raw food addict?

[Lunar*Fey]

Ok so I've read of how so many are actually addicted to cooked food... but I am not addicted to cooked food and processed crap at all...most of it completely turns me off. But RAW food? It seems I am addicted to it. If I was forced to eat donuts, like literally FORCED to eat them...I would take a few nibbles and not be able to eat any more...but if I was forced to eat raw fruits and greens and such and had plentiful amounts of all different kinds all around me I would surely over-eat at first. But now that I think about it after a while I would realize...omg I actually HAVE all this...I don't need to shove it all down my throat in fear that i will never be able to have it.
But any way, the way I live now...its like I am a raw food addict...just cant stop eating the oranges or whatever. I'm just a little fearful because of all this hype about whats good and bad for you (raw-wise) and the fact that I seem to be developing awful awful habits and emotions towards eating. Its really scaring me and I don't don't what to do.

[sport]

You are a very lucky girl. Enjoy your good fortune.

[Lunar*Fey]

lol I suppose I should think like that...its just it seems as if any food addiction would not be positive?

[Linda1970]

Hi LF,

I'm almost like you. My biggest goal is to eat when I'm 70% full. I've always felt my best (SAD food or raw food) when I eat 70% full.

[dreamrawalwz]

I'm like that. I think it has to do with the starvation we put our bodies through. It's doing it's best to incorporate those calories lost. It's trying to mend and heal itself from what we put it through. I think eventually we will even out and I'm starting to get that way now. Is your "addiction" not really a lot of food, but a lot in comparision to while you had your ED? Remember volume wise you'll need much larger portions than your cooked counterparts to get the calories you need.

[Lunar*Fey]

True Tracey, I hope you are right. Any way, I eat like 2000 to 3000 calories a day lol. Sometimes I get SO horribly full at like 1800 and just can't eat anymore for the day but that is rare. I eat this much because I was told to, and now its like I am constantly eating because I feel like I am supposed to, I have to, and I will be horrible and let everyone down if I don't....I know that if I were on my own right now I would be fine...but since I am not...I am afraid that I will develop bad habits now and they will come through when I am older

[ellenalesa]

I went to a BBQ and tried some cooked food. I actually wound up throwing it out. I felt compelled to keep trying it tho. I would take a bite of one thing, and then toss it. It ws hard for me to understand because I used to take my comfort in food. I've only been high raw for about 2 or 3 weeks now, but I find that I am preferring raw food! Now I just have to realize that in my head.

Ellen

[rawnpawgirl]

LF,

If you don't mind me asking, why do you HAVE to eat a certain amount of calories/day. Where is all this pressure coming from? Parents, doctor, therapist, all of the above?

I feel so sad for you that you are so young, but obviously so incredibly mature and intelligent and are feeling like this- the pressure to please everyone and live by others' expectations of you.

They can't shove food down your throat, so what would happen if you just ate when YOU wanted?

I have never been through what you are going through in re. to the whole eating disorder recovery, but I do know what it feels like to have many expectations on me and it feels like *@#*!!!

I want you to know that my positive thoughts and prayers are being sent to you right now! You have our support here and I know you will get through this totally victorious. The mind is a very powerful thing and it is very difficult to separate all those voices-- others', your mind, and your own spirit and intuition.

Try to take the time to get quiet within yourself and just breath. Get in touch with your heart, your gut. Start to try to listen when you are just alone, calm, breathing. You will learn to trust YOUR intuitive self, which is Never ,ever wrong. For so long, you have had so many voices, so many opinions thrown at you.

You may be young, but you are a very WISE person. Trust yourself.

Your mom may not agree with all you choose, but she will not stop loving you.


I didn't mean to go on and on, but this was on my heart. Good night.

[Lunar*Fey]

Ellen, thats so great you prefer raw now :)

Rawnpawgirl,
wow thank you for your response :). I have to because, 1 my doctor and old nutritionist said I had to...and if I don't well then I might lose weight...and if I lose weight it is off to some inpatient place for me and bye bye to eating RAW for the next three years (until I am on my own). It's strange though, lately (summer) I haven't been as hungry at all and have to force myself to even eat 1800-2000 calories many days and feel full...when I first went raw I was eating like 3000 (because of outside pressure but I felt just as full as I am now on this many) and I haven't lost weight for a few weeks, I have maintained but my doctor says she wants me to gain six by the end of the summer. that's a LOT in only the rest of july and august! But I think maybe I should try and work hard and gain as much muscle as I can. I am so grateful for your positive thoughts and prayers, thank you so much. :)
Thank you so much for your insight, and I believe I should practice meditating again.