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View Full Version : 5.5 month update: socially sad but mostly raw



TP
07-20-2006, 02:25 PM
my first few months of eating a 100% raw diet went great. i picked a time/season for me to begin raw when i didnt have much going on socially, and was able to get in around 3.5 months or so without compromising in the few social scenarios I had. That whole time I was prepared to eat cooked in social scenarios, and had a couple close calls, but managed to stay all raw.

starting in May, social events started happenning more frequently and I found myself having to test my preplanned theory, which has been to eat some cooked food in social circumstances in order to avoid the raw spotlight that happens when trying to stay raw, and for convenience sake. at first it was fine, with me making pretty good choices and not going to the really no no stuff, and even sometimes staying raw. Over time though, when I've gone to eat a cooked meal, I've been finding myself getting more and more lax about the choices, and have ended up eating some real junk and even eating steak and pizza, etc.. A cooked meal for me is being ingested on average now on a weekly basis. I am not as able anymore to make the best choices in all of those situations. I find myself just eating whatever is there or sounds good. Last night at mexican food with family and friends, and I could have had a salad, but after having already succumbed to the chips and salsa, I chose fajitas instead. they were tastey, but i surely felt like the crap i had just eaten afterward.

I simply hate the way cooked food makes me feel. Full, fat, bloated, tired, sluggish, etc.. It takes a week or so for me to get the raw energy feel again after a cooked meal, and lately with the cooked meals happening on a weekly basis, I am not getting the clean and energetic raw feel back at all, and I miss it!

At this point it's a no win issue for me. I hate having to deal with remaining raw in social circumstances, and I hate the cooked food feel, so either way, I lose. Yet, I am still unwilling to stay raw in all social circumstances, so it has to be about damage control for me. I have been there and done that with staying raw in social circumstances, and simply can't stand dealing with peoples reactions/opinions/problems. I won't even draw the line at meat because I hate dealing with people questioning the vegan aspect. I have been there and done that as well with being a hermit and avoiding social circumstances as well, and that obviously doesn't work for overall happiness. In some social scenarios, I can stay raw because there is enough good raw food available and people who know I am raw, and for whatever reason it works out. In other scenarios, either there is nothing or not enough raw available, or I get weak and just end up eating the crap... But I will continue to try and make the best choices I can, and honestly, there have been some cooked meals, or partially cooked meals that I haven't even regretted.. I have had a couple seafood meals that were outstanding on the tongue at least and didnt really bog me down too bad...

It has been about 5.5 months now, and I am still mostly raw with the exception of these cooked/sad meals here and there, and ultimately I am happy to be as raw as i can be. I am glad that I at least so far have had enough will power to not let the cooked food creap back into my daily habits. I guess it's not really will power as much as the enjoyment of the raw benefits and the disadvantages of sad food that motivates me.

dreamrawalwz
07-20-2006, 02:39 PM
"starting in May, social events started happenning more frequently and I found myself having to test my preplanned theory, which has been to eat some cooked food in social circumstances in order to avoid the raw spotlight that happens when trying to stay raw, and for convenience sake."

First of all...good for the 5.5 months and still striving to stay raw. Second, do raw for YOU. Don't try to please anyone or feel you "have" to eat cooked to prevent a spotlight. Hey, if they see you eat raw and ask about it maybe you'll plant the seed. Do you really think it's convenience? Really think about that...at that moment it may be easier asking "can i hae a pizza" instead of asking if they could make a raw salad for you or some fruit, but it's not convenient to your body!! Think of how you'll feel after you eat it. As I said in the beginning, do what feels best for you and only you. Don't worry about waht anyone else says.

Linda1970
07-20-2006, 03:22 PM
Hi TP,

I completely relate to you and could have written exactly what you have written, from beginning to end.

DavidZaneMason
07-20-2006, 03:25 PM
Congratulations!

-Remember that you are not doing anyone any favors by joining in on what YOU think are unhealthy behaviors. It may work for them......great! But you have to be honest about what works for YOU.

Suggestion:

-Bring a light snack to the restaurant. Tell the waiter / waitress you are on a special diet.......then proceed to eat whatever you brought. I often do this.

-Other times, I just have a glass a water.....and say that I'm not hungry (and I'm certainly NOT hungry for what THEY'RE serving! Ha! Ha!).

-Some believe that the love with which food is harvested, prepared and served to us (or lack thereof) plays a big part in how it affects our bodies. As such, it is my personal experience / opinion that I do not choose to leave that to anyone I don't think loves the crap out of me! LOL.

-David Mason

TP
07-20-2006, 04:04 PM
do what feels best for you and only you. Don't worry about waht anyone else says.
I guess it's not so much about what people say or may say. I just don't like it being a focus at all and will go to any length i feel necessary to avoid it being a focus. I realize that this is to my own detriment, and that I ideally shouldn't do this, but it's where I am at and have had to draw the line based on my experience. I am not a raw food evangelist. If someone brings it up and is open and/or interested, then I am happy to talk about it, but I don't like food being the reason why otherwise normal conversations turn awkward. Put simply, I prefer that food be on the same no no list as Politics and Religion, unless I know I am in like minded company, or in the rare case that I just feel like talking/debating about it. There have been times when I have felt comfortable staying raw and telling people about it and putting up with the responses and the focus. It's mainly work environments and new people where I avoid it and will just eat cooked.

Your perspective/position is respectable, and it works for me at times, but sometimes, even if I stick to my guns and stay raw, and then ignore the attempts of others to probe me for information, it then at least still becomes a dividing line, that was otherwise not there and which I then can't stand. When I am at social work functions as I mentioned, this is just not something I am willing to endure. In some work functions, I have been able to stay raw and get through under the radar. in others I have found that I haven't been able to...


Suggestion:
-Bring a light snack to the restaurant. Tell the waiter / waitress you are on a special diet.......then proceed to eat whatever you brought. I often do this.

-Other times, I just have a glass a water.....and say that I'm not hungry (and I'm certainly NOT hungry for what THEY'RE serving! Ha! Ha!).

Good suggestions, and I need to work on being more proactive about doing this. Many times I just don't think things through in advance and find myself stuck.

Thanks!

swingbolder
07-20-2006, 04:11 PM
ITA with everything you posted. Social gatherings are hard for me too, and I feel very ambivalent about both choices (eating cooked or staying raw). It is a basic human thing to want to break bread with people, and when you can't/don't eat what everyone else is eating it feels very isolating.

OTOH, when you eat cooked food, even food made with love, it feels good going down but there is that nagging little feeling you have as you swallow and chew that "this is not good for me." There is the anxiety that you may get sick. Then, inevitably you DO get sick, a sniffle, constipation, indigestion, a headache, a blah feeling. . . you get knocked off your raw groove.

I have not made peace with it either.

I am sure though, that I will come to some resolution with all this, maybe years from now though.

miniaturelion
07-20-2006, 04:36 PM
tp -

i can completely relate. everything about my life is social.
when i join in & eat what everyone else is eating - i always have
a great time & i never feel good (unless it fits in to get a salad - but, most of my "social" meals are ethnic... indian, middle eastern or asian).
i have been thru it all - trying to order something raw, not eating,
bringing my own food, eating the "healthiest" choice on the menu,
eating the "worst" thing on the menu.

i plan on being raw for the rest of my life - man, does it feel good!

i finally came to the conclusion that if i am going to be raw for the
rest of my life - then i am going to have to give myself time to
"learn" how to live this way....
i figure that i'll finally just get good (comfortable) at being raw all
the time... after a while it will just come naturally... i won't even think
of it.

till then i have just been taking it one day & situation at a time.
most of the time it works out that i can get a salad & the night is
off without a glitch....
other times i have to stop & think... & make a decision -
how bad do i want to feel?

after i felt the effects of eating raw - i got kind of mad... like
"god, why can't i be "normal" (lol - like everyone else), now that i know how good i can feel i never want to go back"!

but, i realized i am not "normal" - i care about things way to much...
i have definite opinions about everything... thats how i found raw food in the first place.

i've been working with these issues over the past 2 years -
i have learned that it gets better the longer you do it... the more
you stubble & get back up again... you figure it out....
and i think in the next 2 years - it's going to come so naturally to me
that raw & being social won't be an issue anymore...
(lol - untill i take that trip accross asia.... but, i'll cross that bridge when
i get to it).

we can't escape the world we live in... we can't ignore the fact that
most people eat cooked...and if you love your fellow humans it's
something that you have to come to terms with.
and if you love yourself - you'll do the best you can do at the time.
luckly most of the time - it's easy to stay raw.

TP
07-20-2006, 04:59 PM
your posts are very encouraging.. as you both said it, that it's just going to take time to get better at it. I think I had an attitude coming into raw, that it would be really easy for me, and to some degree it has, but this is the area where I am really going to have to work at it over time.. The key for me is to work to improve because I'd say 90% of the time when I eat cooked, my first thought is "that wasn't worth it".. So eventually that should get through my thick skull and cause me to find the ways that work for me to stay raw...