View Full Version : Sometimes you just gotta know when to give up!
07-07-2006, 08:50 AM
I have a male friend. He has high cholesterol, allergies, a big belly and man boobs.. He is not really that fat though. He weighs himself on my scale- which also gives a body fat% measurement too. Every week he weighs himself and complains that nothing is really changing. I asked him - what is he doing differently from week to week that would make it change? He said "nothing"... I told him that - that is the definition of insanity-- (doing the same thing but expecting different results)... He sees me eating raw foods and has picked up a couple of my books and glanced through them...
I asked him to be my guinea pig for 2 weeks. Let me make all of his meals and see if we see a difference in his weight then and also his cholesterol.
(I said 2 weeks 'cause I KNOW he would never agree to a month).
He told me he does not think he could eat that "living stuff" - I told him that he eats "living stuff" all the time - he likes fruits... He asked - What will I eat... I told him we could go through some of the recipes and find things he liked- like lasagna, sausage, eggplant bacon... well, his answer was -
"Why would I want to eat that fake stuff when I could eat the real thing"Geeezzzz -- I gave up at that point! :confused: :eek:
07-07-2006, 08:54 AM
This is hilarious!! I read it to my husband and we laughed so hard!! :D
07-07-2006, 08:57 AM
If there is one thing that I've learned, it's you can't change anyone else, only yourself. I think it's great that you want to help your friend and I think he should take you up on your generous offer of making his meals for two weeks!! I would :) But obviously he is not ready now. The best thing you can do is to be there for him when he is. I love the part about why whould he eat raw ("fake") food when he can eat the "real" thing. Too funny!
Sharon in Colorado
07-07-2006, 09:07 AM
I think you planted a seed Mookie. He knows in the back of his head and in that big heart behind the man boobs that this will really work, but he's just afraid to take that giant step.
If anything, he knows the offer is out there and every so often, maybe you can just prompt him a little, "are you ready?" or "let me know when you are ready, cause I'll be happy to help" and then give him some more time.
Eventually he'll get to the point where he'll approach you, and it will probably be when YOU aren't expecting it or maybe it's not the best time for you to do all those recipes. That is usually how it works.
07-07-2006, 09:11 AM
I think you planted a seed Mookie. He knows in the back of his head and in that big heart behind the man boobs
I am ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D :D
07-07-2006, 09:50 AM
I have the same conversation with my chronically ill dh everyday. :(
I just need to accept the fact that not everybody is ready to take responsibility for their own health.
07-07-2006, 10:23 AM
I have a close friend who has ulcerative colitis. She is in remission now but her 13 year old daughter is suffering terribly from her UC. I have sent her so many different things about healing it in the natural way and she take the stuff to her MD who pretty much makes fun of it or makes out like it is ridiculous. Meanwhile her daughter gets worse and worse and I sit there watching it. It breaks my heart but I know there is nothing more I can do. I just sent her some more stuff and just wrote in there that I couldn't stop trying. Somewhere deep down I guess I kind of hope her daughter will open up to the idea as she gets older but I don't know if that will happen either. I guess I can only as Sharon said "plant the seed".
I remember when my family was into fasting and health about 10 years ago I thought they were all out of their minds and now I am eating raw and on day 5 of the Master Cleanse. We are all ready when we are ready. I recently talked to a Chiropractor who said one of the hardest things for him to deal with when he started his practice was that some people just don't want to get better and there is nothing he could do to help them. He had to let it go and allow them to take the journey that they needed to take even though in many cases that resulted in the peoples' deaths. That was an awakening for me to really step back and try to stop controlling people around me and focus on myself and hopefully be a good example of what can happen.
07-07-2006, 10:40 AM
My dh has ulcerative colitis too. I hate that I have to watch him go through this and prepare the food that causes it.
07-07-2006, 08:00 PM
I had a husband who would make it difficult for me to be raw. However, you cant preach to someone who doesnt want to change.
My husband isnt a person with many health challenges, therefore eating all the stuff that negatively affects a persons health, he wouldnt stop that.
Until my Mother told him that he had high blood pressure, she knew just from his symptoms. He was overly hot on a cool day... Things like that.
My neighbor had just died the week before of a heart attack. So my husband was more keenly aware of what high blood pressure could do to a person.
So he went to see a Chinese doctor and he is now on the road to recovery, bringing his blood pressure to normal. The Chinese doctor told my husband he could only eat vegetables, fruits and chicken. Nothing else.
I thought that was the funniest thing. I knew I couldnt tell him to change his life.
07-08-2006, 01:32 AM
the hardest thing we can do is to allow others to follow their path, in their own time. especially when WE know how to fix their challenges.
But, I can remember not too long ago, when I first heard of raw and I wasn't quite ready to hear it, so it has taken me a few years, and alot of weight and pain, and I am now ready, so I can embrace it, instead of "trying" it. LOL
so, just know that you ARE helping him by allowing him to see your eating raw, and how healthy and wonderful YOU feel and look.
07-08-2006, 01:46 AM
My husband is a big meat eater. He loves that, ice cream and other junk foods. He'll sometimes eat fruit but then go so totally overboard on it till he gets sick. I mean like 2 dozen oranges eaten as a snack after dinner. He tends to eat huge amounts of food at one time. He seems not to notice the weight creeping on until they say something to him at work. He's in the military. He's not supposed to be overweight. But as soon as they say something to him, he puts me totally in charge of his diet. Suddenly he'll be eating salad and all sorts of things that are good for him. He'll lose weight and comment on how good he feels. But the minute they've weighed him and told him he's fine, he goes back to his old ways.
Oddly when he was stationed on a ship, he was never overweight. They provided not only balanced meals but meals suitable for anyone, including vegans. They had a salad bar and plenty of fresh fruit. Now they did have a soft serve ice cream machine but you had to serve yourself. This is not something he'd be likely to do. They also had candy and other snacks for sale at the ship's store. But you have to go buy that stuff. Again, not something he'd be likely to do. So he ate what he was served and no more. He lost weight.
He'll probably go to his grave still eating this way. Some people never change.
07-08-2006, 07:50 AM
That is funny Mookie but typical lol. My husband is overweight but will eat and not stop himself.......he has diabetes. But I will say this....he does support my choices. Sometimes he is really funny like when I ate potato chips he would give me this look and say....."I'm watching you" And he is. He has reached the point where he looks forward to my green smoothies in the morning. He even tried my raw spagetti (Alyssa's recipe) but he didn't like the sauce. Which is funny because that sauce was heavenly, I couldn't stop eating it. And I've tried to make the sauce again but somehow it never tastes the same.
Anyway, I'm running my mouth here lol. As Sharon said, I think you planted a seed. Keep your raw books around and you never know....when he is ready, he may be willing to try some of your food. Or he may read more & more of your books increasing his knowledge until one day it hits him that he really needs to try this. He is lucky that he has such a good friend who is willing to go out of the way for him and make meals for him.
07-08-2006, 09:04 AM
My husband started complaining about weight creeping up and minor aches and pains. He's seen what I've been doing and I've shared some with him, but he insists that "balance and moderation" is the only way, and pooh-poohs anything radical like raw foods. So he's gone on a diet where he just doesn't eat exept maybe one "normal" meal a day. He doesn't want to give up any of his favorite foods. He's losing the weight and he's never had any serious health issues, so he feels that his way works and won't listen to anything else.
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