Other people who make remarks

[Sharon in Colorado]

..........................

[Mishka]

Diversion tech.'s so we all can keep our own opinions without getting into debates??? Interesting...esp. if someone is being aggressive. Hmmm..

[twinyoga]

I believe in diversion! It works!

[Sweet lips]

I read the response posts and I like what you and Doug Graham said - although, I wouldn't treat them like children.

Whenever, we do something different, there is always going to be something said to (for lack of a better word), irritate the different one. Imagine in the late 70's a football playing, African American muscle man becoming a vegetarian, that would describe my husband. Shucks imagine in 2004, because it is not a large movement in my community. We have raised Andrew as a veggie child and because he has our same genes, he is a muscle kid - so the comments we get are things like are you sure he is a vegetarian, God look at the guns on that little boy, look at his shoulders and his gait - that boy ought to be in football - well, America he plays golf.

I say all that to say, it is like religion and politics - a person can choose to argue his or her point or let their lifestyle speak for them, they way they look, they way they feel and they way ignore. I have said it before, just be a picture of what you beleive and you never have to open your mouth, even when people feel the need to push. Try this, when you get quiet on a person, and don't respond and show no emotion, they generally will be stop convesating or postualting -besides when two people are arguing, observers don't know which one is the fool. ;)

[Sharon in Colorado]

Good points there.

It would be interesting to read how other people react to many of these questions that people ask.

How would you answer these questions in a conversation:

"You know, you really should eat some meat, you need the protein. Where do you get your protein?"


"Isn't it hard to eat that way?"


"Why are you making your children eat like that?"


"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"


"You know, you are going to wither away to nothing..."


"So, you never eat bread...at all?"


"That doesn't seem very healthy to me"


"Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)"


"That's all you're gonna eat?!"

[Sharon in Colorado]

Here are some I've thought about - these are all kind of tongue in cheek. Not to answer someone who is really asking you these questions in a curious, innocent manner. These are the kinds of things to say when it is obvious that you are in for some kind of endless debate.

"You know, you really should eat some meat, you need the protein. Where do you get your protein?"


Where do you think cows get their protein from? Where do you get your fiber and vitamins?


"Isn't it hard to eat that way?"

It's not hard on my system...LOL


"Why are you making your children eat like that?"


Heaven forbid I should make my kids eat like yours!


"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"

It's a small price to pay for feeling and looking your best.


"You know, you are going to wither away to nothing..."

Great - that way I won't have to listen to you anymore!


"So, you never eat bread...at all?"

Why, does that bother you?


"That doesn't seem very healthy to me"

I could say the same about what's on your plate.


"Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)"

Feel better now?


"That's all you're gonna eat?!"

Are you gonna eat *all* that?

[flutterfly]

Good one Sharon. Have you ever noticed that the unhealthier a person is the more flack they give you about your healthy way of eating?
I have a lot of people tell me I need cooked foods while they are pushing a candy bar into the face.

[Jay]

I like some of your comments too sharon, but some of them are a bit too sarcastic in my opinion... that is: when the person knows NOTHING about raw food, then it's a bit harsh to react that way, but if the person does know about raw, and can see the results, and keeps bugging you about it with questions like these, then I think it's okay to be a bit sarcastic... it all depends on the person who asks and the WAY (s)he asks it...
just my 2 cents...

Joke

[Sharon in Colorado]

Georgie - I quite agree with you there! Like that shopping cart game (this was discussed here I believe)...look at the shopping cart before the owner. The more junk in it, the more likely that owner will be very unhealthy and vice-versa; the more fruits and veggies, the more likely the owner will look healthy.

Joke - Yes, I think most of those are a little too rude. Mostly just funny to think about. That's why I wrote that in the disclaimer. I don't know if I'd even have the courage to say half of that stuff, even to someone who's said those things to me in the first place. But I'd never say that to someone who's asking out of curiosity and interest. Most of the people who've asked me the protein question usually ask out of curiosity and not meant to attack. Sometime people ask that question in front of a whole lot of other people listening just to make a big show out of others, I've noticed. Perhaps that is a good time to pull out your guns, so to speak.

By the way, love your new avater!

[MaxMarie]

"You know, you really should eat some meat, you need the protein. Where do you get your protein?"
Join me for MY lunch and I'll show you!! Americans have been brainwashed to believe a meal without steak is a snack. Americans eat way too much protein. That's why everyone's skin is itchy and their hair is falling out. Want to hear about the big lie that is "milk does a body good?"

"Isn't it hard to eat that way?"
Define hard. You spend two hours a day at the gym. I walk to the grocery store on my lunch break to buy fresh produce. Who's more fit? [insert very big grin here]

"Why are you making your children eat like that?"
um, what kids? LOL!!!

"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"
You don't have to. You just change the way you make it.

"You know, you are going to wither away to nothing..."
You all that cow you eat is going to bloat your belly and all your hair will fall out from the toxins. When you die they'll find a meat sweater in your colon... Not my line. I stole it from Denis Leary.

"So, you never eat bread...at all?"
Not sure about this question. I make sprouted grain breads in the dehydrator...

"That doesn't seem very healthy to me"
Try it for a day. Try it for a week.

"Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)"
I don't know about that. Most people gravitate towards my plates and give me the boo-boo eyes til I share.

"That's all you're gonna eat?!"
Again, I don't know about that. I eat a TON. I'm way too hyper. I eat 5 or 6 times a day.

[Jay]

Hey Sharon,

thanks for the compliment! <blush> :)

I agree with you then, if indeed a person is saying these things in front of a crowd just to throw you off or mock your way of eating, then yes, it's alloud, or even better: you SHOULD pull out those guns and fire some sarcastic oneliners back at them, LOL!

[Sweet lips]

Love you new pciture Jay- your skin looks beautiful! Now, there is something I do say to people and a friend reminded me today and I really am a nice person, and ....

I usually get very quiet as I said earlier, and yes, some people do continue to talk and then I have to say in a voice only they can here(I have been told I can have a 1-900 voice :rolleyes: ), " why are you still talking to me", I do say it with a smile.

My mother and my aunt have always commented that I am not one to answer questions ( I really don't say anything) and Mom says that even though I never would say it out loud to her as a child, she could always hear 'are you still talking to me' But I am oh so respectful.

And Sharon, some of your things I could possible say - I am looking over my shoulder now, my hubby is standing here smiling at me because when he read this one ""Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)" Feel better now? - he wanted to know if you knew me, I wonder why he asked that question. And then I just get quiet and let the person keep talking and then every one knows just who is being foolish :D Remember because no one every heard me say anything

[Allison]

Try going to the store and buying enough fruit for nine people for a week. That really gets the comments. I've tried explaining, but...you know how it is.

Allison

[Sharon in Colorado]

Hey Max Marie (it is Max or Marie?)

Great answers!

Okay, there has GOT to be more people who get those types of questions here. How do you answer them?

[MaxMarie]

Why would you have to explain to anyone what you buy in the grocer, Allison?

For me, the most difficult people to deal with are my family. I work with my step mom. She loved one of the raw meals I brought for Christmas dinner. I made no comment to the family on my change of eating habits since so many of them, after 11 years, still can't deal with my being vegetarian. I've been talking with my boss who is very open to healthy and alternative lifestyles. So when she piped in about how tasty something I made was and the hows and whys of it, my step mom got persnickety.

She got even more persnickety when my dad helped me pick out a dehydrator. You know, he's encouraging my delusion.

So that's the hard part for me. I want to talk about it. I want them all on the band wagon because they'll feel better. My step mom has been told he's a boarder line diabetic and really needs to be strict about what she eats. Wouldn't my way be so much better than all the processed food she eats? Sure! But she's a lot like me. Stubborn! You can't tell her. She's got to find out on her own.

I also have to accept that some people have real limits to how healthy they want to be. This way isn't easy. It's no "cake walk." So unless you like yourself a lot and understand that no one is "worthy" of such prince or princessly treatment then you'll likely give it up.

I'll just keep on making yummy things and sharing them. Who's got my tiara???

[Autumn]

How would you answer these questions in a conversation:

"You know, you really should eat some meat, you need the protein. Where do you get your protein?"

I've never known anyone with a protein deficiency, have you?


"Isn't it hard to eat that way?"

Not at all. In fact, it's much easier!


"Why are you making your children eat like that?"

I don't have kids but if I did, "Because I love them".


"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"

So don't. Just give it up for today. Then tomorrow give it up for today...

"
You know, you are going to wither away to nothing..."

*laughs* Oh, I doubt that very much, but thank you for your concern.


"So, you never eat bread...at all?"

Nope.


"That doesn't seem very healthy to me"

If you'd like to know why it actually is very healthy, I'd be happy to share the information I have.

"Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)"
As long as we're agreed...

"That's all you're gonna eat?!"
Nope. I'm going to eat more later, and some more after that, and ...

[gastrawnome]

"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"
You don't have to. You just change the way you make it.


GREAT answer! :)

Whatever there is cooked.. there is a raw equivalent that is better tasting and healthier.

--Art

[Jay]

I like your answers Autumn,

very well manered and not judging or anything like that, cool!

If someone keeps bugging you about it, I'll go with some of Sharon's answers, lol!

[Sharon in Colorado]

I loved your answers too Autumn. I really liked the kids' one "because I love them"...gosh, and you're not even a parent...teaching me a lesson!

Joke - how about you? How would you answer the questions?

[golfngardennut]

I am VERY new at this, but the comment I get the most is, "I could never do that". My response has become, "I can't NOT do it." I have FM, Menieres, asthma, allergies, and migrains, as well as numerous less serious ailments. I figure they will notice when my days aren't filled with complaints about my health....

[glad_2beme]

Oh - that hits home - my good friend told me yesterday that she didnt think I was complaining as much as I used too, what was I doing??? LOL, I only mention it ALL THE TIME to her, this raw that raw , what? is she not listening???

[monkeyboy]

Oh Oh Oh,

Maxmarie rules the universe.

Oh OH oH Meat Sweater.........oh oh oh I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's an inside joke to some here in the raw community and residing in the Northeast.


Peace and happy knitting,

M.B.

[Sharon in Colorado]

monkeyboy I bet you'd come up with some dandy ones yourself!

[Autumn]

Joke - I must have been in a mellow mood when I wrote the answers. ;) Sometimes I get quite testy when having to defend this lifestyle over and over again. :mad:

The most recent person I find myself getting defensive toward is my husband. I guess I don't blame him. He has seen me go through many "diets" claiming that this one or that one was the most healthy. He just sees this as another fad. I guess he'll realize slowly but surely. Either that or I'll have to knock him over the head with a coconut. :eek:

[Autumn]

Sharon,
Hey, thanks :) Although the chances of me being blessed with a child are pretty much nil at this point, I just imagine that I would want the very best for them (like all parents). Even if I didn't eat optimally, I would feel like a snake filling their little bodies with junk and then expecting them to perform their best.

I realize though that I am not in a position to "preach" to other parents who have no desire to go raw, or even vegetarian. When I suggested (very diplomatically, I might add) to a friend that perhaps a moderately raw, vegan diet would enable her son to get off his ADD medicine, I got the "you don't have kids so what do you know" response. I just know what I see. The very VERY few kids I know that eat at least a partially raw, vegan diet are cheery, bright and calm, not climbing the walls, kicking my dog or killing each other because they are bored. :eek:

[rawpriestess]

Although I have been on/off raw for over 4 years, I am now 100% Raw, (2 whole days)-lol.

I too, have felt the "need" to answer questions, but I have never felt the "need" to defend, justify or explain my choices, and I think it is because as humans we are inately curious about anything that seems different, so there will always be questions.

If I wasn't curious back 4 years ago, I never would have found out about this truly perfect way to eat and to live.

I thank my lucky stars every day of my life now, that the person sitting next to me in a vegan cooking class, said, "I think I will go raw, even with all of this great vegan food in front of me." At which point I asked him what "Going Raw" meant, as I had never heard of this type of eating before.

He took alot of time and energy to answer my questions.

So, I see each opportunity to answer someones' comments, or tactless questions as an opportunity to share with another human being about the truly beautiful and pleasurable benefits of "Going Raw."

Blessings,
Rawpriestess

[Flottie]

Oh Gosh - I'd be out of business Autumn if your friend's idea that not having children disqualifies me from understanding and having an opinion about them were true - I coach 11-18 year olds and I don't have any of my own.

Reading all these answers has really made me grateful for my illness. I have Ulcerative Colitis and unless I eat a totally, wheat, dairy, sugar, meat, alcohol, chemical and complex carb free diet, I'm really very poorly and will have to resort to a lifetime of meds/steroids or butchery and a colostomy bag! So not much contest really and my family and friends are all supportive. I guess I could just give people who are 'having a pop' that answer, but I'm a Libran so I tend to be far more diplomatic!


"You know, you really should eat some meat, you need the protein. Where do you get your protein?"
Interesting question - I get it from sprouted nuts and seeds and green leaves - all excellent sources of protein that don't put a strain on my liver as there are no fats, antibiotics or other chemicals rearing agents to separate out during digestion.

"Isn't it hard to eat that way?"
It can sometimes be a challenge, yes. It just takes a little forethought. But the pros outweigh the cons so, for me, it's worth it.

"Why are you making your children eat like that?"
If I had children I'd say:- Oh gosh, if only I could make them eat a certain way! I don't know any children like that, do you? I encourage them sure, because like you I do what I think is best for them but ultimately they eat this way because they like it.

"I could never give up my chocolate (or bread, meat, etc) for the rest of my life!"
No, I think a lot of people feel that way. I've chosen to give it up so I can have a life! But others who give it up tend to do so as a result of trying it for a week or so and loving how it feels, that's all. No biggie.

"You know, you are going to wither away to nothing..."
If only!

"So, you never eat bread...at all?"
I wish I could say never - it's pretty addictive stuff! But when I do eat it makes me pretty ill, so for my own sake I shouldn't. It happens less and less and there are plenty of raw alternatives.

"That doesn't seem very healthy to me"
Oh I can assure you it is very healthy - but if you are genuinely interested, I'd be happy to meet up one day and tell you more about why that is.

"Okay... (while rolling eyes after looking at your food)"
I think this would be the only time when I'd be a bit confrontational and say something like...
[smiling] - ooh I think you have some issues around food and diet don't you? You seem a bit threatened by what's on my plate...

"That's all you're gonna eat?!"
[smiling again] Yeah - I had a huge stick of celery before I came out - kinda filled me up a bit! Let's tuck in though - I don't want mine to get warm!

I think the reason why some people get defensive or confrontational about a raw food lifestyle is because by our actions we saying "we are doing things this way because we think it's best". Which also means we are saying "we think your way is wrong!" Other than a criticism, taking out our little tupperware containers containing our own foods could be seen as rude, a snub or attention-seeking to some people, particularly a parent who has spent a lifetime bringing you up the way they thought best or someone who doesn't know that slipping off the raw wagon can be a really big deal. I think humour, patience and understanding are the answer.

[Wendy]

You don't have to defend it at, all, when they ask a question, just say hmmm....and look like you're thinking. They'll get bored.

I rarely have to defend what I do because all my friends and family know it doesn't matter to me what they think about my choices....

It so much easier when you are a Scorpio....

[SamL]

I was exhausting myself wondering how I would answer those questions saving face, distracting and being polite at the same time.

I rather like Wendy's plan ;) think I'll go with that one, and just let them burn themselves out with all their angst and concerns.

It's been my experience as soon as I start to respond it fires them up!
Peace is far too important to me.

It can hurt when someone you love makes a comment, the comment seems to replay itself, if I'm not armed with some self talk, it can really bring me down.

So going back to my original thought (which was actually Wendy's) , it's best to diffuse before it starts, I rather like the gaze of disinterest then they can get frustrated and go tell someone else about it.

[AutumnBreezColordLeavz]

Funny when I started eating raw, I was getting so much flak from a couple of my coworkers when it came to eating in the office.
They always had crap food, and it was the top half of my desk they would use as the office food service with cakes and cookies, and crap... I hated it when I was eating unraw, because I would be too tempted to eat it and I usually would, then gain weight and feel bloated,etc. Then I went to raw food, I changed it up....slowly.... I started to bring in food, but I brought in fruits and veggies and put the other food to the side till eventually they have brought less and less crap, now they are bringing in stuff a bit more healthy and asking me " Is this ok to eat?" Well, that is difficult to answer when it is something like granola that I believe has been cooked but don't want to discourage them but don't want them to be ignorant to societies considered "healthy" foods either. Then they add the milk and I just want to say something but hold my tongue cause I know I don't want them to comment on my choices as they did when I first started eating raw....so again to slowly bringing in the right choices and have them question me, I have already given them some info about milk, habits are hard to break I know, but I will bring in some nut or rice milk and see if they will see it and question it, sometimes questions are good....I feel my place in this world may be to educate. Those that bring on questions with attitude are students that are uneducated and unwilling at times to learn but I will focus attention on those that seem to be open. I will continue to set example, if they continue to be unwilling it is their choice, not mine. My energy level is higher and they seem to notice, that is when I say, "yes I do seem to have much more now that I changed my eating habits to live food, I feel lively now. They are changing their minds about this method, they may not enter it fully, but they are not eating as they were, and not giving me as much crap about it. I think most people know what they should do, but they don't want to give up the junk it appears to be easier to stay in the society circle of acceptance, then to be outside on the greener side of health where you have to think for yourself.

[Sharon in Colorado]

Hey Autumn Breeze, that's a tough one. People often think something is healthier because it's from a health food store. Like Annie's Mac & Cheese. Well, I even get that for my kids, but I don't consider it health promoting. Maybe a good response it, 'wow, look at you! you are getting there - the next step will be even easier to you now' something along those lines.

Maybe a good thing to do regarding the milk, would be, the next time you bring in almond milk you can comment on how good it tastes, and how healthy it is, how you soaked the nuts overnight and threw it all in the blender this morning (it was sooo easy to make and it's FRESH), and how you don't have to worry about allergies, mucus, or growth hormones! And how many different smoothies you've been able to make with it.

I have taken a totally different view on all this since I first started this thread. I felt defensive and annoyed in the beginning, but now, especially after reading what RawPriestess wrote, I'm thinking about it a lot differently. If someone was doing something they totally believed in that I thought was nuts, and they answered me defensively, how would that make me want to try it?

Oh, and I love the answer about "you must have an issue with people eating differently" or "this seems to be bothering you" to someone who'd roll their eyes at what's on my plate. I love that! Let it *continue* to be their problem, instead of getting defensive, when we often make other people's problems OUR problems.

[Wendy]

Also, one of the best things I ever learned in counseling in response to my mother's constant questions about my behavior or choices was "I don't know." I always felt obligated to answer her until I realized it was perfectly ok to just say you don't know.