Should You Keep Your Big Goals To Yourself?

[akh78749]

Or should you share them with those closest to you? I have some ideas about changing my life. There are things I really want to do and have always wanted to do. But I am afraid of the negative reactions I will get from my family, boyfriend, etc. I am afraid they will try to discourage me. But by not telling them, I am also afraid if they think it is a good idea, I will be missing out on the support they might give me.

I guess you could say I haven't had a whole lot of positive reinforcement in my life when it comes to my dreams. I feel like I am on a good track and don't want to be discouraged from the path I am on.

I just wonder if I shouldn't try and achieve my goals on my own without anyone else's input.

Any advice on this?

[Rawdiva]

Hi,

I usually keep my goals to myself. The experience that I have had when telling anyone, is that their energy, doubt or whatever almost always stopped the positive energy or momentum of my goals. I have also noticed that what I put my attention on manifested much faster when I kept my goals to myself.

The second half of this for me has been to surround myself with people who are going to uplift me and encourage me to grow and with love.

Good luck and take care.

[RowanC]

There is power in the spoken word.
When you SAY something out loud, you are creating it.

I am a person with $400 per month income maximum and I'm flying to Europe to walk for 3 months. How did this happen? I dreamed it, I said, "I'm GOING to do it!" and God or the Universe or whatever you call the higher power is manifesting it... right into my lap. My airfare is donated, my expenses are donated in exchange for carrying intentions, and I'm leaving August 9. Why? Because I believed it could happen.. so it IS!

I have 3 sons. Two are VERY supportive of this venture.
One is not. He says, "I can't figure out how, if you're so poor and have so little money, you can justify spending what you have on a trip like this one." He just doesn't understand that you MUST follow your heart. If not, what is life about? Why live?

My father was a dreamer. He could manifest whatever he wanted. He went off to the Caribbean to dive for treasure, he went to Europe, he did what he wanted to do.. always. I remember people saying, "He should settle down and get a job and be responsible!" Then he and my 15 year old brother were killed in a plane crash. My father was only 36 when he died. And at his funeral the very same people said, "Gee, isn't it great that he got to do all of those adventures!?" People are fickle.

So, in that light, I'd say you should talk to people who are SUPPORTIVE about it.

BUT... I'd steer clear from people who I'm sure are going to try to crush my dreams. Don't cast your pearls before swine, in a manner of speaking.

Just talk to those who will support you.
Let the others wonder why you're so happy.... ;)
In the end, you won't be sitting in your rocking chair, saying sadly, "I wish I had gone ahead and ..........."

[Lay-Lay]

I agree with Rowan all the way.

I have had a dream for a long time and recently shared it with my husband and he said he would love to do that too. I told my parents about it and they said go for it.

Now my dream is also my husbands and someday we will make it a reality. Our goal is to sell our home and quit our jobs and travel the world on foot. The only thing holding us back right now is we both want children and we think we should wait until we have our babies and they get a little age on them at least.

I dido Rawan totally.

[lane]

my two "big" goals (the ones i have had for years- though more sprout up every day :) ) are to build a very modest cob/straw bale hybrid home and to publish one of the many manuscripts collecting dust in this room. my family is very supportive about the writing- not so about the cob building. unfortunately (because i am so close to my family and would love to share more) if i have an idea that is semi "normal"- i tell them- if it is "out of the box" so to speak- and most are- i keep it to myself and surprise them. the people that you care about most have a strong influence over your thinking and actions- regardless of whether you think you let them.
cc

[dreamrawalwz]

I guess it depends on what the dream is and how the person has reacted previously. For me I have come to the conclusion that I can not share my dreams to those around me anymore. Whatever dreams (long term, short term, easy, or hard) I share they immediately get shot down with a "but you have to do this..." or "don't think so high..." or I just get the smirk and eye roll with "yea right, that'll never happen" look. One day I'll follow my dream and prove them wrong. At the moment I want to travel the world. I also want to go to all 50 states. I've been to 10 countries outside of the US...that's just the start!

[Revvell]

My husband is one I can share anything with. He supports me totally and will find ways for assisting me in manifesting whatever I want to do ~ or something better.

You might wish to read the "abundance" thread on this site and also read "the One Minute Millionaire" which addresses this issue. Personally, I only surround myself w/ people who support me in my aliveness. I look for people who are willing to dream and take action. I assist people in taking action on their dreams AFTER ascertaining that it's really something they want. Sometimes they need to shift things slightly to make it just right. Thing is, if you don't at least take SOME action, you wont find out whether it's right for you or not.

As far as telling people, if you go to tribe.net or myspace.net (com?) there are lots of people who may also be interested in doing what you are doing. Just like here. This board is in support of those who wish to be raw vegan.
There are other boards for folk who wish to become writers, publish books, become RE investors, go hot air balooning, etc. There is also meetup.com. There's a meetup for just about everything and if you can't find one in your area, then start one.

For me, when I return to SoCal, I'll be starting an investment group ~ or 2 or 3; inviting financial consultants in to tell us what they do; find out if they are good for which folk, etc. It's all good and it's all about fun. :)

Revvell

[Rawdiva]

RowanC, did I tell you Congrats on your trip? Well Congratulations, what a fun adventure!! And what a wonderful way to manifest. I love it. When are going?

[rawpriestess]

Well, before I met Dragggon, I didn't tell anyone about my goals, I wrote them down, and read them, I said them out loud, and I visualized them, but I didn't dispurse my energy, by telling people, nor did I wish to have anyone who meant well, to help me, by trying to stop me from attempting anthing they thought wasn't in my best interest, like quitting my job, or painting full time, or selling one of my investment houses, etc.


But now that I had Dragggon who I totally trust, I tell him everything, there is nothing that I don't tell him, he is totally supportive of me and all of my desires.

So, we talk about everything, and he is a wonderful being to always give me great encouragement and support in all of my endeavors.

[RowanC]

RowanC, did I tell you Congrats on your trip? Well Congratulations, what a fun adventure!! And what a wonderful way to manifest. I love it. When are going?

Thanks!
Well, I leave for Europe on August 9 and will be beginning my 850+ kilometer trek around the 28th of August. We'll walk 6 to 8 weeks. I'll return November 1.

People have been so supportive.
I really feel blessed.

[akh78749]

Thank you all for all the responses. I have had parents that were usually trying to discourage me from doing things that make me happy. They didn't think my ideas were practical often times. I am sure some of them weren't. But I needed to learn that on my own. What I have learned is that I am just very different than them.

I am trying to listen to myself more. I have been doing what Raw Priestess mentioned in her post. Doing a lot of writing and asking for what I want.

I think I will follow all of your advice. I think I will only tell the people that I think will be supportive. I won't tell those that I think might criticize. At least not right away. I really don't need the negative vibes coming from people right now when my ideas are so fresh and my emotions regarding them still vulnerable.

Thank you.

[shakti17]

only tell the people that you KNOW will be supportive! ;)

[Lady Green Jeans]

akh78749,

Looks like you've already gotten great feedback! I have the dream of going to Alissa's training. It has not left me and I am actively taking steps to make this happen. I did share this with three people in my lift--important people. They all shot it down for various reasons. They have not supported me in the past so I don't know what I was expecting, but I am reinforced within myself to do whatever is necessary to make it reality.

RowanC--great advice. Will be printing this to remind myself. I need to have the inner strength no matter who outside may criticize. Following my heart seems to feel so very right.

akh, my advice would be to follow your dream. I have looked back and realized how many I let slip by due to the negative feedback I recieved. Sad that I don't have anyone in my life save myself to be upbeat and happy in the choices.

[asil]

Well, before I met Dragggon, I didn't tell anyone about my goals, I wrote them down, and read them, I said them out loud, and I visualized them, but I didn't dispurse my energy, by telling people, nor did I wish to have anyone who meant well, to help me, by trying to stop me from attempting anthing they thought wasn't in my best interest, like quitting my job, or painting full time, or selling one of my investment houses, etc.


But now that I had Dragggon who I totally trust, I tell him everything, there is nothing that I don't tell him, he is totally supportive of me and all of my desires.

So, we talk about everything, and he is a wonderful being to always give me great encouragement and support in all of my endeavors.

To me, this approach is key. You know the people around you -- who is open to big dreams, who is more cautious, who is hopeful, who is pesimistic. So share with those you're sure will "get it." Otherwise, dream your happy dream, write things down, talk positively to yourself. I love to fall asleep picturing my manifestions to come. It's a very happy and restful time for me. I share with a very few who are unafraid and think big. Others, whom I love dearly, but who seem to act from places of fear, I hold back with. I like to see their surprise and joy when these manifestations appear, to them, out of nowhere!
:)

[denisedeland]

I always would keep my dreams and goals to myself. When I told my mom I wanted to lose 120 pounds she laughed at me and told me I would never do it. That really hurt me. My parents have never been very supportive.. But it really made me mad.. And I wanted to do it even more after that just to prove her wrong. In all I lost 132 pounds. I went from 250 pounds to 118 pounds. I am much healthier and happier now. I think you should tell everyone your dreams.. Don't be afraid...

Denise

[berrymarymac]

I always would keep my dreams and goals to myself. When I told my mom I wanted to lose 120 pounds she laughed at me and told me I would never do it. That really hurt me. My parents have never been very supportive.. But it really made me mad.. And I wanted to do it even more after that just to prove her wrong. In all I lost 132 pounds. I went from 250 pounds to 118 pounds. I am much healthier and happier now. I think you should tell everyone your dreams.. Don't be afraid...

Denise


Wow, I am sooo happy you lost more than your goal! That is absolutely amazing!! My mom has been supportive of me, but she said to keep things to yourself because people will want to put you down. I told two friends of mine about becoming Raw Vegan and their attitudes were negative, saying that it was unhealthy, etc. One didn't talk to me afterwards, and he always talks to me...so yeah, I try to say it to someone so they can remind me later on, "hey, whatever happened to..." and hopefully I can say that I am working on it or have accomplished it! ^_^