WHAT MAKES SAD-ers & BAD-ers SO NASTY?!

[prettybrowngrl]

ok. I dont know if this is the right place for this post, but I'm really really mad right now. As many know, Im new to raw and have only recently started on my journey to high raw. I do not advertise my rawness as I never expected a good response from others. WELL!!!! i most certainly did not think it would have been so bad! people have been downright nasty to me when they saw me having lunch and realised I was eating a bowl of tomato, sweet pepper and avocado for lunch. some people are so rude! at work people actually came in the lunch room and tried to inconspicuously look into my bowl so they could screw up their faces and go tell their friends God-knows-what about my current way of eating. Though I have been careful to be discreet about my personal and private choices, unfortunately someone caught a glimpse of this website as i was reading posts and exclaimed (loudly, so everyone within a five mile radius would hear) "RAW FOOD TALK?!! YUCK!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? RAW FOOD, THAT IS DISGUSTING! WHAT IS THAT?!?!!" to which i replied, in a monotone "nothing of any importance to you", when i really wanted to say something much more insulting, as I felt insulted by what had been said about this way of life.
I became so upset I wanted to really give her a piece of my mind, but I had to remember this was my workplace and it was unbecoming of someone following this lifestyle (at least I think so) to become so enraged and fly off my handle like I wanted to, simply because I felt raw veganism was insulted.
I thought about flipping it and educating her about raw and my choices, but I know I would only be further insulted and ridiculed for my choice and none of the people she told (believe me, she is one to tell others just to make fun) would care about raw.
I feel isolated here, in a country where people love meat, dairy flour, rice and all sorts of unhealthy junk food and are too narrow minded to think anyone else's choices are good. Even family members are not supportive (hubby tries, as he knows its for my health, but he is stuck in his meat-eatingways, and tries to get me to eat what he eats sometimes). and then, people come out of the wookwork, to tell me what I should and shouldnt eat. just because I'm overwheight, they think they are the authority on foods, and their advice is often stupid, like "you cant eat rabbit food all the time! You need your milk and meat! You need your protein!" I cant stand the constant drilling in my head of "eat this! eat that!"
I try not to be rude, as a lot of the time it is my own parents who are demanding I "stop this nonsense right now!" This gets me so mad! I am not a child! I choose to be healthy and i WILL be healthy on raw! I know raw is right, but it can get to be a lot of pressure when literally every person who says good morning to me decides that every time they see me they will tell me what I should and shouldnt eat. Especially when I dont ask their advice! I dont badger them when they are gorging every day on their KFC and popeyes and meat pizza. Why cant they leave me alone?

People see me overweight and assume I am fat because I'm a lazy glutton, when I'm not. Before raw I wasnt over-eating and I would be at the gym , but never lose weight and then drop out. But it's utterly tiresome to have to defend myself to every single person and go into details about my personal health problems, esp. when they will never understand that people can gain weight for reasons other than lazyness and over-eating. Personally, I dont mind the lack of support from people here, as I have you guys. I just resent the daily badgering from these narrow-minded know-it-alls, when it is their food that has been making me more and more ill.

Sorry folks. really needed to vent. Im so frustrated! any words of comfort will be appreciated. also has anyone had similar treatment friom those around them? or is it me?

[Graciebeliever]

HOLY COW YOU POOR DEAR :(

((((HUGS))))

I hardly know what to say, what a barrage for you to have to face. BUT
Anything you do in life that you feel matters and is important to you, you must be willing to take flack and endure and Live your convictions!

All I can say is STAY THE PATH. You know in your heart its right so don't let people's sour opinion (of things they are TOTALLY ignorant of) even bother you. When you sit and eat your lunchtime veggies, sit and look at them and enjoy every mouthful! You know what you eat now is giving you LIFE not a slow miserable death of SAD eating.

I suggest that you feel pitty for the people that are on you about your eating. They are the ones that we should feel bad for because they have not arrived (and most likely won't) in knowing how awesome you can feel eating RAW and fresh. If you turn your defensive thinking of what you are doing to one of Gratitude for what YOU have found that will help I am sure. YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO KNOW THE TRUTH!

You aren't going to make them change hun the ONLY one you can change is yourself and you can only hope and pray for the one's you love to see and understand.

We are all here for you! Just a click away.
Be good to yourself!
Stay the Course
Read Read Read
Eat your Way :D

[Im2Fruity]

What a person chooses to nourish their body with is no one else's business or concern...often people judge others when they are reminded of their own personal downfalls...

All I can say to those who actually confront you about being RAW is keep up what you're doing...and forgive them because this is just where they are in life right now. We can't expect everyone to understand.. :)

[Lay-Lay]

You just keep doing raw. Try not to worry so much about others and don't always assume they are thinking something mean and rude about you, besides, when they see the positive changes in you, they will be aww struck by all your accomplishments.

[prettybrowngrl]

You just keep doing raw. Try not to worry so much about others and don't always assume they are thinking something mean and rude about you, besides, when they see the positive changes in you, they will be aww struck by all your accomplishments.
Lay-Lay,
I do try not to worry about others but I've been dealing with this for years- from the same people. What's there to assume when people say it to me "you need to actually try to lose weight! Put down the KFC and get on the treadmill!". I actually heard these things from folks who dont know a thing about what I eat, why Im overweight and how hard I try. I know some people mean well, but its very hurtful all the same.
But I will do as all you guys have been saying and I will stick to raw no matter what. and then when I'm all healthy and lookin healthy and feeling healthy, i'd like to see 'em try bringing me down. Then I'll be able to show what raw does for people and what SAD & BAD do to people!

[Coriander74]

Yikes :eek: what people will say!!!

You know what girl, you just keep right on "raw-ing" and let THEM see how you are shrinking and how your skin glows and how energetic you are, and how calmness and serenity have pervaded your inner soul :D
Let THEM try to attain the very same thing eating grease and ... ick, I can't even think of KFC even though I used to love it as a kid. Let THEM be put on cholesterol medications and go through ER visits because of chest pain.

You are RAWKING on and they'll shut their mouths when they see how you shine!!!!!

[Lay-Lay]

Believe it or not I know how you feel. I come from a very obese family. I have had them say similiar things to me in the past and even worse to my mother right in front of me. I have been at the mall and people laughing and pointing at us and mooing at us. I really do understand that it hurts. But I also know how wonderful raw is. My mother, (she didn't do raw, major surgery), has lost he weight now. Life is so different for her now. Her self-esteem is boosted and she feels so much better, although it is not a cure all. I sure wish she would do raw. I think she would so benefit. I wish you all the best and keep on your journey.

If your up to it why don't you challenge those people to a weight loss challenge or challenge them to try raw for 1 month with you. Then they will see how hard you are working, not that you need to prove anything to them.

[NaturalWoman]

prettybrowngrl

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this difficult situation. I hope that you will stay strong, stay focused, and continue to do what you feel is right for your body.

Try not to take it personally. When people make hurtful comments it is really about them {their pain, their failures, their stress, their fear} it is not about you.

And if you have been in the habit of discussing your weight issues with your co-workers at all, you should reconsider that habit. Even if you inadvertently opened a door so that they feel like they can make these comments to you, then you can take back your power and politely shut that door.

Congradulations On Taking Control of your health
I Wish You Sooo Much Success on your journey.

[luvnraw]

Believe me I am given grief over every meal and get together not only from my husband who tries to guilt me into eating what he eats like I did previously but also my family and the rabbit food comments or that I am too thin because I eat nothing (believe me I eat major portions and enough calories, just not what they eat).....I can tell you I feel better when I eat raw, mentally more then physically at this point but my health is very poor.

I have given in the the begging, pleading, guilting recently and began eating SAD over vacation (also because I am an emotional eater and had been dealing with major stress since the end of May) and I can tell you I regret it in a major way!

Just one meal turned into a couple weeks of eating the addicting food. I thought that my energy level was low on raw compared to what others have but after eating SAD I can say that I was even MORE tired after that.....I woke up feeling horrible, could hardly get out of bed, was congested, itchy, etc and yet all I could think about was FOOD and continued day after day. Each day feeling worse yet not being able to stop myself. I would start back to 100% raw for a couple days but the cravings were intense and I would give in and go back to SAD.....

Currently I am water fasting (yes much to hubby's disapproval) to get myself back on track. I know after water fasting for awhile the weight I did put on from the SAD will leave and my taste and cravings for a yummy sweet piece of fruit or a yummy crisp salad with dill will be back in full force too!

It is hard dealing with co-workers and friends but family can be the worst. I am glad your husband is trying to be supportive. Mine is for awhile as I do this in hopes to improve very poor health but then he gets frustrated and I seem to only be able to take it if I myself am not stressed out. So don't give in to them no matter how bad, sad or mad they make you! You will greatly regret it, I know I do! :rolleyes:

I hope that raw helps you to feel better physically! I am sure it will, just give it time!:D

[Apasaraw]

You are not alone Prettybrowngrl...we are all here for you on your journey and we are taking it along with you. We are not all on the same path but we can certainly hold hands across paths along the way! :)

If this is happening at work..I have to ask if you have an HR rep or a manager to talk to. A hostile work environment for any reason is just wrong. Bullys stink. I just went through this and it was hard, but consider it if it gets too bad ok?

In the meantime, mucho respect to you for sticking to fresh foods that honor your pretty brown grl bod!

[dreamrawalwz]

You are not alone Prettybrowngrl...we are all here for you on your journey and we are taking it along with you. We are not all on the same path but we can certainly hold hands across paths along the way! :)

If this is happening at work..I have to ask if you have an HR rep or a manager to talk to. A hostile work environment for any reason is just wrong. Bullys stink. I just went through this and it was hard, but consider it if it gets too bad ok?

In the meantime, mucho respect to you for sticking to fresh foods that honor your pretty brown grl bod!

You would think bullies at your age (not saying you're old! Just older than high school!) don't exist or at least would have grown up by now!

[prettybrowngrl]

And if you have been in the habit of discussing your weight issues with your co-workers at all, you should reconsider that habit. Even if you inadvertently opened a door so that they feel like they can make these comments to you, then you can take back your power and politely shut that door.


When I first began gaining weight uncontrollably people would inquire (whether out of sincere concern or not) what was wrong. At that time I had recently learnt about the PCOS, hormone imbalances, insulin resistance ect. I began reading up on health and well-being as a result. I learnt that the bags of pills I had been given at public health to treat asthma (from age 11) were steroids and figured they were now catching up to me in addition to the PCOS. I had also been eating what can be compared to BAD with plenty non-vegan indian dishes. Not, good, not good,not good! So I figured out what bad choices played significant factors in my weight gain, but in an attampt to be as private as possible, I shrugged off people's questioning and let them think what they wanted.
As time progressed, the weight kept jumping on me (I hadn't discovered raw yet) and they continued asking. Not an hour would go by without someone at work inquiring about my weight. Of course I'd told my family, and all but my hubby were unkind and inconsiderate with the things they said. When I continued getting very sick all the time, naturally,folks esp. at management levels wanted to know what was the matter. So I told them. Well you can guess how it spead from there! Eventually I had everybody in my business all the time. Even people with whom I had no real personal relationship decided it was their place to get into my personal business. Friends of my parents meeting me at the mall or grocery, neighbours meeting me on the street who find it necessary to shout "you are too fat! It doesnt look good! Lose some weight! Lose some weight!" and every time, it feels like the last straw and I want so say something back, but I dont want to offend my parents or whoever else.
Now I'm not one to offend others intentionally, so I tried to be as polite about it, smiling, all the while hoping the incessant flood of "advice" and comments would end. So I guess I did open the door and left it open, but to take back my power and close it politely? Is there such a thing? Can it be done? How?
I know by asking this, I must seem pretty weak. Believe me, I feel it. This kind of treatment from others has only done damage to me emotionally and messed up my self esteem tremendously. :(

[Revvell]

A few suggestions here: 1) use their words as fuel for staying raw and becoming even better than you are. 2) stand in the beauty that you are ~ a divine goddess. At one time, the overly-thin emaciated children who are admired today would have been laughed at. Think Botticelli. 3) Laugh. Find the joke in how they are. As they ridicule you remember, they are people who hurt too yet, are looking to make themselves feel better at your expense. Don't buy into it. Picture them nekkid and laugh. They don't need to know why you are laughing. What tends to happen is, they do something ~ your respond ~ the cycle goes on. Change the response, the cycle/pattern will be broken.

Most of all, play with your food. :)

Revvell

[Mosaicsbymichelle]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I know how hard it can be because I have witnessed it myself. I have friends and neighbors who think I have lost my mind and say the strangest things, although nothing as cruel as you have posted today.

One of the things I have personally noticed is that the more confident and assured I am about what I am doing the less people badger me about it (or maybe the less I care ;) ). I think it has a lot to do with the energy you project. When I was pregnant with my first 2 boys I was young and thin and felt good about myself. People were so helpful and polite to me as I went about my day. With my 3, 4, and 5th pregnancies I was over weight, not feeling good about myself and not caring. I tell you people would practically push me over to get in front of me. No one would hold the door for me. It was so strange. I made sure to ask my family to watch for it and they noticed it too so it wasn't just me making it up. As I look back on it I realize that I was projecting the energy of someone who didn't matter and guess what, that is how they treated me. Recently I have been working on how I present myself. I try to hold my head up and keep my posture good. I make an effort to make eye contact with people and smile at them. Sometimes I have to totally fake that confidence but I have noticed that the more I fake it the less I need to.

Another thing I like to do is to think things out ahead and know what I will say so that when the time comes I won't be dumbfounded and stand there with nothing to say. We all get the same dumb comments and I prepare an intellegent answer and say it with confidence while I look them in the eye and smile. I make sure to throw something in about the research I have done that proves my point and because they have no idea what they are talking about they usually either shut up or take a complete change and start asking me questions about it. It is great. Take for example the issue of protein..."You can't possibly get enough protein eating just fruits and vegetables!" A good response could be something like "I know, I thought that too until I researched it and found out that the amount of protein in fruits and veggies is exactly what our bodies are meant to use. I even tracked my food for a few days when I started and I fit in perfectly with the what the dietary suggestions are. I was shocked." Of course this is a long, rather drawn out answer, but you get the idea.

Hang in there and keep coming here for support! I wish you a wonderful evening!

[jaurequi]

How about just smiling and nodding? Don't defend your food choices. Do not engage toxic people. They want you to respond and defend yourself; when you do, you just give them something to respond to and elaborate. Shut them down.

Please realize the negativity generated by these people should not be fed. It reflects solely on them and has absolutely nothing to do with you, your diet, food, or anything else that it appears. It is much deeper than that with folks like this; they have the "issues" the problems and this is their way of purging their pain. Ignore it and move on to health :)


Best,

[lissomllama]

Hey prettybrown, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. You already know that it isn't your fault and unfortunately, in this country food is a huge preoccupation. Everyone feels the need to make it their business. Just keep doing what you're doing and though you don't need to chew anyone out, don't be afraid to stand your ground and firmly tell them to butt out. No one has any right to make you feel inferior, especially for doing something so noble. You do realize that by following a raw vegan diet you're not only helping yourself but the environment and the Earth as well. Take a look at how much of our natural resources it takes to produce just one pound of filthy, inorganic meat. You're doing a wonderful thing and with time you'll lose that weight and be glowing and healthy and everyone will eat their words. Just hang in there and go full on, 100%. Tell everyone else to respect you and leave you alone about your food and if they don't, I'd say you're within your rights to give them just as much crap about their food choices.

[JinxieKat]

You would think bullies at your age (not saying you're old! Just older than high school!) don't exist or at least would have grown up by now!


As much as I hate to say it some of the worst bullies I have met have been 50+. Now is it common, no, but some folks just cannot let go of the highschool mentality.

But.. I've delt with the same thing.. It got really hard around work for a while. I was going to a training class and bringing my lunch with me. I was enjoying my raw lunches but getting sick of the teaseing I was getting from the others at my table as they ate their fast food and gripped about their poor health. Well duh!

I just delt with it by ignoreing them for the most part and it went away. I've got grudgeing respect from some of them now since I've been persistant. So it does work out in the long run..just keep on keeping on!

Jinx

[Gosia]

May I add a different angle, please?

"RAW FOOD TALK?!! YUCK!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? RAW FOOD, THAT IS DISGUSTING! WHAT IS THAT?!?!!"

Ha ha ha ha! Lol lol lol! Eeeee eee eee! Ha ha ha ha!

????

Well, this is my natural reaction to this statement. I can't resist laughing or at least smiling when someone says something like this. : ))))

Gosia

[Draginvry]

Generally when faced with a bully, I will either laugh at their ignorance, use their challenge as en excuse to further my own gains, or use their own ignorance to show everyone else that they are stupid. It really depends on my mood.

For example, I've had people tell me that I can't do things that I claim to do, or they don't believe me on a certain topic. If they are open to debate, I will usually engage them on the spot. Otherwise I'll set up a meeting at some other time for a display that will completely blow their mind. If there's anything that will impress a bully, it's physical prowess. And that's something I'm very good at. I sprint regularly, in addition to parkour.

Another thing to remember is that a bully is just that: a bully. Unless you enjoy making fools of them, they are generally not worth your time to even think about.

It may seem that with going raw, bullies are popping up out of nowhere. But realize that it's not so much that they are popping up out of nowhere, as that they were already there and now have a good opportunity for bullying. This is because of something that the gaming community calls the John Gabriel's Greater Internet F***wad Theory. The theory is thus.

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total F***wad

The people probably haven't changed. The audience is probably the same. The difference is that little factor of anonymity. With being an omnivore, each person is in a large group of other omnivores. This grants them a sense of anonymity. Thus, it seems that normal people suddenly turn into total f***wads. This is the same reason that a normally sensible person will say things to an obese person that they would never tell their mothers.

The theory generally holds, because the average person isn't very emotionally intelligent. Immature people belittle everyone else as a method to make themselves look superior, even though they often aren't.

I suggest looking into attention-seeking behavior (http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/attent.htm), why people engage in it, and how to counter it:

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/attent.htm

Keep in mind that 99% of bullies are out to get attention, be it attention from an audience, or the attention you give them by responding to them. Thus, if you ignore them, they usually go away. Bullies rarely harass brick walls.

[NaturalWoman]

Now I'm not one to offend others intentionally, so I tried to be as polite about it, smiling, all the while hoping the incessant flood of "advice" and comments would end. So I guess I did open the door and left it open, but to take back my power and close it politely? Is there such a thing? Can it be done? How?
I know by asking this, I must seem pretty weak. Believe me, I feel it. This kind of treatment from others has only done damage to me emotionally and messed up my self esteem tremendously. :(

Of course you don't seem weak to me. It takes a very strong person to decide to buck convention and chart her own path and take responsibility for her own health and well being. Don't say that you are weak and don't even think it. It may sound like new age nonsence to you but I truly believe that if you think about yourself that way then that is the way people will treat you. Yes you can take your power back. Maybe you could start by deciding to stop accepting abuse from people. Maybe you could start by knowing that all human beings deserve respect ( including you ) and you have the right to speak up keep people from hurting you. Speaking up is scary at first, but it gets easier with practice. Maybe you should speak to human resources at your company. If you only told management about your health challenges and now the whole building knows, then the company breached your confidence in a major way. And if you are now being mistreated by your co-workers as a result of that breach, your company could be in legal trouble. Maybe you should document the harassment and cousult an attorney.





Good Luck To You

[Lay-Lay]

When I first began gaining weight uncontrollably people would inquire (whether out of sincere concern or not) what was wrong. At that time I had recently learnt about the PCOS, hormone imbalances, insulin resistance ect. I began reading up on health and well-being as a result. I learnt that the bags of pills I had been given at public health to treat asthma (from age 11) were steroids and figured they were now catching up to me in addition to the PCOS. I had also been eating what can be compared to BAD with plenty non-vegan indian dishes. Not, good, not good,not good! So I figured out what bad choices played significant factors in my weight gain, but in an attampt to be as private as possible, I shrugged off people's questioning and let them think what they wanted.
As time progressed, the weight kept jumping on me (I hadn't discovered raw yet) and they continued asking. Not an hour would go by without someone at work inquiring about my weight. Of course I'd told my family, and all but my hubby were unkind and inconsiderate with the things they said. When I continued getting very sick all the time, naturally,folks esp. at management levels wanted to know what was the matter. So I told them. Well you can guess how it spead from there! Eventually I had everybody in my business all the time. Even people with whom I had no real personal relationship decided it was their place to get into my personal business. Friends of my parents meeting me at the mall or grocery, neighbours meeting me on the street who find it necessary to shout "you are too fat! It doesnt look good! Lose some weight! Lose some weight!" and every time, it feels like the last straw and I want so say something back, but I dont want to offend my parents or whoever else.
Now I'm not one to offend others intentionally, so I tried to be as polite about it, smiling, all the while hoping the incessant flood of "advice" and comments would end. So I guess I did open the door and left it open, but to take back my power and close it politely? Is there such a thing? Can it be done? How?
I know by asking this, I must seem pretty weak. Believe me, I feel it. This kind of treatment from others has only done damage to me emotionally and messed up my self esteem tremendously. :(

I had/have all the conditions you listed in addition I had developed hyperplasia with atypia (over production of estrogen causing severe uncontrolable bleeding and complicated with precancer). Despite my small efforts at raw I was getting worse and gaining more and more. In the 6 months before doing 100% raw I had gained 40 pounds and I was about 70% raw.

When I began to take charge on 4/24/06 and go for 100% I started seeing immediate results.

I sooooo can't stand that you are being treated that way, but you do have the right to stand up for yourself. You are a beautiful person both inside and out and no one should make you feel like anything different.

A great book that has help me to learn to love myself and worked on my emotional healing is "You Can Heal Your Life" By Louise Hayes. I so recommend you getting the book and reading through it.

I also recommend the book "The Key to Family Happiness" which I have copies I can provide for free or a small contribution towards the printing cost. Anyone who would like a copy may send me their address and I will send it out. If you wish to make a contribution you may do so by paypal or mail, but there is no obligation to do so to have the book.

[chilove]

I think a major reason why people react negatively when they hear or notice that we are improving our diets and taking charge of our health is because they feel defensive. They know that they "should" be eating better and taking better care of themselves, and so even when we don't say a word about it, they are confronted with that realization when they see us doing better. The difference between what they know they should be doing and how they are currently treating their body makes them feel conflicted and bad about themselves and so they react by taking it out on us. :-) All of this is not entirely conscious on their part. They may have no idea why us eating healthier rubs them the wrong way. I find it helpful to be very careful to not seem judgemental at all. I would just ask them nicely to please refrain from commenting on your food. People who don't get the reaction they want when they are seeking to upset/bother/tease someone often move on quickly.


Congratulations on the big changes you are making! Stay strong and soon enough people will notice how great you are doing and will ask you about raw! I promise!

Take care,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

[RawTruth]

So I guess I did open the door and left it open, but to take back my power and close it politely? Is there such a thing? Can it be done? How?Here are a few ideas:

<Say these sincerely, calmly, and firmly with a light tone of voice and looking them in the eye! Just say that one sentence, then be silent and walk away ... or go about whatever you were doing.>

Thank you for caring.

I'd rather not talk about this.

Thanks for your concern, but this is my personal choice.

<I'm sure you'll come up with wording that suits your personality if these don't sound right to you. It's the confidence and the way you present yourself as being in charge of your own life that will do the trick, I think. Besides, the more thought, focus, and energy you put into the negative things people are saying, the more it will grow. Emphasize the positive, and IT will grow!!>

This WILL pass!! And, as they see the wonderful changes occur in you, there won't be much left to say! (Except, maybe, what I hear: you're too skinny! And my favorite: You're wasting away; are you dying?)

[juliebove]

I am not familiar with the cuisine where you live so it could be that raw foods are not all that common. I love reading about food and nutrition and was rather shocked to learn that in Puerto Rico, vegetables were very uncommon and green salad was unheard of. I read this a few years ago. Could be things have changed there now. At the time, more and more Puerto Ricans were becoming diabetic and their normal diet was very high in carbs. Mainly beans, rice and a little meat. Health professionals had a tough time convincing people to try eating green salad with their meals because they were so unfamiliar with it.

Here in this country, what we eat does seem to vary by region. I was born in the midwest where people seem to think of it as "meat and potatoes" country. And while this was probably true in the old days, in the winter when fresh produce was not available, this was certainly not true during the growing season. Especially if you grew up in a poor household! More likely, you ate whatever was just picked from the garden and you probably ate it raw because it was cheaper to eat it just like that. Cooking required electricity, gas or some other form of fuel. Perhaps this is one reason why I love my veggies so much. My grandparents had a farm and we had a garden. If I was hungry, all I had to do was go see what was ripe and pick it. My favorite was peas in the pod. I'd eat them pod and all.

We moved to the Pacific Northwest when I was 7. Most people here seem to lead very healthy lifestyles. Our winters are pretty mild compared to some places. So we have a nice long growing season for some things. Here, we ate salads year round. And most restaurants have salads on the menu. I have never ever had anyone make a comment on what I was eating, in terms of what it was. Now I have gone to the salad bar at the store and come away with enough salad for a family of 4. I'll sit down to eat it and people will bug their eyes out at me because it looks like I'm being a glutton. Heh! It's just that everything looks so good, I keep piling it on until I can barely get the lid closed. I usually wind up stopping after eating about half of it and putting it away for another meal.

After I got married, we moved to Cape Cod. I was astounded to learn that I couldn't always get fresh vegetables. During the winter, we sometimes got snowed in and trucks could not get onto the Cape to bring in supplies. It could then take another couple of weeks to get the shelves refilled in the stores. I don't know how I would have fared as a raw foodist during those times. Back then I ate a lot of canned vegetables in the winter when I couldn't get fresh stuff. But I do love fresh raw veggies and I usually managed to get some. We didn't dine out a lot when we lived there because I didn't care too much for the food. They seemed to eat a lot of fish and fried foods. Not all of the restaurants had salads, and if they did, they might not be fresh. I once made the mistake of ordering a "green" salad in a restaurant in the dead of winter. I was shocked at what they brought me. It was so brown and wilted there wasn't anything green about it!

We then moved to the Bay Area in CA. Fresh produce was plentiful there year round. The only time I remember being annoyed was for a period of about 2-3 weeks in the winter when I could never seem to get fresh bell peppers. Every year at this time, they'd be mushy. There, I could get anything and everything I wanted! But it wasn't always cheap. My neighbors loved having me come to dinner or lunch because I'd always bring raw veggie platters.

Next move was to NY. Fresh produce was often hard to come by there too, especially in the winter. I can remember going from little store to little store looking for something, anything fresh! I finally found a bag of carrots. I felt like I had won a prize! The area where we lived was heavily populated by Italians who seemed to like to eat mainly Italian food. The stores around me that did stock produce usually had tomatoes, onions, peppers and maybe an eggplant and some basil. And even then it wasn't always fresh. The closest supermarket was loaded with fruitflies and rotting produce. I began visiting there on a daily basis, attempting to figure out when they put the "good" stuff out. Mostly they never did. Then one day the health dept. came in and made a lot of notes. Things got better there for a while after that. Mainly if I got good produce it was at the military commissary in Brooklyn. We went there every two weeks. Of course a lot of what I bought wouldn't be fresh for that long so I made do in the meantime. I felt sorry for the people who lived there and didn't have access to the commissary!

I do remember one very good restaurant that had a nice salad bar at lunch time. The dinner menu had an assortment of salads on it, and they had different specials daily. I remember once having a delicious green bean, tomato and onion salad there. It wasn't entirely raw because it came in a huge cone made of some sort of pastry. And it may have had some cheese. Can't remember now. Had it only the one time and they never offered it again. I do remember that all of the vegetables were raw. That was the first time I ate a raw green bean.

In the part of NY where we lived, most of the restaurants delivered. My neighbors had food delivered at least 3 times a week, if not more. They'd usually alternate between Italian and Chinese food. There were a few other options but not many. Some of the Chinese places offered a salad, but it was nothing but iceberg lettuce. Most of the Italian places had one or more types of salad on the menu. I would sometimes have salads delivered, but I would sometimes add a few more veggies for variety or some nuts. Our summers were hot there and often, I'd take my salad outside and eat it while I watched the kids play. For the kids, I'd fix platters of raw veggies and fruit. I have two platters that you can place in the freezer and they keep the food cold for hours. Really nice during the summer.

I was also living in military housing in NY so people were frequently moving in and out during the summer. I know how miserable it can be to sit outside all day in the hot sun while the movers are taking your things in and out. For this reason, I always bought extra melons and raw veggies to offer to those who might happen to be stuck outside for the day. They always apprecitated it.

I guess maybe it's just a matter of where you are and what kind of food is common in your area. But in all the places I've live, nobody has ever made a comment about my eating raw food. If anything, they'll just assume I'm on a diet because I eat my salads with no dressing at all. I just can't fathom people making rude comments about what someone else was eating. Perhaps because it has never happened to me.

[lissomllama]

I forgot to mention that people often react loudly and with hostility when they hear of or see someone else improving their health, because in turn, in their subconscious minds, they begin to doubt that what they are doing is right so they become insecure and defensive. It's really a battle in their own heads because they suddenly feel inadequate and jealous that you're able to do this good thing for yourself. And in the case of raw, people act especially hostile because even though deep down, the body and mind know what is the right food to take in, they don't want to hear that their choices are bad and that they have to change and make sacrifices for health and even though you never said anything to them about it, they are the ones over thinking it and feeling guilty. People don't like to feel guilty so they often becom very defensive and lull themselves back to comfort by rallying others of like preferences together to comdemn your practices because there is safety in numbers.

[Eveleaf]

I forgot to mention that people often react loudly and with hostility when they hear of or see someone else improving their health, because in turn, in their subconscious minds, they begin to doubt that what they are doing is right so they become insecure and defensive. It's really a battle in their own heads because they suddenly feel inadequate and jealous that you're able to do this good thing for yourself. And in the case of raw, people act especially hostile because even though deep down, the body and mind know what is the right food to take in, they don't want to hear that their choices are bad and that they have to change and make sacrifices for health and even though you never said anything to them about it, they are the ones over thinking it and feeling guilty. People don't like to feel guilty so they often becom very defensive and lull themselves back to comfort by rallying others of like preferences together to comdemn your practices because there is safety in numbers.

This is absolutely correct! It helps me to keep in mind that it's NOT about ME! In fact, the key to understanding others is to always remember: People think about themselves WAY more than they think about you. Even when they are talking TO or ABOUT you, they are really thinking of themselves. Honestly. Humans (and I'm including myself in this mix) are extraordinarily selfish.

The next time this kind of thing comes up, remember, this is about THEM and not about you. That co-worker who commented on your website? That was about her, not you. Your choices make her feel bad, or insecure, or jealous, about HERSELF. She's not so concerned with you, really.

Or, (and this takes insight to understand) many people who seem the most "argumentative" about the raw lifestyle might actually be the most curious. The arguments mask their curiosity, it protects them. That way they can extract information from you about the lifestyle in a safe way, and you never guess how close they are to actually wanting to be raw themselves.

Treat each person around you as someone you are witnessing to about the power and love and beauty of the raw life. Be patient and loving and encouraging and informative, and you may be amazed at what happens. You are a walking talking advertizement!

Cheers, and keep up the great work!
Eve

[LisaDS88]

The people where I used to work were also very nasty about the way I ate. They think they are being funny, but it's really awful to listen to some of the things they would say. I usually tried to ignore it and/or explain why I eat like that way, but sometimes I would "fight back" with a short but mean response to chase them off. I told someone one time (in a very polite but matter of fact voice) that "You may think I'm weird for eating like this, but you are the one with bad breath, pimples, a disgusting mucus filled nose, and will die of cancer one day." That got a "whatever" response from them, but they never said anything about my food again.

Probably wasn't the best thing, but when I already tried to explain my reasons numerous times, and they continued to make fun of me and act like they never heard what I said, then being mean was a quick fix to get rid of them for good.

[LisaDS88]

The people where I used to work were also very nasty about the way I ate. They think they are being funny, but it's really awful to listen to some of the things they would say. I usually tried to ignore it and/or explain why I eat like that way, but sometimes I would "fight back" with a short but mean response to chase them off. I told someone one time (in a very polite but matter of fact voice) that "You may think I'm weird for eating like this, but you are the one with bad breath, pimples, a disgusting mucus filled nose, and will die of cancer one day." That got a "whatever" response from them, but they never said anything about my food again.

Probably wasn't the best thing, but when I already tried to explain my reasons numerous times, and they continued to make fun of me and act like they never heard what I said, then being mean was a quick fix to get rid of them for good.

[Eveleaf]

If you are happy and secure and at peace with your choices, there is no need to react to other's insecurity with meanness. You are coming from a place of light and they are shrouded in darkness. They need to see patience and love and a shining example of what a natural lifestyle really is.

[stiletto]

It is so easy to mock someone who doesn't follow the path of least resistance. They are taking out their fear and self-loathing on you. They are afraid to see you succeed because it will weaken them. It doesn't matter what these people think of you - only what God thinks of you and what you think of yourself.

I used to wonder what was wrong with me and why people laughed at me or talked behind my back. And this was just being a vegetarian - before I was a vegan and now, Raw. If I indulged in a cookie they'd say "Oh, my God - she's actually eating a cookie!" They made fun of my weight (very healthy at 5'2" and 102). When I saw that it was coming from the most overweight, insecure woman there, I realized that, no, it wasn't me. She was jealous and I prayed for her. The uncomfortable situation would go away and I would feel better for eating what made me feel healthy.

Pray for these people to find peace and understanding in their lives. When they try to hurt you - pray for your enemies. Pray that God will touch them and give them compassion. They really need it. The Lord will lift your burden from you and you will feel better about yourself.

Stay the course - it will be soooo worth it!
Peace,
Stiletto (Doreen)

[stiletto]

I know SAD, of course. But what is BAD?
tks..

[Sharon in Colorado]

I have to say just reading the line that this person said to you, it says something about this PERSON, and not people in general. It sounds like you were dealing with a completely self-centered person and not a normal person, so please don't take what she said to you personally.

I will bet you anything that others have had problems with her. This is the type of person who feels the need to call attention to herself by using other people's different-ness and 'announcing' it to others in such a way as to make you look strange, thus making her look better.

I've had this happen at a baby shower, where I was in a one-on-one conversation with a girl, and once I had mentioned that I had a home birth, she immediately and loudly raised her voice so that all the other women in the circle would notice her and began to question how ludicrous my home birth was, and who in their right mind would do that and not take drugs by choice. She acted like I was the crazy one. I was so angry, but I just sat there, saying very little because for some reason I felt embarassed, not by my choice but that she made me the center of her stage.

So, please don't lose faith in all people, everyone is different and for every rude ignoramous who choses to ridicule you and put your choices down, there will be 10 others who will respect and honor your choice, whether or not they agree with what you are doing.

[rawpriestess]

I am so sorry that you are in this situation,


but my question to you is:

for what purpose are you continuing to be with these people?

you can get another job, and other friends, and you can simply NOT visit with family that is cruel to you,

whether it be about your food choices or lifestyle, or weight, or anything, you will be treated in a manner that you allow people to treat you.

so, I'd simply not tollerate this type of abusive behavior, and walk out the door, I've done this more than once, and never looked back, yes, people don't know how to handle it, they get embarassed, they talk about you, but who cares? not me. I simply leave. and don't ever go there again.

it works.

they'd never see me again.

there is never any reason to accept abuse, unless you feel you deserve it.

[English Tracy]

Bullies only succeed if the object of the bullying reacts. If they get no reaction, they give up. I was bullied when I was younger (at school) so I sympathise with you. Although it is hard to ignore hurtful comments, just do it!!

BTW, it does make sense to avoid being where such people hang out but obviously if they are family, that's tough.

Good Luck!

Tracy

[Apasaraw]

You would think bullies at your age (not saying you're old! Just older than high school!) don't exist or at least would have grown up by now!

I WISH! :) Unfortunately they are everywhere and behave one way around others and mean when they get you alone. Luckily many of us who had experienced this bullying alone banded together to get it quelched.

The adult bullies must be emotionally stunted!

Hang in there PrettyBrownGrl! I am with RawPriestess in that if the universe is making the place uncomfortable for you, maybe you don't belong there any longer...you have outgrown the place and the people...I too have walked away from jobs and also family and it was the best thing I ever did though it was hard at the time.

[Stephen]

Excuse my ignorance, being a newbie, but whats SAD and BAD????

[honeybee joy]

Can you get another job?

That sounds like a stressful situation, and completely abusive. It is ok that they disagree with how you eat, but their response is just plain rude and abusive. It really is not their buisiness what you eat, and I did not hear you ask them for what their opinion was. I would find another job, with people who respect that not everyone eats the way that they do, and that everyone is unique and special. Stress plays a big part of our health. You can eat 100% raw and still feel bad if you are in a stressful situation, or around negative thoughts. If you can't quit, consider going to a higher up and talking to them about it, and see if they can't talk to these people and let them know that they are being disrespectful and that it doesn't belong in the workplace.

I am really sorry that you had to go thru with that. Your lunch sure sounds good to me!

[prettybrowngrl]

I know SAD, of course. But what is BAD?
tks..
BAD= Black(Afro) American Diet eg. fried chicken, mac & cheese, ect.

The vast majority of Trinidadians eat a lot of fast foods along with a variety of ethnic dishes based on flour or rice, ground provision and meat ect.

Stephen,
SAD = Standard American Diet.

[prettybrowngrl]

Many thanks to each and every person who replied to my post. I am grateful from the bottom of my heart- not just from the bottom, with the whole thing! :) Thank you for the advice and for the words of kindness and encouragement. It means alot.

~Carla.~