What to do!?

[Lunar*Fey]

I think many of you are aware of my current situation...but just in case I'll just say that I am underweight, recovering from an eating disorder...and currently gaining weight and in a good state of mind.

Ok so here's my question...what exercise can I do that's safe? I can't really burn too many calories. I've been so scared to even move (after finally realizing how sick I am and that I'm exceptionally close to osteoperosis) so for the past month or so I've basicly just been, well, not moving. I've always been the "never sits still, athletic" type of girl...but now it's like I don't exercise at all because I'm so afraid. I've let fear control far too many aspects of my life. Any way, I've noticed that I've gained a lot more belly flab than I have ever had in my life and I'm a little over ten pounds lighter than I used to be! (before my disorder I was maybe 13 years old, 5'3 tall, and about 95 pounds) Any way, once I gain my health back I want to be a runner and possibly a swimmer. What kind of exercise can I get safely to help build muscle and keep my heart strong and healthy and such? Any advice would be wonderful, I'm just afraid to actually do it...which is kind of dumb, but I don't know...

[heabrook]

Lunar*fey,

I would suggest pilates and yoga. These build muscle and strength. While you do burn calories (but lets face it, typing on the computer burns some calories too :p ), doing pilates and yoga definitely focus more on strength and muscle toning.

What do you think about that? There are some exercises that are more intense in pilates, so you could avoid those if you didn't feel comfortable doing them. Pilates also offers less intense, more muscle targeting exercises.

But, exercising IS exercising so you will burn calories...... but you do that sleeping too.. so you can't worry too much, although I do understand your concern.

[misslinda]

Great suggestion Heabrook.........

Yoga,great for tone and mind........brisk walking is good too. Don't be afraid to move Lunar ;) . You need the blood flow to help the body stay warm and function. :) It's ironic b/c you are in a catch 22 position but I'm sure there is going to be some burning result but as you build, your body will level out....take your time and enjoy your workouts peacefully in heart,bodyu and mind ;)

[jimi]

Miss Lunar Fey -

I've always struggled with keeping weight on, which some people laugh about, but can be a real problem as you know. My experience has been that vigorous exercise helps me to increase/maintain weight. Why? I think it's because the exercise stimulates the appetite. Lethargy does not. Mathematically, you'll need to consume more calories per day to compensate for the calories you burn exercising --- my experience has been that this is exactly what happens - the more I exercise, the more I want to eat!

So give it a go! As mentioned, it's not as much about weight and eating as it is about health and energy. With a bright future like yours - you'll need all the vim and vigor you can get to put your unique dent in this universe.

Maybe ask your Mom to go for a walk?


Peace,

Jimi

[Purl]

email me @ my3fireflies@yahoo.com

[Lunar*Fey]

Heabrook~ thanks for the suggestions. :) I would love to do yoga and while I don't really know much about pilates, from what I do know I would like to do them as well. I could try to get a video or something, I'm just afraid of what my mom will say. She seems to think its bad when I show any interest in exercise. It's so frustrating, everything I say, do, think, feel, is now an eating disorder to her...and well pretty much everyone else :( .

MissLinda~ Thanks Misslinda. :) I know I need to exercise, and I feel better and healthier when I do....it's just I'm so afraid to exert myself now. I don't mean to be, it just happens! ugh. All my life I have always been a naturally athletic person who enjoys sports and being active and always worked hard and could go the distance no matter what it was. Now it's like something in the back of my head just tells me I can't or something and I just stop. I feel like well I'm not supposed to be exercising so I should just stop anyway or something. It makes me feel incapable and lazy and very unlike my old self. Well, I guess I'll just have to go for it, whatever it may be. Maybe I just needed the reassurance of someone telling me it was ok to exercise. We'll see. thanks again.

Jimi~ I know what you mean about exercise stimulating the appetite...when I was on the swim team I actually had an appetite. And also thank you, your words are inspiring and helpful. Any certain types of exercise you suggest?

Purl~ I emailed you :)

Ok, I have a book on teen yoga ("Um...Like Om, A Girl Goddess's Guide to Yoga" or something like that). So maybe I'll start doing a bit of that daily. And a brisk walk every day or something. It's just hard to stick to that with so much else going on. Also, does anyone have any specific types of exercise or even a certain workout or something that would be good for my body without overworking it? I do want to join cross country and track next year...but I know it will be challenging if my heart is so out of shape...

[misslinda]

I admire you Lunar. I know what ya mean. There is also this "mental" psychological aspect to exercise with the ED---kind of rush feeling. It'll feel like that for a little while and then execise will [become] enjoyable rather than competative or [exerting] per se.

LOL,have you been sitting around since then? :p Com'on now, let's not develop another disorder----"fear of moving". Just messin witcha :D ;)

luv ya :)

[EastCoastie]

Lunar*Fey,

In addition to all the great ideas here (pilates, yoga and walking), I would also suggest some weight training. It will help you gain strength. The people I know who do these types of exercise are not at all overweight but strong.

And if I may offer one another piece of advice one of my favorite female preachers likes to say "Do it afraid"...Don't let your fear stop you. The path may have it's ups and downs but I have no doubt that you are going to make it. Your honesty and attitude are amazing and you are a great inspiration to many of us older folks on the board.

Blessings to you sweet girl,

EC

[Lunar*Fey]

Misslinda- thank you :). and hahaha if I failed to realize this little fear of moving any longer...it might have become a disorder! lol. It's just hard because all my life I've been really active...all summer we would go to where my grandma used to live and spend all day every day swimming, swimming, swimming. When we were little and my mom was single she spent every moment playing outside with us...running, playing, laughing. ah well, now I'm older. Anyway, thank you so much. You have really been so helpful to me.

EastCoastie- Thank you. :) I figured weight training was a good idea, i probably just needed to hear it from someone other than myself. It's like I have trouble trusting myself or something, i don't know. And that is quite a good quote! I definately know what you mean, I have realized that I have been letting fear control my life for far too long...and in order to find myself again and bring myself back to health I need to just do. I need to stop trying so hard to prove to the rest of the world that I am happy and healthy again and start trying to prove it to myself, start taking action...setting goals, doing things I enjoy, etc...and the rest of the world will see in time. It's just hard going through the days when the people around you (family and doctors, and such) don't believe you are better, when you are the only one who sees and feels your improvement. I have to push through that and hope that by truly living happily and healthily they will finally see that I truly am better. I hope that made sense... Anyway, thank you so much :)

[jimi]

Jimi~ I know what you mean about exercise stimulating the appetite...when I was on the swim team I actually had an appetite. And also thank you, your words are inspiring and helpful. Any certain types of exercise you suggest?

1) A walk with your mom (ask her)
2) Swimming is great!
3) Variety - Jack Lalane(google him) suggests that the key to long-term exercise success is mixing up your exercise routine. Not only does it work different muscle groups, but it's the antidote to the mundane/keeps it fresh - variety is the spice of life.
(For Jack this meant pulling a tugboat while swimming in the San Francisco Bay to celebrate his 85th birthday :D )

[Lunar*Fey]

Thanks Jimi. With summer coming, I'll probably be able to go swimming soon. And I live on a dead end road that is rather quiet so we do go for little walks sometimes...she's just always so tired lately and has no time to herself...so she likes to spend any few moments she gets relaxing. She used to be a runner who never sat still, now I feel like it's all my fault that she's changed and isn't happy any more. wow, sorry for getting so off topic! Any way, variety yes thank you. And about that Jack guy, that's a pretty awesome way to spend your 85th birthday! or any birthday for that matter :D
thank you for your suggestions and advice :)

[jimi]

Don't give up on your Mom.
I know that you are frustrated, and she probably is too.
You can be the spark of change in the dynamics of your relationship with her.

Personal question that you don't need to answer (except to yourself):

Did you really ask her to go for a walk or did you assume that she would rather "relax"?

Either way, ask her every now and then to join you for a walk on a nice day. OK?

Respectfully,

Jimi

[Lunar*Fey]

thanks Jimi :)
I have been trying to be that spark of good relationship, I will try even harder :) . The only way to bring about change is to put energy into it yourself, right? So if I want a good relationship with my mom I have to keep working for it. To answer your question, I have done a little of both. I have asked her and most of those times she says she needs a rest and then sometimes when I want to ask she is already trying to rest. She doesn't get much of it with a little two year old. But I will continue to ask every once in a while, instead of just giving in. Thank you so much :)

[jimi]

The only way to bring about change is to put energy into it yourself, right?

EXACTLY!
If you learn and apply that lesson at your young age, you will save yourself a lot of grief. You can't change other people (Lord knows I've tried), but if you go at least 51% of the way in the relationship, you enable good things to happen. Be the spark!


Here's an idea - Load up your 2 year old bro/sis and go for a long stroll. Invite your mom. If she says no, you're really giving her an opportunity to "relax". If she says yes, all the better. Either way, breath deep and embrace the glory of the day.

[BerryGirl]

LunarFey, how about dancing in your room when no one's there? Sometimes when my husband's out I'll put on Usher or Black Eyed Peas and just go for it, even though I know I look like a dork, because it's fun! You don't have to go hard or fast or the entire cd-- just get up during part of the song, dance a little, and then go back to reading or studying or whatever. It makes for a great study break and can also help you concentrate when you get back to work. Oh, I also like salsa music. Makes me want Mexican. :)

[BerryGirl]

This may sound a little strange, but how about trying hula dancing? Our local library has a hula workout video, along with a bunch of other workout videos you can check out and see if you like them. I've bought several workout videos from www.collagevideo.com-- I love the site because people leave reviews for the videos and you can even watch 60 second clips before you buy. You could also try something like tai chi which would help you with stretching, etc. and might help you emotionally too.

[Lunar*Fey]

Thanks Berrygirl those are some great ideas! I do like dancing in my room :). My only problem is my room is upstairs and the whole house shakes just from moving...haha I do it any way, but usually just before my mom gets home. I love to dance with my two year old sister, we have so much fun dancing around and shes so adorable! She tries to copy every thing I do.