Please help me get over this FEAR!

[RawFoodieMom]

I have been reading everything raw for days. I really want to start another 30 day challenge but several things are holding me back.

- I have major "last supper syndrome" and "I'll start tomorrow (but tomorrow never comes) syndrome"

- I'm afraid I won't like the recipes I try. I'm afraid I will miss my favourite cooked foods too much, not find raw things that I like to replace them and fail yet again.

- I had major detox (physical) symptoms on my first attempt, I felt really awful, I'm scared to go through that again.

- I didn't even get to the emotional detox phase last time, I didn't stay 100% long enough, but I have this feeling, since I'm a very emotional person by nature that it could be really hard. :( I'm scared of detox, physical and emotional.

- I think I'm actually scared to feel good when all the detox is over. It's like I'm actually scared to be happy?? Is that even possible? I've done so much thinking about this over the past week while reading this board and all the posts from all you guys (you all rawk, by the way), and I think that must be part of it or I would just do it!

I don't know how to get past these fears and just go for it so I can get to the pot of gold at the end of the raw rainbow! :( I'm almost in tears just writing this. I really don't understand why I just can't do something wonderful for myself. It's like I dont think I deserve this.

I feel like a failure before I've even begun. :(

[Rawkinlocs]

Debra,

Your mind is already setting you up for failure...you have to tell it to "shut up" so-to-speak and not feed into that. If you speak those things and expect those things, then that's what will happen.

Check your email.

[squidly]

I wish I had the answers for you but like you I have a severe case of last supper syndrome and I will do better tomorrow. I have been on and off raw for over a year now and never last at 100% for more than 12 days but I know one thing - I am still here.

The only failure is to fall and not get up again. I have fallen so many times I have lost count but I am still standing and going back again.

Any question you ask yourself you brain will answer so start by asking yourself better questionse.g

What do I need to allow myself the joy that comes from raw foods
What gorgeous foods do I need to buy so as to feel alive and free
How do I feel when I feed my body raw living foods
etc etc

The trick I am learning is to catch yourself in those negative statements like "I'm afraid".."I don't think I can do this" and turn them into

" I embrace the challenge of a raw food lifestyle and love the new days it brings me"

"The only fear is fear itself and I rise to the challenge and feel stronger each time"

Do you get my drift here?

You are not alone and I still travel teh road to freedom but wherever you are stand tall, face the sunshine and keep moving forward!

[kiddies]

Originally Posted By RawFoodieMom
- I have major "last supper syndrome" and "I'll start tomorrow (but tomorrow never comes) syndrome"
- I'm afraid I won't like the recipes I try. I'm afraid I will miss my favourite cooked foods too much, not find raw things that I like to replace them and fail yet again.


I think when we try something new, fear is a normal feeling. Instead of trying to change that, embrace it, and do the steps needed so that you are not afraid anymore. If we never deal with it, we will always have the fear nipping at us. Deal with that fear.

Why not try a week or two of testing recipes out and learning how to prepare the foods, find out what you like, and what you don't like, then commit to the 30 days. To be honest with you, I was not crazy about a lot of the recipes at first. They grow on you, you eventually love them. This is supposed to be fun!! Not a chore! I find that when I do not pressure myself into doing something and just let it happen naturally, my love for those things came so much easier. Plus you will know what you are doing because you practiced for a few weeks. You will feel more in control. You will not feel as stressed. Then you will know what you like and what you don't like, so when you are doing the 30 day challenge you will not make the "insert raw dish here" and hate it and be sooo disapointed and go out and get a cheese burger. That happened to me. ;) You will also know how to prepair raw foods and not be so tired and stressed. This will also give you the opportunity to be introducing new flavors and recipes into you diet without the pressure and stress of trying to change. You will be loving this! Raw foods are about self love! If we cannot love a way of eating, how can we expect to eat this way for life?

If you are having fears about detox, find a raw vegan MD or a naturopath to help you with this walk. They can monitor your progress and help you feel more in control. They can offer advice, and let you know if you have any reason to worry. They will be able to tell the difference between detox and a health problem. They can also help and give advice on how to detox at a slower pace so it is not so scary :eek: . I think they will offer extra confidence. Your fears will vanish!

It might also be good to find a friendly counselor to go along with you on this journey. They can help you deal with the emotional aspects of this. It will give a stong support system with answers and insight to some of your fears and problems. I am going to be finding someone to help me with this. I believe it is essential! This will bring you more confidence and you will feel like you can make these changes!

Then make sure to come on this board, because you know you will find love here, and also let your friends and family know about your walk with raw foods, and share with them about your walk in the raw. :)

They key to dealing with fear is having adequate support!

SMILE & HAVE FUN! :)

[kiddies]

One other thing, stress is not good for the body. I would stop stressing, and start enjoying life! This will happen for you. Believe it. Just enjoy the day! Be patient with yourself. That is the advice I can offer.

[koffeekate]

I just wanted to thank you for your post. You gave voice to a fear of mine, and I would guess...to a fear shared by many other newbies on this site.
As a compuslive overeater/ crazy dieter, I think everyone who started a diet has the "last supper" syndrome. I just wanted to tell you are not alone in your fear and to thank you for addressing it in this forum. Your post, and the people that give insight, are helping more people than you realize on their journey to RAW.
Thanks
KATE

[luvraw]

just start doing it and don't get upset if you aren't 100% raw all day, all the time....

i try really hard and sometimes I still can't do it, but i don't get mad at myself, i just say, i'll do better at my next meal.

The most i've been raw in a row was 5 days and i've done that a few times... or i'll stay raw for breakfast and lunch and then make dinner for dinner... or i'll be raw for breakfast not go to work prepared, eat lunch and then make a huge salad for dinner...

it's definitely a challenge, but just start doing it and not worry about it, my hopes are that one day it will be so natural to be raw that i won't think about it...

parts of the reasons i ate cooked food is when i detox, i seem to detox hard and i hate that.. but i read a lot of posts on here that say, detox and get it over with... a few days of feeling miserable isn't going to kill us!

[cornvalley]

I have been reading everything raw for days. I really want to start another 30 day challenge but several things are holding me back.

- I have major "last supper syndrome" and "I'll start tomorrow (but tomorrow never comes) syndrome"

- I'm afraid I won't like the recipes I try. I'm afraid I will miss my favourite cooked foods too much, not find raw things that I like to replace them and fail yet again.

- I had major detox (physical) symptoms on my first attempt, I felt really awful, I'm scared to go through that again.

- I didn't even get to the emotional detox phase last time, I didn't stay 100% long enough, but I have this feeling, since I'm a very emotional person by nature that it could be really hard. :( I'm scared of detox, physical and emotional.

- I think I'm actually scared to feel good when all the detox is over. It's like I'm actually scared to be happy?? Is that even possible? I've done so much thinking about this over the past week while reading this board and all the posts from all you guys (you all rawk, by the way), and I think that must be part of it or I would just do it!

I don't know how to get past these fears and just go for it so I can get to the pot of gold at the end of the raw rainbow! :( I'm almost in tears just writing this. I really don't understand why I just can't do something wonderful for myself. It's like I dont think I deserve this.

I feel like a failure before I've even begun. :(


This is interesting. Aquiring health on it's own terms, and ALL that it entails, is an unusual preoccupation. Most of the people you run into are living asleep in the comfort zone of old habits, physical and mental. When you start out with all these new ideas about behaving differently, that are unincorporated within you, the calm footing you will eventual aquire through repeated practice, just ain't there. Whether you're afraid, sick in the stomach, head aches, constipation, diarrhea, etc, etc. Even giddiness in the few moments when you realize you're not in pain any longer where there once was, can be another fleeting episode on the road to health.

Emotional detox is a fascinating concept. Maybe you need some anger work. Beating up a pillow with a whiffle bat while screaming at your fears to BUG OFF, can do wonders. Have you ever been ALLOWED to be angry growing up? Probably not, most of us are totally bogged down with shoulds and shouldn'ts among a myriad of other mental patterns that aren't working in our best interest. You may be afraid to be angry, like it's bad or something. It's not. Once you dig it up and get it out, you will be more at peace with aquiring all the habits this physical health stuff requires.

Check out the Hoffman Process if you're really needing some intensive breakthroughs with your spiritual/emotional path. I recommend it highly.

[gatorgrrl]

Just dive in! I have been 100% raw for 13 days. I have been trying to go 100% raw for 2 1/2 years. You just take it 1 meal at a time. When you fall get back up and when you have reached that 100% level you will know it and you won't fear it, but you will embrace it. I have been on and off the pot now for a while, but 13 days ago I knew I was done with my old ways. It will happen for you. It may take days or weeks or months or years but it will happen.

[purtyflowrr]

hi rawfoodie!

i tried to pm but was unable to. i am starting a new 30 day challenge and wanted to know if you would like to join me. sometimes it helps to do it with someone else. feel free to email me. nequestrians@hotmail.com
sometimes you just need accountability and support. :) we're here for you!

[RawFoodieMom]

rawkinlocs, thanks for your email! I've sent you another. :)

squidly, when you mentioned "The only failure is to fall and not get up again", that really rang true for me! I've thought about that on and off all day, actually, and I've realized that I've conditioned my brain that if I go 100% raw and eat even one bite of cooked, then I'm a complete failure, and I should consider myself to have failed yet again (like a zillion other diets and my previous 30 day challenge). Definitely have to change THAT way of thinking. This made me realize that by immediately telling myself that I've failed at the first sign of even the slightest slip-up, I'm giving myself permission to completely fall off the wagon, and go back to eating junk. I'm conditioning myself to stay right where I am. Yikes! This makes so much sense to me! Does it make sense to anyone else? :o I also appreciate what you said about asking myself better questions, and catching myself with all my negative statements. Good grief, my post was ALL negatives wasn't it, LOL! So, today I thought of a couple of positives. I think because of all the reading and thinking I've been doing about getting back to 100% raw, I've slowly started to condition myself in some positive ways. I've realized that for some reason, I haven't really enjoyed any of the cooked food I've been eating. It doesn't even taste good to me anymore. It's kind of weird, but I'll take it. ;) I've just been kind of going through the motions of eating, but not really enjoying any of it. Thanks so much for your help!

kiddies, you really spoke to me when you said "this is supposed to be fun!!" and about self-love. You are so right, and I've taken your words to heart. I'm making a list of all the awesome recipes I want to try, and those gadgets I bought at Christmas time are just calling me to play with them!! :) And you are so right about the stress. I have noticed that stress has really been affecting me lately. My mood, and physical symptoms. I'm really going to work on shaking it off. Thanks for your kind words.

[RawFoodieMom]

Kate, thank you so much for your post. Sometimes I forget that even if there aren't many responses to someone's post (not necessarily mine) that it may be touching a lot of others that don't actually reply to it but it may help them. It's easy to forget that, but it's a good thing to remember. :)

daisyjellybean, you are so right about detox "a few days of feeling miserable isn't going to kill us!" That is so true, sometimes I feel like such a baby that I can't just do it, and go through it, and get it overwith. :p But I know for me there's a lot more to it then just fear of detox, LOL! But maybe I'm still a baby, who knows... :D

cornvalley, that's really interesting about the anger. You are so right, I think anger is really frowned upon in this society, and as a child, if you get angry or frustrated and yell, you're probably sent to your room. So the next time you'd try to bottle it up instead of expressing it, wouldn't you? Very interesting, thanks for your insights! I don't think I have a lot of pent-up anger or anything, but possibly suppressed emotions. I guess I will find out one of these days, and you guys will probably hear about it. :o

gatorgrrl, thanks for your words of encouragement. It's inspiring to know that after falling a few times you are doing so well, and that you've found your way!

purtyflwrr, I've emailed you! :)

[sosiesmom]

Hi there,

I could have written your post. I tried to go 100% raw overnight and failed miserably. That approach might work for some, but for me, it didn't. So, I decided I'd work up to it. I spent a month eating 50% raw, then 75% raw and reading everything under the sun on raw foods and hanging out here on this forum. I spent that time reminding myself that eating cooked is not failing so long as I also add raw foods to my diet. David Wolfe talks about the transition to raw as one of adding more and more raw until you are completely raw (as opposed to taking away foods). Anyway, on May 1 I started the 30 day challenge and today is my 23rd day raw. Now, I should tell you that even my raw is far from perfect. I eat too many fats and gourmet raw meals but at least I am still raw. Next month I plan to work on eating less/correct combos, etc.

I did do a "last supper" on April 30th - I ate everything I could think of wanting and paid for it. I recorded how awful I felt in my journal and re-read that now whenever I am thinking of cooked. Honestly, allowing myself to eat as much raw as I want has helped me to avoid cooked (and the "last supper" mentality) and to stay raw, thus far.

You are not alone! Any lasting change happens slowly, so don't beat yourself up and try to enjoy the process.

[Janet]

Go gently on yourself.

You don't have to do it all at once. Take your time transitioning and enjoy the process. Don't make it like work or toil.

Let your body slip further and further into raw until you're happy and comfortable with yourself. If you never make it to 100%, don't put yourself down. Lots don't. Lots find it more comfortable not pushing that 100% button.

Be gentle with you.

That's all that matters.

[goodbeets]

If you look at the site "the garden diet", they suggest a gradual transition, similar to what Sosiesmom did. I have been raw for one month and, after a lifetime of eating issues, now when I think about food my brain asks, "how will it make me feel?" instead of, "how will it taste?', this simple step has opened a whole new world to me and my willpower, I actually have willpower now. Good luck and remember every time you eat something raw you are helping yourself!!! Good luck.