Lifelong Decisions

[ShelShel]

Last night before bed my husband brought up being raw forever and how it would affect our normal outings. :o It just never occured to me how my chosing to go raw...could affect everyone around me.

Once a year we go to a certain Fair together...it's a special outing because when we had just started dating he took me there. We usually have elephant ears and corn dogs...then head up the road to a little 50's diner and have onions rings...banana splits. You get the idea. Most of the day seems to be centered around food. SAD food. :rolleyes:

So, here is the decision I have made...and he was thrilled with. I'm purchasing a dehydrator. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but I have to be able to make gourmet raw stuff. Not as much for me...as for those who love me and want to not torture me with their SAD. So, I suggested...I can make all of these foods we usually get there...raw! Then I can bring them for me...and he can purchase something there. We will both be eating the same type of food...so, it won't seem to him like I'm going without. We can still enjoy the same things together, without me having to step away from raw. ;)

I told him I would make up some raw onion rings and banana ice cream and put them in a cooler. Before we went into the restuarant I would slip them in my purse. He would order his food...I will bring mine and voila! (this is not the type of establishment that would care if I do this or not...it's very much like a food court at a mall. ;) ) We are eating together...and he's not feeling bad about the salad in front of me...while he eats SAD.

If gourmet raw will make him more comfortable on these special outings...and let's be honest, I will probably fall in love with some of these dishes...how can it only make things better?!?!?!

This is a lifelong decision for me now. I am realizing it's not always about how I feel about my food...but how I make others feel about theirs. He is my partner and tries so hard to make my raw life easier...I will give him that same feeling...and that is how we will make it work for us...for a lifetime!

How about you? How do you make these moments work in your SAD/RAW relationships?

[dreamrawalwz]

That's a great decision! Maybe one day he'll begin to like your raw version of these dishes and prefer those instead, who knows!

[Tirza]

I am very impressed with the way you are dealing with this. You have a very good idea, one all of us could do to copy. You are very lucky in having a husband who is so caring about YOU that he is willing to entertain this solution.
Graciousness all around. Wonderful.
If only everyone on the SAD diet would be so non-defensive when confronted with people with a dietary preference/challenge.
If only all of us could be so non-confrontational or judgmental when dealing with our important people.
I am looking forward to hearing how others have successfully dealt with this.

[Larue]

I think this is a wonderful compromise.....

And what a nice romantic man you've got ;)

[Lay-Lay]

ShelShel:

If I didn't know better I would think we were married to the same person. I do the same exact thing.

I am not much on alot of the gourmet, but I make it because it makes my hubby feel more comfortable. He is on a journey too, he just hasn't reach to 100% mark yet. He eats alot of raw fruit. Probally 5-9 servings during the week and on the weekend he has more.

[Shan]

That sounds like a good comprimise, though slightly complicated. How come it would bother him so much if you weren't eating the same things he and the kids are? Can't you walk around the Fair, with them eating banana splits etc, and you just eating cherries or strawberries or whatever? Just curious.

[Lay-Lay]

yeah, I think she probally could, but if her husband is like mine he always wants to include me on everything. He would feel like I was in someway being left out not getting to eat icecream, etc... and he doesn't like to leave me out. He would go so far as to avoid taking me so as not to make me feel left out and we all miss out on something we enjoyed. So why not make up some similiar raw treats and have a great time with all.

[ShelShel]

Thank you all for your responses.
Lay-Lay...you are so right. That is exactly what I was trying to say. No, there is nothing wrong with me eating cherries when everyone is eating an elephant ear...but my husband knows me...better than anyone and he knows...I would wait all year to eat one of those...I just love them. He would know how hard it would be and would want to spare me...while not getting to enjoy it himself. :o He's wonderful like that.
For most of my life...that is exactly what I do. I bring my food and am surrounded by SAD eaters. I never complain...or act like I'm dieing to eat what they are eating. But I think he misses sitting across the table from me and eating the same thing...enjoying it together. Does that make any sense? I'm awesome at cooking italian meals...and after all the effort of making a huge meal....I don't get to participate and it makes him sad to think...that is forever.
Raw is such a joy for me...I don't want him to be sad for me. So, I felt I needed him to see me eating something that resembles SAD. So, he doesn't think I'm so deprived.
He did try raw...and just can't do it. He has however wanted to lose weight and get healthy. :) So, we feel like we are traveling in the same direction...just taking parallel paths instead of the same one.
How do you guys make it work with your raw loved ones so that everyone is comfortable and happy?

[Lay-Lay]

I make cooked meals up once a week and put them on disposable plates and place them in the freezer. This is great for me. I only have to smell cooked food in my house really once a week and he always has a "healthy" (hey, it not fast food and its fresh and mostly organic) meal to eat whenever he is hungry. We stay very happy this way and when there is something special I make raw meals to resemble SAD meals. He doesn't bring any SAD food in the house. I am more comfortable about buying it for him or together with him so that I don't buy any foods that would tempt me. If I go shopping without him I of course ask him what does he want, which is usually answered with whatever you get me baby, LOL!

[denisedeland]

That is really a great idea... Your lucky to have such a understanding husband..

Denise

[spicyfull]

I think you are awsome.................I guess that's why I ANT married and if I do he MUST be raw. Again you are awsome.........

[rawpriestess]

Hum, well my beloved Dragggon eats alot more raw than he admits, he eats about 80% raw, so he only eats cooked sometimes, so this is how we do it.


he does all of the shopping and he buys me all our fruits veggies nuts etc, and I only go to the store if there is something special I want, usually once a week, I'll go and we will try a new fruit that we've never tried, that is what we do now for a fun food thing, instead of making the midnight pizza we used to make, it was a lot of fun for us as a couple to do this together.

as far as the day to day foods, the summer is easy, he works in our gardens, most of the day, while I'm in the office or studio, and he forages in the strawberry beds, the cherry tree, the garden etc, then at night he comes in and we have a meal together, while I'm inside during the day, and he just brings me in bowls of fruit like he is eating, it's really easy, at night we share a gourmet raw meal, or he might add a small piece of meat to his, or maybe a bottled salad dressing, but mostly he eats raw too,.

In the winter time, he gets fresh fruits and makes breakfast for us and lunch and we eat inside, while he makes his jewelry or magick wands, and then in the evening I eat something gourmet raw, and he either joins me, or he will go outside or to his garage kitchen and make something and either eat it there, or bring it in, (his food used to bother me, it doesn't any more, so he mostly eats it inside now),in the winter time, he likes something warmer, and usually eats some kind of meat, most days.

If we go out to dinner, which we used to do at least 3 to 4 times a week, and now it's maybe 3 or 4 times every couple of months, hardly go out anymore, I think the last time was my birthday in March. LOL

we used to eat vegetarian (me) and SAD for him, now IF we go out, he eats his SAD, and I eat a salad or fruit plate, but that just doesn't happen that much anymore.

If we travel, then I just buy a bagged salad and some veggies to put into it, and some lemon juice for a dressing, and some fruit and maybe some nuts for munching, Dragggon will usually eat the same thing, but have a bottled salad dressing.

[berrymarymac]

My mom kinda has been saying the same thing to me. It's almost the 4th and we're going to a hotel near by at Stone Mountain to just relax (even though we live like 5 minutes from the place!). But my mom keeps on asking me what I'm going to do, since she wants to go to the buffett, which is the best food!! She's on the rice diet and is going to treat herself. It's been a week and I've lost about 2 pounds, which is amazing for me, since I have not been able to lose weight in years!! And I don't want to give it up. I love the salad bar there and maybe they can fix me something, but I'll improvise. But I think that's a great idea for the fair!!

[m_pizzano]

ShelShel: That is exactly how my boyfriend is. It's weird because until you explained why your husband misses you eating the same things he does, I couldn't quite put into words how my boyfriend (Adam) was feeling. But when you explained how your husband feels, you hit the nail on the head with my Adam as well. He also knows how much I like ice cream for example and he used to love to share it with me. Especially in the summer. He feels bad eating it in front of me but doesn't want to deprive himself. I'm going to try your suggestion of just making some raw ice cream in a cooler to take with me. :)
Marisa