"You look pregnant"...help, please!

[Raene]

So over the past weekend my mom visited and while I was cooking gourmet raw food she mentioned that I look pregnant (knowing that I'm not). Yes, I'm sensitive, and this comment really hurt! It's true, I haven't been 100% lately, but it still seems that no matter what I eat all my weight goes to my belly. And the sad thing is, I'm truly underweight. There's just a tummy pooch there that I'm now even more self-conscious about. The thing is, after my mom made this comment I felt I couldn't eat anything but salad in front of her and then I just get angry and compulsively eat in another room. How can I get rid of my tummy and get back the pre-baby tummy I had before my 2 yr old was born? :(
PS I don't know if anyone else is this way, but when I eat raw food I stay hungry and seem to feel like I "need" cooked to feel like I'm finished eating.

[karenisraw]

Raene,

First of all there is nothing wrong with you and it does not matter to any intelligent human being how you look. Your health does not seem to be in any danger and your mother's comment was rude, insensitive and un-called for. My grandmother would constantly make comments on family members looks, financial situation and other personality traits. She did not seem to recognize her own unattractive shortcomings. I would just ignore it nobody here cares what you look like. If you really want to get rid of you normal pooch, then I would recommend situps on one of those huge bouncy balls. They are great for the lower ab.

If you do decide to try to get rid of it, do it because you want to for yourself and nobody else or you may end up resenting doing this for someone else's approval.

I vote that you let what she said go in one ear and out the other.

k
:) :)

[twinyoga]

Personally, I love a pot-belly. I don't even hold my stomach in anymore like I use to. I think it's attractive. And, if you are not overweight, then I'm sure your stomach is perfectly acceptable. I too was raised being told I was "pudgy" (though I never was). So, just forget about it and enjoy being healthy.

[blessed]

I am not 100% raw but my tummy was going down and i could see the curve in my waistline until i saw my favorite candybar on sale. I had given them up but they looked so good so i took advantage of the sale and got 2 they a couple of days later got 2 more, saying that i was going to share them with my husband.
I noticed that my tummy started to swell and bloat, i'm still trying to get it down, yes i've given up on the candybars, they are on sale again but i will not be buying anymore, ever again.
What i have done is started making my own candy, so when i feel the craving i'm not tempted to go to the store and buy any.
I know have a page on my fridge with: What are you eating for breakfast,
next line says what's for lunch or snack, next paragraph says, afternoon meal or evening snack and next it says You must eat nothing after 7:45pm.
This is my third day doing this and it seems to be helping, when it's in my face it seems that i eat the right things.
Also how is your elimination? I've also noticed with me if i eat a lot of fiberious veggies i also bloat and i get blocked up.
Hope some of this helps.

Ann

Ann

[Raene]

Wow, thanks for all of the sweet and helpful comments. My mom's comment came at a time when I was just starting to date again after 3 years so now I'm questioning if I should wait until I look better. However, the comments from all of you made me think I probably look just fine so hopefully I can find someone who'll love all of me, including my belly. :)

[Denise Nicole]

Ahhh the pouch belly! The muscles in your stomach simply stretched out to have your precious little one's, a bit of a reminder I am afraid...but well worth it. I have 4 children and know this very well. :rolleyes:

How to control it:
-Find you optimin weight (sounds like you already did this)
-Ab exercises 3 times weekly (I found less then this, and bam, it's back)
-Realize it will be more prominant when you are retaining water of have eaten foods which may not agree with you. Eating Raw and eliminating foods which your stomach doesn't like will help, if you are one to retain once a month, no worries, realize it will go away in a few days
-Finally Surgery -don't recommend this one and personally I don't want them cutting up my abdomin unless I would have needed a C section.

Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves, and it isn't near as bad as we might think. A slightly rounded belly is rather sexy...don't you think? ;)

On another note, I don't surround myself by persons who put me down or try to make me feel bad. I didn't choose my family, and choose not to be around some of them, others I see but really don't spend too much time with any of them. But that was a decision I made a while ago, to surround myself with positive people. If she wasn't your mother would she be your friend?

[Raene]

If she wasn't your mother would she be your friend?

No! Not without a BIG apology first!

[momentumbaby]

I am really new to the whole Raw- Sceene. I started reading about raw food just three weeks ago and decided little after that to stick with the 8-1-1 approach, which means mostly fruit. I am doing great during the week, but on the weekends I can't help my cravings. I go and eat Pizza, or Sandwiches, you know how that goes. The whole weekend I am bloated and I can't go to the bathroom until Monday or Tuesday. I did this for two weekends and we amazed what a pregnant look I got. My husband and I mainly joked about it, cause I am still new to this style of eating.

However, I found couple websites on Raw Food and one article had a brief explanation for what happened to me. As I understand, while I eat fruits all week my stomach changes to a base. On weekends when I eat pizza, it is much more accidic and that causes indigestion.

THis weekend I gained about a pound every day and yesterday I had a good bowel movement and lost 1.8 pounds again in a day. I think it was all stuck in my stomach. Anyway, read the article and it might help
http://nov55.com/hea/food.html

[myssi]

Wow, sounds like my mom. . .rude comments and all. There's nothing like the one person who should love you and be the most supportive putting you down. It feels like crap, but please try to realize that nobody else decides your self-worth unless you let them. Be strong!

As far as the tummy goes, the advice I have is to try to do lots of ab work (the sit-ups on an exercise ball do work great--feet on the floor, back on the ball, then do sit ups from there).

The other HUGE thing is try to keep your stress level in check, stress causes belly fat, so get into a regular habit of winding down and re-centering yourself. But, once again, do it for YOU, not for anyone else.

Best wishes!

[PDMagnusen]

Raene, I'm sorry to hear about such an insensitive and negative comment - especially from someone who you care about. I've experienced a similar situation in the past, and it's was very hurtful.

You said you stay hungry when eating raw. What are you typically eating? Do you actually feel you need cooked food to be full, or are you eating cooked food after a raw meal because you are looking for something "different" to eat? Do you feel you could just eat more raw foods until you are full?

When I first went 100% raw, I was eating a lot! Although I felt I was eating a bit more than I did when I was eating a SAD diet, I was completely comfortable with it, because as Alissa says in her book -- it's normal for someone transitioning from SAD to raw to eat more than they normally would (after being raw for some time). In my experience, mixing raw and cooked foods would make me more hungry and would just throw my body completely out of whack for the rest of the day. Do you think maybe the cycle of eating both cooked and raw is making you hungry?

[nerdgirl]

I suggest that you try Pilates. It makes my body strong for everything, since everything radiates from your core and if you don't have a strong core (mid-section), your body will over compensate (essentially it will create a lop-sided effect). I recently tried surfing and was up and surfing immediately while my husband struggled to stand up. In fact, I noticed that the saltly water was nice on my lips and didn't exactly block it out. As a result, I became sick to my stomach to the point of almost vomiting. I went from laying on the surfboard trying desperately not to vomit to (literally the next second) standing and surfing. Pilates made it that easy. Plus, your body will appear graceful yet strong and confident.

[Svadhyaya]

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with your mom being so cruel.

Often mothers are jealous of their daughter's youth and freedom (you did say you were ready to date again) and will say unkind things as a result. My mom was brutal to me in my late teens and early 20s and now I know it was only because I was at my best and she was fading (only 40, but an old, tired 40 - bad health, smoking, etc.) and didn't know how to handle being around me.....we were both dating, but she saw me getting lots of dates/being happy and she was having no luck. It was hard on her. She was horrible to me during those years, but at least now I know why and can pity her instead of hate her.

Have you considered confronting your mom and let her know how much that hurt and ask her to please keep further unkind comments to herself? Maybe let her know that comments like that will end up hurting your relationship if it continues, and that you love her and don't want to see that happen. It's possible she'll be sorry if she sees how badly her words hurt you.

[RowanC]

Well.. one of my big lessons these days is learning not to assume when things are not the way I think they should be.

Example: I waited all month for a big sale at the sporting store to buy my sleeping bag for my trip. It is regularly $159. I got to the sale, and the bag was marked $169 with $10 off! I thought, "Jeesh! They mark it up $10 then give you $10 off. What jerks!"

Today I called the store to ask about returning something and I told them my feelings about the sleeping bag. Turns out, there are two bags. One is small and is $159. One is large and is $169. I just saw the large one. Because I ASSUMED they were jerks, I missed out on the sale! lol

Anyway.. back to you. Is is possible that she meant you were GLOWING like a pregnant lady GLOWS? I mean, all that raw food certainly does lighten ones aura!

Just a thought... :D

[blessed]

:D I have been exercising first thing in the morning on my ab lounger and taking 2 tbls. of flaxseed oil before i eat anything. After two weeks of doing this i have noticed that my stomach is getting jiggly and it use to be very firm and bloated.
I am very happy with what is happening, this morning when i woke up i looked at my stomach as i do everyday and saw that it is thinning down from the ribcage and i'm seeing a large dent on each side like it drawing inward.
I can hardly wait to see what it will look like each day.
I've waited so long to see some progress in this area. I'm looking forward to being able to fit my clothes better.
Hope this helps you so what.

Ann :p :p

[kiddies]

Belly fat is asociated with adrenal problems.

Here is a article about it. It does a really good job at explaining it:

http://www.nutricounter.com/articles/stefano2.htm

[Raene]

Thanks for all the new comments.
The thing is, I'm NOT fat! I weigh 128 pounds and I'm over 6 feet tall!
I did email my mom about her comment and she basically told me it's a mother's job to tell the truth, even if it hurts. She is really having a hard time facing the fact that I don't want to hear negativity. Oh well...I'm pretty much over it now. I have my first date tonight and I'm really nervous, but not about whether my tummy looks fat. Lol.

[RedFizz]

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with your mom being so cruel.

Often mothers are jealous of their daughter's youth and freedom (you did say you were ready to date again) and will say unkind things as a result. My mom was brutal to me in my late teens and early 20s and now I know it was only because I was at my best and she was fading (only 40, but an old, tired 40 - bad health, smoking, etc.) and didn't know how to handle being around me.....Have you considered confronting your mom and let her know how much that hurt and ask her to please keep further unkind comments to herself? Maybe let her know that comments like that will end up hurting your relationship if it continues, and that you love her and don't want to see that happen. It's possible she'll be sorry if she sees how badly her words hurt you.

That's so true, Svadhyaya! My mom is super-cruel and insulting to me, too. But she has never been to college, and is ~300lbs. I just lost ~25 lbs, can now fit into a 10, getting my Masters, living on my own, went to Paris last year, and so on. I just realized (with the help from some close mentors that I trust) that she is jealous. When they told me that, everything fell into place. However, I know I cannot approach my mom, because any time I did and was vulnerable, it gave her an opportunity "stick it to me". Now I just accept her, but I don't feel sorry for her (because it's her choice to be this way), rather I feel sad for her, because she has chosen this as her character. And I am not saying it's easy whatsoever! It has taken me 27 years to come to this.

As for the belly? Don't know what to tell you. I have decided to just call mine my Buddah belly and rub it for luck when I need it. :) With the utmost respect to Buddists everywhere, of course.

[rawpriestess]

So over the past weekend my mom visited and while I was cooking gourmet raw food she mentioned that I look pregnant (knowing that I'm not). Yes, I'm sensitive, and this comment really hurt! It's true, I haven't been 100% lately, but it still seems that no matter what I eat all my weight goes to my belly. And the sad thing is, I'm truly underweight. There's just a tummy pooch there that I'm now even more self-conscious about. The thing is, after my mom made this comment I felt I couldn't eat anything but salad in front of her and then I just get angry and compulsively eat in another room. How can I get rid of my tummy and get back the pre-baby tummy I had before my 2 yr old was born? :(
PS I don't know if anyone else is this way, but when I eat raw food I stay hungry and seem to feel like I "need" cooked to feel like I'm finished eating.
WOW, I'm so sorry that she said that.

Well, you've got a couple of things going on here, first thing is our misconception that a little tummy pooch is a bad thing,

I was a professional belly dancer for over 20 years, and I had a big belly, now ALL of the Middle Eastern people would come up and rub my tummy and talk about my beautiful full gorgeous body, I weighed over 180 pounds at the time, and I am only 5'4", I toured Japan, and made tons of money, etc.

So, it is our weird American culture that likes the flat emaciated teenager look, not any REAL man,

And if a man doesn't like your shape, fine, he doesn't need to be near it, I have always had a boyfriend, ALWAYS, even in my 50's and I weigh over 250 pounds, (or did) anyway, a man who is a real man won't care what you weigh, or look like, they will love you for your soul.

And if they do care what you look like, then toss them, they aren't worth you time.

Now, about staying raw, just try it for 30 days, give it your all, your best, journal, talk to us, let us know what is going on, and we'll all help, and you can help us. and if you are hungry --- eat, raw foods. it's that simple, if raw foods aren't enough for you, then you aren't hungy, you are craving, there is a difference, you just have to get through that and into the non-craving space of raw, it's glorious here, so come on in.

We'll help you.

[Laurina]

I agree with Rawpriestess, every word. The important thing is are you healthy, and are you happy? We can't change the attitudes of our attackers be they mothers or whomever. If you think you would enjoy Pilates then go for it, and if you would enjoy somethine else, like walking or swimming or whatever, do that. Do what you have fun doing. I tried something called Turbo-Jam. I saw the infomercial on TV and 'stole' some of the moves and tried them. I was impressed and bought the beginner's package. I am immensely impressed at how much fun it is, how Chalene, the trainer and creator of the exercises teaches us how to position ourselves to protect our joints. I find her feminine and strong, upbeat and inspiring. And the exercises have really made a big difference in my tummy muscles.

This is not to say it is better than other exercise programs, I just want to share my experinece with it in case you might also enjoy it. The main thing is to like and love yourself as you are inside, and if you like doing exercises and feeling the benefits, then by all means do it. Be how ever YOU want to be, and when you are happy with yourself men worth bothering with will also see it. Believe you will meet a good one and be happy and believe you are worth it just as you are, and it will come into your life.

Like others told you, stay away from toxic people as much as possible. Know they are miserable and trying to pull you down into similar unhappiness. They often cannot help themselves and many don't even realize what they are doing. I too can relate to those who's mothers were jealous and took verbal shots at them. It is true that we live in a society where the ultra thin look is admired. A long time ago the rounded woman was admired. Many did not have enough to eat and being plump meant the woman was from a well heeled family, and so she was thought to be the symbol of feminine beauty.

Now with food being abundant, the opposite is what the sheep-like follower type men stumble after. Slender is beautiful too, but so is a rounded feminie body, tummy and all. Being happy is the most important ingredient to beauty. We must be ourselves and if a man doesn't like it then as previous writers said, toss him out. Make room for the better one who's looking for you.

Let those who are expert in raw eating help you through the transition to raw, it's the best for ultimate health. And love your tummy, it's a wonderful part of you too.

[Green Life]

Does anyone think that a huge, hanging over the thighs belly is attractive?



Living the "Green Life"

[rawpriestess]

we are NOT talking about a "second bottom" in the front, or anything hanging over the thighs,

we are talking about a round tummy bump, the bump that Middle Eastern men think is the center of the Goddess, the round soft bump of a woman who has had a baby, not the flat look of a teenager who is starving herself.

There is beauty in all bodies, I don't care how thin or heavy, all bodies are beatiful, of course that is just my opinion, but who cares what anyone else thinks?

are YOU happy in your body? if the answer is "NO", then why not? is it because of how you feel? based upon our social culture?

The eskimo only thinks women are beautiful if they have a beautiful round full belly, this is a sign or beauty in that particular culture, but in our American culture it sure isn't, and Marilyn Monroe certainly had a round belly for sure.

So, did Jayne Russel and most of the beautfiul women in the world.

[greeninlosangeles]

I don't think kids give us the tummy. My tummy after over 6 months raw is much flatter than ever in my life, even though I have a toddler son. I think it is toxins from food. People in Lithuania-where I am originally from, never used to have love handles(although they did become fatter from too much food), but when I came here with tons of artificial stuff, I started getting them too. SAD eaters get them even if they are thin, even kids! They also have bellies. When I started eat raw, the first thing what went were love handles - I could see my waist sides again.For the belly it took longer, but it went away although if you don't count an hour walk every day, I just did bellydance once a week.
So just have patience and go all raw!

[Smiley24_7]

I ntoice that i had this problem after spending two days at a friends house (who of course didnt own raw food) and I was forced to eat cooked food. I did some yoga for while and its seemed to go down drastically. I dont know if that helped any?

[apuriana]

I just solved this problem last week.

To flatten the lower abdominals you need to lie on your back and lift your legs and then lower them again. If this is too hard (as it was for me) just point them to the ceiling and lower them halfway and then raise them again.

This worked the lower abs so much I was a bit sore at first. Do the same thing with the arms. The exercise is like opening and closing a book that is standing on it's spine.

I saw this on Access Hollywood 2 weekends ago when they did a show on aging stars in Hollywood and they showed a little bit about personal trainers and exercising. I tried this several times a day and noticed (big) results in a week. BTW I've had three kids.

[exurb]

apuriana, I'm going to try that.

However, Raene, I think your mom needs more work than your abs!!! I am so sorry you had to endure a thoughtless, rude and insensitive comment like that.

I would say to my mom that it is amazing that she got to her age without learning basic common manners and human decency.

[denisedeland]

I seem to have the same problem as well. At 118 pounds and 5'4" I'm not overweight, but I have a little belly on me. I just can't get rid of it. I'm even considering a tummy tuck to get rid of this. I have an appt with a plastic surgeon next month to set it up.. Im going to try some of the exercises everyone has talked about.. If any work for you please let me know..

Denise

[Lazarita]

I'm sorry she made such a rude comment to you. I personally have trouble with my tummy area as well. I've lost over sixty pounds by going raw but I still don't have a flat tummy.

I've read that it is toxins. So I am currently on a candida cleanse and have had a few colonics. I intend to do a parasite cleanse.

I read in Trudeau's book that fifteen colonics in thirty days will get rid of that tummy. But A. I can't afford it and B. The colon therapists that I asked were not willing to do more than one per week. The only exception was a therapist who does three in a row (one per day in a three-day period) while putting you on a juice fast.

Actually I intend to post an inquiry about colonics on a different thread. I just thought I'd mention that perhaps the pouch has to do with a colon that needs a bit of "cleaning out".

[Lay-Lay]

I was talking about my belly to my hubby last night. I even had a tummy when I was 120 pounds. He said you lose it if you want too, but I think its beautiful. Awwww!

[Ka-Yun Yoon]

so doea simply cooking foods put toxins in it? what if it is organicly raw and w/e, but then it is cooked?