View Full Version : dating someone who does eat meat?
07-06-2006, 09:05 AM
Ok. This thread is inspired by another thread by paleogirl called 'gone vegan.' It got me to think about if it would be important for those single on the board to date someone who eats or doesn't eat meat?
I do have certain qualities which are very important to me that the person I'm dating or looking into being committed to must have & must not have. Now, I'm not sure if being w/ a person who eats meat might turn me of?
Does anyone have any experiences w/ this or have thought about the same thing? Any insights would be great!!!! :o
07-06-2006, 10:16 AM
I think you should not rule out a person just because he eats meat. I think habits are so much easier to change than character. Maybe when you get to know him better, you can show him that video.
07-06-2006, 10:40 AM
I wouldn't rule someone out either just because of how they are when you meet. One of my good friends was vegan when she met her husband, and at that time he ate meat, drank, and smoked. Today they are both two very successful and inspiring raw foodists.
I would however be VERY clear about my own beliefs in regard to my diet, and how I would want my children to be raised. No compromises there for me. And I would also let the guy know that I couldn't see myself in a long term relationship with someone with certain habits, not because I have a problem with it, but rather because I want to be with a conscious man who makes conscious choices about his life in every area, including food and beyond.
It's hard to generalize though. I think it's all about the individual and you will know how to proceed, and if he is a person you want in your life, no matter what he eats.
07-06-2006, 11:16 AM
I'm in a long-distance "thing" with a very special person, who does occasionally eat meat. However he's adamant about wanting to change his lifestyle once he moves here, and become vegetarian, and perhaps Raw :D
I told him that whatever he wants to do is fine with me, I chose my lifestyle and he can choose his. Of course that doesn't mean I won't try to sneak in as many raw foods as I can :D
07-06-2006, 11:40 AM
when I first went raw, I truly believed that I MUST Have a RAW boyfriend, so I only would date raw guys, (few and far between LOL) and they were creeps, worse than anyone I had ever dated before, YIKES!!!
so, I sat and I meditated, and I realized that I didn't NEED someone who was RAW, I WANTED someone, who had a lot of qualities, and RAW, was nice, but mostly I wanted a kind, loving man, who was spiritually connected, loved animals, cared for the Earth and the environment, and was supportive of MY choices, and IF this is what I truly wanted, then I KNEW in my heart, that I must be supportive of HIS choices too.
So, I decided to go for those qualities, I dated a couple of guys, didn't work out, then Dragggon and I got together, he is EVERYTHING I have ever wanted in a man, even his tall, young looks, his long thick hair, his dreamy big blue eyes, his full lips, his big hands (wink wink), so I am in heaven, the fact that he eats meat occasionally, (not every day) is a minor thing.
I don't have to buy it, cook it, store it, look at it, or smell it.
HE does all of that, so it's no big deal to me at all. He has HIS kitchen in the garage, his fridge, stove, microwave, etc, and I have my big kitchen in the house, where I make all my stuff. Works for us.
07-06-2006, 11:44 AM
If you narrow your men to "raw men" you will / could rule our some good supportive men and maybe "the one".
07-06-2006, 06:48 PM
Thanks for the insights & personal experiences! It's very helpful & very comforting to read. :D
In a way, I feel like I'm still indecisive about myself -- what I want & what I need is still w/in the gray areas. :o I had once told a few close friends that I wanted someone who doesn't smoke, drink, & doesn't eat meat, etc.... Those were my top 3, & they teased me that I was ruling out every single person. :rolleyes: Oh well. I'm taking a break from dating & trying to figure out what I'd like in a long-term 'the one.' :o
07-06-2006, 08:00 PM
I've never dated, ever. I'd like to know the person for who he is, not waht he eats. He must, however, support me in my believes and decisions. He can't belittle me and do things out of spite (food wise). I'd really like to marry someome raw, or at least vegetarian or vegan, but if "the one" walks into my life and is a meat eater that's ok. I'll try to change him ;) slowly. Maybe educate is a better word?
07-06-2006, 08:27 PM
Imagine if it was in reverse. Would you want someone to check you off their dance card because all we ate was fruit all the time? Of course not. You date and marry a person because of who they are not what they are. My husband is everything I wanted in a mate. Yeah he eats meat, so what as long as he doesn't make me eat it. If you liked to eat raw food, swim, read, laugh and be outdoors and you met a person who was raw, hated to swim, laugh, read, and be outdoors would you really want to date or even marry that person who had nothing in common with you, but raw food!
07-06-2006, 08:35 PM
My husband eats meat. It's no biggie to me, although there are certain things I refuse to cook for him. I believe there is no one diet that works for all of us. He is clearly a meat eater. I have a friend who is the same. I can't eat the way they do. I feel sick if I do. And they can't eat the way I do. They feel sick if they do.
07-06-2006, 08:35 PM
My dh is a meat and cooked food person. So what?
My lifestyle has changed over the years and I try to influence him a little, too, for sure. For example I have started some months ago to pack him a lunchbox with either some leftovers from the day before (and yes, I do cook for him) and a salad and a small treat. He eats more salads than he did before, he still hates fruit, he still loves his meat. I don't mind - he should be happy and I am happy when he is.
We should see everything from both perspectives:
To SAD or other diets we look strange and radical.
For us, other diets are strange and radical.
To each their own...
I would never rule anyone out because of lifestyle, habits or food likes/dislikes. Character, understanding, education, heart - these are the important things for me.
Just me 2 cent ;)
My husband is vegan (and handsome he says to tell you), though not raw, and I can't imagine marrying or sharing my life with someone who ate animal products. He wasn't vegan when I met him, but then, neither was I. In some ways we are on this journey together.
It's true that, by not dating men who eat meat, you are excluding quite a few people from your pool of potential mates. However, for many people, abstention from animal products is not merely a dietary choice, but a reflection of their value systems. By choosing not to eat meat, my husband is exercising compassion for other creatures, responsibility as a consumer of resources, dedication to his own health and well-being, and care for the planet he inhabits. All of these qualities are very desirable and attractive to me in a mate. Being married to a vegan, I can honestly say I couldn't do it any other way.
Now, my husband is not raw and has not been very supportive of my attempts to "go raw" thus far. Although it's a challenge for me to not have his support, I don't think it affects me as deeply as choices that, to me, are a fundamental reflection of his values.
07-06-2006, 08:55 PM
To each your own Kris. I will keep my meat eater, LOL. He is my raw buddy. He supports me in ways I cannot fully express although he is not more the 50 or 60% raw himself.
I would rather have in support me in efforts I make to better myself personally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
More important then diet we connect on much higher plains such as we share are religious and moral values, our love for children, our love for family, and our love of dear friends. We have similiar goals and dreams and when they don't match up we encourage the other to reach for their goals.
I respect your love for your husband and that is awesome that your husband shares your vegan lifestyle, but I hate it for you that he doesn't support you raw lifestyle.
I hear ya that vegan is more then dietary. I love creatures too and so does my hubby, but we all transition at different levels. That is great that you and your husband are on the same journey, but it sounds like you may be going in another direction now with going toward raw and that is ok.
Our dates, bf, gf, husbands, wives and us we are all on journey's and so long as we stay within a birds eye view of each other we can both travel on our paths, inspire one another, grow, like, and love each other.
07-07-2006, 12:50 AM
Hi everyone! I do greatly appreciate everyone's contribution to my forever growing & changing school of thoughts. :D
It's funny, b/c I'd have to say the person I love the most & could do anything for is a meat eater -- my baby brother. :o I don't lecture him about eatting meat, & I will occasionally cook him a meal w/ meat. He'll, also, occasionally cook me a raw vegan meal. Though I have to admit that I think daily about how to incorporate more fresh veggies & fruits into his diet, b/c I think the RAW way of eatting is very healthy. :D
I'm still not sure about if my potential significant other not eatting meat will be a big deal for me yet. :o When I do start dating again, I'll surely get to know them for who they are foremost. We'll def. have those dinner dates. So I'll see if the person continually eatting meat in front of me will bother me, & maybe we can have a talk about how it's going to work in the family. :o
07-07-2006, 03:40 AM
When I met my mate I was not yet raw or vegetarian but I was very concious about eating organic and would not buy meat myself if it was not organic. He ate everything by then and still does. I did get him to be more concious about his foodchoices though and we match on so many other levels that food just doesn really matter. He ven started out raw with me though he couldn't keep it up himself due to hard work he is remaining supportive of me and my choices and that is all that matters! Good luck!
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