In Tears...

[mindelicious]

I can't believe what I have done and how I even got to this point. I was raw for 6 months and for the past two weeks I have chopped away at everything I had worked for and now I am at the bottom of the barrel and I feel so weak. I wake up and say this is my day but by lunch time I am shaking and just need to eat something cooked so I give in --then I feel like why should I waste the glorious raw food by cosuming it now after that horrific food I ate earlier...so I eat processed snacks and leave my raw goodies in my lunch bag. Then dinner comes and why bother now I am not good enough for raw at this point in the day. Then right before bed I binge on all kinds of crap and sleep with the evilness inside my stomach.
I sleep for 11 hours because I have no energy to get out of bed. My face looks horrible--I am 23 & now I look 35 or more. I have gained back all the weight I lost during those 6 months in the past two weeks. I hate what I am doing right now. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy now. I have even smoked a couple cigarettes in the past two weeks--I gave up smoking when I went raw.

July 1st I am going to put everything I have into a new beginning. I am going to take pictures of myself tonight--hopefully that will inspire a change. Tomorrow I am going to focus on why I have been doing this--I mean really find a reason for the self-destruction, denial, hatred, & manipulation I have introduced to my life. I am thinking I may have started detoxing childhood memories like some people say you can and I didn't know how to handle it and this is what happened.
Maybe I should even seek counseling

I think this was my first step at moving forward, coming clean here. I am no longer in denial of my cooked love-affair but my soulmate (my raw self) has accepted what I have done but insists I come back to where I belong.

[ljannise]

WE ARE ALL THERE!!!

You are a human being & you always will be! The success is when you pick yourself up, dust yourself off & walk again. I would much rather fall & LEARN than get there right away.

Pitfalls are there for a reason & we ALL have them!!!

That's how you appreciate bliss so much. You know what the road is like away from it!!

[ShelShel]

I am so sorry to hear the pain in your words. Raw (((HUGS))) I did this too...exactly 27 days ago. For two weeks straight...I binged on anything and everything. I can agree that you might have been feeling emotions you were ill equiped to deal with...because I was too. Well, I decided...I can either live hating myself and burying these emotions or I can do what is right for my body and learn to live with them when they re-surface. I started a 30 day challenge and have stuck with it. Completely. I think that those two weeks spurred something in me. It was a good example of how I used to live before raw...and how it was not working for me. So, if it isn't working...change it so it is. You can do this! You can return to raw! It's that first day back that proves it to you. Eat lots and lots and lots of raw...it's hard to crave anything on a full belly...and give yourself lots of choices. View it like you are a newbie without those 6 months behind you. Your body will thank you...your mind will thank you...and your soul will be blessed! Good luck! ;)

[chilove]

Hello there,

First of all be gentle with yourself. There is no reason to beat yourself up. Our emotional connections with food are deep and complicated and it will take you some time and effort to untangle them all. You have permission to be a fallible human that is still learning! :-) Give yourself credit that you are attempting to change your life on a massive scale and do something pretty radical by societies standards (although beautiful in it's simplicity, and elegance) and that of course there will be a learning curve. Try to not see going off of raw as an all or nothing event that blows your whole day. Get right back to raw the very next meal, and learn from the expereince. Read every positive raw story you can find online to keep yourself motivated and do lots of positive affirmations about raw. You CAN do this! :-)


Best to you,

Audrey
www.rawhealing.com

[Eveleaf]

Hi there mindelicious!

(Where's Raw Priestess when you need her?)

Well RP said something a few weeks ago about this kind of thing, and it struck me so hard I'm still on the floor, lol. Mind you, she said it MUCH better than this, but this is my poor immitation of it:

She commented that "tomorrow" doesn't technically exist, and that's why our promises to fix things "tomorrow" never work out. ALL we have is this VERY moment. That's it!

So if you are the kind of person who eats cooked food for lunch/dinner today, then likely you will eat cooked food for lunch/dinner tomorrow, and the next day, and forever, amen. Because when you get to tomorrow you will find it is in fact TODAY, and you are the same person you were yesterday at this time and place, you haven't changed, so you will behave the same way.

To put it another way, it is coming to the realization that THIS moment is in fact eternity, it is the past and the present and the future, and you have to do your BEST in the present moment if you want your past, present and future to hold your best. You can't improve things later on down the road, because that moment never actually arrives.

The solution is to eat raw NOW.

Nevermind what you binged on 15 minutes ago. The past doesn't exist, remember? (When you were there, it wasn't the "past." It was the "present.") All that is real is NOW. You have to make yourself a person that eats raw NOW. When you become that person, then you will eat raw always. You will eat raw when you are discouraged. You will eat raw when you are happy. You will eat raw when you are shaky and starving. Because all those times exist in the NOW, and you have become a person that eats raw NOW.

You see, when you are just a person that eats raw "tomorrow," then you are not eating raw EVER, because "tomorrow" never comes. When you get there, you find it is in fact TODAY, and you have demonstrated an inability to eat raw TODAY. Make any sense?

SO eat raw NOW. Right now! Do it now! And then in an hour, when an hour becomes NOW, eat raw again. This little secret fixes everything. You don't have to worry about forever, you ONLY have to fix this one little moment you live in right now. That in turn, fixes everything!

Eat raw NOW! :D

Cheers!
Eve

[gurudon]

Woh that sounds pretty deep. I hope your cooked self dont clobber your raw self. Anyways I hope things get better, and I wanna tell you im there myself, but i havent had 6 months of success yet. So, you are doing great dont be so hard on yourself. The living for now thing sounds cool. Anyways have some fun and cheer up :)

[Sharon in Colorado]

Why wait for July 1? Please consider turning it around this very minute.

Give us your word that you will start over right now.

There is no need to give yourself another cooked meal, let alone another cooked weekend.

You know you feel bad, and you will feel worse if you give yourself your 'last supper' and decide to binge on a bunch of junk that you know you really don't want.

You don't want to do that, correct?

So why wait? The moment after you finish reading this post, please start now. Doesn't matter if there's no fruit or veggies in the house. Drink a big glass of water and keep drinking until you get to the store. Eat a handful of nuts if you have to. There's something around that will keep you going.

You don't HAVE to start on the 1st of a new month.

You don't HAVE to start on a Monday.

You don't HAVE to start in the morning.

Give us your word you'll start now. No excuses. No social obligations. This is you and your life, so start right now, this very minute!

:) :) :)

[Eveleaf]

I like what Sharon had to say. Think of it this way:

You don't HAVE to start eating raw on the first. I'm giving you permission to keep eating cooked food forever. You ok with that?

No, you'd say, but I want to go raw.

You do? Why?

Because, you answer, I feel like crud. I feel so much better on raw foods. I want to get that health and vitality back.

OK then...do it now. If cooked food makes you feel nasty, then why insist on a few more days of that? Pfft. Get raw NOW.

:)

Eve

[RawFoodieMom]

I think all of us here have had times of struggle with raw and can really feel your disappointment. I was 100% raw for the first half of this month and slipped back into some cooked food. I was disappointed and frustrated, and I can only imagine what it must be like slipping after 6 whole months of being raw, but don't beat yourself up. This is 6 months compared to how many years/decades of SAD? I'm slowing learning to accept that I'm human and will make mistakes, and let me tell you, it's starting to make it easier to get back to raw quickly, and that's a great thing! :)

I've started another 30 day challenge for myself today, so if you're looking for someone to start TODAY with, you can email me any time, or we can start a thread on the challenge board and see who else is starting over or wants support. :)

Debra

[swingbolder]

Yeah, it's hard to get back, isn't it? That one meal turns into an excuse to blow the whole day then you rationalize why not one more day and the next thing you know, you've been eating cooked food for a week or more yet you CAN'T SEEM TO STOP. . . many of us have been there. I had a four-day bout like that myself in May.

The thing is though, you HAVEN'T undone your six months, it only feels like you have. Just make a new commitment and start eating raw RIGHT NOW. Don't wait till Saturday. Don't put yourself through 3 more days of guilt/grief and feeling lousy. And by Saturday you will be feeling much better. . .guaranteed. What a relief!

Look at it as a learning experience, bc that's truly what it is. And don't beat yourself up, please. Use that energy instead to prepare a nice smoothie, or green drink, salad, etc.

[lavendarJ]

I just want to say "ditto" to what everone else has said. I think that what Sharon and Swingbolder posted was very powerful and important - I can relate. You can start right this moment and you know what, if you eat something, recognize it, own it and then commit to yourself to act differently when the urge to continue this behavior rears its head again.

A lot of times, when I used to mess up in the middle of the week, I'd tell myself 'I might as well wait until Sun/Mon to start over'. I realize now that its about being aware of the behavior -why it happened and what I can do differently the next time around. Now, if I am planning and there is something that is significant for me, I purposely plan (as much as I can) on Wednesday. I do this on purpose because it is in the middle of the week and it forces me to get out of that "have to wait until Monday" mentality and I also do it because Wednesday is significant to me because it is my birth day (born on a Wednesday).

When I was in California, it was so frustrating being around my best friend. I love him like a brother but he just doesn't know how to support me in raw living let alone understand the journey I am attempting. He actually ordered $100 of dollars worth a food several nights a week from various SAD restaurants and even bought candy (one of my biggest temptations). I thought I was mentally prepared for his "that's not normal" mentality about raw living. I let his pressure get to me many times and I was like 'I'm in California, just go along with it and you can start over when you get back to Illinois'. Then I had to check myself and I had to make myelf accountable for my choices no matter what environment I am around. I mean even back home, no one in my family is even slightly interested in eating raw, let alone cutting out many of the unhealthy artery clogging SAD foods. At the end of the day, I am surrrounded by nonbelievers and so I have to know exactly what it is that I want for myself and make myself responsible for attaining and maintaining it. Don't beat yourself up, look out for the warning signs (stress, triggers or whatever it is that brings on the temptation).

Here is one last thing that I was thinking about... you have experienced 6 glorious months of raw living (I can't say that - not yet but I will). Swingbolder is right, it hasn't ended. That's special and beautiful. It is post like yours and everyone elses that inspires me to continue to strive for the life I want. Because through everyone's post I find a connection and experiences that I can relate to - and so that tells me that raw living is possible; I will do this. So you know what, it doesn't matter how confused or angry or disappointed you are right now because at the end of the day, you KNOW that you can do this. This is huge because it means you have transcended from just thinking or believing you can. You know from actual life experience that you can live raw. There a difference between just thinking something and actually knowing it and you KNOW it. In your own time, you will achieve 6 months 12 months, 2 years, 4, years, and on and on and on. It's your own unique experience for you to define.

Go ahead and be who you destined to be and give yourself a big hug in the high times and the low times, give yourself the same undestanding and support that you would give it were me or someone else in the struggle and remember that the struggle is what it is for that one moment that it is occuring, doesn't have to be ongoing and something that looms over you forever and forever. Life is one learning experience after another and so embrace the knowledge.

I'm wishing you a blessed and peaceful day :)

[Tombi]

Mindy,

First of all what a great job you did staying raw for 6 months!! So many people try and try and try again but somehow can not get that far in their journey. I say rawfully done! Secondly, please do not beat yourself up for what was your choice to act upon. It was your decision to eat cooked foods during your journey at one point. Just reconize it as a decision you made and now you are making ready to make another that will be more beneficial to you by picking up where you left off. Just do it and don't justifiy it. Besides you have done it before...so therefore there is no reason why you can not do it agian. Plant this thought in your mind and success will be yours. If your attitude is no where close to this it will be that much harder. Ask yourself do you want it to be harder?

Now let's get down to the real nitty gritty. You are not and have never been weak so there is no reason under the sun for you to feel weak. What is probably happening is (just a hunch on my part) you were having a hard time making up your mind about what you want for you and how you were going to go about getting what you want. The funny thing about this is...it probably has not a thing to do with food! What is going on in your life right now? (Ya don't hafta answer me...just ask yourself) Are you having to make new decisions about situations you are unfamiliar with? Are you in a state of confusion about something? Something/somebody bugging you? Or are you just surrounded by unfamiliarity, uncertainty and or confusion? Or was all this triggered by an emotional detox as you suggested? What's going on? Once you put your finger on whatever the problem maybe you will be able to move on alot easier.

Sometimes we emotional eaters use food as an excuse. Can you imagine how it is for many emotional eaters who start raw and can't get past that one issue? There are many. Read some of the post by those who get caught in the start/stop syndrome. This is what is happening and some realize it and sadly some do not. You are past this. Congradulations! Your issue is probably outside of food. I agree with you because after 6 months you already know what effects cooked food will have on you. So there must be something pretty serious going on that would gear you in the direction of doing something contrary to the foundation you have built for your health's sake.

So you have identified the fact that you newly aquired binge starts at lunch time and that you give yourself permission to continue with it for dinner. You also say that you are telling yourself that you need to eat something cooked. Nah ya don't need to...you wanted something cooked. Why? Ask yourself. Why do I feel I need something cooked to eat? Make sure you ask this before you eat. If your answer sounds like an excuse to you...please feel free to laugh at yourself because by then you truly know better than to use excuses to eat in a way that you already know is not beneficial for ya!!! That's right laugh at yourself. Open up, live up and laugh. Make sure it is a belly retching, loud sounding, slap your knee hard kinda laugh. Don't worry about it when people look at you funny...tell em you thought of a joke that someone told you and it was totally to silly to repeat. Just laugh!!! Laughter is just a theraputic as eating raw food and the both hand and hand makes the journey just that more enjoyable!!

Mindy the reason you may not have any energy and your face is not acceptable to you is because you are reversing what you have built up. So then it is natural that you will regain the weight and go back to all the other detrimental habits you dropped. But you already know this. As Iyanla Vanzant would say "Heal yourself!". She would then illustrate this by placing one hand across her forehead and one hand on the back of her head. When you do this it is equivalent of healing yourself or bringing the attention to the fact that you are thinking way too much!!! LOL

"I feel like I don't deserve to be happy now" Happy you may not be now but just imagine how happy you will be when you take it upon yourself to get up dust yourself off, take a deep breathe, put a smile on your beautiful face and tell yourself I going to do this again and this time it will be better then the last time...and you do it. Just do it. When all is said and done and you actually do do it, you will see that all it ever took to do it was to just do it. Get it! :D

"July 1st I am going to put everything I have into a new beginning. I am going to take pictures of myself tonight--hopefully that will inspire a change. Tomorrow I am going to focus on why I have been doing this--I mean really find a reason for the self-destruction, denial, hatred, & manipulation I have introduced to my life. I am thinking I may have started detoxing childhood memories like some people say you can and I didn't know how to handle it and this is what happened.
Maybe I should even seek counseling
I think this was my first step at moving forward, coming clean here. I am no longer in denial of my cooked love-affair but my soulmate (my raw self) has accepted what I have done but insists I come back to where I belong."

Now you are talking!!! Now that you have identified what could be causing the problem you now have to fully embrace the part of your journey that tells you raw food will help you with the problem. What an inspiration you will be for all us emotional eaters who are starting and those who have or may fall off the wagon!! You are totally rawsome!!!

Happy Journey Mindy! Thanks for sharing you with us!!
Ntombi

[Lay-Lay]

Take full advantage of this forum. I know for me it was a HUGE support system for getting me back on track. We all work on it together. Glad to have you back on the raw wagon. So put on your game face, make a smoothie and sit back and enjoy! And for goodness sake, HAVE FUN!

[Eveleaf]

I really like everyone's input on this. I just want to add one thing:

It is absolutely NOT necessary to completely understand your behavior before you can change it.

That's right!

Too many times we think we MUST analyze our actions completely and delve down deep into our subconsciousness and childhood hurts and so forth before we can make any positive changes.

Not true!

If you suddenly discovered yourself driving on the wrong side of the road down a freeway, which would you do first? A) Veer quickly back to the correct side of the road, or B) Figure out how you came to be on the wrong side in the first place?

Let's put this another way. Say your spouse steps on your foot by accident. You yell out "Ouch!" Which do you expect your spouse to do first? A) Get off your dang foot, or B) Analyze in detail how his foot came to be on top of yours in the first place?

Obviously, understanding your actions is not necessary to changing them!

Now, such understanding is enormously helpful, and can keep you from making the same mistakes over and over. BUT oftentimes real understanding will NOT appear UNTIL you've changed your behavior! Right the wrong FIRST, then true perspective and wisdom will appear and you will gain the understanding you lack today.

Know this: you have complete power to change your actions right now! You do NOT have to wait for inspiration or understanding or revelation! In fact, revelation MAY be waiting for you to move first! :D

Cheers,
Eve

[eabbel]

I am very grateful for this thread, because I ordered a domino's pizza last night and ate it until I couldn't stuff down another bite. of course I felt horrible about myself, not only because I felt I'd "undone" my great raw streak but because I don't even know if I'll have money to pay the rent and had no business spending money on poison for my body and mind.

the bit about how it's only ever "now" and not tomorrow or yesterday is exactly my problem -- I can never decide to be raw enough times, cause every moment is an opportunity to mess up. all evening long it was a smackdown between me and my pizza-craving demon. it wasn't enough to decide against pizza at 5pm, 5:15, 5:20, 5:22 and so forth -- I decided against pizza at least 500 times before I was exhausted from the struggle, the demon won, and as soon as I decided to get the pizza I felt relieved and calm and happy. until of course the pizza came and I ate it and then I felt horrible. this is a familiar pattern for me, for my whole life of binge eating. I give in to the binge just to end the struggle for a few minutes. why can't I just say "no" to the pizza one or two times? why a million times? cause it's always a new now. it's exhausting.

about a year and a half ago I thought perhaps the struggle itself was feeding the demon so I decided not to engage with it and just relax about food and body image and go with the flow and free my mind from the useless drama.

I gained fifty pounds.

so now I'm back in it, all day every day, an internal "pizza?" "no." "pizza?" "no" ad nauseam. (not always pizza, but you get the picture). maybe I need to go back on prozac -- that shut up the demons, but it shut me up too...

[Sharon in Colorado]

I agree with the over-analyzation of behavior. I was just discussing this with someone.

My husband is very disciplined and just "does it". He does not question why he got lazy one time or didn't follow through another. He just started doing what he needed to do again.

I think that self-driven people tend to skip the psycho-babble or why they did or didn't do something they were or weren't supposed to be doing. They just stop the bad behavior, and start the good behavior.

Sure, it is probably fine to figure out what caused you to stumble, just don't go out and take a class or buy a book on the subject and take all that time to research the 'whys' when you could be spending that same amount of time 'doing' it.

[Eveleaf]

Eabbel,

I've been there and I sympathize. The first time I tried to go raw it was like this. Have hope - the second time I tried to go raw (a few years later), I was at peace and the struggle now is next to none.

Can I just venture a guess that you don't really believe you are raw? If my nine-year old asked me at 5pm for pizza and I told him no, then he asked again at 5:15, I would say, "Why didn't you believe me the first time?"

Of course the answer could be, we've done this before, and the 20th time I asked I got it. So, Mom, what you taught me is that if I really want pizza, I just have to ask 20 times. :(

It might help to change your attitude about this. If you think about cravings as a "demon", see how you set yourself up to fail? A demon is SO much stronger than you, and you can never hold out long enough, eventually you will always lose, because it's a DEMON. Right?

How about if you view it instead as a bratty toddler wanting its way, but you are the strong parent that is so much stronger, older and wiser?

When you say "No" do it like you would, lovingly, to your inner toddler. "No, because I love you. No, but you can have this BETTER thing instead. No, and you'll understand some day why I say this. No, because this is what really makes us happy."

Feel your strength and enjoy it. You are the parent! :)

Cheers, :D
Eve

[Lay-Lay]

Eveleaf I loved your post!

[Larue]

I think this is a really important thread, because I don't think there is enough attention paid to the emotional issues that come up for so many of us when we go raw. This is a very big issue for me and something that I was totally unprepared for when I began to change my eating habits into a more raw way of life. And it's the thing that makes me feel like I need therapy every time I try to go 100% raw. It's not that SAD is addictive to me, it's that there are so many emotional attachments to giving it up. Even though I thought I dealt with these eating issues in the past, surprisingly they are even more crippling now. Whatever emotional pull, comfort ot attachment I have to SAD, it doesn't disappear with a peach or a plum. Many on this site may not be able to relate to this, but obviously there are plenty who can.

I see so many people who come to this site thinking raw food is the panacea for all that ails them; that it's a cinch to change from SAD and going cold turkey (bad analogy, I know!) to raw is a snap. And then we beat ourselves up for our inability to handle the demons that pop out of our psyche, because we're just not prepared for that.

What helps me is that I continue to love myself throughout the struggle, knowing this is a process. I don't believe I am bad or weak when I eat SAD, heck I have made great strides since October when I first heard about raw. I may not be able to go 100% raw in one day as many people here are, but my journey is unique to me as it is for each of us. It's good to work through my issues and demons. It is a relief to acknowledge them! I will like and know myself better through this whole process.

[Lay-Lay]

If I may suggest the book "You Can Heal Your Life" By Loiuse Hayes

It deals with the emotional aspects of healing. It is wonderful and helped me have many healing breakthrough. It is full of wonderful exercises to help you go through the process at your own pace.

[JinxieKat]

I really like everyone's input on this. I just want to add one thing:

It is absolutely NOT necessary to completely understand your behavior before you can change it.

That's right!

Too many times we think we MUST analyze our actions completely and delve down deep into our subconsciousness and childhood hurts and so forth before we can make any positive changes.

Not true!
<snip>



I just have to add my two cents to what Eve said. This just happened to me today. It was absolutely amazing. I'm still floating around in a pleasent state of peace because of it.

I found raw in February. I was on it for quite a while before I had my first 'cheat' .. then another.. then another. I am obese and have always had 'food issues'. I joined Raw Food Boot Camp and it has been a struggle. I have been there for two months and broke raw three times *ouch* Most recently was this past weekend when I found out that my mom most likely has breast cancer. Being the emotional eater that I am I ran back to what I knew, cooked comfort foods. It wasn't pretty.

So Monday I fessed up at Camp and started a cleanse. I'd been reading more on abundance and visulsation. Last night before I went to bed I kept repeating to myself, "I love myself, I accept myself, I forgive myself. I am beautiful, graceful, worthy of love and abundance." And while chanting that in my head I pictured how I want to look, all the fat gone, just a beautiful, fit woman.

To keep this somewhat short events happened that got me thinking in the car of how to convince my DH that 'things' do not make a person happy. While mulling this over it was like inspiration just smacked me upside the head and said 'Hey! Food cannot make you happy either'. Wow.. what a moment. Yes I knew this logically, but my heart and soul had never accepted it. Now, I've accepted it and I know I can be the beautiful person that I should be. I feel that I never would have come to this if I hadn't opened myself to the posibilites by accepting myself as who I am and loving myself and visualizing what I want. I didn't know the answers when I did it, but now I definately have one. It is very powerful!

Be raw, right now! You can do it!!!!! You have done it and you can again. Forgive yourself and move on. You deserve it!

Jinx

[mindelicious]

So I typed a response and it was lost....starting over.
Thank you all so much for your responses and sharing a piece of you. As I sat here and reread my post I started crying again and continuing with your replies made me cry even more because it really hit home or openly laugh because it is all so silly but so true. I am so glad I am here and even happier that all of you are here also.

I have not been in the best situation. I am over seas and my office is in a SAD snack bar because I have to stock and maintain it (yeah put the raw vegan in charge of buying our sodas & little debbie snack cakes-haha!!) The computers I use for personal stuff is in the chow hall which smells of clogged arteries and filled with disease infested individuals wolfing down mound of cooked garbage. The food I brought with me ran out a month ago, I can't find an online site to send me goji berries and items like that, and there aren't any health food stores on this island--let alone my beloved Whole Foods.

Yes Tombi, the man in my life has been bugging the crap out of me. see http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15167
But he is leaving today for two months, this will be a much needed break from the turmoil we have been causing in each others lives. I have been working with a new group of individuals and I have had to deal with their questions/harrasment about my lifestyle and it has been unbearable.

This mess has brought feelings of hostility I have never experienced before. The computer was taking so long to load I seriously almost picked it up and threw it--I would have if it was mine and there were not other people sitting around me. Where is this coming from??

The past two weeks has been all about food, from the moment I wake until I go to bed, before I go to work, when I get there, when I leave. My thoughts are only with what will I "indulge" into next? It is like when I was a teenager and I would purposely break every rule my parents would make to piss them off and to see how much I could get away with. I grew up and realized how unknowing and childish I was, so I need to do that now.

Eveleaf- thank you so much for the toddler analogy--it is so true
Eabell-I ate almost a whole pizza too--and I had rancid decaying nightmares!!
Larue that is such a great point, thank you for relating!!
Sharon- I give you my word I am starting RAW NOW!!
I am going to gorge on melons, take a walk, go to the gym and sit in the sauna (which is free and I have not used it because I was punishing myself for eating cooked--silly but true!!) and then I will run two miles later (which I usually do on a daily basis but only twice in the past two weeks) Hopefully this will help release a lot of the emotions I have been suppressing.

So if you have been dealing with a similiar situation-- i am wiping the tears away, taking a deep breath, and going raw---not now but right now!! So whos coming with me. I am going to post my pics in my journal later today and begin the challenge--no not a challenge--MY JOURNEY BACK
So hopefully you guys could check my journal every once in awhile and smack me around a bit if I am slacking.

HUGS TO ALL

[Tombi]

One Love Mindy!!! We know you can do it and so do you.

Ntombi

[Coriander74]

We all slip up from time to time, welcome to being a human! Hang tough, you know you've done it before you will do it again!!!

[spicyfull]

Hang in there...........

[Sharon in Colorado]

Sharon- I give you my word I am starting RAW NOW!!



Hooray! We'll hold you to it!

**and if you slip up again, just come back here and we'll set you straight, we all need this trust me! ** ;)

[Sylvanring]

I know how to dissapointing it can be to have goal and not be able to stay as perfect as you want to be within that goal. It is a form of perfectionism.

I really believe that in order to live a healthy eating lifestyle that enjoyable and long standing, you must celebrate the times you are 'imperfect'. For example, when you fall from your perfect diet. You should look upon each day as something nice that happened instead of bad.

Yes, perhaps you ate cooked food, and it may have not been the healthiest way of eating, but the moments you had enjoying the food that you had is not so sinful! You enjoyed the food, it is not the best way of eating, but so what, we all have moments where we go outside the box we have created for ourselves.

Ultimately for your health it is not something you should do often. But when you do, enjoy it. Celebrate how much fun it was. Then celebrate how much fun it is to go back to raw. All foods should be celebrated in my opinion whether it be cooked or raw. Just some show be eaten more rarely if possible.

It is more damaging to you to beat yourself up over it. You are not powerless when you have a piece of pizza or a cigarette, you are a human being who at times decides to do that type of thing. You are powerful because you can move onwards and not obsess about it.

[Lay-Lay]

You can do it!

[MendhiGrl]

Hi Mindelicious - be gentle with yourself. If you eat cooked, you're not wasting the raw food, you're just having a "raw chaser." It's better to have some raw than no raw - this is not all or nothing. Start by making some yummy raw foods and deserts so you will feel like you're getting full, complete meals.

If childhood memories are getting stirred up and you're considering counseling, please go. There is much you can't figure out on your own, you'll need help and a therapist can provide that. I've been wondering how my own stuff will be stirred up when I detox, but I know my therapists are just a phone call (and appointment) away so I won't have to deal with the big stuff on my own.

Some of the childhood stuff is big, and you don't have to deal with it on your own. Hang in there - it's rough, but it's worth it.

MendhiGrl

[rawpriestess]

Please know, that I've been 100% RAW for 100+days, and it wasn't easy, I can tell you that, but it was so much easier this time than the last time, or the time before that.


there is NO failure, unless you quit, if you keep going, it's just feedback of what NOT to do the next time.

I went raw 5 years ago for 3 weeks, took me 4 years to get back to 100% raw, much longer than your two weeks, then I was raw for two months, then off raw then on then off, for months and months, before I finally got back to 100% raw 100% of the time.

just know that today is the only day you have, there is no past, and no tomorrow, all you have is today, to do anything, oh, it's okay to plan for the future, but live for today, and if you "feel" better eating raw, then eat raw today, not tomorrow, or any other day, just today, just eat good healthy, loving and living food today, and you will feel great today, and if you want to you can do it tomorrow, and feel even better, and then that becomes today, and on and on it goes, so just look at today.

[Sharon in Colorado]

How's it going mindelicious - are you back on track now?