What are we truly afraid of that needs to be addressed to be successful?

[sunshinesioux]

As rawpriestess started the "I dare you" thread to make people realize what it is about their body that needs to be loved. I dare all of us to really ask ourselves "what am I afraid of by going 100% raw?". This is a huge issue brought out in Alissa's book that can't be overlooked. If this fear isn't addressed, it will drive us unconsciously back to SAD lives!

So I'll start: By going 100% raw, I'm afraid:

1)That my boyfriend and I will drift apart because so much we do revolved around going to restaurants and having nice little drinks with each other. I'm afraid of becoming someone he doesn't recognize anymore in interests and everything we've just grown to do together. I'd hate for that gap to happen. Everyone else will just seem more attractive to him by being "fun living the american way". I didn't realize how much this fear is making me have one foot in and one foot out while beginning this journey. I know men come and go...but he's truly the one (friend for 16 years before dating...that's rare).

2) I'm afraid that holidays, especially Christmas that I adore and love so much won't be the same without making the hot chocolates and ginger bread houses and all of those cute things I do every year for myself and other people.

3) I'm just afraid of always feeling isolated no matter what friends i'm with. I don't want to be that pain in the ass person who "can't go here or there, or won't join in, with comments of "oh she won't eat this 'cause it's not "organic"...chuckle chuckle behind my back.

4) I'm afraid of becoming amazing on raw food...just to watch it be taken away in the blink of an eye because everything else i've ever done has never remained so. Having no success seems better than tasting the gold and waking up back in the mud. (The smarter side of me remembers "without failures there is no success). But the latter still haunts me!!

5) I'm sure I'm afraid of more...but these are the main ones!! How about the rest of you? Some fears may be the same and solutions and resolutions are needed!!! : )

Let's do it!!
SunshineSioux

[ljannise]

I have a really silly fear that I'll live like Norman Walker & Hubbs wont be there to enjoy it with me. I kinda feel like what's the point of doing it if I'll be so ALONE???

I have a feeling ppl might find this thread kinda hard to take, esp if they are new & still very vulnerable. Let's take tis stuff lightheartedly, ok girlies? It's to vent & get things out. Not to hinder progress!!

[sebert2]

I think this will be a good thread. I hope a lot of people post. It might help me realize what I am fearing.

When I saw this thread, I knew that I must be afraid of something because I can't seem to stay raw. I will try to get in touch with my inner self and have a talk. Maybe I'll learn something.

In the meantime, I would really like to hear of other people's fears, and maybe how they overcame them.

[Raw Alessandra]

1) I do fear Christmas; it was always such a wonderful time! And food played a very big part.

2) I am afraid of being a out cast.

3) I am afraid of giving up my favorite comfort foods, food has ALWAYS been my life.

4) I am afraid of being healthy. Does that make sense? I think I cushion myself from the world with my extra weight.

[Pailani]

I'm afraid that I'll evolve into a pure, simple way of eating like most raw foodists seem to do - and then I won't be able to eat after 7pm.

Silly, I know - especially since, when I started this, I was so desperate to feel better that, in my mind, I gave up eating altogether - I set myself in my mind to never eat again, if that's what it took. But now, the thought of not being able to snack in the evenings is kind of scary, it feels like a huge, vacant hole looming in my future. What will I do with all those hours and no snacks? I remember giving up TV in the evenings felt like a vacant hole for the first week, but it got better, so I know I can adjust. And I don't have to do it until I'm ready, but right now, just the thought of it turns me off to the concept of a pure, simple raw diet. So I try not to think about it. :p

[sunshinesioux]

Thanks for all of the input so far! I really do think that as much as we should enjoy the process and keep it "light" and fun, it is important to scratch the deep surface and figure out what holds us back from going full throttle!! Better to address the issues now than have them creep up after such a long, beautiful journey!

Also, if we know what we're afraid of...we can find solutions now!! For example, the holidays seems to be a fear for most people. The thought of "will it feel the same?"...so start brainstorming now what it is that u like about the holidays...and like cravings...find raw substitutions to make! Think ahead of holiday raw menu's, art projects, ACTIVITIES, to make the celebration even better! And think about that beautiful outfit you'll fit into to dance all around in!! Ha! I just cleared up one of my fears!! Your turn!!

[ElainaThiemann]

I am afraid to give up my food addiction. The last time I went completely raw, it was scary. I don't think I am afraid to give up the cooked foods themselves, but the addiction to them. Addictions are comfortable because they are reliable. I also think that I wasn't successful in the past because I was trying to change one addiction for another. I was trying to make raw food my new addiction. Whenever I wanted to make a choice that wasn't raw, I felt that I was cheating. I think I am also afraid to face life without the filter of an addiction. I feel thinks very deeply and am afraid to feel them full force.

Elaina

[rawpriestess]

I am afraid to give up my beliefs of who I am.

I am afraid of giving up that part of me that reminds me of my mom. (weight)

I am afraid of living longer than my son and grandkids and my beloved Dragggon.

[Lay-Lay]

I am afraid of being happy.

I am afraid of the security of being healthy.

I am afraid of life without my mom and dad there.

[Boz]

**I'm afraid of how my family will react to my choice to maintain a raw lifestyle.
I was a vegetarian when I was 15-16 and my doctor and parents forced me to eat meat for "health" reasons. So when I decided to go raw I wasnt a vegetarian, but I stopped eating meat cold turkey and I still have not told my parents (they live 3500 miles from me so they dont see what i eat everyday)


**I'm afraid that I'm not going to lose weight and feel super healthy to the point where I'll feel like I sacrificed alot to take up this lifestyle (although we know it's not the truth)

**I'm afraid to eat in front of others because I'll look crazy eating 4 bananas for lunch.

**I'm afraid to even bring up the discussion of raw foods because I have like 30 lbs to lose and I fear someone will ask me why I am fat when I all i eat is fruit and salad.

**I'm afraid of social situations with extended family because: we eat. plain and simple, i'm middle eastern and going to a dinner party and not eating can be a bit rude in the eyes of the host.

**I'm afraid i'll put so much time and effort (ex: by coming to these boards, preparing my meals, and reading raw books) that it will affect my school and I'll miserably fail at everything I've worked hard for.

**I'm moving to san francisco soon and I'll need to sell my car, and I'm afraid that I wont have access to markets where I can get enough good produce on a college student's budget.

**I'm afraid of feeling as sick and gross as I have for most my entire life from the dozens of food allergies, and just overall consumption of the wrong foods for my body. And for some reason I fear that those feelings will come back even after eating raw foods. When I was eating "accordingly" with the guidance of my doctor, I was on a rotation diet beucase I was told that when you eat the same thing over and over, your body gets used to it and thats how intolerances are created. So I was told that if i eat something today, then I can eat it again within the next 24 hours, but after that I should wait 72 hours before I eat it again. On raw I eat close to the same thing on a daily basis, so I'm scared those issues will arise again.


So thats about it for the moment, I'm sure Ill have more later.

:confused:

[Tirza]

I am mostly afraid of the social challenges.

We never did go to restaurants much but we do go out to friends for meals. Since our children are away from home now, it is almost the only social outlet I have. We are Jewish, so we face this dilema TWICE EVERY WEEK on Friday night and Saturday, SEVERAL times a year on the major Jewish holidays, and every time there is a baby born, a bar mitzvah, a wedding, a funeral etc. The major focus on all of these occasions is FOOD! Traditional Food! Heavy, starchy, sweet, fatty, meaty COOKED food with hardly a raw thing in sight. Yikes!

I feel stupid being intimidated about this, as one of my main reasons for adopting this diet is because I recently had a bout with cancer. How much more motivation does one need? I need to clean my body out, I need to lose weight, I need to eat lots of anti-oxidants to protect my cells from further invasion.

As for your traditional foods that make holidays so memorable: I am trying to find viable substitutions that are close to at least some of our special 'comfort' foods. I know that you can hardly replace a big turkey, but there are possibilities for lots of things, even gingerbread houses and "warm" chocolate.

I am making out a basic menu of the SAD holiday foods and putting suggestions beside each item as I find recipes that might work. We should start a string for posting suggestions for the traditional foods, for whatever holiday. That way we won't feel so far out of the loop.

Having said all that, I feel like kind of a wimp. Lots of people have dietary restrictions and no one ostracizes them for it. There are diabetics, heart patients, people with colitis or crohn's, etc. They all HAVE to stay away from certain things. They have to improvise. We should be able to as well.

Could it be that we also secretly look on this diet as a fad or eccentricity? Surely not! Why then are we so sensitive? We don't have to be obnoxious about it. People are more anxious to accomodate others these days than ever before.

I'll let you all know if/when I come up with a comfortable solution.

[juliebove]

I don't see why I should be afraid of anything in terms of eating raw food. But then I have diabetes and food allergies so I am already limited as to what I can eat on holidays or any other time. I also have a very non-traditional family. We do not have any family traditions when it comes to holidays. Each year is different.

Nobody is upset with me for eating the way I do. I still go out to eat and often to the same restaurants I've always gone to. If I stop going to a place it's usually not because of me but because of my daughter who has even more food allergies than I do.

That being said, I've been a vegetarian for most of my life. More recently a vegan because of the food allergies. I've always eaten a lot of raw food. This is the way I was raised. Perhaps partially from necessity. There were times where we weren't exactly wealthy. We grew our own vegetables and some fruit. This saved money. We had meatless meals several times a week because we couldn't afford meat. And my mom hated to cook! So the more she could make that didn't have to be cooked, the better.

We did dine out a lot when I was a child. In those days, salad bars were very common. If there was a salad bar, that is usually what I'd have for dinner. That and nothing else. The rest of my family often did the same. It's the kind of food we like! No we were not 100% raw. But we certainly weren't like some of the families I've seen mention of here who eat only cooked food. Even my grandparents ate a lot of raw food. My paternal grandma was raised on a farm and was used to eating this way. My maternal grandparents still ran a farm and much of what they ate came straight from their garden. Most of the pictures I have of my grandpa show him with a knife in one hand and something like a turnip in the other hand. He'd go pick things and cut them up for us kids to eat. I also remember him peeling onions and eating them out of hand like apples.

[MendhiGrl]

I'm afraid that I'll evolve into a pure, simple way of eating like most raw foodists seem to do...

Yes - me too!

[Mical]

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?
You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’

- Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles

I am afraid of being beautiful.
I am afraid of being attractive to men.
I am afraid of my power.
I am afraid of loving myself so fully and wildly that I have no more excuses to hold back.
I am afraid to write my story.

[DavidZaneMason]

How about:

-I am afraid that without the slow vibrational distraction of heavy cooked foods moving through me.....I will have no excuse for not pursuing my dreams!

-Or simply: I am afraid of failure....which is the dark shadow of not pursuing my dreams.

-David Mason

[RawFoodieMom]

Ummm.. Okay, just remember you asked for it! LOL! :o

This is a great idea though, I really need to do this. Some will be the same as others, some maybe not. I won't blame you if you don't read all of it... :o

- I'm afraid of failing yet again, for the zillionth time. I don't think I can handle any more disappointment in myself. I think I'm already at rock bottom. If I fail again, I think I will get deeply depressed. It will be the last straw. I think this is it for me, do or die. I know in my heart that raw is the answer, but there is still that nagging reminder that I never finish anything I start... ever. I have several chapters of different novels that I started and quit because I was afraid to finish.

- I'm afraid of being successful and happy. I'm afraid of how much that will change my life and everything that I know. At least, my life the way it is now (chaotic, unorganized and lazy) is predictable. I've never been the type of person that likes surprises, I hate surprises, I have to know what's going on at all times. My husband even tells me before we go when he's taking me somewhere special because I just can't handle not knowing. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy because of the way I live my life. I think I'm a good Mom, but I don't like my disorganized house, and that I'm not always completely reliable, and the fact that I don't have many friends. I push people away consistently. I've been hiding behind my weight. I guess I'm afraid that if they get to know me, they won't like me for the same reasons that I don't like myself? :( I dunno, I think I'm a nice person, I like to help people, and there's no reason I shouldn't have friends, but for some reason, when others reach out to me, I shy away. :( This is one thing I hope will change, but I'm afraid that I'll never figure out how to get to the other side of this.

- I'm afraid of telling other people about raw. I'm afraid that if I tell them why I'm eating raw I will indirectly be telling them that what they eat is garbage, and I'll be insulting them.

- I'm afraid of feeling like not fitting in during social situations and feeling deprived that others are eating and I'm not. I'm afraid of others making me feel bad about being raw, even if they don't mean to, by not understanding why I eat the way I do.

- I'm afraid of detox, emotional and physical.

- I'm afraid of having to come to grips with everything I've been doing wrong in my life and letting go because I'm overweight and hating myself for it.

I know there's more, but I'm too upset now to go on. :(

Debra

[RawFoodieMom]

Okay, I just needed to get that out of my system, I'm going to think about solutions to all of these fears we have. ;)

[DrBulldog]

My only real fear is that I'll lose the muscle I worked so hard to gain over the past 25 years or so. I'm 40 now and gaining muscle isn't all that easy and lots of people my age are losing muscle, so me taking this step now has me fearful that I'll lose muscle that I won't be able to get back. I'm only eating raw fruits and vegetables, no nuts or seeds, so keeping calories up is rough.

And there you have it, in a nutshell...well, in a banana skin!

[Rawkinlocs]

My only real fear is that I'll lose the muscle I worked so hard to gain over the past 25 years or so. I'm 40 now and gaining muscle isn't all that easy and lots of people my age are losing muscle, so me taking this step now has me fearful that I'll lose muscle that I won't be able to get back. I'm only eating raw fruits and vegetables, no nuts or seeds, so keeping calories up is rough.

And there you have it, in a nutshell...well, in a banana skin!

DrBulldog,

Have you seen Storm Talliferno? Might consider checking out his ebook on muscle building - http://thegardendiet.com/aboutmuscle.html - as well as some of our own members here (Fruitarianone, TGlasco, Seasiren, Rawfigure, and some others! :) Check the "Exercise Forum" and look for a thread entitled, "My Workout" or something like that. There are also some threads in the Exercise Forum that have links to various raw-vegan body builders.

[DrBulldog]

Thanks yet again for your help!

[scott]

DrBulldog,
Only to expand on Rawkinlocs great post and ideas, I believe Fruitarianone eats almost 100% fruit - no nuts, nor seeds - and he's looking pretty pumped up, so you shouldn't be anxious about your approach. If you're worried about the protein, don't. Just be 100% RAW.

Scott

[Green Life]

I'm too afraid to think about it ! :o


Green Life

[beckyb]

I was thinking today, while looking in the mirror, about this thread and
what was I really afraid of....

Then I thought, No, its what I'm afraid of if I DON"T stay raw:

Puffy eyes
Weight Gain
Eyes Dull/not blue
lack of creativity
sickness - low immune system

and the list goes on and on.....

I went to dinner the other night with my husband and friends. The whole
dinner, people were trying to get me to eat stuff. My DH, who does not
eat Raw, was constantly saying "She won't eat that, she want eat that,
oh, no, not that..." It really got to be funny... I did feel like the joke was
on me, but I can laugh at myself too!!

[lissomllama]

I'm afraid, no, terrified of outliving my precious husband and my friends and family etc.

[Shan]

Yes I'm afraid of being thought of as the 'alternative-thinking-tree-hugging-weirdo', but I'm more afraid of something even more superficial. I'm afraid that even after I lose the 100 or more pounds that I need to, I still won't look beautiful and that my body with be ugly in a different way (saggy and stretch marks really visible). I'm afraid that I'll never have a 'peak' in my life where I'll be young and beautiful at the same time. I know it's vain, but I've never had it and I want it even if it's only for one year in my life.

[Pailani]

Judging from your picture, Shan, I'd say you already are young and beautiful!

[rawfigure]

hmmm...interesting thought. I have pondered this all evening as I am working here at my desk late into the night and I had to come back to post.

I do not think in term of fear. :confused: I think of what is my Challenge.

[aromaticwings]

Ok I deleted what I wrote before as I did not read this whole thread..sorry... so here are My fears:

time will run out..... my fear is I will die before I lose the weight I want to lose. Just turning 50

I fear I will believe the negative thoughts that run through my head at times when staying raw.

I fear not caring what people think of me and I get rude to people when they worry or question my actions.

I fear not keeping enough raw foods in the house to continue being raw. (seems I go good for four or five days then I have nothing in the house or only SAD foods for hubby. would be great time to fast.. :D

I fear fasting I do not want to do it wrong.

I fear the detox the most I think. I do not want to go through a seizure again and I fear there will come a time in the going backwards thing with detox that one will hit at a very bad moment. I guess this is why I make excuses for the junk food once in a while to slow the detox down. But now I have read that it could hurt the body more by bouncing back and forth.

I fear I will not do raw correctly and hurt myself more then help myself.

And last but not least.. I am with Sham with worry about how the skin will be. I do not want to lose too fast and have extra skin hanging.

I do not care what my man thinks or feels of me doing raw. I am doing this for me and if he does not like me more slender and healthy then I will find someone who does.. Or enjoy life without him doing the things I WANT to do instead of the things HE wants to do. I will have more freedoms. I will be happier and healthier and anyone who LOVES me will care about that aspect.. not their own selfish wants fears or needs.

I hate to say it but.. we can only think of ourselves. and it is only US that will put ourselves FIRST. so pooo on anyone who wants to put me down. Don;t knock it til you try it I tell them. :D
Guess I ahve had too many changes in my life to worry about what others think anymore...I am ready for big changes.

[wizz4ve]

Fear is the overwhelming pulling of one's self into negative territory. We lend our mind, bodies and souls to negativity everytime we allow fear to overcome our desires.

I Too Fear Being 100% Raw

I fear
losing weight
losing pain
growing strong
clearer mind
softer poise

I fear
accomplishing the 30 day challenge
not completing the 30 day challenge
hitting a wall and running out of likeable menus

I fear
being different than who my husband married
outsiders' expectations of me growing

I fear not being able to live the life I set in place, to achieve the goals I planned for this race, to close old doors and open new ones, to look at others and see me through their eyes, to learn to love the me I have become.

I fear that which has no true power over me and yet, still I fear!!!

I fear this overwhelming desire to drink diet soda will never go away

[Shan]

Judging from your picture, Shan, I'd say you already are young and beautiful!

Thanks Pailani, I appreciate that. I don't think my face is ugly, but my size 22 body is. I've never known what it's like to be a normal size. I've never been a regular size. I don't want to be too skinny... size 12 would be nice. But I would love to once in my life be able to look NICE in a bathing suit. I'm just worried now that I've damaged my body so much that I'm still going to have a bunch of hanging skin. But really this is all superficial stuff. If I'm healthy and happy that should be good enough for me. Thanks for your vote of confidence though :)

[Linda1970]

I do not think in term of fear. :confused: I think of what is my Challenge.

Thanks....this is a great way of viewing things.

[akh78749]

I am afraid of isolation. Most of my social life revolves around restaurants and bars. Since I quit drinking at bars, I no longer see most of my friends.

I am afraid since I I don't know anyone where I live that is raw, that I will become isolated and bored and only have me to entertain myself. I am afraid of boredom.

I am afraid I will become resentful at restuarants when I see people eating my old favorite foods. It has already happened. I have been avoiding eating out with people because I few times I went to restaurants that lacked raw food or had unnappealing salads.

Despite my fears, I know being raw is what is right for me. It is what I have to do because I have never felt better in my whole life. No more anxiety, no more depression. I will take the smaller issues over being depressed, miserable and anxious anyday.

And I am sure there are ways to deal with these issues in a positive way.

[sunshinesioux]

I am so thrilled reading every single one of these posts. Its amazing how much we all had to share regarding our fears going raw! Now its up to us to find solutions to these fears so that they never get the better of us!! Thank you all so much for such wonderful input!!

[aromaticwings]

after this thread we will need a thread that gives us suggestions or solutions on getting rid of our fears..

[Wendee]

----------------------------------------

[cassidy]

Wow, sunshine, what you said about you and your boyfriend is exactly why I wanted to contribute to this post. That is my biggest fear as well. The only difference is I'm married. I am afraid of changing SO much. We started out drinking, smoking and going out to eat a lot. Now, I have stopped all of it and trying to be 100% raw. We seem so different from eachother now. I am afraid of us not changing together. But we'll just have to work it out! He'll change eventually. He knows he needs to. He is very afraid of change.
also afraid of:
Failing
Hollidays and vacations
Feeling like a hippocrit when I do have cooked food

[D'vorah]

I've lost credibility, I've gone on and off of McDougall and raw, people have seen me looking healthier, people have seen me put it all back on, people have seen my compulsive reach for chocolate and SAD junk.

People don't think I'm stupid when I'm not trying, they think I'm stupid when I am.

I'm afraid of looking stupid.
I'm afraid of doing well and THEN failing.
I'm too, too, too concerned about what others think.
I'm not nearly concerned enough about what I think.

I've got it all backwards.

Deborah

[aromaticwings]

me too Deb

[Pailani]

Another fear - I'm afraid that it won't work for me, that I'll do this for six months and not get the results I read about, that I'll still be dragging and lethargic. And once you've gone to a way of eating as extreme as raw and it doesn't work, what's left? I'd have to despair of ever feeling better.

I've been 100 percent raw for almost 40 days, and while I've seen some aches and pains disappear, I still don't have the energy I came here for.

[m_pizzano]

Well, I just wrote a few paragraphs on my fears and then remembered the movie that I just saw on the laws of attraction the other day. I would include the link but somehow it dissapeared from the internet :-( If I find it again I will pass it on.

But anyway, it said that being afraid creates our fears to happen so instead I'm going to write (in the present tense) what I would like my life to be and if you think that would help you with your fears, you can try it too!

I am a beautiful, healthy, 100% raw woman who is in a supportive marriage with a spouse who also eats raw and we have fun together every day. We spend time with people who understand our lifestyle.

I am working at a job that gives me so much satisfaction, pays fairly, and is low stress.

ok, I have to go but will think of more later! I'm also trying to keep a journal where I write all of these things down.
Peace, Marisa

[Revvell]

It's always good to express fears as they need to come out and be exposed rather than suppressed. Once exposed then one can begin focusing on what one wants, not what one doesn't want. Creates balance.

Revvell