View Full Version : Perspectives...
01-30-2005, 12:37 AM
I never thought of myself as an angry person, but my husband claims I am. I'm not sure what the anger stems from-or if it is a combination of the many changes I've made in my life in the past 5 years. I think I hide it well with jokes and being silly, but he knows me better. I know that lately I've been taking it out on him, blaming him, and I feel we are drifting apart.
Tonight I spoke with an older woman who's late husband was a good friend of my husband. John died last August, just a month shy of his and Peggy's 45th wedding anniversary. Peggy and I were discussing this and I said, "Wow. 45 years is a good long marriage." She replied, "Honey, it wasn't nearly long enough. I wish I could be married to him for 45 more years."
I held the tears until I got off the phone but her words really got to me. I felt like some of my anger was drifting off my shoulders. I went to my hubby who was sleeping on the couch and kissed him. With him being 20 years older than I, I certainly won't have him for 45 years. I think I better learn to enjoy each day we have together before I end up like Peggy, wishing it was longer.
Your so right, I've been a bit the same lately, my husbands been super supportive of my 100% raw, but after reading your message, I realise I've been a bit self obsessed, thinking about raw eating, recipe's, detox symptoms not paying much mind to what really matters.
I worry a lot if something should happen and I'd be alone, how much I'd miss my husband, how I'd cope. I hope I can encourage him to take this journey with me so we can spend longer together.
01-30-2005, 02:08 AM
We take our loved ones for granted sometimes, don't we? And we expect them to put up with behaviour (moods, grumpiness) that we'd *never* expect a stranger or work colleague to put up with.
Thanks for being so honest, Autumn - a good, gentle reminder to all of us...
01-30-2005, 08:31 AM
Thank you for your honesty. I have a super husband and sometimes even then, I get angey with him because I feel he isn't doing what he is suppose to do, when I want him to do it. I then have to realize that he is who he is and that is why I love him so much.
About anger and change , I just read this from someone else and it may help you:
Rather than medicate the pain or symptoms away, real healing will come from removing the cause of the pain. The emotions that are stored in our bodies need to be experienced fully without judgment and released. This process requires courage, commitment and patience, to face and experience some potentially unpleasant emotions that have been bottled up inside for years. I find yoga particularly useful in reconnecting to my body, but any movement practice that requires breath consciousness can help. Reconnecting to the body provides a pathway for emotions to be experienced and released. Also useful to me is meditation, which for me is a practice of sitting in silence and focusing the attention on consciousness.
Another part of healing is letting go of that which no longer serves. Things to look at releasing are behavior patterns and thinking patterns that drain our energy. Removing our attachments like judgment, criticism, or having a preference of how the world or other people should be will release sources of our unhappiness and suffering, which should help prevent the draining of energy. Also important is to examine our relationships with people that drain our energy. Are friends and family and coworkers enhancing our lives, or does spending time with these people drain our energy? Getting in touch with the body will help us determine if these relationships are beneficial. When we become sensitive enough, we can actually feel our body become weaker in the presence of people who drain our energy. Some of these relationships may have served in the past, but now are no longer enhancing us, and we may have to let go of the ones that no longer serve.
It helped me, I hope it does for you as well.
01-30-2005, 10:46 AM
We never know what tomorrow will bring -- I am 38 and my husband crossed over to the other side a little more than a year ago, he was 49. You never know what is today may be gone tomorrow. Cherish today it is your present!
Those paragraphs are very helpful sweetlips. I can't remember which journal I read them either. It's a very good way to deal with emotional detox.
glad_2beme, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, it set me back a little and made me realise I don't need to be wasting anymore time not appreciating what I have.
01-30-2005, 02:40 PM
All of you are full of wise words. It really does make you think about life in a different light. Thanks to all, Georgie
01-30-2005, 03:52 PM
Thanks for your kind and thought-provoking words, everyone.
Sweetlips, I copied those paragraphs and printed them out to reflect on some more. So much truth in them, thank you for sharing.
Glad-Geez, sweetie, I didn't know that. I am so sorry. I am 37 myself and I can't imagine it. I guess we never know, which makes it so important to treat each day together as something precious and very special.
Caramba-isn't that the truth? I talk to, and my husband replies to me in ways that we wouldn't ever think of talking to a stranger, yet we love each other? Of course, since we love one another, it makes us more tolerant of each other's moods, but it still makes one stop and think.
Sam, I am trying to get my hubby to go raw too so I will have him with me for a good long time!
01-30-2005, 07:03 PM
Glad2beme - Thank you for sharing your life, you make me realize my promise to Celebrate my life more. I was feeling sorry for me today, and now I realize that my life is like a flower, it is open for my to receive life, and for the petals that fall, the can be a part of someone elses. I need to stop remembering the pain, and feel the laugher a little more. I really haven't lost anything and I have gained so much
Ptrish In Tennessee
01-30-2005, 08:56 PM
Glad2Be.... my husband died when he was 49, although that was 4 years ago.... he left behind a wife (me) and 4 kids (ours) :eek: we just never know, do we... one day at a time is what usually works....and i do mean "usually" , not always :) i need to count my blessings and try to stay sane lol
05-28-2009, 05:15 PM
I think that we often need a reminder of what is really important in life. For me, that is having my wonderful fiance in my life.
I plan to go up and hold on to him as soon as I am done, and kiss him.
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