I ate at McDonald's - EEEK!

[ElainaThiemann]

Okay, I realize that I am coming from a different place than a lot of you. There are quite a few of you that where vegan before raw. I was not only a SAD eater but had plenty of fast food binges. Here is what happened today. It is long but bear with me.

Okay, addictions suck! I was completely fine with my Subway choice yesterday. I am equally fine with eating some Vietnemese food at a festival at my husband's church this coming Sunday. I think that I'm okay with these things because it is a choice I am making. What I have a hard time with is when it is a compulsion and not a choice, thus McDonald's today. Yesterday my older daughter, Jessie, had field day at her school and Charlie, Becca, and I went and brought lunch to her (Subway). Jessie has the day off from school but Becca had pre-school today. Of course, Becca walks in this morning and asks me if we could all come for lunch with her today. I'm thinking no problem. Then she asks if we can bring her lunch. This gives me a little pause but I still think I can handle it. My plan was to bring my lunch with me and get the kids Happy Meals. Then, Charlie says he wants to go to lunch also. For some reason this changed the whole situation for me. I ended up getting a salad and burger. I just got veggies on the salad and brought my own dressing. My first plan was to only eat half the burger and a few fries but I ended up eating the whole burger. I only had 4 fries, though. I talked to my sister and my friend before I went and I was in tears trying to figure out how to gain some willpower. My first thought was that I was stressed about my mom coming this week but I realize that was only an excuse. Basically it is an addiction and I couldn't handle the temptation. I'm really not in utter despair about it now because I realize it is virtually impossible to rely on willpower. Charlie and I need to talk and I need to try to avoid temptations for a couple of months. I think if we both would have packed a lunch I would have been fine. I think he would have been totally fine with this had I asked but I think I need him to be the one to suggest it for now. On the plus side, I realize that by going raw, this is my first time dealing with food as an addiction and that I am doing a pretty good job. I really have only had a few unplanned relapses. Maybe if I get help avoiding temptations I can avoid more of these. Also, I have seen a change in how I reacted to the burger. In the past, I would have eaten the burger, large fries, and a diet Coke. Pretty soon after eating it I would have felt full but still hungry. This time, I had the burger, salad with my own dressing, and water. The burger is still sitting like a lump in my stomach and I am looking forward to doing a Vitamin C flush tomorrow. I feel lethargic, and have a little headache. I also noticed last night that after the Subway, I had to get up more often to pee. It took me twice with the pizza to realize that I really can't eat it anymore. Maybe tonight I'll rent Supersize Me and try to cement that I don't want fast food again.

[ShelShel]

Ok...after reading your post, I was thinking...ouch. You are doing what I started "trying" to do. Which was pick and chose when you are going to be raw. For me it was Mon-Fri Raw...weekend SAD. :rolleyes: Didn't work for me. Because in the short time I was raw...my body thrived....and when I tried to be SAD it wasn't having it. :p That lump you feel from the burger...yeah...that's your body saying...nope. But give your body time and it will say things more loudly and then you will say ok...this just isn't worth it. Why the fight? I like the way I feel on raw better. ;) Just keep at being as raw as you can...little by little you will change. It doesn't have to be an overnight thing...and for some high raw is enough. Find what works best for your body...and do it. ;) You are doing great just by adding more raw and making choices in that direction. Slip ups like McD's are just learning curves. :D Take them and use them to make yourself stronger.

[JinxieKat]

ShelShel has some great advice for you and as someone who can relate to what your saying I just want to add one thing. Forgive yourself! I too went from a full fledged SAD diet with about 70% meals I made and 30% fast food on a typical week. Sometimes it was alot more fast food than meals I made *cringe* I too am dealing with the food addiction, I went through that whole mess a few weeks ago when I just fell off hard and just ate, and ate, and ate and 90% of it was fast food junk. No fun, hard to stop the downward progression when it gets that bad. Just remember, perfect is a dirty word. As far as I'm concerned it is the worst cuss word in the English language. It is something that is unatainable, and I think by striving for 100% raw some of us are setting ourselves up for failure because most of us look at 100% as 'perfection'. It works for some folks, but when you are struggling with eating issues that stem from emotions I just see it as setting yourself up for the fall without having any type of saftey net to catch yourself with. I hope that makes sence, but I feel so strongly about this. I know how the P word has wrecked havoc on my life and how it has on others as well. So, don't even use the P word in your head, know your human, that your worthy of forgiveness, and it is all about the journey not the end result. You'll come out stronger, healthier, and wiser for the journey.

Jinx