go right ahead"..hee hee
Well, raw is more than a fad and as we get healthier the anti's will be eating their words along with their twinkies.
Love you all,
Sadly, but I think that wheelbarrow probably ends up at the food bank.
When I was eating more cooked vegan, people would often comment "Ewww...what's that?", to my lentil loaf or some other thing I cooked up. Now eating fruit all day, I hear more of "ohhh, that's healthy" or "ohhhh, that looks good...." and more often than not, I'm sharing my fruit.
And the same comments come when I'm eating salad. Sometimes I hear - "I need to eat more healthy like you..." and there are a few people that have started making changes, like going to the gym, eating more salad. It does rub off!
09-07-2004, 01:04 PM
Hmm never thought of that lil but it is true. When I eat around my friends and have fruit or a salad that is exactly what they say. :)
09-07-2004, 01:31 PM
I too get those responses. I like to bring tastes and recipes into work, takes the mystery out of it. People love trying out these things. This is all going in a good direction.
Good grief I forgot about the food bank. It reminds me of the notices we get now and then to leave 'unperishables' out at the mail box for a food drive. Little do they know,those babies perished long befre they hit the box/can. I just thought of something. I can start leaving dried things..maybe an assortment with sprouting directions and directions for rehydrating. It's a thought since I had to skip the last food drive.. my conscience wouldn't let me buy any of that boxed stuff.
09-07-2004, 07:05 PM
Hmm I just reread your post earlier Jeanne and think is it so cool your hubby don't have to use BP medications anymore. :) My mom takes some, lol but it may be a bit hard talking to her about this since she is a registered nurse! Well maybe after seeing the improvement in me.
09-08-2004, 06:16 PM
Yes, the evidence in health and outward physical changes left Michael's(my husbands) parents speechless when they saw him. For a while we only had phone conversations and so they kept their skeptisism even though they were hearing about all the changes. Seeing someone in the flesh seems to be what renders all arguments null and void.
I do believe that there are those who will argue against something even when the truth is staring them in the face. This is why I appreciate this community so much. I can handle the naysayers if I can come back to 'my world' Otherwise I'd have to become a hermit.
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