View Full Version : Feel helpless and somewhat hopeless......please help
03-13-2006, 09:33 PM
I've had quite a bumpy ride when it comes to going 100% raw. The longest I have done it 100% is probably about two weeks. I start doing it and then I get these feelings like it won't work for me, yet I read all these testimonials about people who it does awesome things for. I know it is all in my head. I finally hit a LOOOOOW point this past weekend. In the past 2 years, I have put on about 60 pounds. I was just wallowing in my depression and that made it impossible for me to start any kind of healthy eating plan. So something snapped in my head this past weekend and now I have been raw with no problems. I don't question it anymore. I think I was just feeling so lost in my extra weight and feeling like I would never get it off. I know it will take time.
When you first started raw, did you ever think, "Will this work for me?? What if I do it wrong and I end up GAINING weight and feeling horrible???" What can I do to ease these thoughts.....besides waiting to see what happens? Cause when I start to have the thoughts that it won't work for me, that is when I seem to give in and give up. I guess I just feel like I want this to work soooo badly for me and I think if it doesn't, I won't know WHAT to do!!!! If become raw doesn't help me lose weight and feel better, I will feel completely hopeless.
All I keep doing is reading testimonials on here and other places like rawreform.com, shazzie's site, alissa's book and anywhere else I can find. Please reassure me that this WILL work. If is doesn't......I just don't know what I'll do. I'm at the end of my rope.
03-13-2006, 10:01 PM
In the past 2 years, I have put on about 60 pounds. I was just wallowing in my depression and that made it impossible for me to start any kind of healthy eating plan. .
If become raw doesn't help me lose weight and feel better, I will feel completely hopeless.
Purtyflowrr, WOW, I can hear your depression thru your words!!!!! ;) I only joke b/c I am diagnosed with MD and other dsmv whatever their trying add on me :eek: What caused your depression --what happened Purty????
Hey, you made some interesting statements........above.
If you gained 60 pounds b/c you were NOT on a healthy plan than how can RAW that is omitting all those things that you WERE eating, not help you??? :confused:
Is the concern more if you will have the desire to do this? Afraid that the depression will gloom so deep and so far wide that you won't be able to do raw?
I feel your pain b/c I did that before my second attempt at raw, I ate until moon turned purple,didnt' shower,basically didn't give a damn. I was hoping for some kind of package that said RAW and have it magically change me............then I got frustrated...........
The challenging thing about our depression is being PROACTIVE instead of passive which depression does to us--ya know what I mean? ;)
Imagine feeling good for once? Losing weight? Taking charge of your life? If this is worth getting,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,run with it! don't be afraid to DO IT and LIVE the experience cuz we can sit here all day and wonder it this is going to work.
How can eating fresh,natural,enzyme packed,vitamin and mineral foods not make you feel good and lose weight??? Hey, if you can prove to me it won't, I will send you a MILLION DOLLARS :D
talk to us Purty ;)
03-13-2006, 10:06 PM
purtyflowerr-I totally hear what you are saying...but ..Raw works -it truly does. first- do not try & do this like any other diet. You need fats-like avocados & nuts, fruits, & veggies. Don't try & equate this to any other diet. You are going to be eating different & you need to eat often. Don't get caught up in all the food combining, etc...worry about that later. Let your body tell you what you want to eat.
I did Raw last March for 2 weeks-felt great -but then stopped-stupid me..but I made Raw dishes throughout the year-& then after the Holidays I jumped into Raw & haven't looked back. I've been able to lose 18 pounds-just started to exercise a few weeks ago & have gotten out of depression.
Just follow Alissa's book & you'll be fine.Best of all-enjoy all the beautiful foods that you are about to enjoy.
Use the search button to find some tasty recipes & hints...& enjoy Raw.
Ps...I totally understand the "diet" jumping pattern that you describe-been there-done that. I also get the something just "snapped" in my head...I hear you...It does work...In fact..did you know that the Raw food plan-I hate the word "diet" is the #4 "diet" according to Forbes magazine. does that make you feel any better. The longer you hang out at this site, the better you will feel. :)
03-13-2006, 10:07 PM
Great Answer, Miss Linda!
And Purty. You described me almost to a "T".
It's great to have a forum like this where we come to be encouraged, and to ENcourage.
You will make it. I just KNOW it!
03-13-2006, 10:08 PM
I felt that way many times. But the more I learned about raw the more I understood and applied to my new raw lifestyle. For example....I changed from non-organics to organics which made a difference for me. I started smoothies a year after learning about raw...which also made a difference. And all sorts of other things that made it work for me. But it has been a journey of ups and downs. But this raw diet does work. I keep learning. For example I just found out that frozen corn is not raw but blanched and that is why I always overate on them....and would start craving cooked foods. Don't give up....hang in there, ask questions, and we will be here to support you!
03-13-2006, 10:12 PM
YES, you will lose weight
but Eating Raw food is NOT about losing weight, the weight loss is a benefit, but eating raw food is about gaining health.
Being able to sleep at night,
being able to run upstairs,
releasing challenges with your body
Please eat raw for ALL of the health gains you can receive not just the weight loss,
03-13-2006, 10:14 PM
Sorry to butt in but I have to give a shout out to Miss Linda. I've been away for awhile-but I'm back. I am just so speechless ...your leadership on the forum. esp/wCarmel & Chris. Just wanted to let you know...Good to see you :D You rock Young "Grasshopper" ;)
RawPriestess..congrats on being a moderator..You are great on the forum..love your posts...I was soo touched reading about the "bonfire ceremony"..Just had to tell you... :)
both of you ladies are great...IMO
03-13-2006, 10:18 PM
Ok, here's my story. have a seat. i've struggled with my weight and body image for a long time.....probably since the 4th grade....i'm serious. i did crazy diet and everything to lose the weight all through elementary school and high school. in high school, i joined weight watchers and lost some weight and started exercising....a lot! i started out at around 170 and at the end of high school, i was probably around 145....but still not happy. in college, i continued to exercise and obsess about calories and food. i also started binging....badly. but i would restrict enough on the days i didn't binge, that i still continued to lose weight. i also started running like mad. 5 or 6 miles a day. obsession. from 2000 - 2004, i finally got down to around 130 which was pretty thin for me. i'm 5' 6", but i carry my weight very well. i felt fantastic about how i looked....although i still wanted to lose about "5 more pounds." it was never good enough. then something happened. i snapped. all the obsession and exercising got to me. i moved to new york city and i think the stress coupled with my mental fatigue really started to wear me down. i started binging more and more and the weight started creeping up. as the weight came on, i got more and more depressed. it was a vicious cycle. after being in the city for about 2 years, i moved home in july 2005. at that time, i was around 170. now, i am 190. basically, this is because i gave in to the depression. i started believing i was ugly and that it was hopeless for me ever to lose weight again. i just felt disgusting.
"I feel your pain b/c I did that before my second attempt at raw, I ate until moon turned purple,didnt' shower,basically didn't give a damn. I was hoping for some kind of package that said RAW and have it magically change me............then I got frustrated..........."
that is me now. well, i hit that this past month and now i'm ready to kick it in the butt....make some changes.
so, you're all right. if eating crap made me so unhappy with myself, how are the changes i am making not going to make a difference??? my dream for myself is to get down to a weight where i am happy, but i don't have to obsess about everything i put in my mouth and run a million miles a day. when i was much thinner, i was not doing it in a healthy way. looking back at pictures, i didn't even LOOK that healthy. very tired looking. i remember i was sooooo afraid that eating an extra apple or powerbar here and there was going to instantly make me fat.
i guess i am dealing with my inner demons right now. i am sooooooooo ready to commit to this 100%. i want to start to become the "after" to my "before". i guess i have fear that i will be the only person who it doesn't help and i will just be big forever. :) i know.....so dramatic.
i can't wait for a few months to pass and i look back at this and think, "oh, how silly i was to think like this!!!!"
03-13-2006, 10:24 PM
haha. i don't know why it says undefined on my reply!!! i tried to change the font size and color and stuff....guess my computer is being funny.
anywho........RP......yes, i totally agree!!!!!!!!! i can't do this only to lose weight. i have been reading so much info on how the food we eat is soooo bad for us. i am almost done with the China Study and it's SCARY!!!!!! so of course i want to ward off cancer and disease.......BUT.......i also want to lose weight!! and i want to be able to run again like i used to. i miss that. maybe not the obessive over-running, but doing decent distances. i miss my "thin" personality, if that makes any sense. i feel different now. not as much fun. i know it's because i'm self conscious. i want to be healthy AND thin. i just want to feel good and self confident again. sigh.
03-13-2006, 10:31 PM
It's good to open up. Have you started a journal. Writing down your thoughts can help. Fears are natural when doing something new-but we've all been in the "newbie" shoes & we all understand. :)
I understand the depression-oh so well..you see..I got a little "stingy" w/Raw & went against my gut instinct & tried to do a "low-fat" Raw. it turned me into an obssessive/compulsive mood-swinging depressed person who I did not recognize.
I really feel when you STOP worrying about the weight loss-focus on eating the Raw healthy foods-the weight will come off. Sometimes just the stress of conventional "dieting" can keep the weight on.
I know this may sound "cliche" but this really is a "lifestyle-not a "diet".
You'll see, the foods just make you feel more alive-I know for me-I can feel the difference in HOURS. I know that sounds crazy but it is so true.
Time flies when you're having fun. Learn as much as you can..read & post on the board & you'll have a new photo..it works & this is a fun place to be.
03-13-2006, 10:43 PM
LOL.........omg, we will have to exchange therapy notes PURTY! This is going to be new and exciting b/c you day is coming like a FIREBALL in the sky.............
Lanasq's suggestion about jouranling is one of the best tools here!!!!!!! Newbie shoes :p I love it........too cute.
but seriously, I am a long distanc runner too and I knwo that obsessive feeling. I know what you mean by hating your body......I was about 4 of 5 when I hated my body. I spend ALL my life with anorexia/bulimia up until maybe 3 years ago..............it's like you feel trapped in your body--ya know?
As hard as it is to stomach, if you view raw as a diet to lose weight, you will be frustarted. Honor the beauty of healing on many levels.........mood,depression,skin,nails,hair,men se,etc. andyes, weightloss ;)
Do you have Alissa's book? what kinds of appliance do you own?
and now i'm ready to kick it in the butt....make some changes.
Hey, sounds "Purty" good to me........... ;)
ps Lana......you haven't been away for awhile........you've jsut been away TOO long. great to see you and thank you for the loving words :)
03-13-2006, 11:04 PM
I have another thought..I have been reading Miss Linda's Journal..& she's been writing down her dreams...very cool stuff..& I think it can help. Dreams can show us what's really bothering us & lead us to resolution. (that's if you sleep & are not on the net until the wee hours of the morning) like some of us ...LOL :D
Well, I may as well disclose that I'm not only a "depression" sufferer-but "bi-polar." I started doing Raw in the obsessive/compulsive way..like other "diets." Ran into big trouble-lack of fats-not good-learn from my mistakes...this isn't a diet...It isn't about calories/fat/ stop the worrying...the weight will come off. I can hear the fear in your words..I know that sounds wierd...but trust us-what do you have to lose..this is real live food...
Plus-you will have the energy-the raw "high" comes right after-yes the "detox". You will be kicking butt real soon..
MissLinda...I missed you a lot...I'm catching up as fast as possible. :D Too late to join your challenge?
03-13-2006, 11:18 PM
Purty, you will tons a support here. Don't hesitate to ask when you need help. ;)
Ugh Lanasq, there getting ready to nail me down with BP too!!!!! :eek: Lanasq.........where were you ????????? :confused:
Never too late to join the challnege comon over!!!!!!!!! you to PUrty :)
03-13-2006, 11:35 PM
MissLinda...I've been "lurking" & doing a little journaling-but had to leave town for a death in the family & I have to admit I "tried" another Raw plan./low-fat.. Fell on my *ss-learned alot...
I'll join the Challenge. I'm back for good. Very cool plan.. :cool:
MissLinda..don't listen to the BP thing..I read a really cool sight yesterday...girl started to explain that she was "BP" to an aquaintance & b4 she could go on they said-Wow...you must be sooo creative" No labels..We're "creative."..cool hey... :D
03-13-2006, 11:41 PM
Purty, let's join the challenge. I have to get to bed tonight...but I will get my goals together & get started in the AM..This will be fun.. :)
03-13-2006, 11:56 PM
i'm starting the challenge tomorrow too...so thats 3 of us with the same starting date...:)
and purty...since the PM's are disable now...feel free to email me at email@example.com if you want..
03-14-2006, 12:03 AM
Don't worry about being perfect and being 100%. Try to do the best that you want to do and if you don't then so what. About losing weight. I just want to let you know that since I have been raw, about 2 1/2 months, I have cured depression, and compulsive eating desires. I did not really actually compulsively overeat because I controlled myself most of the time, but I did always want to overeat and it was always a fight. I no longer have a desire to eat more than I really need. I did lose 10 lb's within the first 2 weeks and I have not lost a pound since (2 months). I have come to the realization, that I will have to excercise to lose the 70lb's that I want to lose and then I will most likely be able to maintain pretty easily and happily with raw and be completely satisfied. You may possibly have to come to the realization that excercise may be the way to lose if you don't just by eating raw. I will bet though, that once you do lose, you will easily be able to maintain on a tasty, fulfilling and satisfying raw lifestyle.
Just my opinion, but I believe that you will feel sooooooo much better and HIGHLY reduce and cure any potential or existing medical problems so you will most likely either want to stay raw or return to it if you leave. You may have to resort to excercise (a good thing either way), to lose the extra lb's and you may not have to. I will gurantee you that you will feel happier and more alert at the VERY least.
03-14-2006, 06:02 AM
i just wanted to let you all know that you rock, rock, rock!!!!! i am in for the challenge! i have to go to work right now, but when i get home, i'll get all my thoughts together and post a longer response and go join the challenge. i do have a journal on here. i can't figure out how to put the link to the journal on my posts? i'll have to look at my profile page again and see if i missed something on there. ok....gotta go to work....
as for working out.....i already do work out. i'm going after work, in fact. so........bring on the endorphins!! i could use some.
once again...i so appreciate all your support and answers! i just have to be successful with this! i know it. i feel it. i've been reading about the visualization techniques on some other threads and i totally believe it. just like the power of prayer.
ok, gotta go for real!
MIRANDA!!!!!!!! i miss talking to you! i'll definitely email you. :)
03-14-2006, 07:54 AM
feel free to e-mail me at:
"Let's get this party started"...& join those girls at the challenge.. :D
03-14-2006, 10:24 AM
I can't help but respond and just offer encouragement.
You can do this! I've had some bumps along the way and I"m starting 100% all over again..the depression thing can be kicked! It's not like a pill that will act immediately but give it some time....listen to you body...you CAN do this and you will feel SO much better in the end. I never believed in positive thinking, but read some threads here. This weekend I had a rough time (brought on my way too much cooked food!) and positive thinking really really helped! I was astounded.
So, just adding my "you go girl" voice to the rest...
03-14-2006, 11:02 AM
Purty, you can do this....it's a process. Just follow Alissa's suggestions, eat, and be happy. Someone said, it's not about being 100% raw, it's about being 100% happy. Sometimes our resistance is trying to teach us something. If you feel to, do some journaling. I am dealing with those 'demons' these days. and just this morning I decided that I DON"T HAVE TO STRUGGLE. I can do what I am willing to do and love myself thru it all. This WILL transform you. Be patient with yourself and love yourself through it. That's the most important thing, after years of self hatred about food addictions and fat...to love ourselves NO MATTER WHAT. To adore ourselves NO MATTER WHAT. Focus on these things and the food will eventually fall into place, because raw is about loving yourself.
Love and BLessings,
03-14-2006, 02:17 PM
Purty, What Jan said is crucial...Love yourself now.. :) Follow the book, have FUN with your food & keep on the site... :)
03-14-2006, 05:02 PM
i tried to put a link to my journal....not sure if it worked, so i'm seeing if it will appear on this post.
today was really a great day mentally for me. thank you all for your help! it means more than you can know!
03-14-2006, 05:39 PM
WOWSERS......you're awesome. made us nervous yesterday but we need that here --keeps the raw drama 'live" :p just messin withcha all!
Purtyflowrr, I'm really excited for you. We have so much ahead of us and get to rewrite our lives. :)
ps keep in mind that emotional detox will happen in raw. please feel free to let us know when you struggle.
03-14-2006, 06:32 PM
misslinda! i love your humor!! who said rawfoodtalk has to be serious business?? lol. you make me laugh. thanks! and yeah, i'm up for good old drama anytime. keeps me sharp. ;)
and don't worry, i'm sure i'll be sharing all my emotional drama as well. i know it's coming.
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