Raw Foodist Marriages....A Rarity???

[sevenbravo]

It is obvious that I (as a guy) am in the minority on this forum. So it would appear that most people into eating the raw food diet are women. In fact, I know of no married couple where both the man and the women are both willing participants in this diet. My wife and I spent some time at the Tree of Life last year and I discovered that nearly all the people there were single and/or divorced. And was the case with the two divorced people I met, the raw food diet and lifestyle was the wedge that drove their marriages apart. It certainly was a trial to my marriage. It often makes me wonder....is harmony in the stomach worth the disharmony in the home?
So I want to hear from those raw married couples! Let me know that we (my wife and I) are not alone. And prove me wrong that the raw food eating married couple is a rarity.

[m_pizzano]

I would love to hear from raw married couples too! My fiance is open to raw but told me that he will never be 100% raw. I would love to hear some positive stories :)

[Crystal Rose]

I'm "100%" raw, and my husband is not raw. He's eaten more raw food since I've been raw, but he is definitely not raw. He's extremely supportive of my raw-ness and he's lost 20 pounds since I've been raw, just from eating more "live" foods. It's been almost 15 months, and we're not divorced yet. {Just kidding, cuz I have no intention of getting divorced again -- it's my third marriage, and he's a really sweet guy, so we have no serious problems or issues in our marriage.}

It's hard sometimes watching him eat something I would consider to be really decadent, but he's pretty cool about not bringing certain foods into the house. And he doesn't expect me to "fix" meals for him -- he fends for himself (I learned my lesson from the first two marriages -- wherein I fixed dinner every night...) -- he's very, very, very cool that way. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't supportive of my raw lifestyle choice. I suppose I would either not be raw, or I would have gotten divorced for the third time.

The other thing is, his mother lives in the same city as us, and she's very accepting of my eating choices. For example, if they throw a Bar-B-Que, I bring my own food and no one says anything. I don't tell them how to eat, and they don't give me a hard time about my being raw. Sometimes, it's a little strange for me, though, like at Christmas, watching his brother fix approx. 10 pounds of bacon for the family, etc., it was really quite weird for me. I felt like an Alien from another planet watching this food being prepared (eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits, etc.) Nothing's been said that hasn't already been said by a close family member who has not only gone raw, but now gives talks on raw, so they've been exposed to the concept that this is perhaps not the best way to eat, yet they choose to continue this way. I just do my thing and keep my mouth shut unless I'm asked.

Sorry for the rambling-sounding post, but I think you get the idea, for whatever it's worth. Bottom line, it works for us, but I consider our situation to be somewhat unique, based on my life experience.

Great question, though. I'd be interested in hearing other people's experiences with their relationships/marriages.

Thanks for letting me share.

[rawjojo]

Hi!
My husband and I cohabitate in a mostly raw house. While I continue to try and stay completely raw he is still transitioning some. He has a few favs that he has seriously cut down on but still indulges in every once in a while. He still eats black olives and conventional salad dressing. He is a peanut butter fan so every once in a while he will eat some type of bread product with peanut butter on it. He really tries to keep his commitment with raw strong because he knows it is helping his health improve. He WAS diabetic but not any longer AND he had seriously high cholesterol and that has improved too.

[Lay-Lay]

My husband although is it not raw is my raw buddy. He looks out for me and helps me when I am struggling. I have been mid to high raw now for most of 3 years. I have been 100% raw for over 2 months now. In the entire 3 years he has been very supportive. When I wasn't doing the lifestyle as good as I should he would try to encourage me to do better.

Besides him just being really sweet I think alot of his support comes from the fact that he has seen me battle so much sickness and he has seen how eating raw changes me so much.

He has said that he is going to be 100% raw someday, but he is just going to have to keep working his way into it. So I say he is on his journey too.

He eats very little SAD foods in a sweet form. He mostly eat raw fruit and gourmet raw treats. He has cut his meat portions in half and is eating alot more cooked fresh organic vegetable. He has eliminated sodas. He has stopped drinking cow milk and now is enjoying nut milk. He has lost 14 pounds and his allergies are doing so much better.

We have a great relationship and if anything I think the raw food lifestyle has made it better.

Before 100% raw I was extremly moody. I have for sometime been trying to work on my emotions and have made many breakthroughs over the past 3 years. My most recent breakthrough about a month and half ago was a big one. I finally was able to get to the root as to why I had to control everything, including my husband. I would think everything had to be done a certain way and if it was not in my perfect little box of thinking then it was wrong. WOW! It amazes me about how much stress I caused myself and others around me by this way of thinking. I have almost 100% let go of this and things at home have gotten even better in every aspect.

Loiuse Hayes book "You Can Heal Your Life" had helped me in was I never dreamed it could. It has also helped my husband as we work on some of the exercises in it together and it has helped him with issues from his childhood and family and stuff. We also study a Family Happiness Book together that has really strengthen our bonds together (I can send anyone who wants one a copy, FREE, if you just email me your address).

I wouldn't say raw has made our marriage, our same faith and love has done that, but it has enhanced it.

[spicyfull]

That brings up another forum..........A Forum for being matched with RAW dates.

[m_pizzano]

Iloverawfoods ~ Your story is a nice one! It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship even if your husband is not 100% raw. That's what I'm hoping to have. My fiance is supportive and we've had discussions about how my being raw will impact our relationship. He knows how important this is to me so I feel confident things will work out. It's good to hear how other couples are figuring it out!

[Sheryl]

My husband and I are both raw, and discovered it together soon after we got together. He jumped in much faster, and was very understanding that I wasn't quite as quick. I think I had more emotional issues with food, where for him it's something to enjoy but mostly for nourishment. The only 'cooked' thing you'll ever find in our house is tea.

We work with many people, who go raw and are surprised from family follows along later. I know people who have had one family member go raw, I know others who have had 7 go raw! I think it can just take time, you an a guiding example, and some tantalizing food to get them interested. You just never know!

I think whether or not eating differences hurt a marriage has more to do with the relationship as a whole. If someone eats better, and constantly tries to force it on the other, good things don't happen. BUt when it's approached with a sense of play and excitment in sharing, who can resist.

That's my thought anyway...
Sheryl

[rawpriestess]

Alissa and Dennis( Alissa is the owner of this forum)

Paul Nisan and his wife, (can't remember her name sorry)

Me (Rawpriestess) and my beloved (Dragggon) (I am 100% and he is about 80%)

the only difference in our food intake, is that in the winter time, Dragggon will sometimes eat a piece of meat and all year long he eats bottled salad dressing, but that is about it, OOPs, and he drinks coffee, forgot about that one.

[rawpriestess]

Oh, and just to be clear, if Dragggon didn't support me 100% in my magnificence, then I'd drop him like a hot potato, because MY life choices are important to me, I would also expect HIM to drop ME, if I didnt' support HIM.

he doesn't attempt to control me, and I don't attempt to control him, we honor each other's choices totally.

because a partner that doesn't support your magnificense, is NOT your partner, they are trying to control you, and they won't have your best interes at heart, and who wants a partnership like that? NOT ME!!! YIKES!!!

[jjaj2022]

This is my first time posting and this topic seemed perfect for me to share my story.

My fiance and I went started a vegan diet in May 2005. We felt great and loved the food we were eating. We decided to go raw in May 2006 and we feel unbelievable. We are always trying new recipes and since we live in CA, we have access to a few raw restaurants which are really fun to go to. We even went to a raw restaurant for my birthday and my family came, who are not raw and they loved the food. We both feel that eating raw has changed our lives. We have lost some weight, which is great but we have also experienced mental clarity at a level that we did not know even existed. We are so happy to have found the raw lifestyle and to be on this path together.

P.S. I have been reading this forum for a long time but have been too shy to post. It is a wonderful forum with such nice people and great information. :)

[Lisalee2]

I've been high raw for about a month now and my husband has been eating more and more raw too. I'm on Day 3 of 100% raw and feel great, he says he'd eat 100% raw also if it's what I fed him. ;) I stay home with the kiddos and he works long hours so I make him breakfast/lunch/dinner. Sometimes I don't have lots of raw stuff on hand and end up making cooked food but he's very open to eating all raw foods. I'm so lucky to have a husband who eats whatever I put in front of him. :)

[m_pizzano]

Lisalee2 - I'm on day 3 of being 100% raw too. Congrats!

[Lisalee2]

Lisalee2 - I'm on day 3 of being 100% raw too. Congrats!

Yeah, we rawk! :) I'm feeling pretty good and haven't had any major cravings just yet. I made Alissa's Almost Tuna last night and I think I can live off that for the next 27 days, lol (Sorry to derail the thread)

[Apasaraw]

I'm raw and my husband has always enjoyed fresh fruits, veggies. To him the almond is holy and I grew up on an almond farm...it was meant to be.

He has supported me in the raw way of eating from the get go. I was high raw growing up and in my teens fell into SAD. I also fell ill on all levels.Hubby has seen the improvements in my mood, health and overall spirit. In fact he has been my greatest cheerleader in life no matter what I'm interested in so I guess it stands to reason he would support this nutrition choice as well. RawPriestess you are so right. A partner must allow your magnificence! :)

He watched Alissa's DVD with me and embraced it. While not all raw he is high raw now in SUmmer and will be less raw in Winter. He tends to eat the season and that is a balance for him. We have great salads and frozen treats together. The comeraderie of festive social eating is not lost because we eat differently. The point for us is to eat together every night. It is our ritual. It may be the only us time we get all day and it's terrific.

sevenbravo this was a great thread to start! Thanks so much!
iloverawfood your story is wonderful as are all the positive voices on this thread....I really enjoy Louise Hays books as well!

[adrienne]

i am very lucky and have a great husband who is extremely supportive although he is not raw, he is also supportive of us raising our daughter with lots of raw b/c he sees the great results of it.
glad to hear of others like us too as well as cool raw couples!
welcome jjaj2022! :) keep posting!

[Narz]

My girlfriend and I are both raw. Not married though.

[Pailani]

Alissa and Denise( Alissa is the owner of this forum)


You meant Dennis, right?

I think my dh would be more enthusiastic if I was having more dramatic results, but I'm still tired on and off and I haven't lost more than a couple pounds - so I look and seem the same to him. Not much incentive for him to give up his favorite foods.

[rawpriestess]

YES, Dennis, OOPS, I'll go fix that right now -- YIKES!!!

[daylene]

Okay, call me cynical, but I think if a marriage can be broken by an issue like raw foods, than it was going to be broken anyway. Raw foods was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and if it hadn't been that straw, it would have been another sooner or later!

I'm almost 100% raw now and have been for over two months, but my dh isn't. You're right, raw food seems to be more of a woman thing. Maybe it has to do with women's obsession with dieting and losing weight, and men's concern about getting enough calories and protein. That seems to be my husband's main concern. He's skinny already and really doesn't want to lose any more weight. I don't think he would lose, but anyway...

The way we have made it work is for me to do my raw thing and not pressure him into joining me. He's very supportive and eats whatever raw food I make, then if he thinks it's not substantial enough he cooks something else for himself. As he sees the positive changes in me, he's becoming more and more interested. He'll pick up some raw literature and start reading it, then slowly I think he's coming around. But I'm not worried. He's a smart guy and he doesn't need me to nag him or try to change or convert him.

Congrats on having a raw marriage. There's a couple of chefs in New York, Micheal and Sarma something-or-other, who are raw together. They own a raw restaurant and wrote a cookbook, "Raw Food, Real World." But you were asking about raw marriages , and they are living together.

Peace,
daylene

[sevenbravo]

I think this is probably true Daylene. However, food and eating is an emotionally charged subject in this country. Everything we do as an American society is centered around food. When families and friends get together, we eat. Most social gatherings are centered on eating. We eat when we are sad, happy, bored... whenever. Adopting this lifestyle (raw food) is a life changing event. Eating raw foods is only a small part of that change! You can't just start eating raw food and not have it affect the other areas of your life. My wife and I used to eat out once a week for a night away from the kids. That was hard enough as Vegans, but now we simply don't go out to eat anymore. Of course we find better things to do, but it is an adjustment. People invite us over for dinner sometimes and that is an awkward situation. Church gatherings require us to eat before we go then sit around watching others eat. Now we just don't go. My wife says we are food snobs! ;) A lot of raw couples seperate themselves from the rest of the world because of it. Gabriel Cousens and his wife have done this, RP lives in the boonies too I think?? My wife would like to live in the mountains away from the world.
Anyway, I am just saying that just eating raw food is not the issue that breaks a marriage or tears apart a family, it is all the other peripheral issues thrown into the mix that makes it more challenging. And if a relationship is on shaky ground already....well then you may have a problem.

Kudos to all those of you who are having patience with your husbands. Its tough for us. Generally speaking, we aren't as bright, and we are very short sighted when it comes to health. Set a good example and don't be too pushy.



Okay, call me cynical, but I think if a marriage can be broken by an issue like raw foods, than it was going to be broken anyway. Raw foods was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and if it hadn't been that straw, it would have been another sooner or later!

[Eveleaf]

Okay, call me cynical, but I think if a marriage can be broken by an issue like raw foods, than it was going to be broken anyway. Raw foods was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and if it hadn't been that straw, it would have been another sooner or later!

Yup, yup, I agree totally daylene. Look at RP and Dragggon. It's not the raw thing that is a unique gold coin in their relationship - it's the standard for how they treat each other on EVERY issue, with every difference.

If raw is causing your relationship trouble, chances are it's the symptom of larger issues. My DH supports me entirely, though he is only about 50% raw. I don't try to pressure him in any way, or show displeasure with his choices of how to eat. My life should be testimony enough! :)

I'm very blessed.

Cheers,
Eve

[JinxieKat]

Wow.. a marriage breaking up over food choices. *shudder* I'd have to agree, if that is the case then there are other issues going along with that other than just food. I am raw and my husband is not. I eat my food, he eats his food, and all is good. We've been married for 9 years now. Now, if I had come in one day and said 'All the food in the house is going to be raw' there would have been WWIII and I wouldn't blame him. I cook for him still and uncook for me. Is it a bit harder for me at times with the temptation of cooked foods around. Sure it is, but that's Ok. If I'm really struggling I can ask him to deal with dinner himself as long as I have 'easy' things about for him to make.

He fully supports my food choices even if he doesn't understand it. I fully support his foods even if I never want to eat that way again. I do add more raw food to his meals, but there are some things he does like. He's not much on fruits, but he loves cucumber, tomato, onion salads and such. I can even just sprinkle that with herbs and forgo the dressing. But then I've changed his diet over the last 9 years simply because of my cooking style. I grew up in the northeast and he is a southern boy. I don't fry chicken and I don't do breakfast gravey every weekend *lol* Now we'll go to a breakfast place that has gravey and where at first he'd always order now he normally doesn't. He says that "I've ruined his taste buds' since gravey doesn't sit well with him anymore *grin* It wouldn't surprise me if in another 9 years he is mostly raw. It won't be because I forced him, it will just be a natural progression. If it happens great, if it doesn't happen great. It is his decsion and I respect that!

Jinx

[Shan]

My hubby is not raw, but now that I am he's eating more and more raw. Now that he's seeing such an improvement in my health and my weight, on a nearly daily basis he tells me he wants to go raw too. Though he never seems to make that step. BUT to me the important thing is he knows what I'm doing is right, and it's his goal too even though he hasn't reached it yet. I'm confident he will one day.

[Dandelion Girl]

There is a couple that lives close to me, David and Yemiah Favor, that are raw and seem to be very happy. I met another woman at Sun Harvest the other day that is in a happy raw marriage. Also Forever Young and Pansy that sometimes post on this site. My sister and her husband are raw. He still has a few slips, but is committed to continuing the raw lifestyle. I think it has probably improved their marriage. My bf is not raw, but he really wants me to stay raw. I think there are a lot of people out there with raw marriages. And I agree that if a couple split up because of raw, there was a lot more going on than that.

Pam

[NuttyRawMom]

My husband and I are on day 13 on 100% raw!! We have been on/off all forms of eating for 3 years and no matter what I choose to do, my husband is always willing to be there and support me. Our problem is that when one of us stumbles, we both do! Yet, we have never tried 100% before. I was suddenly ready and he said let's do it! It has been all my research and interest, but he trusts me and wants to support me. His family has always been into health, but not into raw, much less vegetarianism. We believe this is the answer we have been looking for and it feels different this time around. No temptations of cooked food really helps...we both seem to be the all or nothing type. All I know is that if I didn't have his support, I wouldn't be able to do it!

[Linda1970]

My husband and I are on day 13 on 100% raw!! We have been on/off all forms of eating for 3 years and no matter what I choose to do, my husband is always willing to be there and support me. Our problem is that when one of us stumbles, we both do! Yet, we have never tried 100% before. I was suddenly ready and he said let's do it! It has been all my research and interest, but he trusts me and wants to support me. His family has always been into health, but not into raw, much less vegetarianism. We believe this is the answer we have been looking for and it feels different this time around. No temptations of cooked food really helps...we both seem to be the all or nothing type. All I know is that if I didn't have his support, I wouldn't be able to do it!

Wow, you're so lucky.

[sport]

That brings up another forum..........A Forum for being matched with RAW dates.
One of the raw food forums has a personal section where people post their details and pics for this purpose

[misslinda]

....is harmony in the stomach worth the disharmony in the home?
So I want to hear from those raw married couples! Let me know that we (my wife and I) are not alone. And prove me wrong that the raw food eating married couple is a rarity.


My apologies for not being married but your question was interesting to me.

Given that stats show Raw food lifetsyle is about 1% of the total population, doesn't cover a whole lot of folks out there but.....

in my personal "mindful dwellings," it seems like single or divorced people who have more time or life changing events (like divorcees) are more likely [seeking] food/lifestyle change to improve (find themselves etc.).

All of my friends that have been divorced, have always followed it by eating healtheir and exploring new "diet changes."

Going back to your question "is harmony in the stomach worth disharmony in the marriage?" I really believe that harmony in the stomach is an underlying focal point for an individaul to be at their loving best that can only make a marriage stronger. IF not, they were not meant to be together. If a couple is both attempting to be at their higher self ( thru raw lifestyle) then, the unraveling of who they are now and who they truly are becoming is an intricate and beautiful process that can be unpleasant---so by discussing those changes can be beneficial for both. Again, these are only personal opinions.

Best wishes to all you couples ! :)

[onesmartcookie]

There's a couple of chefs in New York, Micheal and Sarma something-or-other, who are raw together. They own a raw restaurant and wrote a cookbook, "Raw Food, Real World." But you were asking about raw marriages , and they are living together.




Actually they broke up like a year ago. It was gossiped about to be a nasty break up too. It's Sarma Melingailis (not right spelling I don't think) and Matthew Kenney. Sarma stayed at Pure Food and Wine and Matthew started opening up a whole bunch of other raw restauarants (called Blue Green I think?) in Manhattan. Sooooo.....yea. At least even after they split they both maintained their raw lifestyles.

[swingbolder]

I agree that not every marriage can handle the differences. But if a marriage breaks up over one being raw and the other not, then there are other issues going on. Or maybe it's just like interracial marriages or interreligious marriages -- some people make the decision to make things work despite the differences and difficulties involved, others say it's not worth it, they want someone who's more like them. In which case I really don't think they were meant to be together.

It's been difficult from time to time, but my non-raw vegan husband supports my rawness 100%. I've been raw for a year and a half. When I eat cooked food, he sees how sick I go back to being, so rather than selfishly try to tempt me with whatever he's eating just for his pleasure/convenience, he does everything he can to help me stay raw.

[SijaeintheRaw]

My husband and I started 100% raw together 20 days ago. 10 of those days he was doing MC which isn't technically 100% raw (maple syrup) but after that he went raw again. I've been raw the whole time. He's having a harder time of it then I am at this point but I think that's because he's only been truly 100% raw for a week now. I am hopeful he will stay on it with me but I am committed to doing it either way.

Laura

[dreamrawalwz]

Obviously I'm no married, heck I havn't been on a date and I'm 19. Point is...I hope to find someone that fully supports raw for me 100%, if not vegetarian/vegan himself. I think it would be hard to me to find someone with similar health, all natural, organic intrests, but only at 19...I mean, there are teens that are raw (on here!), but I havn't seen any males, hmm...

[RawFoodieMom]

My husband is totally on board with going raw and we are doing it together. I'm so happy about this, it will make it so much easier for the whole house to be raw. He soooo wants all of us to get healthy (we have a 4 year old daughter).

I don't necessarily think that it is mostly women that are raw. I think it should be considered that more women come to message boards than men as well. Like my hubby is raw, but he doesn't go to message boards of any kind or even talk to people through email. Though he does use the computer a lot it's not for this kind of thing. So I think there are a lot of men out there who are like him, and raw, but we don't know about them because they don't come to places like this. :)

Just a thought to consider... :)

[rawpriestess]

I think that what you do, is NOT who you are.

In all of the men I have dated, I have only know ONE, and that is Dragggon who would truly support my magnificense, and NOT worry or fret about my choices being different than his, he says the same about me.

We are also not of the same faith, I am metaphysical, and he is Wiccan/Druid, and they are VERY different.

We are also of different races, I am Scotch/Irish and French and he is Native American and German.

Now why is this so? because each of us is totally comfortable in our own beliefs, and we do not need the other person/partner to validate us or our beliefs.

Stress comes when you aren't REALLY sure about what your beliefs are, and if they are right, or semi-right or totally wrong, that is when you need someone to say, "YES YOU ARE RIGHT, I AGREE WITH YOU." then you feel like "whew, maybe I am okay, because that belief just might be right."

but if someone doesn't agree with you, then you feel like you need to fight with them to MAKE them see your way, and agree with YOUR way.

But it doesn't ever work, either you KNOW what you KNOW, or you don't it's really that easy.

so, if you feel yourself having an emotional response when someone is going against your belief structure, then it is because you don't REALLY believe in your own belief structure.

think of it this way.

women, okay for a woman, if any one says to you, "you are not a woman." you don't think a thing about it, because you KNOW you are, you just think that other person is crazy or stupid, or who knows, and you don't even care.

but if you are a drag queen (man dressing as a woman), and anyone says to you, "you are not a woman." well, you react badly, you get all upset, you buy prettier shoes and a better outfit, and get more glamour going on, it really upsets you, because in your heart you KNOW it is true.