Hope you all don't mind... but I feel soo lost

[RawMagnolia]

I just feel very sad and angry with myself, and I guess kinda want to vent openly. This is a pathetic and poopy post so you may not want to read what's written below as it certainly isn't inspiring or helpful. I appologise in advance to anyone who does read it.

Very end of last year started out with me in a positive position about my weight issue and gaining a new lease on life/health. I made sure not to eat hardly any sweets at xmas, and continued that on into this year. I ordered Alissa's book/DVD's, and have recently received my dehydrator. I have a blender, a food processor and a juicer... not the best quality but ones that work regardless. And at one point I was 100% raw for 13 days... but since then everything has gone sooo far down hill that I am disparaging. I'm still not giving up the "trying" but I don't seem to be getting anywhere with it. I was diagnosed with thyroid disease back in grade 11 (half a lifetime ago now), and have been tired ever since. But at the start of this year I was prescribed iron pills as well. And as someone on here mentioned I do believe that they have affected the effects of my thyroid meds. I don't feel any better at all, and I think I feel even "more" tired... if that's even possible. I finished up the script of iron pills and went to the doctor so that I could get my blood tested so that I can hopefully get off the iron pills. But while I was there getting my blood form she prescribed me yet another 3 month script for iron pills which I was totally shocked about. I have been sooo looking forward to ending the pills. She also has asked for the thyroid function to be tested as well. So now I fully expect her to want to up my thyroid meds as well. This is just escallating!

Not to mention achy, nasal problems, and generally melancholy/depressive. Also I seem to have lost my desire to be intimate with my hubby. I love him dearly, but just can't seem to get excited anymore... for this or anything else. I just want to crawl into a burrow and hybernate for a decade or so. I try and want to be happy... and sometimes I am... but often I am not. I'm soo self conscious about my body image... ug it's just horrible to look in a mirror.

But what is the worst possible crime here is that I am my own worst enemy. I know and understand and believe that RAW is the way to go. So I will give away my junk foods, or finish them off telling myself that's the last from here on out, and then when I get that "feeling" (the one that says I can't function without chocolate/chips/cake etc) and so I run out to the store and buy more. And then I eat tonnes, have a stomach ache, and repeat the same process. I feel totally out of control with my diet. I eat junk food EVERY SINGLE DAY. And I have recently began eating some meat again. I eat my junk foods in secret b/c I am so utterly embarrased by my childish habbits. I feel sad, depressed, fat, ugly, childish, energyless, lifeless & so very out of control.

The last time I actually got a bit of a hold on life again was when I vented during the 30 day march challenge, and Miss Linda (sweet angel) asked me "what do you think will happen if you don't eat the junk food?" And for some reason it just clicked with me, and that was when I was able to do raw 100% for 13 days... then I started to detox and feel really unwell and gave up. I wish soo badly that I had never given in that day... but I can't get that day back. In the past if I was excited about a boy, or something good I was hoping for I could behave as far as my diet goes and lose some weight, but then something else would happen and I'd lose my drive. My mind is just crazy. What makes it possible today, but impossible tomorrow????

I'm so tired of this struggle, and I find that I'm kinda afraid of behaving b/c I just "know" I'll give up or fail or stop. I want to avoid the yo-yoing. I'm not sure what I need right now to get me back on the straight and narrow, but perhaps I just need to force myself back to exercising. I hate exercising... never was able to get into it for any length of time. I am horrible to my body on all fronts unfortunately. I so wish that I had attained some good habbits straight from childhood. I know that some ppl on the board struggle with cooked foods, and I can understand. But I just wish that my problem was trying to avoid eating wholesome cooked foods... my evil is the junk food/processed world.

Where is a rock big enough that I can lodge myself under it???

[gatorgrrl]

I hear your struggles. I am coping with many of the same issues. I absolutely hate that I have allowed myself to get my body in such disarray. But now is the time for us all to take our power back!!!!!!!!!!! Precancer, blood pressure, bleeding, thyroid, fainting, fatique and so on will NO Longer control me. Are you with me. I am in control of my world and all is good.

[rawpriestess]

You, know you have answered your own questions in this post.

What I learned is that it isn't OUT THERE, it is IN ME.

all of the explaining defending and justifying in the world will NOT help you.

what you need to do is to decide to commit to raw, or not, it's really up to you.

Why do you WANT to eat raw? there must be a reason, is it health? weight? WHAT?

and then take a look at what you've been eating, and see if that is getting you closer to your goal, of weight loss? health? etc.

and don't look at this as a forever thing, although I do, but look at it as just for today, so just for today you will eat raw, if you want some junk food, you can get that tomorrow, but just for today, eat raw.

then tomorrow wake up and eat raw, and make the decision to just for that day to eat raw, or not, it is up to you.

[Rawkinlocs]

You, know you have answered your own questions in this post.

What I learned is that it isn't OUT THERE, it is IN ME.

all of the explaining defending and justifying in the world will NOT help you.

what you need to do is to decide to commit to raw, or not, it's really up to you.

Why do you WANT to eat raw? there must be a reason, is it health? weight? WHAT?

and then take a look at what you've been eating, and see if that is getting you closer to your goal, of weight loss? health? etc.

and don't look at this as a forever thing, although I do, but look at it as just for today, so just for today you will eat raw, if you want some junk food, you can get that tomorrow, but just for today, eat raw.

then tomorrow wake up and eat raw, and make the decision to just for that day to eat raw, or not, it is up to you.


Beautiful advice there!

I agree wholeheartedly, esp. with the part in bold!

[ElainaThiemann]

I definitely know where you are coming from. One idea is to plan ahead for these cravings. I found it very helpful to always have corn chips and guacamole and raw pizza around. That way I feel like I am eating junk food. Other things that help me are raw oreos, key lime pie, cashew cheese.

Elaina
http://elaina-goes-raw.blogspot.com

[vegggeeemom]

I feel your post through my entire being! Wow, this was me just a few days ago!! I am crying while replying to you, because I know the feelings you are describing of how you feel, how you sneak food.

RP said it perfectly. It is in you! That is where it is for all of us, in us. I had to come to the resolve that I had ENOUGH. I had enough of feeling inadequate with my body. I had enough with running to SAD food for comfort. I had just had enough.

I think I cried for two days straight before posting the post that I did begging for help to get back to the raw diet.

Somehow, reaching out and making it known on this board that I was back helped me so much!

There is a May challenge going on! If you'd like we would love to have you join in! The more support, ideas and encouraging words that fill that thread the better.

You have raw in you...you desire to be raw or you would not be back here posting wondering what happened.

I'll get you the link to the raw challenge! I'm also doing a challenge to help me with exercise, water and fiber intake! It is all helping me to stay focused.

Here's the link to the May challenge! Hope to see you there!! http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13882
Pam

[asil]

Well, I'm going to suggest something that helped me. A few years ago I developed a huge goiter and was diagnosed with an autoimmune thyroid disease. I'd been feeling much like you for a number of years, but no one, including me, connected it to thyroid problems. I was able to feel a bit better with thyroid replacement hormones but that wasn't enough.

I started improving my diet and doing yoga, which helped a bit, but still didn't get me there. I resisted raising my thyroid meds because I didn't think that was the answer to actual healing.

Finally I saw a doc who suggested we really ramp up the replacement hormones until I felt well enough to improve the rest of my life. I'm telling you, it was the ticket. We added meds until I felt normal. When I could finally make it through the day on just 8 hours of sleep, and I was thinking clearly, I was able to really ramp up my healthy living activities. I went raw, started doing yoga 6X/week, began swimming and meditating. My life rocks now! I feel great and have my thyroid levels tested every six months. The last two times, I've had to lower my meds. My thyroid seems to be healing. But I really don't feel I would have been strong enough, or clear thinking enough to make these changes without the meds.

That's just me and what worked for me. Hope you feel better soon. :)

[sweepea32]

You are so not alone in your thoughts and feelings.
You are human. It is OK to fail 1000 times or more. That is how we learn.
If you learn a little something each time you 'fall off the raw wagon' than maybe that is all you were meant to learn right at that time.
What happens with us is the -all or nothing-attitude/mentality.
Be kind to yourself. You are so worth it. Trust yourself. Think back to those days you WERE 100% RAW-woo-hoo!!! You did it then. Think of your thoughts then and try to get them back.

Hang in there. Help is always right here on this board.


love
Mary

[ryana]

don't try trying never works gives you an option to fail just do it with no choice

[maraw]

...I'm so tired of this struggle, and I find that I'm kinda afraid of behaving b/c I just "know" I'll give up or fail or stop.

You sweet, sweet wonderful woman, you deserve the very best of everything. And don't believe for one moment that you don't. You are worthy of friendship, you are worthy of love, you are worthy of good health. Are you punishing yourself for some reason? Please remember NO ONE IS PERFECT, NO ONE.

May I suggest something? Instead of looking at your personal raw challenge on a monthly, weekly or even daily basis, why not take it one meal at a time? Sometimes when I really feel like I am failing myself, I do that and it helps. I see small triumphs and I stop looking for the HUGE ones. It allows me to feel less like I am failing and more like I am moving ahead. And if and when I blow it, I pray that God gives me another day to try again.

I am sure that having chronic health problems must keep your spirits low, but you should be proud that you have the desire to do something about it. There are too many people that don't. Keep taking those baby steps forward and know in your heart of hearts, deep down inside, we are here for you. We may all be just virtual friends, but we are friends nonetheless with a common bond - and it's a strong one at that: to live healthy, productive, raw lives and to share our stuggles and our triumphs. We are here for you.

[juliebove]

First, keep in mind that all of your problems (except perhaps for the sinus stuff) are probably related to your thyroid. Is your Dr. testing your T3 and T4 in addition to your TSH? If not, he/she should be doing this. Your TSH could show that it is fine, yet you could still have a thyroid problem. As for the iron pills, they should not be taken along with the thyroid pills. You should also not take vitamin C supplements or eat any foods high in vitamin C at the same time as the thryoid pills because vitamin C increases the absorption of iron. Some people I know get up in the middle of the night to take their thyroid meds so there won't be a problem. I used to take my supplements at night and the thyroid pills in the morning. I *knock wood* am no longer on the thyroid pills. And no longer taking iron.

In my case, I feel that the iron deficiency was a result of eating dairy products that I now know I am allergic to. I do not think dairy products in and of themselves will cause anemia. But from what I've read, if you have an allergy to dairy, it *can* cause anemia.

Are you eating any goiterogenic foods? Here's a link that explains this. You have to scroll down to the nutrition section.

http://healingdeva.com/thyroid.htm

Are you eating any gluten containing foods such as wheat, spelt, barley or oats? Oats themselves do not contain gluten but there is a high possibility of them becoming cross contaminated by gluten. It's possible that you have undiagnosed celiac. Anemia is often a sign of this!

Are you seeing an Endocrinologist? If not, perhaps you should. I find GPs often don't understand metabolic disorders and that's what you have.

[misslinda]

RAWMAGNOLIA!!!!!!!!!!!

This is Awesome.......you have reached a dead end and coming face to face with the inner core of your raw endeavors. Imagine being on the other side where you are [committed] to staying with cooked b/c you [don't] want to be raw? Rather, you are on the other side [wanting] to be raw and know what it is like and keeping "walking" that direction......don't have to "run" to it.............

The great thing is, you did it once before you can do it again---but with even more clearer intensions..............like RP said, you answered all of your questions quite well and the only thing left is "doing,choosing and trying" ;) Boy, choices makes life miserable---doesn't it :D

Come on, Path, JMD and Mandarin Honey and I are all waiting for you.................... :D :) :p ;)

http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?p=126396&posted=1#post126396

[JinxieKat]

First off..

((((((HUGS))))))

Then second.. I am so sorry I've been tied up with work and such. I had no idea you were struggling so! I hit bottom hard myself last week and I am doing just as maraw suggested and am doing one raw meal at a time. I'm up to 5 in a row right now. Whohoo! Maybe we can count together? We can start over at one together if you'd like. Just let me know!

I found this on SparklePlenty's site at the end of last week. I keep thinking of this when I'm having a hard time. It has really inspired me!

"Have patience with all things but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You're a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person simply because you exist. And no amount of triumphs or tribulations can ever change that. Unconditional self acceptance is the core of a peaceful mind."
St. Francis de Sales

Mistakes are a way to learn, just some lessons take longer and are harder to learn than others. A week and a half ago I was sneaking junk food in the laundry room so that noone would know. Now that I look back who was I fooling? I knew! Did hiding it keep me from knowing? Not at all even though that is really what I wanted to do. Just hide my obcession from myself and pretend it didn't exist. Ugh, what an awful, awful place to be in. I just wanted to cry and cry and hide, again not from the world I realised, but from myself. When I get that way I try to remember that quote above. It is soo true, I am worth something and my mistakes do not dictate who I am. So I ate something I shouldn't have, well as long as I dust myself off for the umpteenth time and try again then I'm still doing fine! Will I fall again, most likely! But that's Ok because I am still a wonderful person even if I do make a mistake. You are too!!!!!


Jinx

[JMD]

RawMAgnolia~~

You got some great love and advise here....
Remember PAIN IS THE BEST MOTIVATOR~~Remember how you feel now and MAKE the change...Be like NIKE "Just do IT!!" and feel good with whatever progress you are making.

OXOXOX
JMD

[EmeraldGlow]

*~*HUGS*~*

You are wonderful! I give kudos to you for recognizing whats going on with you and you really really really wanting to help your body!

My evil is the processed msg lovin chips! I am sooo addicted to them! I know that we will BOTH over come our addiction. Along with many others that are having this same problem. We will be able to help others get through these same rocks that we are getting past. We are so blessed to have eachother on this board! We are a family. You can always tells us whats going on and come for us with help, we're all here to help eachother out! :)

Much love to you and more hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[misslinda]

My evil is the processed msg lovin chips! out! :)



yUR CUTE EG! You added the MSG and the smiley face together :p that's what I love about you all---honesty and confident about it :)

"Save Rawmagnolia"

[shadow]

Beautiful advice there!

I agree wholeheartedly, esp. with the part in bold!

Ditto! This is exactly my way of thinking! I ate bad last night (see the McDonalds thread) but today I'm eating good and today is a NEW day! You can always start over the next day. One cookie DOES NOT have to lead to another. Be kind to yourself.

[asil]

Be kind to yourself.

This seems like the best multi-purpose advice of all! :D

[bootzey]

I agree with everything that everyone has said. Have you ever considered that our depression could be a side effect of your medications?
When I was on meds, my moods wuld ebb & flow. That ended when I stopped taking the meds. By all means check with your physician to see if that's allowable!


[QUOTE=RawMagnolia] I was diagnosed with thyroid disease back in grade 11 (half a lifetime ago now), and have been tired ever since. But at the start of this year I was prescribed iron pills as well. And as someone on here mentioned I do believe that they have affected the effects of my thyroid meds. I don't feel any better at all, and I think I feel even "more" tired... if that's even possible. I finished up the script of iron pills and went to the doctor so that I could get my blood tested so that I can hopefully get off the iron pills. But while I was there getting my blood form she prescribed me yet another 3 month script for iron pills which I was totally shocked about.

[swingbolder]

Hi guys, I'm in too for the month of May. I did fine in April with one slip-up and then I gave into Chinese food cravings yesterday. It really didn't taste that good. It was fried tofu, and it had the greasy, tough consistency of overcooked meat, yuck.

Anyhow, I'm pretty excited that the green Haitian mangoes are available now. I've lived on those in the past. :p

[jenjenn]

In a sense I struggle with food the same way you do. I've been vegan for about a year and the past couple days, I've actually had drinks with milk in them, cheese, and cake. I feel like what's wrong with me? So I know it's hard.

I think that maraw had good advice, along with everyone else, so I'm going to try what she said. Just one meal at a time I will focus on, and if I mess up I will pray to god.


The hardest time is when we've eaten or we really don't want to eat bad foods but we feel this tugging feeling , something in our minds says we have to have it , so we go to the store and buy it. Sometimes I've been in the process and stopped myself, not often , but it's happened. I didn' t feel good about it at the time, because I feflt i was depriving my self , but later my body was happy because it didn't have to digest all the food.

I am struggling with these issues even today, I've already eatin cheese, and cake...things i haven't eaten in about a year....so i hope it helps to know that your not the only one who feels bad and struggles with these issues, I hope together along with others that struggle with food issues we can overcome the powerful controller that overcomes us.

[goodbeets]

I am new to this world of raw but, after only a few days, I truly notice positive changes to many areas of my life. I have been getting ALL of my information via the internet there is so much info out there, much of it argues the other parts but the one thread I keep hearing is "trust your body".
The fact that you know what a raw food diet is is about a 20 mile head start. Go ahead, state a goal like, "in 5 years I'll be living 95%raw! Some people need 100% raw, some 80, some 70. It will be a long road towards finding that balance but I believe that raw is the best start to get to know our bodies again. Give yourself credit for getting this far.
I have been letting myself start out by enjoying the raw food way. Rather than fasting I am feasting on nuts and avacadoe slices wraped in kale drizzled with a dressing of tahini, honey, vin and oil. Later I blend a banana, 2 dates, 1/2 avacado, 1tbl. tahini, 1 tbl. honey, 1 tbl. cocoa,and 2 tbl. carob and share it with my 2 year old, YUM!!!

[karenisraw]

I really like the way you write. You had me compelled because you descibed yourself so well.

I believe most of us have been where you are at one point or another. There is nothing at all to be embarrased or ashamed about.

What helped me was the lectures that I go to the go into great scientific detail about the biochemical reactions in your body when you cook and eat cooked foods. Scares the living daylights out of me to eat cooked now. I cheat now and then but mostly I am raw because I know it is physically harmful to eat SAD, especially meat, dairy, white flour, sodas and a few others I can't remember which ones though. Yikes. I have pretty much come to teh conclusion that eating anything but raw is physically bad for you.

I know everyone here is probably tired of hearing about this but make sure you get your B-12 methylcobalamin. Lack of it can affect your psychological well-being and make you depressed and moody, distracted and restless among other things. I would make sure you are getting the essential nutrients that you need because this could be causing the cravings.

k
:)

[EmeraldGlow]

yUR CUTE EG! You added the MSG and the smiley face together :p that's what I love about you all---honesty and confident about it :)

"Save Rawmagnolia"

Misslinda & RawMagnolia ~ :D Honesty is the best policy! Even if that means telling your raw familia that you still love those msg chips! (they sure are fully loaded :p) LOL. Ooooohh, I'll be so happy when those cravings are gone! And you can be sure y'all will be the first to know about it!

Let's all join in and say this together --- SAVE RAWMAGNOLIA!!!!!!! :)

[RawMagnolia]

Wow... you guys have truly touched me. I was soo afraid of actually "posting" my message b/c I was unsure of how it would be received... and it's difficult to actually admit such things about yourself... but I really needed to do it for some reason, and I am truly glad that I did.

I am going to print this out, so that I can read and re-read what everyone has written... there are a lot of good ideas and a tonne of warmpth for me to soak up. I know it has been said before, but this is really quite a loving bunch of people. Thank you for caring about me.

The last couple of days I have still had some junk food, but it's been reduced, and I'm trying a new approach. I am trying to make sure that I eat raw before my meals... i.e. like a salad before I eat anything else. I know that I try tooo hard... and it just doesn't seem to work for me. So I just need to find a place that will work for me right now. Then once I'm comfortable with that I can progress forward. I would really like to be one to just jump into raw whole-heartedly 100% right now... but I think I have the understanding now that perhaps I will do better with a slower transition. And it will be my main goal to be "o'kay with that". I am definitely an all-or-nothing kind of personality... so this will be a challenge for me.

I feel like right now... I guess I'm not ready for 100%, so I am going to view it as like an alcoholic... he is better off with milk than alcohol... even though this may not be the long term goal. So I will try to focus on encorporating more raw foods, and focus less on trying not to eat the other foods. And I'm going to try to learn to do vegan foods for the non-raw foods that I will eat. At least I'll be better off than I am right now right?

And who knows... my mind and willpower change quite frequently, perhaps in a few weeks/months I will be ready to try a wholly raw approach again.

Thank you to everyone soo much for your love and warmpth and understanding. It really does help (perhaps more than you know) to hear that I'm not alone, not the only one struggling... and that we can do this... all of us... together.

Sandra

[EmeraldGlow]

*~*HUG!!*~*

I'm glad we could all help our sister in need, indeed! (woooh did I just rhym??lol)

Not only does that just sound like a really good idea, it IS a really good idea! I wish my printer was working so that I could do the same. You are WONDERFUL and you remind me that I can come on here whenever I need to to get support and love from this family.

Yeah, just take it a meal at a time. I had some junk food after breaking a fast yesturday :) ...and suprisingly it didn't taste that good anymore! The bread I really had no desire for, but the chips tasted better! But, honestly, the chips are loosing there taste! Eating something raw before each meal and going vegan is a really good transition!!! I'm transitioning too, for different reasons but we are all in this together. I have been a veg for about 3 months now and my stop is becoming vegan! I'm going vegan right after my birthday next monday. Oh! Have you tried green drinks? I make sure that is the first thing I eat everyday. It really helps me loose those cravings for whatever!

There is hope! I know you will be able to get there even if it takes you 3 months to transition! (Heck i've know about his for 3 yrs!! Why aren't I raw yet?! Lol.)

Much love,
Di

[PhoeniX]

I am really happy to hear that you are finding a way to move forward. I had such a vivid picture of you having such a hard time and then kicking yourself while you were down. So I wanted to restate what was said to you earlier 'Be kind to yourself'. It is so easy to become our worst enemies when we go through difficult times. I sure know! I am really glad that you are cutting yourself some slack

I want to really praise you for having such determination and the desire to continue with raw even when you felt that you were really struggling with it.

J

[AbundantLife]

This is my first post here - and I just want to encourage you!

Please don't be so hard on yourself! Sometimes, makings sweeping changes is just too hard. For me, I WANTED to make those sweeping changes, but I had just too many bad habits to do that successfully. So, I began taking baby steps and making 1-2 changes PER WEEK. Instead of getting rid of everything, I began replacing one or two things with something better (vegan or raw). I wrote down the things that I was doing.

This past February, I had a really bad week and I was telling myself that "once again, I am a failure". SOmething told me to go look at my journal, though, and I was AMAZED at how far I've come since last July!! How many wonderful, healthy, life-giving habits I've let into my life while letting go of some very bad, unhealthy habits.

I am not 100% raw yet, but I inch there day by day (I'm about 90-95% now). I've not lost a great deal of weight yet, but that wasn't why I was doing this! I figure that the weight will come off when my body is ready for it to come off. I've gone down a dress-size and I feel really happy about that. What makes me even more happy is that I feel absolutely WONDERFUL as far as energy goes and my sleeping patterns, etc. I've learned so much more than I knew a year ago (which was a big, fat NOTHING!). My family is getting on board, which makes it even easier now.

BUt this all happened with baby steps. Maybe you can try just embracing 1-2 changes a week and feel good about those changes, whether it is with food or with some kind of physical activity (even just sitting outside in the sun for 10 minutes a day, then walking around the yard, then to the end of the block, etc.) Some else mentioned learning about the science of how your body works - this was great advice! It makes such a huge difference when you can understand even a little of the physiology of what is going on in our bodies when we eat cooked vs raw.

I still crave a cracker now and then - so I have one. Or I want a bite-sized Almond Joy, so I have one. But I don't do that every day. I want to be 100% raw 100% of the time and that is my goal, but I will get there taking baby steps and that just works best for me.

Hope this was a least a little helpful! Don't give up! Every moment we are given is a moment in which we can begin again. Begin again with your very next meal.

God Bless!

[RawMagnolia]

thank you all soo much! I think the baby step program is the one that will work for me :p

A couple of times in the past few days this week I have had my mind tell me "oh just go to the store and buy something for lunch... that salad will keep until supper"... but my first baby step was to ignore that inner voice, and make sure to eat my lunch salad no matter what. And then... should I need it, I have something else after it. This has really helped this week with my food choices, b/c by the time I'm done my salad I don't "want" anything more lol. It's really a great way to approach this problem of mine.

For me, part of the joy of junk food is in the "purchasing" of it... if that makes any sense?!? So I am trying to replace my lunch time running around from store to store enjoyable by reading... currently reading a series of book that is very similar to LOTR. This is helping also. And when I go home at night, I'm trying to spend some time outside in my gardens, weeding, cutting grass, etc. This is helping my after work time.

I think a large part of my wrongful food choices right now is due to eating out of stress and boredom. At work things are miserably slow... so I eat. It's hard to eat much when you are flying around the office. And then boredom when I get home... so I'm trying to keep busy... either outside, or cleaning inside.

I was really feeling like my whole life was consumed with RAW and food prep. etc. And I really didn't like this. Either I was buying veggies/fruits, or I was preparing something, or I was cleaning up after preparing something, or I was reading my RAW books, or I was thinking about making something raw... and it was getting really just too much for me. So now I'm trying to make it more about living life, and enjoying having a life... outside of RAW. Again, if that makes any sense hehe.

Thanks SOO utterly much to everyone for continuing to care, and share with me. It just means the world to me... esp. right now!!!

Sandra

[EmeraldGlow]

YW! :)

I'm so excited for you! You are taking it one meal at a time and getting stronger and stronger every day!! You are doing what you need to do to achieve your goal. Have fun with the choices you are making, live life in-joy in the now!!! We are all with you.

What book are you reading? I love to read...:)

[RawMagnolia]

EmeraldGlow... I'm reading the series of Shannara... it's a trio of books.

The first one is called the Sword of Shannara, the second one (which I just finished) is called the Elf Stones of Shannara, and the last one is called the Wishsong of Shannara. I highly recommend these books if you're a LOTR fan!! They have the same feel, but they have other types of people etc.

Then I believe that there are other books that go on from this trio... that's where I'll be headed after I'm done this last book (half way thru lol)!!

[JinxieKat]

Oh my .. the Shanara series is HUGE. You'll have plenty to keep you going for a while. You should look to the Belgariad (? spelling) series and the one following it by David Eddings after Shanara. Wow, those are an awsome set of books as well. You want to read the Belgariad first then the other, there are five books in each series. They are one of my favorites. Another good set are the ones writen by Robert Jordan, the Wheel of Time set. He is on book 11 and there is a prequel too. I think he is going to wrap it up in either book 12 or 13. Things are really comming together now, it's exciting. They are _huge_ so they will keep you busy for a while. Another set that I love is the Dark Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop, these are a bit dark but very intrigueing. Hmm... Kushiel's Dart trilogy is good too, I cannot remember the author though, and Sharon Shinn's Archangel series is awsome too. My favorite will always be the Deryni series by Katherine Kurtz, she got me hooked in fantasy books when I was in the fourth grade, good stuff!

Oh, btw, can you tell I"m a book worm *lol*

Jinx