My husband thinks I am getting too thin...

[greeninlosangeles]

And I am not! My BMI(whatever it is worth)is 19 point something and I still could loose 7 more pounds and still would be in normal range. How do you deal with people who tell you that you are too thin when you are not?

[Sheryl]

Some people start looking too skinny on raw - working out to build muscle helps!

I think in our society we have an unnatural idea of people's 'proper' size. We are so used to people 40% of more overweight. We also get used to how people are.

Could this be more about how he feels than you? Something to think about!

Cheers,
Sheryl

[robertandenith]

wow how long you been in raw foods? do you do 100% raw? just curious, I want to get 'too thin' too!!! lol

just don't bother, they will eventually give up! :)

[swingbolder]

How do you deal with people who tell you that you are too thin when you are not?

I haven't gotten this in awhile, but I got these comments a lot last year. I never did figure out a good way to deal with them. But I have thought about it in the meantime, and I think that the next time someone comments I will say "it may seem that way to you, but I FEEL great and am healthy, and isn't that what matters?" I don't get these comments anymore bc I look healthy now and have settled into my weight, as opposed to when I first went raw when I dropped the weight very quickly. This happens to a lot of people: you initially lose weight very rapidly, then you gain some back, getting to a healthy equilibrium.

If the person is very overweight, I may feel tempted to comment on their own weight. . . but that's not really in my personality to just deliberately hurt someone's feeling (tempting though!).

If it's a stranger or acquaintance, you might say "didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to comment on people's weight?" . . . or some other snappy comeback.

[rawfigure]

I no longer defend statements like that, I say thank you...this stumps them.

[Cinnamon]

I got this a lot in the summer of 2004 when I was at my lowest weight, (110 and now I am 118). I appreciated the concern from family and friends but reminded them that I was at a "normal" weight and just not overweight as they were used to seeing so large a percentage of our population. After a few months and gaining back a few pounds as I settled into my current and very stable weight they all stopped talking about it, they also saw how healthy I'd become and with exercising every day I have really built up more muscle and at almost 50 years old I'm in pretty good shape if I do say so myself! Ha!

[Sharon in Colorado]

I no longer defend statements like that, I say thank you...this stumps them.

I said this to an aunt who exclaimed that my face was so thin during a 2 week fast, she didn't know what to say!

[JMD]

Hi GreeninLA:

Just curious how much have you lost total thusfar?? Do you think MAYBE he is a little insecure with changes you are making?? My DH got nervous before our wedding last yr when I got really thin...he was concerned for my health but then he thought he needed to lose weight too. I have found soemtimes we are mirrors for our partners. I could be WAY off~~just sharing a thought.

I think working out with weights is key--I got my body weight more stablized by working out with more weights too and I do push-ups daily. Going raw, I lost most of my weight on my upper body (dang!!:)) so the arm exercises were key for me to look more balanced.

Hugs,
JMD

[pdx kris]

GreeninLA -

I just read in the "how much weight have you lost on the 30 day challenge" that you are 5'6 and 122 pounds. That does not sound too thin at all, but instead a slim, healthy weight.

I wonder if your husband's feelings are coming from fearing now that you've lost weight, you're going to go out and find a new man? This is a REALLY common fear for men whose partners lose weight and find new confidence in their new physiques. Even otherwise great guys! Maybe if you made a special point to tell him how much you love being married to him, can't wait till you're playing shuffle board in South Beach when you're 70, etc, it might assuage any feelings of insecurity he's having right now?

Congrats on your awesome weight loss!

[rawandama]

"""Do you think MAYBE he is a little insecure with changes you are making?? My DH got nervous before our wedding last yr when I got really thin...he was concerned for my health but then he thought he needed to lose weight too. I have found soemtimes we are mirrors for our partners. """

Whoa- I never thought of that. That would explain why when my hubby lost so much weight last year (20 lbs just from building our float house) I suddenly felt very insecure and had to mention his weight all the time. I lost 10 lbs just because of that!

[heabrook]

:rolleyes: I get this all the time. Some people (who don't know me very well) think I have an eating disorder because I am thin/petite.

I would exercise and build muscle. I started exercising a lot, and my sister-in-law said that I look better because I am thin and muscular as opposed to just thin.....

[rawpriestess]

I have NEVER had this happen in my entire life, except once, when I hadn't eaten for three days, and my waist was very small, someone said they could see my back bone through my tummy, not true, I was about 50 pounds over weight, but when I was younger, I had a very small waist, at least 20 inches smaller than my hips, so I always looked thin on the top, all my weight was in my legs and hips. LOL


But, I have no idea what this would be like, I have never been my normal weight, except when I was about 2 years old MAYBE

[rawfigure]

I think sometimes we get used to seeing someone a certain way. Initially they may think you too thin but over time (as long as you are not over thin of course) they learn to see you the new way. That is demonstated in the post where TP's daughter said he looked weird. http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13748

[greeninlosangeles]

Thank you so much for the answers, I will use them according to situation. I am 5 months all raw and lost around 28 pounds. I know working out would be nice, but I do once a week bellydance and walk around an hour or more with my 2.5 year old son and run after him.He won't let me lift weights or exersize, because he always want to join- my husband did not believe me, so I demonstrated to him- I did 2 strokes with abslider before my son took it from me, and then 7 lifts with weights(so many just because he was busy with abslider!)When he goes to bed, I am already very tired myself and just want to catch up with emails and write a little my book- i write in my native language about raw foods and hope to finish in several years.I offered my husband to let me couple times a week to go to the gym, but he doesn't want to. And yes, he needs to loose weight himself, his BMI is 30, just the border from overweight to ebese!