Somebody please talk some sense into me!

[julesmoz]

I have been 100% raw for a little over a month, and I've definitely had a rough last couple of weeks. For different reasons each time. Almost immediately after going 100%, I got really skinny and my face broke out. I was low-energy and, though I felt "hungry" from having an empty stomach, I didn't have much of an appetite, either. In the past week, I've finally started rebuilding, and am putting healthy weight back on rather quickly! My energy levels are MUCH better, too. Skin is still problematic, but I'll be patient :)

Then, I didn't know how I'd ever succeed socially on raw. I've since developed some strategies which have worked great, but it's just so hard to not join in the food fun with my friends! Food is a huge component of fellowship in many cases, and it's a passion of mine.

Cooking is another passion of mine, so that's kinda conflictual. I love cooking for my adamantly un-raw hubby and friends. But it's hard when you really want to eat what ya just cooked!

Then there's just the boredom that comes when it's winter and the only things you can afford to buy are oranges, apples, bananas and greens. I love green smoothies, but sometimes I just want something new! I know that this will get better as I learn more recipes and plan better, but it's still hard right now . . .

I know there are so many benefits to raw, and I know I need to be patient to see them. But it feels like I'm constantly being counter-cultural, and it (along with enduring that nasty skinny/zitty stage) all adds up to making it feel like it's not worth it to be 100%.

Somebody, please talk some sense in me and make me stay the course until I finish my detox and start living in the full reality of raw! It's tempting sometimes to back down to 75-80%, but from what I understand, so many of the benefits are never realized if you do that.

Also, if you've been 100% for 6 months to a year, can you "cheat" occassionally without having reprocussions that are too major?

Thank you so much. Your support has been enormously helpful to me so far, and your replies always bless me!

- Julesmoz

[rawpriestess]

No one can make you do anything,

It is all up to you. win lose, fail succeed.

and actually there is no failure, it is all feedback,

what you focus on will continue in your life.

so, if you are focusing on cooked foods, which it sounds like to me, then you will continue to have issues with cooked foods.

so, why not put your culinary expertise into creating raw delicacies?

there are tons more than apples, oranges, banans and greens,

my goodness,
lemons
limes
grapefruits
pears
peppers
cauliflower
brocolli
celery
carrots
etc.etc.etc.

my goodness, plus all the nuts and all the nut milks, nut or seed cheeses
and dips and dressings, and pate's and and and

I could go on for hours.

but what I will say is this

YOU CAN DO IT
that is all there is to it,

you are doing it now, so just keep on one day at a time, one second at a time, one bite at a time.

get rid of all that cooked food, and don't make it anymore if you want to eat it, start making raw food goodies, and then eat them.

[julesmoz]

Such good advice, Rawpriestess. "What you focus on will continue in your life."

My dilemma is this: when I have time to focus a lot on raw, it's not a problem. But raw is only one dimension of my life, and definitely not the most important thing. That's part of what's making it hard right now . . . if it comes down to being raw but not pursuing cooking, for example, that's a hard decision to make. Especially because my husband enjoys my cooking so much, and is still weirded out by my raw.

That was a definite oversimplification of the food thing. I eat way more than just those things I mentioned. It's just that we're on a really tight budget right now, so I can't splurge much. Also, when I get busy with other things, I can't go to the Farmer's Market as regularly as I'd like. Let's just say I'm really looking forward to the summer produce!

I am realizing that I have my issues when I've had a couple of days in a row of not having very good food variety. So part of the learning process for me seems to be to keep the house well-stocked.

Honestly, like I said, the biggest issue is the feeling that I'm always being counter-cultural (this extends into other areas of my life besides raw). I know, even as I type, that I want to stay 100%. But following your heart is so hard that sometimes it feels like it'd be easier to just "settle" and live like everyone else, ya know?

[fiddler]

Hang in there... It gets easier once you transition and learn the skills for maintaining this raw lifestyle. However, I must say that I have had periods of self-doubt as well and they still pop up in my head before I realize that I must squash them immediately.

As for being like everyone else? Hmmm, no thanks! Being natural is much more pleasant without all the painful discomforts caused by the standard american diet.

[misslinda]

I accidentally came across this post by Alissa. It's an excerpt from an older thread and it was in response to another member questioning raw. I found it to be very helpful when I get that doubtful voice in my head.




we are all individual human beings and not one way works for all of us, just like not one cooked food diet works for everyone. look at all the different ways people eat a cooked diet!
i think a major problem lies with trying to do this diet 'like everyone else' or like i have said many times in the past, being too strict and not having fun with it and not having the freedom.
But one other major issue i want to point out is that 'not being ready' issue.
This is really a biggie. When i talk about not being ready i don’t mean it in a judgmental way as in you have to be enlightened before doing this diet or have worked out all your emotional baggage first. But i can tell you that if you are not dealing with your emotional stuff this diet will bring it up. Because you are not 'stuffing down' your emotions or hiding behind your comfort foods your issues will certainly arise. We are not always aware of this and do not always know that this is related to the emotional and tend to blame the food that we are not doing well with raw foods, not getting 'enouph' or not feeling full, we don’t always want see that it could be the emotional.

[julesmoz]

Wow, misslinda. Very good point. Thank you so much for posting that!

Food was always what I turned to as an emotional buffer. As I've had a couple of rough days, emotionally, I'm wanting to turn to food to comfort me. I've been blaming raw, but it's not raw at all! It's my emotional stuff! Man. Good insight, and I do thank you!

[misslinda]

too bad we can't all be sitting around a campfire and gab all nite long :p

i know what you mean.....the other day I blurted "I should just go to the french bistro and try that dessert you had...." to my sis. Her eyes grew BIG and she was SO happy and said "Yeah, let's go together..." I said no right away and she was quiet. I also miss going for sushi with my mother and sitting in the tatami room eating sushi with her.

Then I realized that part of my raw transition entails: avoidance. I purposely avoid situations (mainly my depression) but the avoidance is a way for me to personally figure out how to be ME with a rawfood lifestyle and how I will interact with others. It really is intense.........feels like a rebirth.

What did you mean "just settle" "live like everyone else?" What does that mean to you?

[julesmoz]

To me, "just settle and live like everybody else" means doing things the way that other people do them (for example, eating cooked food) even though you know there's a better way. In other words, in order to be like everybody else, you often have to lower your standards ("just settle"). Obviously, that's not what I really want out of life! Not at all! But when you've had enough encounters with people where you realize that you're doing something radically different with your life than they are (with different challenges and needs), it's just so slightly tempting to throw in the towel, "be more laid back" and join them.

Of course I know this isn't something I want to do, but I've just had a weird couple of days with it (not only relating to raw, but also many other decisions I've made in my life). It's really good to have other "counter-culturals" to pep talk me and let me know I'm not the only one making "different" choices in life!

Thanks for your concern :)

I'm curious, too . . . what do you mean by "avoidance"? Avoidance of what?

[Geraldine]

Hi,
I know that it can be hard to stay raw sometimes. In the Cheeto aisle, cooking a great meal for a community function, Friends offering you your favorite cooked foods that they know you love.

You are doing the right thing. Post your feelings...get feedback from people like me.

Keep inspirational raw books around, so during difficult times you can read the miracle stories of peope who have stayed raw. Also keep a journal/ diary.

There is a 10 year old in all of us that does not care about tomorrow, only wants immediate gradification. If we listen to it, and eat things that we really don't want, we feel crappy the next day-we didn't accomplish anything.

You are a priestess? Make a Magickal Operation that is an oath to yourself and post it where it will be private and you will see frequently. Don't forget to sign it.

And you know what they say, if you don't want a haircut, don't hang around the barber shop. Just limit your places that are tempting, especially at first. Your taste buds will change cravings eventually. Then you can expand you world to visit.

I wish you the best.

Geraldine

[misslinda]

To me, "just settle and live like everybody else" means doing things the way that other people do them (for example, eating cooked food) even though you know there's a better way. In other words, in order to be like everybody else, you often have to lower your standards ("just settle"). Obviously, that's not what I really want out of life! Not at all! But when you've had enough encounters with people where you realize that you're doing something radically different with your life than they are (with different challenges and needs), it's just so slightly tempting to throw in the towel, "be more laid back" and join them.


there are interesting statements b/c I find mysefl having the same thoughts at times......I then realized that I will be ME no matter what social setting,food choices or lifestyle I choose. Isn't it amazing how food choices affect practically every part of our lives?!??!!??!

Of course I know this isn't something I want to do, but I've just had a weird couple of days with it (not only relating to raw, but also many other decisions I've made in my life).


ME TOO!!!! :p

Thanks for your concern :)

I'm curious, too . . . what do you mean by "avoidance"? Avoidance of what?

Avoidance of people,places and things that would hinder me from raw. If I could not phsycially avoid it, I would mindfully do so.

When I decided to go completely raw and did FEEL ready mind body and spirit, I needed to be alone to hear myself think,ask questions and respond. All without the influence of other people that I knew would discourage me. Food is so intimate-- ;)





my answers are in the quote--bolded. :)

[JMD]

I am sorry you are having skin issues...I know it will pass...it is a well needed cleansing...that is how i see it...

Maybe get another passion besides cooking......how about walking , yoga--my love:)--, reading, knitting--it is trendy now!!, painting something that has nothing to do with food to activate the "I am different " voices...

Just my thoughts b/c I am doing the same......:)

Best,
JMD

[julesmoz]

Good advice and encouragement, all of you. Like I said, it's just SUCH a blessing to have other people I can talk to about raw! Takes away the, "I'm on an island" feel, ya know? I don't have to have all my friends be raw, I just need a group of 'em that I can discuss the challenges with. So thank you so much, guys!

I do think part of my problem is that I've experienced a lot of detox and not a lot of the final benefits of raw. I need to just stick with it! No use working this hard to get to where I am now if I'm just gonna quit. And I am not a quitter!

Thanks for the encouragement on the skin, too :)

[julesmoz]

I just literally had a life-changing revelation, partly sparked by your question, misslinda, of what does it mean to me to "just settle and be like everyone else" . . .

All my life, I've always wanted to be the best at anything I pursue. Not MY best. THE best. Because of that, I usually do things partially tainted by the motivation of wanting to be better than everyone else. What I just realized is that I'm so, so tired of doing things that way! The reason I was feeling the social separation had nothing to do with raw and everything to do with my "superiority complex"! When I was longing to "just settle," I realized that I was longing to let loose and be okay with not being the best! That doesn't mean I have to give up my dreams, it just means that I do my dreams - including raw - because that's what I truly want to do. Not because I feel like it'll make me better than others. No one is making me do raw. It is a choice I've made for myself because I know it's best for me. When I think of it that way, raw doesn't feel like a bummer or a bondage at all!

Thanks for asking me to think more about what I was saying :) This is seriously something I've struggled with and prayed for understanding on since I was 16! So very seriously and sincerely, THANK YOU!!!

It is so crazy how raw uncovers all kinds of spiritual and emotional things, in addition to uncovering optimal health!

- Julesmoz

[misslinda]

I just literally had a life-changing revelation, partly sparked by your question, misslinda, of what does it mean to me to "just settle and be like everyone else" . . .

All my life, I've always wanted to be the best at anything I pursue. Not MY best. THE best. Because of that, I usually do things partially tainted by the motivation of wanting to be better than everyone else. What I just realized is that I'm so, so tired of doing things that way! The reason I was feeling the social separation had nothing to do with raw and everything to do with my "superiority complex"! When I was longing to "just settle," I realized that I was longing to let loose and be okay with not being the best! That doesn't mean I have to give up my dreams, it just means that I do my dreams - including raw - because that's what I truly want to do. Not because I feel like it'll make me better than others. No one is making me do raw. It is a choice I've made for myself because I know it's best for me. When I think of it that way, raw doesn't feel like a bummer or a bondage at all!

Thanks for asking me to think more about what I was saying :) This is seriously something I've struggled with and prayed for understanding on since I was 16! So very seriously and sincerely, THANK YOU!!!

It is so crazy how raw uncovers all kinds of spiritual and emotional things, in addition to uncovering optimal health!

- Julesmoz


OMG, we MUST be connected at the hip bones b/c I was having this same thought about myself yesterday afternoon!!!!!!!!!!! WOWSERS, you said it all for me....I too always atrived to do the impossible..if I was awarded praise for something, it had to better than that........I'd go the next level---but here was no level cuz I belived in some distorted made up level of perfection.


THANK YOU MERCI BEACOUP.........WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)

[julesmoz]

I tell you what, girl, I definitely appreciate you! You are such a blessing to the boards. Don't ever tell yourself you don't have many friends, 'cause you've got hundreds of them here! I can't imagine how many lives you've affected with your encouragement, honesty, and experience. You have quite a ministry - and a family - here.

Tell that to your depression next time it lies to you! (I can talk . . . I struggled with depression for 3 years.)

- Julesmoz

[misslinda]

:: smiles :: thank you. your signature speaks well with me ;)